AN: I just wanted to say thank you so much for all of the reviews so far.
I've gotten over two hundred for this fic! The encouragement and
compliments have been enough to feed my writer's appetite for years. (Not
that I'm complaining!)
On another note, I wanted to get this one out fast, so if you see any spelling or grammer mistakes, just kindly mention it to me and the next thing you know it'll be fixed! Remember to read the two companion pieces to this, available on my bio. (Yes, I'm shamelessly advertising. Sorry if that bothers you.)
* * * * * * * * * *
"Anakin, can I talk to you?"
I turned around very slowly from where I had been walking in a hallway, afraid to see who it really was who had questioned me. I knew I must have appeared shocked when I saw that it really was Obi-Wan. My former master was looking extremely nervous, but his features were more open than I had seen them since before he left for Yoda. I nodded numbly.
"I . . ." Obi-Wan trailed off. "I talked to Padmé."
"She told me."
"Yeah, I figured she would." Obi-Wan rubbed the back of his neck nervously. "I've been thinking a lot. There hasn't been much else to do."
"What did you think about?"
"My life," Obi-Wan said. He smiled bitterly. "Let me rephrase that. My past life."
"And?"
Obi-Wan paused for a long time, his eyes beseeching my own. When he finally did speak, he blurted it out with more relief with each passing word, as if he was happy to finally get it all off his shoulders. "I acted coldly to you. Unnecessarily so. Yoda tried to talk to me. We stayed on Dagobah for an extra day or so, but we didn't accomplish anything. And then I came back, and I lashed out at you, because you were the easiest one to blame. Obviously. But . . . I did some heavy meditating, and I . . . well, I guess you could say I was enlightened by an old friend. Anakin, everything happens for a reason. The Force controls everything to a certain extent. I'm a Jedi, and I should have known this."
"Don't forgive me so easily," I interrupted. "I was supposed to bring balance to the Force, not make it terribly one-sided."
"Don't get me started," Obi-Wan remarked dryly. "I hate pulling you out of the river of self-pity. I didn't forgive you easily. Needless to say, I'm still a little upset."
"An understatement?"
"An extreme understatement," Obi-Wan agreed. "But I can get over it. I talked to Sabé earlier, and we've . . . well, I can't quite say that things are ever going to be the same. But it's for the better. And I've made peace with what happened, Ani. It just took me awhile."
A grin broke out on my face when he called me by my pet nickname. "I don't deserve you," I said; Obi-Wan didn't deny it.
There was nothing left to say after that, and so we parted with tentative smiles. I felt as the gap that had grown between us had been recovered, but we still weren't where we had been a few weeks beforehand.
I went straight to Padmé, wanting to share this with her. I felt elated for once, without the undercurrents of depression and darkness. Everything seemed to be going my way this time. She wasn't there, so I sought her out with the Force; I found her presence along with Sabé's and the childrens' in one of Sabé's visiting rooms.
When I arrived there, I had to buzz the door. Bail didn't trust me enough to give me any security codes in the palace. I didn't mind. Much.
It was Leia who opened the door, and she was smiling at me. Her smiles could change off and on. I recognized this as her quietly happy one. It wasn't like the brilliant ones she could sometimes create, but it would do. I reached down and picked her up. She let herself be slung onto my hip as I entered the room. Padmé and Sabé were sitting at a table, rapidly discussing something. Sabé, for once, didn't have dried tear tracks on her face, and her Force signature wasn't dark and clouded. Or, at least, not as dark and clouded as it had been. Luke was watching the holonews. He had become enraptured by the pleasure he'd never been given throughout his life. He looked up to give me a smile. Luke's smiles were always the same. Lopsided and boyish. Padmé informed me that he was going to be a real pill, that he took after me in many ways.
"Sorry to interrupt," I said politely as Padmé and Sabé turned to look at me. I decided that what I had to say could wait. "Do you want me to take the children?"
"Oh, would you?" Sabé asked, relieved. "I would have Irshaad take them, but he insists that Luke is none of his business. The children don't want to be seperated."
"That's understandable. Do you guys want to go see Yoda?" I asked. looked up once more and leapt off his feet. "Will we get to learn Jedi tricks?" he asked eagerly. The children had taken quite a liking to the old, green Jedi Master, and Yoda seemed to be just as taken with them.
"Don't you always?" I replied. Leia squeezed my shoulder softly to let me know she was pleased. I smiled and winked at Padmé as I took the children out of the room, Luke's tiny had gathered up in my own.
"What did you guys do today?" I asked as we began our journey to the room where Yoda was staying. I had discovered that talking to four-year-olds was one of the most delightful pastimes in the galaxy. Especially my little four-year-olds. Where Leia was intelligent and mature, Luke was naive and innocent in his standard boyish way. They were both charming in completely opposite ways.
"Mo--I mean, my old mother told Irshaad that he wasn't welcome in the castle anymore," Leia said, joy obvious in her voice and features.
"I'll bet you're extremely disappointed," I said dryly. To Luke, "And what about you? Did you sit in front of the holo all day again?"
"No. Mother said that it isn't healthy," Luke said, sounding every bit as if he disagreed with Padmé's notions. "Leia and I played a game."
"What game was it?"
"We pretended like we were Jedi, Daddy," Leia said eagerly. I noticed that she had taken to calling me 'Daddy' before calling Padmé 'Mother'. I knew that she only did as much because she hadn't been with Bail very much during her life, and that she certainly didn't love him in the way she loved Sabé. I just hoped Padmé realized this and didn't take it too much to heart.
"You're not too far off the mark," I told them.
"I know we *are* Jedi," Leia said, "but we pretended like we were bigger Jedi. Like you and Yoda."
"And Obi-Wan," Luke added.
Leia wrinkled her nose. "I don't like him."
"Why ever not?" I asked, curious.
"He made my mommy cry," Leia said matter-of-factly. "And he made me cry. He's very . . . discouraging."
"He didn't make me or my mommy and daddy cry," Luke boasted. "He showed me stuff about space."
"Well maybe he doesn't like . . . Aunt Sabé then," Leia said, her voice faltering at the name she had been instructed to call Sabé. She still felt awkward saying it, and a lot of the time she forgot to. But she was coping as well as could be expected.
"No, Leia," I reassured her, "I think he likes your aunt Sabé very well."
"Then why did he make her cry?" Leia asked softly, her eyes looking troubled as she stared at me.
"Because sometimes that's what happens when you love somebody. I can't tell you the countless times I've made your mother cry."
Leia looked even more troubled by this, but whatever she would have said was forgotten as we arrived at Yoda's door that moment. The old Jedi Master greeted us cheerfully and invited us in for some stew he was brewing. He said it was his very own concation from when he was on Dagobah. Luke was appalled by it, but he was too polite to say anything to the poor creature. That was one thing to thank Beru for. She had brought the boy up right so far. Leia ate it, but didn't say a word. I personally didn't care either way. I didn't focus on what I was eating, but simply on any advice that Master Yoda was giving out. Though Yoda had said I was a Jedi Master, I still felt as if I had much to learn about the Force.
"Talked to Master Obi-Wan, have you?" Yoda asked of me as he poured his soup into four small bowls.
"Yes, actually," I said, a smile coming to my face. "I think we're going to be okay."
"Peace with the Force, he has made," Yoda said. He seemed troubled about something. He scratched his chin. "Not sure I am if right peace it is he has made."
I stared blankly at Yoda. "What?"
Yoda shook his head. " 'Tis important not. Eat up, children! Practice meditating, we will. A few pointers your father could do with," Yoda declared, finishing off with a delightful chuckle.
"Gee, thanks," I muttered, though I knew it to be true. I hated meditating. Sitting still for hours upon hours just didn't appeal to me. It never had. There was so much more to do in life than sitting and thinking about prophecies and the union of the Force.
* * * * *
Later that night, after the children were asleep in their room, Padmé and I took a walk around the palace together. It was just like in the old days, and I felt that familiar thrill make its way up my arm because of the simple action of holding Padmé's hand.
"I talked to Obi-Wan today," I began softly as we stepped into the gardens. I had wanted to make sure we had moderate privacy before I told her.
Padmé's hand tightened briefly. "What happened?" she asked gravely.
I squeezed her hand reassuringly. "Nothing short of a miracle. More or less, he said that there were no hard feelings between us. I couldn't quite believe at the time."
"Oh, Ani, that's wonderful!" Padmé exclaimed. She smiled jovially up at me. "I was worried about him. You forget sometimes, that Obi-Wan and I had a moderate friendship going. He was my husband's fondest mentor and my best friend's lover. I worried about his behavior just as much as you two did."
"And you had the guts to tell him he was a Sith head about it," I said admiringly. "From his severe behavior change, I'm going to assume you did just what you did best: spit fire."
Padmé raised her eyebrows. "So *that's* what I do best, huh?"
I smirked. "Well . . ."
"That's what I thought," Padmé said. She sighed heavily, her thoughts turned elsewhere.
"Did he talk to Sabé as well?" I asked. I had suspected this, and since Padmé hadn't brought anything up, I felt it was my duty to get the information out of her somehow.
"Yes, but he didn't smooth things over," Padmé said. She blew out a quick breath frustratedly. "I feel like it's my fault too."
"How could it be your fault? You have nothing to do with them or their long- lasting affair."
"I encouraged Sabé to marry Bail. In fact, I even suggested it," Padmé said gloomily.
"And if Obi-Wan had any sense, he would have married Sabé before she got a chance to get away," I countered logically.
"That's just not it. Sabé never loved Bail, and she never will. But I found out that she was pregnant, and I knew what would happen. She was too happy to think about the consequences of such a baby."
"And what, might I ask, were the consequences? I wouldn't have gone after Obi-Wan's child if that's what you meant. I wasn't *that* far off." I paused. "Yet."
Padmé smiled. "I'm glad to see that you can joke about Vader finally, and, no, that's not what I meant. Obi-Wan had a bounty over his head higher than practically any other at the time. I'm assuming that was your doing?"
I shut my eyes, dreading what she would say next. "Yes. I wanted him . . . I wanted him to join up with me and the Emperor. I wasn't going to *kill* him, you see, just . . . encourage him."
"I believe you. I don't think you'd ever be able to kill Obi-Wan. No matter how evil you got. Even if you were Darth Vader for eighteen years."
I highly doubted that, but I let Padmé think she was right. I think she might have shut her mind off a little bit from what I'd been through. She was too good to be able to fully understand Vader's hate and lust for revenge. "About the bounty?" I prodded, wanting to change the subject.
"Well, it wasn't exactly hidden from the public that Sabé and Obi-Wan were lovers, was it? And if Sabé was pregnant, everyone would know who the father was."
"And if they could their hands on her or the child they would have used her to get to Obi-Wan," I finished for her. Despite it all, I managed to feel admiration towards my wife for thinking about the future when Sabé hadn't been able to.
"Exactly. I knew Bail was a friend of ours, a loyal one at that, and he knew Obi-Wan well too from the war. I talked to him first, and he agreed to do it. Then I had to talk Sabé into it. She only agreed because she thought Obi-Wan dead and wanted to at least protect the baby."
"And then it turned out that Obi-Wan was still alive."
"Yes. And I can't help but think that if I hadn't encouraged her, she and Obi-Wan would be free to be together now. That's the only thing holding them back. Or rather, *him*. He says that she belongs to another man, and he would never be able to continue anything with her. She's utterly miserable."
"Padmé, that's not your fault," Anakin said, stopping to pull her close. "You *saved* them. If it hadn't been for me, your decision would have been the right one considering. Just think if that child had been able to live. Would you rather the public to have thought it Obi-Wan's or Bail's?"
"I know," Padmé said reluctantly. "I still can't help but feel guilty though. Sabé's heart is breaking more and more each day. But, let's not think about that. Tell me about the children."
"They're amazing," I said, letting her change the subject because the topic she suggested made my heart soar so much. I flashed her a smile, and we continued to walk. "Leia certainly has adjusted well."
"She's four. I don't know what it would have been like if we told her a few years from now."
"Yoda seems like a different person completely around them. I feel as if I had taken something important from him, and that maybe I can make up for it through the children. I don't ever want to cause him heartache again. Yoda was made for teaching children. You should see the way he just lights up when he knows that Luke and Leia are going to visit him."
Padmé stopped walking suddenly, a well of emotions surging over her face. "As soon as possible, we are all relocating to an unknown planet where we will then raise our children and enjoy life as much as possible. I don't want any more of this, Ani, I really don't."
I felt a pang in my heart at the sadness conveyed in her eyes. I wrapped my arms around her waist. "And all I want is to let that happen for you."
Padmé's eyes fell, sensing my apprehension. "But . . .?"
"But," I continued, "we're not working fast enough. The Empire is rebuilding itself, and we're planning a surprise attack on them. They might not know we're coming."
"How are they rebuilding?" Padmé demanded.
"Because Palpatine brainwashed so many people that they actually believe that his ways were best. As much as I hate to say it, Padmé, I don't think our dream will ever come true. We're too tied in with everything that's going on in the Core, that we could never disappear."
Padmé sighed heavily. "I know," she admitted. "But a girl can dream can't she?"
I kissed her forehead tenderly, and we continued on our walk, keeping quiet and enjoying a silence that only two people comfortable with each other can endure. Meanwhile, I felt guilt rise up in my throat. It was true what I said, both of us were too deaply involved with the beginning of this new era in the galaxy, but I vowed to myself at that moment that I would make Padmé's dream come true. Someday, we would live an unobtrusive life where we could raise our children.
On another note, I wanted to get this one out fast, so if you see any spelling or grammer mistakes, just kindly mention it to me and the next thing you know it'll be fixed! Remember to read the two companion pieces to this, available on my bio. (Yes, I'm shamelessly advertising. Sorry if that bothers you.)
* * * * * * * * * *
"Anakin, can I talk to you?"
I turned around very slowly from where I had been walking in a hallway, afraid to see who it really was who had questioned me. I knew I must have appeared shocked when I saw that it really was Obi-Wan. My former master was looking extremely nervous, but his features were more open than I had seen them since before he left for Yoda. I nodded numbly.
"I . . ." Obi-Wan trailed off. "I talked to Padmé."
"She told me."
"Yeah, I figured she would." Obi-Wan rubbed the back of his neck nervously. "I've been thinking a lot. There hasn't been much else to do."
"What did you think about?"
"My life," Obi-Wan said. He smiled bitterly. "Let me rephrase that. My past life."
"And?"
Obi-Wan paused for a long time, his eyes beseeching my own. When he finally did speak, he blurted it out with more relief with each passing word, as if he was happy to finally get it all off his shoulders. "I acted coldly to you. Unnecessarily so. Yoda tried to talk to me. We stayed on Dagobah for an extra day or so, but we didn't accomplish anything. And then I came back, and I lashed out at you, because you were the easiest one to blame. Obviously. But . . . I did some heavy meditating, and I . . . well, I guess you could say I was enlightened by an old friend. Anakin, everything happens for a reason. The Force controls everything to a certain extent. I'm a Jedi, and I should have known this."
"Don't forgive me so easily," I interrupted. "I was supposed to bring balance to the Force, not make it terribly one-sided."
"Don't get me started," Obi-Wan remarked dryly. "I hate pulling you out of the river of self-pity. I didn't forgive you easily. Needless to say, I'm still a little upset."
"An understatement?"
"An extreme understatement," Obi-Wan agreed. "But I can get over it. I talked to Sabé earlier, and we've . . . well, I can't quite say that things are ever going to be the same. But it's for the better. And I've made peace with what happened, Ani. It just took me awhile."
A grin broke out on my face when he called me by my pet nickname. "I don't deserve you," I said; Obi-Wan didn't deny it.
There was nothing left to say after that, and so we parted with tentative smiles. I felt as the gap that had grown between us had been recovered, but we still weren't where we had been a few weeks beforehand.
I went straight to Padmé, wanting to share this with her. I felt elated for once, without the undercurrents of depression and darkness. Everything seemed to be going my way this time. She wasn't there, so I sought her out with the Force; I found her presence along with Sabé's and the childrens' in one of Sabé's visiting rooms.
When I arrived there, I had to buzz the door. Bail didn't trust me enough to give me any security codes in the palace. I didn't mind. Much.
It was Leia who opened the door, and she was smiling at me. Her smiles could change off and on. I recognized this as her quietly happy one. It wasn't like the brilliant ones she could sometimes create, but it would do. I reached down and picked her up. She let herself be slung onto my hip as I entered the room. Padmé and Sabé were sitting at a table, rapidly discussing something. Sabé, for once, didn't have dried tear tracks on her face, and her Force signature wasn't dark and clouded. Or, at least, not as dark and clouded as it had been. Luke was watching the holonews. He had become enraptured by the pleasure he'd never been given throughout his life. He looked up to give me a smile. Luke's smiles were always the same. Lopsided and boyish. Padmé informed me that he was going to be a real pill, that he took after me in many ways.
"Sorry to interrupt," I said politely as Padmé and Sabé turned to look at me. I decided that what I had to say could wait. "Do you want me to take the children?"
"Oh, would you?" Sabé asked, relieved. "I would have Irshaad take them, but he insists that Luke is none of his business. The children don't want to be seperated."
"That's understandable. Do you guys want to go see Yoda?" I asked. looked up once more and leapt off his feet. "Will we get to learn Jedi tricks?" he asked eagerly. The children had taken quite a liking to the old, green Jedi Master, and Yoda seemed to be just as taken with them.
"Don't you always?" I replied. Leia squeezed my shoulder softly to let me know she was pleased. I smiled and winked at Padmé as I took the children out of the room, Luke's tiny had gathered up in my own.
"What did you guys do today?" I asked as we began our journey to the room where Yoda was staying. I had discovered that talking to four-year-olds was one of the most delightful pastimes in the galaxy. Especially my little four-year-olds. Where Leia was intelligent and mature, Luke was naive and innocent in his standard boyish way. They were both charming in completely opposite ways.
"Mo--I mean, my old mother told Irshaad that he wasn't welcome in the castle anymore," Leia said, joy obvious in her voice and features.
"I'll bet you're extremely disappointed," I said dryly. To Luke, "And what about you? Did you sit in front of the holo all day again?"
"No. Mother said that it isn't healthy," Luke said, sounding every bit as if he disagreed with Padmé's notions. "Leia and I played a game."
"What game was it?"
"We pretended like we were Jedi, Daddy," Leia said eagerly. I noticed that she had taken to calling me 'Daddy' before calling Padmé 'Mother'. I knew that she only did as much because she hadn't been with Bail very much during her life, and that she certainly didn't love him in the way she loved Sabé. I just hoped Padmé realized this and didn't take it too much to heart.
"You're not too far off the mark," I told them.
"I know we *are* Jedi," Leia said, "but we pretended like we were bigger Jedi. Like you and Yoda."
"And Obi-Wan," Luke added.
Leia wrinkled her nose. "I don't like him."
"Why ever not?" I asked, curious.
"He made my mommy cry," Leia said matter-of-factly. "And he made me cry. He's very . . . discouraging."
"He didn't make me or my mommy and daddy cry," Luke boasted. "He showed me stuff about space."
"Well maybe he doesn't like . . . Aunt Sabé then," Leia said, her voice faltering at the name she had been instructed to call Sabé. She still felt awkward saying it, and a lot of the time she forgot to. But she was coping as well as could be expected.
"No, Leia," I reassured her, "I think he likes your aunt Sabé very well."
"Then why did he make her cry?" Leia asked softly, her eyes looking troubled as she stared at me.
"Because sometimes that's what happens when you love somebody. I can't tell you the countless times I've made your mother cry."
Leia looked even more troubled by this, but whatever she would have said was forgotten as we arrived at Yoda's door that moment. The old Jedi Master greeted us cheerfully and invited us in for some stew he was brewing. He said it was his very own concation from when he was on Dagobah. Luke was appalled by it, but he was too polite to say anything to the poor creature. That was one thing to thank Beru for. She had brought the boy up right so far. Leia ate it, but didn't say a word. I personally didn't care either way. I didn't focus on what I was eating, but simply on any advice that Master Yoda was giving out. Though Yoda had said I was a Jedi Master, I still felt as if I had much to learn about the Force.
"Talked to Master Obi-Wan, have you?" Yoda asked of me as he poured his soup into four small bowls.
"Yes, actually," I said, a smile coming to my face. "I think we're going to be okay."
"Peace with the Force, he has made," Yoda said. He seemed troubled about something. He scratched his chin. "Not sure I am if right peace it is he has made."
I stared blankly at Yoda. "What?"
Yoda shook his head. " 'Tis important not. Eat up, children! Practice meditating, we will. A few pointers your father could do with," Yoda declared, finishing off with a delightful chuckle.
"Gee, thanks," I muttered, though I knew it to be true. I hated meditating. Sitting still for hours upon hours just didn't appeal to me. It never had. There was so much more to do in life than sitting and thinking about prophecies and the union of the Force.
* * * * *
Later that night, after the children were asleep in their room, Padmé and I took a walk around the palace together. It was just like in the old days, and I felt that familiar thrill make its way up my arm because of the simple action of holding Padmé's hand.
"I talked to Obi-Wan today," I began softly as we stepped into the gardens. I had wanted to make sure we had moderate privacy before I told her.
Padmé's hand tightened briefly. "What happened?" she asked gravely.
I squeezed her hand reassuringly. "Nothing short of a miracle. More or less, he said that there were no hard feelings between us. I couldn't quite believe at the time."
"Oh, Ani, that's wonderful!" Padmé exclaimed. She smiled jovially up at me. "I was worried about him. You forget sometimes, that Obi-Wan and I had a moderate friendship going. He was my husband's fondest mentor and my best friend's lover. I worried about his behavior just as much as you two did."
"And you had the guts to tell him he was a Sith head about it," I said admiringly. "From his severe behavior change, I'm going to assume you did just what you did best: spit fire."
Padmé raised her eyebrows. "So *that's* what I do best, huh?"
I smirked. "Well . . ."
"That's what I thought," Padmé said. She sighed heavily, her thoughts turned elsewhere.
"Did he talk to Sabé as well?" I asked. I had suspected this, and since Padmé hadn't brought anything up, I felt it was my duty to get the information out of her somehow.
"Yes, but he didn't smooth things over," Padmé said. She blew out a quick breath frustratedly. "I feel like it's my fault too."
"How could it be your fault? You have nothing to do with them or their long- lasting affair."
"I encouraged Sabé to marry Bail. In fact, I even suggested it," Padmé said gloomily.
"And if Obi-Wan had any sense, he would have married Sabé before she got a chance to get away," I countered logically.
"That's just not it. Sabé never loved Bail, and she never will. But I found out that she was pregnant, and I knew what would happen. She was too happy to think about the consequences of such a baby."
"And what, might I ask, were the consequences? I wouldn't have gone after Obi-Wan's child if that's what you meant. I wasn't *that* far off." I paused. "Yet."
Padmé smiled. "I'm glad to see that you can joke about Vader finally, and, no, that's not what I meant. Obi-Wan had a bounty over his head higher than practically any other at the time. I'm assuming that was your doing?"
I shut my eyes, dreading what she would say next. "Yes. I wanted him . . . I wanted him to join up with me and the Emperor. I wasn't going to *kill* him, you see, just . . . encourage him."
"I believe you. I don't think you'd ever be able to kill Obi-Wan. No matter how evil you got. Even if you were Darth Vader for eighteen years."
I highly doubted that, but I let Padmé think she was right. I think she might have shut her mind off a little bit from what I'd been through. She was too good to be able to fully understand Vader's hate and lust for revenge. "About the bounty?" I prodded, wanting to change the subject.
"Well, it wasn't exactly hidden from the public that Sabé and Obi-Wan were lovers, was it? And if Sabé was pregnant, everyone would know who the father was."
"And if they could their hands on her or the child they would have used her to get to Obi-Wan," I finished for her. Despite it all, I managed to feel admiration towards my wife for thinking about the future when Sabé hadn't been able to.
"Exactly. I knew Bail was a friend of ours, a loyal one at that, and he knew Obi-Wan well too from the war. I talked to him first, and he agreed to do it. Then I had to talk Sabé into it. She only agreed because she thought Obi-Wan dead and wanted to at least protect the baby."
"And then it turned out that Obi-Wan was still alive."
"Yes. And I can't help but think that if I hadn't encouraged her, she and Obi-Wan would be free to be together now. That's the only thing holding them back. Or rather, *him*. He says that she belongs to another man, and he would never be able to continue anything with her. She's utterly miserable."
"Padmé, that's not your fault," Anakin said, stopping to pull her close. "You *saved* them. If it hadn't been for me, your decision would have been the right one considering. Just think if that child had been able to live. Would you rather the public to have thought it Obi-Wan's or Bail's?"
"I know," Padmé said reluctantly. "I still can't help but feel guilty though. Sabé's heart is breaking more and more each day. But, let's not think about that. Tell me about the children."
"They're amazing," I said, letting her change the subject because the topic she suggested made my heart soar so much. I flashed her a smile, and we continued to walk. "Leia certainly has adjusted well."
"She's four. I don't know what it would have been like if we told her a few years from now."
"Yoda seems like a different person completely around them. I feel as if I had taken something important from him, and that maybe I can make up for it through the children. I don't ever want to cause him heartache again. Yoda was made for teaching children. You should see the way he just lights up when he knows that Luke and Leia are going to visit him."
Padmé stopped walking suddenly, a well of emotions surging over her face. "As soon as possible, we are all relocating to an unknown planet where we will then raise our children and enjoy life as much as possible. I don't want any more of this, Ani, I really don't."
I felt a pang in my heart at the sadness conveyed in her eyes. I wrapped my arms around her waist. "And all I want is to let that happen for you."
Padmé's eyes fell, sensing my apprehension. "But . . .?"
"But," I continued, "we're not working fast enough. The Empire is rebuilding itself, and we're planning a surprise attack on them. They might not know we're coming."
"How are they rebuilding?" Padmé demanded.
"Because Palpatine brainwashed so many people that they actually believe that his ways were best. As much as I hate to say it, Padmé, I don't think our dream will ever come true. We're too tied in with everything that's going on in the Core, that we could never disappear."
Padmé sighed heavily. "I know," she admitted. "But a girl can dream can't she?"
I kissed her forehead tenderly, and we continued on our walk, keeping quiet and enjoying a silence that only two people comfortable with each other can endure. Meanwhile, I felt guilt rise up in my throat. It was true what I said, both of us were too deaply involved with the beginning of this new era in the galaxy, but I vowed to myself at that moment that I would make Padmé's dream come true. Someday, we would live an unobtrusive life where we could raise our children.