Disclaimer: Metal Gear Solid NOR Space Ghost NOR FFX, NOR KoF, NOR
anything else are my creations. Except for Myself (Lulu Snake), Dave, C.M.
Crocker, Orlando Bloom (*drools all over keyboard* ^o^; ), Saddam Hussein
(That fucking Bastard.), or any Bands, ( I LUV U X-JAPAN! XOXO). Those are
real people and crap. Don't rip them off from me in a direct sense, or I'll
have Big Boss and Solidus hurt you. And when I say 'Direct Sense', I mean
using them the same way I did, or directly copying MY concept. 'Cause if
that happened, Legs will be broken and Horseheads will be in beds. Ask my
permission first!!! If you ask nicely, I'll gladly let you BORROW the
concept...- Lulu "Snake" Leonhart.
---------------
Lulu *appears, wearing a pair of red cammoflauge pants, red tank top and a Santa hat* Welcome to the fifth installment of my fic. It's the Christmas special!
Snake *is dressed like Santa* Blah, blah blah. Oh, Raiden left the show. He said it was time he moved on to 'other pastures'. Whatever that means....
Lulu Sniper also moved back to Liquid's show, seeing as how I know Liquid couldn't survive with the Beavis and Butthead of Metal Gear Solid on his own. I have taken up Snipers part and the proud man to take over Raiden's part is.......
Hwoarang I hate my life.....
Snake Shut up, Elf...
Hwoarang You know, I could tell Jecht that your the one who keeps eating his chips.
Snake *tosses an empty Pringles can aside and waits for the sound of a drop. It doesn't come, instead, there is a male scream then the sound of a sword being drawn* Oh, crap....
Jecht MY EYE!!! You ate my chips!!! *Attepmts to pounce Snake, but fails. He slams into the wall behind Hwoarang*
Lulu *sweatdrops* Anything on this Island belongs to me, because I own it, you two Lumps! Who the fuck pays you!?
Jecht and Snake DAVE!!
Lulu He hands you the check every two weeks, you dumbasses! I have all the power over this Island because my Dad is Big Boss!!!
Snake *screams high pitched and womanly* Your my sister!?
Lulu Yes, I am!!! *holds out a paper with Snakes contract* And your ass legally belongs to me!!! *sweatdrops* Now, let's get to the show before I really lose my Birthday Cool....
Chapter Five - Chemical Warfare
Narrator In the Island Fortress of Lulu....
Snake Why's it HER Island Fortress!?
Liquid It's not fair! Dad likes her more than us! * pouts*
Snake Dad bought her the whole KISS Action figure collection for Christmas.
Liquid I wanted the Ramones to perform for OUR birthday.... buut nooooo..... Joey Ramone had to go and DIE!!!!
Snake *sweatdrops* We could get the Dead Kennedys.....
Liquid I WANT THE RAMONES!!!!
Dave *entered a while ago, now just watches the two men argue* Hmmmm.... Dead Kennedys? The Ramones!? Waitaminute.....!!!! *pulls out a lap top and plugs it into the nearest phone jack, which is next to Solid Snake*
Snake The Ramones are....!? *looks down at Dave* What are you doing?
Dave Typing a report?
Liquid LIES!
Dave ......
Lulu *enters* I never thought I'd see Liquid and Solid together. How about that? Plotting another Kegger while I'm on vacation?
Liquid Nahh....
Lulu Amazing...
Liquid Your crazy, Lulu? How could you ever think up such a thing?
Solid ....runs in the fucking family. Am I the only normal one?
Lulu *points out the window* LOOK! IT'S MERYL SKYDIVING IN A CLOWN SUIT AND SINGING 'VIVA LAS VEGAS'!!!!
Solid *runs to the window* REALLY!?
Liquid Normal my ass. Dammit! Where's that Pizza I ordered!?
Lulu Everyone from South Town moved to this island. The only Pizza place here is in King's Island Illusion. You have to give her a little more credit, Liquid.
Solid Where...... where's Meryl at!? *continues to look*
Otacon *looks out the window* Oooo! That cloud looks like Rei Ayanami!!!
Solid Lemme see yer glasses, Hal! *swipes the glasses and puts them on, trying to find Meryl still*
Lulu Ummm.... Solid.... errr....
Solid I'm Dave!
Dave No, I'm Dave!
Solid I thought you changed your name to avoid this bull!
Lulu .....SHUT UP SOLID!!! *hears the door bell ring, then the door opens, showing a guy in a leather jacket*
Guy Who ordered the Keg and 12 Pizzas?
Lulu WHAT!?
Liquid, Mantis and Ocelot WE DID!
Xiaoyu *pops up infront of the window Solid is staring out of and waves*
Solid Lulu! Meryl's not out there!
Lulu Good job, Captain Ahab!!! *claps and sweatdrops*
Otacon *screams and hides behind Dave and Lulu*
Lulu Nandesho Otakonu-san?
Otacon Oro..... oro...!
Lulu Oro...... oro.....?
Otacon *points to a shadow towering over them and screams, pees his pants, then faints*
Lulu Oh, Geez..... Ryuji... I told you he scares easily....
Yamazaki Err...sorry. Well, as the representative of the population of South Town....
Dave Oh, Lord. Here it comes.
Yamazaki ...I'd like to thank you. This is a gift for you. *pulls out a rather large crate into the house*
Lulu I..... I don't trust you with crates. Open it, Liquid and Solid....
Liquid and Solid EXCUSE ME!?
Dave It's ticking.....
Lulu A bomb?
Yamazaki In the name of Orochi! *busts the crate open and reveals a Hello Kitty Alarm clock and several other items*
Lulu You remembered my birthday! /\_________________________/\
Dave Unlike two men I know....
Liquid and Solid *just stand there blankly*
Lulu Davey... there's Pocky in here!
Dave *blink-blink*
Otacon *clears his throat* Pocky is a Japanese Candy Coated snack stick. The most popular company brand is Glico.
Solid Thanks for clearing that up.
Dave Your such an Otaku, Hal.
Otacon I'm just an Otaku. Lulu's the Super Otaku. ^.^;
Dave Lulu's just Super.
Lulu *blows on the nails on her right hand and rubs them on the cloth of her shirt* I know it.
Liquid And I thought I had a big ego.
Solid Dave likes to boost Lulu higher than she actually is.
Dave I don't know how she puts up with you two.
Liquid She younger.
Lulu *kicks Liquid in the head* Baka, Rikuidu-san!! BAKA!!
Liquid Busu! Busu! *cowers*
Otacon Samurai X all over again.
Solid *points at Liquid and laughs* Coward!
Lulu Soridu Jya! RAWR!
Solid *screams like a woman and hides behind his desk*
Lulu BAKA!!!! BAKA DA NE!! *dives after Solid and then the sounds of ass beating begins*
Dave *makes several faces* Ouch.... I don't think I want to anger Lulu.... concidering the fact that.....
Yamazaki I didn't know humans could bend like that..... I think Solid deserves a spot in the Guinness Book of World Records.
Dave She's Orochi?
Yamazaki The three of them are..... but Solidus.... I don't think so...
Liquid Solidus is a loser!!!
Solidus Say that to my face, Little Boy!
Liquid AHHHHHH!!!! *cowers behind Dave*
Dave Psht... Solidus wouldn't hurt me.
Solidus Not a chance...
Lulu *peeks from behind Solid's desk* Big Brother?
Solid Ugh.... I'm a human Pretzel. *coughs then drops to the floor, knocked out for the next few hours*
Solidus You keeping Dumb and Dumber in line?
Lulu It's a dirty Job, but someones gotta do it.
Solidus Here's your gift, it's not much, but it'll have to do.... *hands Lulu a box*
Lulu *opens* Ooo... Lord of the Rings movie and a Legolas action figure. /\___________________/\ How'd you guess I was wanting that figure?
Solidus Dumb Luck.... *smirks at Dave*
Dave I knew you couldn't get Orlando Bloom to come to this Island....
Solidus God forbid I give you competition...
Dave Funny. Ha ha ha. Your not alone in the "I hate Dave" Department. Get in line...
Hwoarang Yamazaki doesn't hate you.....
Yamazaki Nah. Dave's cool. A bit on the weak side...
Dave Well excuse me for not.... being.... all... OROCHI-ISH!!!
Solidus Oh, so now we're gonna scream about the Orochi Blood....
Lulu Solidus... we know your jealous...
Solidus I am not!
Lulu Kiss my ass... you so are too...
Hwoarang What's the matter? Don't like not having flashy flames to throw around and burn peoples hair off with..?
Lulu *screams* I TOLD YOU I WAS SORRY AND IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!!! *pulls out her mallet and readies to hit the cowering Korean, but she is stopped when she sees a Cobra* Oooo.... snakey-wakey is so cute! *throws the mallet behind the desk where Solid is and dive tackles the Cobra*
Solid P.....Pa....pain... *starts to get up, but he is hit by the mallet and is out like a light once more* Ughh...
Hwoarang Should I.... take him to the Hospital?
Lulu Uhhh..... what Hospital?
Hwoarang Oh, right. Every cure used on this Island has to deal with Death, Leeches, Smoking blunts or taking acid.
Solidus Oooo! Ooo! Can I kill him, Lulu!?
Lulu RAWR! NO! YOUR PRINCESS HATH SPOKEN!!!
Everybody but Solid ZOLTAN....! *hold their hands up above their heads like 'Z's*
Lulu *pops a few unmarked pills in Solid's mouth and snickers*
Solidus What did you give him?
Lulu Ecstacy. *snickers*
Hwoarang He's gonna be worse than those Ravers.
Liquid Ravers are cool.
Sniper No they're not. *rubs her eyes*
Yamazaki Hung over?
Sniper Yep....
Yamazaki Vodka?
Sniper No. Why in the name of God does everyone think I'm Russian? I'm from Iraq.
Lulu Saddam..... hmmm...
Sniper I did not back him. My parents were killed by him.
Lulu Ya know.... we could take my new General Lee and go to Iraq and.... raise Hell?
Yamazaki Like Bush wants, but is afraid to do?
Dave *cracks knuckles* They're overdue for a change over there. I'm all for making Iraq a Democracy...
Doorbell rings
Liquid, Ocelot and Mantis DOORBELL!! WHOOHOO!! *all dive for the door, but fall dangerously short*
Lulu *walks over and opens the door*
Some random Iraqi guy Letter for one Lulu Snake?
Lulu *swipes it and hands the Iraqi guy a few hundreds* Go buy yourself..... some stuff... *slams the door shut and looks at the letter*
Liquid Ooo.... what's that?
Lulu None of your business..... butthole...
Mantis I'll take your mind! I am Psycho Mantis!
Lulu Go eat some of my birthday cake, Slim. You look like an Ethiopian...
Mantis That's sooooo not cool to say! But I'll hold back my Mind Taking on you until tomorrow, hoe!
Lulu *mallets Mantis one handed while opening the letter* (I'm just gifted like that.... ^O~; )
Liquid It's written in some funky writing....
Lulu Iraqi, you retard...
Sniper You can read that?
Lulu I can do anything I want, remember?
Everyone but Solid Riiiiight.
Lulu Dear Lulu Snake, blah blah blah..... I love the way you run your Island..... blah blah blah.... I'm retiring and I want you to take over for me.... etc, etc.....
Liquid You..... you read good!
Lulu Ruby Heart, take down a letter....
Ruby Heart Reow? *sits at a typewriter*
Lulu Dear Saddam, I love how your my biggest fan, but you see, I couldn't possibly run a country I actually have to reform to make into a Democracy. Maybe you should have a talk with President Bush before you go deciding whom you'll be giving your country to. Yours Truly, Lulu Snake. Okay, now read it back to me, Ruby...
Ruby Meow?
Lulu Great. Now send that for me.
Liquid You can understand a cat?
Solid *blinks and then begins to freak out, grabbing Hwoarang and giving him a hug* I love you man...
Hwoarang Oh, God! Lulu, maybe the E wasn't a good idea! Now Solid is acting like a homo!
Lulu Home Surgery, you idiot....
Yamazaki Huh?
Lulu One of Hwoarang's sig moves....
Hwoarang *performs 'Home Surgery' on Solid and sends him into a wall*
Stan Oh my god, they killed Solid Snake!
Kyle You bastards!
Cartman Screw you guys, I'm going home...
Stan You know, I learned something today.....
Lulu Yeah, that Drugs suck...
Kyle Yeah.... and Hwoarang kicks ass!
Hwoarang *plays 'Kick the Baby' with Kyle's brother* Kick the Baby! *kicks him through a glass window*
Lulu .;;; Goddamnit!
Hwoarang Ummm... I wanna go home! End the show!
Lulu Okay, the show is over! .;;;
Transmission Interrupted
Kazuya The pain! Stop with the hurting, nice lady! *mutters a bunch of gibberish as he gets repeatedly thwaped with a frying pan by Jun*
Jun This is for passing on that horrid condition to our son! This one is for your father being a jerk! This is for abandoning me! This is for your father unleashing the Orge, therefore killing me!
Kazuya *turns into a Woody Allen type* Listen.... it's just that... well, I didn't mean.... what I mean to say.... I never meant to let my Dad release that..... bad bad thing.... into the World...
Jun *beats on Kazuya more, much more angry now than ever*
Paul *walks in like John Wayne* What's with.... all the commotion in here? I'm.... tryin' ta sleep....!
Kazuya *still Woody Allen* Ya see, Paul.... I mean.... Jun here is being very mean to me...
Paul What's the matter..... Little Lady?
Jun You! Stop bringing your Chinese whores into the house!
Kazuya See? She's all upset...
Paul I don't have any.... Chinese Whores....
*Enter Brock from Pokemon, as Sylvester Stallone*
Brock What's with the noise? I'm in there trying to court a lovely lady...
Jun So it's you with the whores!
Kazuya See? It's not.... what I mean to say is....
Paul It's.... not me bringing in the whores, Pardner....
Brock Why do I have to share a place with you guys anyhow?
Paul Then why don't you..... move out?
Kazuya Yeah... it's like..... if you don't want to stay with me and my Wife and Paul here.... then, what I mean....
Jun *throws the frying pan at Kazuya* SHUT UP!!!
*Enter Xiaoyu and Jin as Jesse and James from Team Rocket*
Jin Prepare for trouble!
Xaioyu Make it double!
Jin To protect the world from devestation!
Xiaoyu To unite all peoples within our Nation!
Jin To denounce the evils of Truth and Love!
Xiaoyu To extend our reach to the Stars above!
Jin Jin!
Xiaoyu Xaioyu!
Jin Team Rocket blasting off at the speed of light!
Xaioyu Surrender now or prepare to fight!
Meowth *as Chris Rock* Meowth, that's right suckas!!!
Paul Oh no..... it's.... *lifts his head* Team Rocket....
Transmission Restored
Narrator Next time on Metal Gear Coast to Coast!!!
Lulu The next time Paul decides to take my Hummer anywhere, someone responsible had better be with him!!
Paul *in a full body cast* I'm.... sorry...
Lulu *punches his arm* Asshole!!!
Paul *screams*
Lulu Dave, where were you when Paul decided to do this?
Dave You know exactly where I was..... I was buying you Midol....
Lulu Oh, I forgot....
---------------
Lulu *appears, wearing a pair of red cammoflauge pants, red tank top and a Santa hat* Welcome to the fifth installment of my fic. It's the Christmas special!
Snake *is dressed like Santa* Blah, blah blah. Oh, Raiden left the show. He said it was time he moved on to 'other pastures'. Whatever that means....
Lulu Sniper also moved back to Liquid's show, seeing as how I know Liquid couldn't survive with the Beavis and Butthead of Metal Gear Solid on his own. I have taken up Snipers part and the proud man to take over Raiden's part is.......
Hwoarang I hate my life.....
Snake Shut up, Elf...
Hwoarang You know, I could tell Jecht that your the one who keeps eating his chips.
Snake *tosses an empty Pringles can aside and waits for the sound of a drop. It doesn't come, instead, there is a male scream then the sound of a sword being drawn* Oh, crap....
Jecht MY EYE!!! You ate my chips!!! *Attepmts to pounce Snake, but fails. He slams into the wall behind Hwoarang*
Lulu *sweatdrops* Anything on this Island belongs to me, because I own it, you two Lumps! Who the fuck pays you!?
Jecht and Snake DAVE!!
Lulu He hands you the check every two weeks, you dumbasses! I have all the power over this Island because my Dad is Big Boss!!!
Snake *screams high pitched and womanly* Your my sister!?
Lulu Yes, I am!!! *holds out a paper with Snakes contract* And your ass legally belongs to me!!! *sweatdrops* Now, let's get to the show before I really lose my Birthday Cool....
Chapter Five - Chemical Warfare
Narrator In the Island Fortress of Lulu....
Snake Why's it HER Island Fortress!?
Liquid It's not fair! Dad likes her more than us! * pouts*
Snake Dad bought her the whole KISS Action figure collection for Christmas.
Liquid I wanted the Ramones to perform for OUR birthday.... buut nooooo..... Joey Ramone had to go and DIE!!!!
Snake *sweatdrops* We could get the Dead Kennedys.....
Liquid I WANT THE RAMONES!!!!
Dave *entered a while ago, now just watches the two men argue* Hmmmm.... Dead Kennedys? The Ramones!? Waitaminute.....!!!! *pulls out a lap top and plugs it into the nearest phone jack, which is next to Solid Snake*
Snake The Ramones are....!? *looks down at Dave* What are you doing?
Dave Typing a report?
Liquid LIES!
Dave ......
Lulu *enters* I never thought I'd see Liquid and Solid together. How about that? Plotting another Kegger while I'm on vacation?
Liquid Nahh....
Lulu Amazing...
Liquid Your crazy, Lulu? How could you ever think up such a thing?
Solid ....runs in the fucking family. Am I the only normal one?
Lulu *points out the window* LOOK! IT'S MERYL SKYDIVING IN A CLOWN SUIT AND SINGING 'VIVA LAS VEGAS'!!!!
Solid *runs to the window* REALLY!?
Liquid Normal my ass. Dammit! Where's that Pizza I ordered!?
Lulu Everyone from South Town moved to this island. The only Pizza place here is in King's Island Illusion. You have to give her a little more credit, Liquid.
Solid Where...... where's Meryl at!? *continues to look*
Otacon *looks out the window* Oooo! That cloud looks like Rei Ayanami!!!
Solid Lemme see yer glasses, Hal! *swipes the glasses and puts them on, trying to find Meryl still*
Lulu Ummm.... Solid.... errr....
Solid I'm Dave!
Dave No, I'm Dave!
Solid I thought you changed your name to avoid this bull!
Lulu .....SHUT UP SOLID!!! *hears the door bell ring, then the door opens, showing a guy in a leather jacket*
Guy Who ordered the Keg and 12 Pizzas?
Lulu WHAT!?
Liquid, Mantis and Ocelot WE DID!
Xiaoyu *pops up infront of the window Solid is staring out of and waves*
Solid Lulu! Meryl's not out there!
Lulu Good job, Captain Ahab!!! *claps and sweatdrops*
Otacon *screams and hides behind Dave and Lulu*
Lulu Nandesho Otakonu-san?
Otacon Oro..... oro...!
Lulu Oro...... oro.....?
Otacon *points to a shadow towering over them and screams, pees his pants, then faints*
Lulu Oh, Geez..... Ryuji... I told you he scares easily....
Yamazaki Err...sorry. Well, as the representative of the population of South Town....
Dave Oh, Lord. Here it comes.
Yamazaki ...I'd like to thank you. This is a gift for you. *pulls out a rather large crate into the house*
Lulu I..... I don't trust you with crates. Open it, Liquid and Solid....
Liquid and Solid EXCUSE ME!?
Dave It's ticking.....
Lulu A bomb?
Yamazaki In the name of Orochi! *busts the crate open and reveals a Hello Kitty Alarm clock and several other items*
Lulu You remembered my birthday! /\_________________________/\
Dave Unlike two men I know....
Liquid and Solid *just stand there blankly*
Lulu Davey... there's Pocky in here!
Dave *blink-blink*
Otacon *clears his throat* Pocky is a Japanese Candy Coated snack stick. The most popular company brand is Glico.
Solid Thanks for clearing that up.
Dave Your such an Otaku, Hal.
Otacon I'm just an Otaku. Lulu's the Super Otaku. ^.^;
Dave Lulu's just Super.
Lulu *blows on the nails on her right hand and rubs them on the cloth of her shirt* I know it.
Liquid And I thought I had a big ego.
Solid Dave likes to boost Lulu higher than she actually is.
Dave I don't know how she puts up with you two.
Liquid She younger.
Lulu *kicks Liquid in the head* Baka, Rikuidu-san!! BAKA!!
Liquid Busu! Busu! *cowers*
Otacon Samurai X all over again.
Solid *points at Liquid and laughs* Coward!
Lulu Soridu Jya! RAWR!
Solid *screams like a woman and hides behind his desk*
Lulu BAKA!!!! BAKA DA NE!! *dives after Solid and then the sounds of ass beating begins*
Dave *makes several faces* Ouch.... I don't think I want to anger Lulu.... concidering the fact that.....
Yamazaki I didn't know humans could bend like that..... I think Solid deserves a spot in the Guinness Book of World Records.
Dave She's Orochi?
Yamazaki The three of them are..... but Solidus.... I don't think so...
Liquid Solidus is a loser!!!
Solidus Say that to my face, Little Boy!
Liquid AHHHHHH!!!! *cowers behind Dave*
Dave Psht... Solidus wouldn't hurt me.
Solidus Not a chance...
Lulu *peeks from behind Solid's desk* Big Brother?
Solid Ugh.... I'm a human Pretzel. *coughs then drops to the floor, knocked out for the next few hours*
Solidus You keeping Dumb and Dumber in line?
Lulu It's a dirty Job, but someones gotta do it.
Solidus Here's your gift, it's not much, but it'll have to do.... *hands Lulu a box*
Lulu *opens* Ooo... Lord of the Rings movie and a Legolas action figure. /\___________________/\ How'd you guess I was wanting that figure?
Solidus Dumb Luck.... *smirks at Dave*
Dave I knew you couldn't get Orlando Bloom to come to this Island....
Solidus God forbid I give you competition...
Dave Funny. Ha ha ha. Your not alone in the "I hate Dave" Department. Get in line...
Hwoarang Yamazaki doesn't hate you.....
Yamazaki Nah. Dave's cool. A bit on the weak side...
Dave Well excuse me for not.... being.... all... OROCHI-ISH!!!
Solidus Oh, so now we're gonna scream about the Orochi Blood....
Lulu Solidus... we know your jealous...
Solidus I am not!
Lulu Kiss my ass... you so are too...
Hwoarang What's the matter? Don't like not having flashy flames to throw around and burn peoples hair off with..?
Lulu *screams* I TOLD YOU I WAS SORRY AND IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!!! *pulls out her mallet and readies to hit the cowering Korean, but she is stopped when she sees a Cobra* Oooo.... snakey-wakey is so cute! *throws the mallet behind the desk where Solid is and dive tackles the Cobra*
Solid P.....Pa....pain... *starts to get up, but he is hit by the mallet and is out like a light once more* Ughh...
Hwoarang Should I.... take him to the Hospital?
Lulu Uhhh..... what Hospital?
Hwoarang Oh, right. Every cure used on this Island has to deal with Death, Leeches, Smoking blunts or taking acid.
Solidus Oooo! Ooo! Can I kill him, Lulu!?
Lulu RAWR! NO! YOUR PRINCESS HATH SPOKEN!!!
Everybody but Solid ZOLTAN....! *hold their hands up above their heads like 'Z's*
Lulu *pops a few unmarked pills in Solid's mouth and snickers*
Solidus What did you give him?
Lulu Ecstacy. *snickers*
Hwoarang He's gonna be worse than those Ravers.
Liquid Ravers are cool.
Sniper No they're not. *rubs her eyes*
Yamazaki Hung over?
Sniper Yep....
Yamazaki Vodka?
Sniper No. Why in the name of God does everyone think I'm Russian? I'm from Iraq.
Lulu Saddam..... hmmm...
Sniper I did not back him. My parents were killed by him.
Lulu Ya know.... we could take my new General Lee and go to Iraq and.... raise Hell?
Yamazaki Like Bush wants, but is afraid to do?
Dave *cracks knuckles* They're overdue for a change over there. I'm all for making Iraq a Democracy...
Doorbell rings
Liquid, Ocelot and Mantis DOORBELL!! WHOOHOO!! *all dive for the door, but fall dangerously short*
Lulu *walks over and opens the door*
Some random Iraqi guy Letter for one Lulu Snake?
Lulu *swipes it and hands the Iraqi guy a few hundreds* Go buy yourself..... some stuff... *slams the door shut and looks at the letter*
Liquid Ooo.... what's that?
Lulu None of your business..... butthole...
Mantis I'll take your mind! I am Psycho Mantis!
Lulu Go eat some of my birthday cake, Slim. You look like an Ethiopian...
Mantis That's sooooo not cool to say! But I'll hold back my Mind Taking on you until tomorrow, hoe!
Lulu *mallets Mantis one handed while opening the letter* (I'm just gifted like that.... ^O~; )
Liquid It's written in some funky writing....
Lulu Iraqi, you retard...
Sniper You can read that?
Lulu I can do anything I want, remember?
Everyone but Solid Riiiiight.
Lulu Dear Lulu Snake, blah blah blah..... I love the way you run your Island..... blah blah blah.... I'm retiring and I want you to take over for me.... etc, etc.....
Liquid You..... you read good!
Lulu Ruby Heart, take down a letter....
Ruby Heart Reow? *sits at a typewriter*
Lulu Dear Saddam, I love how your my biggest fan, but you see, I couldn't possibly run a country I actually have to reform to make into a Democracy. Maybe you should have a talk with President Bush before you go deciding whom you'll be giving your country to. Yours Truly, Lulu Snake. Okay, now read it back to me, Ruby...
Ruby Meow?
Lulu Great. Now send that for me.
Liquid You can understand a cat?
Solid *blinks and then begins to freak out, grabbing Hwoarang and giving him a hug* I love you man...
Hwoarang Oh, God! Lulu, maybe the E wasn't a good idea! Now Solid is acting like a homo!
Lulu Home Surgery, you idiot....
Yamazaki Huh?
Lulu One of Hwoarang's sig moves....
Hwoarang *performs 'Home Surgery' on Solid and sends him into a wall*
Stan Oh my god, they killed Solid Snake!
Kyle You bastards!
Cartman Screw you guys, I'm going home...
Stan You know, I learned something today.....
Lulu Yeah, that Drugs suck...
Kyle Yeah.... and Hwoarang kicks ass!
Hwoarang *plays 'Kick the Baby' with Kyle's brother* Kick the Baby! *kicks him through a glass window*
Lulu .;;; Goddamnit!
Hwoarang Ummm... I wanna go home! End the show!
Lulu Okay, the show is over! .;;;
Transmission Interrupted
Kazuya The pain! Stop with the hurting, nice lady! *mutters a bunch of gibberish as he gets repeatedly thwaped with a frying pan by Jun*
Jun This is for passing on that horrid condition to our son! This one is for your father being a jerk! This is for abandoning me! This is for your father unleashing the Orge, therefore killing me!
Kazuya *turns into a Woody Allen type* Listen.... it's just that... well, I didn't mean.... what I mean to say.... I never meant to let my Dad release that..... bad bad thing.... into the World...
Jun *beats on Kazuya more, much more angry now than ever*
Paul *walks in like John Wayne* What's with.... all the commotion in here? I'm.... tryin' ta sleep....!
Kazuya *still Woody Allen* Ya see, Paul.... I mean.... Jun here is being very mean to me...
Paul What's the matter..... Little Lady?
Jun You! Stop bringing your Chinese whores into the house!
Kazuya See? She's all upset...
Paul I don't have any.... Chinese Whores....
*Enter Brock from Pokemon, as Sylvester Stallone*
Brock What's with the noise? I'm in there trying to court a lovely lady...
Jun So it's you with the whores!
Kazuya See? It's not.... what I mean to say is....
Paul It's.... not me bringing in the whores, Pardner....
Brock Why do I have to share a place with you guys anyhow?
Paul Then why don't you..... move out?
Kazuya Yeah... it's like..... if you don't want to stay with me and my Wife and Paul here.... then, what I mean....
Jun *throws the frying pan at Kazuya* SHUT UP!!!
*Enter Xiaoyu and Jin as Jesse and James from Team Rocket*
Jin Prepare for trouble!
Xaioyu Make it double!
Jin To protect the world from devestation!
Xiaoyu To unite all peoples within our Nation!
Jin To denounce the evils of Truth and Love!
Xiaoyu To extend our reach to the Stars above!
Jin Jin!
Xiaoyu Xaioyu!
Jin Team Rocket blasting off at the speed of light!
Xaioyu Surrender now or prepare to fight!
Meowth *as Chris Rock* Meowth, that's right suckas!!!
Paul Oh no..... it's.... *lifts his head* Team Rocket....
Transmission Restored
Narrator Next time on Metal Gear Coast to Coast!!!
Lulu The next time Paul decides to take my Hummer anywhere, someone responsible had better be with him!!
Paul *in a full body cast* I'm.... sorry...
Lulu *punches his arm* Asshole!!!
Paul *screams*
Lulu Dave, where were you when Paul decided to do this?
Dave You know exactly where I was..... I was buying you Midol....
Lulu Oh, I forgot....