Disclaimer: Metal Gear Solid NOR Space Ghost NOR FFX, NOR KoF, NOR
anything else are my creations. Except for Myself (Lulu Snake), Dave, C.M.
Crocker, Orlando Bloom (*drools all over keyboard* ^o^; ), Saddam Hussein
(That fucking Bastard.), or any Bands, ( I LUV U X-JAPAN! XOXO). Those are
real people and crap. Don't rip them off from me in a direct sense, or I'll
have Big Boss and Solidus hurt you. And when I say 'Direct Sense', I mean
using them the same way I did, or directly copying MY concept. 'Cause if
that happened, Legs will be broken and Horseheads will be in beds. Ask my
permission first!!! If you ask nicely, I'll gladly let you BORROW the
concept...- Lulu "Snake" Leonhart.
--------------------
Orlando Bloom Thanks for having me as a guest...
Lulu Teeheehehehe... anytime, Orlando!
Solid Airhead...
Dave *walks in* Oh, it's that show.... nevermind... *walks back out*
Hwoarang ...... Lulu is acting worse than the time she went to that X- Japan concert and the lead singer and her sang that duet of "Kurenai".
Lulu I have that on tape! Let's watch it!
Hwoarang and Solid NO!!!
Orlando You two are the biggest spoil sports.....
Lulu *plays the tape and sighs* God Blessed Japan with one of the Greatest Rock bands ever....
Hwoarang Korea is better.
Solid You eat dog....
Hwoarang So?
Solid You eat dogs..... you know.... PETS!!!!
Hwoarang At least we don't eat.... uhh.... ducks. o.o;
Solid I don't eat duck...
Lulu /\________________________/\; Orlando, do you want some Ice Cream?
Hwoarang Yet you Americans seem to enjoy enslaving dogs to pull sleds!
Solid WE DON'T EAT THEM!!!
Yamazaki This could get ugly.... I think I'll start the show....
Chapter 6 - Crushed Hummers
Narrator On the other side of the Island in King's Island Illusion....
Paul *hic* If Lulu weren't so powerful, I'd kick her ass....
King Your..... drunk....
Paul Gimme a'nother drink, sweetheart...
Ryo Drunk or not..... *swats Paul in the back of the head* ...Don't talk to her like that!
Paul Awww, man.... why'd ya hit me in the head...?
Ryo *sweatdrops then runs*
Paul *Grabs keys and chases him*
Narrator Several hours later....
Paul Ooohhh.... Lulu's gonna kill me....
Dave Don't worry about it...
Paul You don't understand.... her Hummer is totaled...
Dave Your as good as dead when you get out of that cast....
Paul I know...
Dave No, seriously.... Orlando Bloom gave her that Hummer..
Lulu *walks in, not looking too happy*
Paul I'm....so.... so sorry....
Lulu The next time Paul goes anywhere with my Hummer, someone responsible better be with him....!
Paul *winces*
Dave Lulu...
Lulu Which one did you take? My Army one? The MI one?
Paul Uhhh.... no.
Lulu *comes to the point and screams* NOT THE ONE ORLANDO GAVE ME!
Paul *visibly begins to shake in his full body cast*
Lulu *laughs in a psychotic manner and cracks her knuckles* Oh..... the things I will do to you when your out of that cast...
Dave I think it would be best to first cut off his Tab at King's.
Lulu I think I should sell all the Marijuana he grows in his room...
Paul GOD NO! NOT THAT! Lulu, please.... my dear, sweet Mary Jane is all that I love....
Dave *chuckles* He loves the Herb more than any woman....
Paul Mary Jane doesn't tell me to clean my room, keep the bathroom tidy, or tell me to mow the grass....
Lulu Yeah, I tell you to do all that shit.... because you ain't livin' in my Estate without doing chores!
Dave I only have to do the dishes on intervals with Hwoarang and change the cat litter.
Meanwhile...
Hwoarang Yeah, that old fool took the Hummer you gave to Lulu and he totaled it in a drunken rage.
Orlando Oh, Hell. I have plenty of money. I'll just get her another one.
Hwoarang Lord of the Rings is a big hit, huh?
Orlando Yep..... it was worth wearing those ears.... now I have a fan that loves me more than her boyfriend...
Hwoarang Lulu loves everyone.... just not equally. Even though she's down at the 'Hospital' yelling at Paul, she is thankful he is okay...
Orlando You know her well.
Hwoarang Not as well as Otacon does. He can give a two hour long lecture on Lulu, but he's grown tired of it. He has more important things to worry about...
Orlando Oh, yeah. He's trying to get Nina's memories.
Hwoarang Exactly. And he'd be far if it weren't for that bimbo Anna...
Orlando It could be worse....
Hwoarang Yeah.... Nina could be in it like Lulu...
Orlando Liquid and Solid are knuckleheads...
On another part of the Island...
Liquid Hmmmm....
Solid Hmmm....
Liquid Are these strobe lights..... giving you a headache...?
Solid Un-uh.... *stuffs a twenty into a strippers g-string*
Back at the new Hospital...
Dave Lulu.... take your pills...
Lulu *stops yelling at Paul to take her pills* Now, as I was saying....
Paul *sighs*
Lulu My arms! Eeek! *touches her arm and moans*
Paul Dave.... you gave her E?
Dave She needed to shut up....
Paul You know that since Lulu's sexdrive is like that of a teenage boy, she's gonna want sex...
Dave That's the whole idea...
Paul If I have to be witness to it....
Dave No.... we're gonna go into another room....
Paul Just keep it far from me.... I need a Joint.... *presses the "Call" button on the remote he got*
Lulu and Dave *exit*
Nurse *enters* Yes, Mr. Phoenix?
Paul Roll me a Cheech and Chong blunt...
Nurse Ofcourse, Sir. And whom should I charge this to?
Paul To Dave...
Nurse Okay, be right back...
Narrator *sweatdrops* The situation gets sticky....
Hwoarang Ewww.... enough sexual innuendo!
Paul *is rolled up to the entrance to the Estate by a sexy nurse in a clevage exposing tight white dress. He is smoking a blunt that can barely fit into his mouth*
Hwoarang All of a sudden, I wanna get a full body cast....
Fat Man That can be arranged...
Vamp I wanna keep him as a pet....
Hwoarang *screams like a woman and runs for the hills, the Benny Hill theme music playing*
Fat Man *skates after Hwoarang brandishing a rather large Baseball bat*
Vamp *runs along after Fat Man, with a whip*
Paul After them, my lovely Nurse!
Nurse, who's name just happens to be Mary Jane *runs the wheel chair after the line of men running*
Dave *looks outside the window to the front yard* o.o;
Lulu *smokes a cigarette* Benny Hill chase! O.O!!!
Dave *takes up Lulu's cigarette and puts it out in the ash tray as the woman dresses in a toga*
Lulu *strikes a pose then runs out and joins the chase*
Dave Oh, what the hell? *dresses up like Irvine and joins too*
Orlando *chases as well, dressed up like Legolas*
Narrator And so this chapter ends with the Zaniness of Lulu and her companions shown tride and true through a rip-off of the Benny Hill chase scene....
Transmission Intercepted
Jun I vant to be alone.... *sulks on a couch all Greta Garbo-like*
Kazuya The.... ship! What.... am I to do?
Paul *sweatdrops and blinks*
Hwoarang The ship...! She canna take much more, Captain!
Kazuya Paul.... what... should we do!?
Paul Re-vectorate the discombobulator and--
Transmission Interrupted
Brak *dances* Friendship is like an ointment!
Interrupted
Butthead He said 'anus'.
Beavis Heheh.... entertain us, anus....
Interrupted
Kazuya Paul... you saved..... the ship and crew.... once more!
Paul Think nothing of it. It is my duty...
Hwoarang Aye. Yer not an idiot like the Captain be....
Director Cut!
Kazuya I hate talking like Shatner....
Paul Why do I have to be the smart guy?
Director Hwoarang, your doing the accent all wrong.... you sound like a pirate...
Jun Paul, your right. Your not even remotely close to being the character...
Paul So? Oh, it's because I'm white!
Jun No. Your just stupid.
Kazuya *snickers* Yeah, and that's because your white...
Director I thought we wouldn't start this crap again...
Hwoarang I think I'm better just sticking to the Brak Show or something...
Jun C. Martin Crocker couldn't fathom you being on the show.
Kazuya I'd sooner kill myself than lower to the Brak Show.
Mom Oh, now I wouldn't say that.
Dad Mamma.... where is my Phone Book?
Brak Here you go Dad.
Dad Thank you, Brak.... now.... A STARING CONTEST!!!
Kazuya Your on! *stares*
Dad It is customary for the opponents to blink at one another in the begining of the contest...
Kazuya I've seen that trick done!
Mom Wow, he's better than Zorak....
Brak Go, Dad, go!!
Dad Your eyes are getting dry, Kazuya?
Kazuya I'm.... just..... FINE!!!
End Transmission
--------------------
Orlando Bloom Thanks for having me as a guest...
Lulu Teeheehehehe... anytime, Orlando!
Solid Airhead...
Dave *walks in* Oh, it's that show.... nevermind... *walks back out*
Hwoarang ...... Lulu is acting worse than the time she went to that X- Japan concert and the lead singer and her sang that duet of "Kurenai".
Lulu I have that on tape! Let's watch it!
Hwoarang and Solid NO!!!
Orlando You two are the biggest spoil sports.....
Lulu *plays the tape and sighs* God Blessed Japan with one of the Greatest Rock bands ever....
Hwoarang Korea is better.
Solid You eat dog....
Hwoarang So?
Solid You eat dogs..... you know.... PETS!!!!
Hwoarang At least we don't eat.... uhh.... ducks. o.o;
Solid I don't eat duck...
Lulu /\________________________/\; Orlando, do you want some Ice Cream?
Hwoarang Yet you Americans seem to enjoy enslaving dogs to pull sleds!
Solid WE DON'T EAT THEM!!!
Yamazaki This could get ugly.... I think I'll start the show....
Chapter 6 - Crushed Hummers
Narrator On the other side of the Island in King's Island Illusion....
Paul *hic* If Lulu weren't so powerful, I'd kick her ass....
King Your..... drunk....
Paul Gimme a'nother drink, sweetheart...
Ryo Drunk or not..... *swats Paul in the back of the head* ...Don't talk to her like that!
Paul Awww, man.... why'd ya hit me in the head...?
Ryo *sweatdrops then runs*
Paul *Grabs keys and chases him*
Narrator Several hours later....
Paul Ooohhh.... Lulu's gonna kill me....
Dave Don't worry about it...
Paul You don't understand.... her Hummer is totaled...
Dave Your as good as dead when you get out of that cast....
Paul I know...
Dave No, seriously.... Orlando Bloom gave her that Hummer..
Lulu *walks in, not looking too happy*
Paul I'm....so.... so sorry....
Lulu The next time Paul goes anywhere with my Hummer, someone responsible better be with him....!
Paul *winces*
Dave Lulu...
Lulu Which one did you take? My Army one? The MI one?
Paul Uhhh.... no.
Lulu *comes to the point and screams* NOT THE ONE ORLANDO GAVE ME!
Paul *visibly begins to shake in his full body cast*
Lulu *laughs in a psychotic manner and cracks her knuckles* Oh..... the things I will do to you when your out of that cast...
Dave I think it would be best to first cut off his Tab at King's.
Lulu I think I should sell all the Marijuana he grows in his room...
Paul GOD NO! NOT THAT! Lulu, please.... my dear, sweet Mary Jane is all that I love....
Dave *chuckles* He loves the Herb more than any woman....
Paul Mary Jane doesn't tell me to clean my room, keep the bathroom tidy, or tell me to mow the grass....
Lulu Yeah, I tell you to do all that shit.... because you ain't livin' in my Estate without doing chores!
Dave I only have to do the dishes on intervals with Hwoarang and change the cat litter.
Meanwhile...
Hwoarang Yeah, that old fool took the Hummer you gave to Lulu and he totaled it in a drunken rage.
Orlando Oh, Hell. I have plenty of money. I'll just get her another one.
Hwoarang Lord of the Rings is a big hit, huh?
Orlando Yep..... it was worth wearing those ears.... now I have a fan that loves me more than her boyfriend...
Hwoarang Lulu loves everyone.... just not equally. Even though she's down at the 'Hospital' yelling at Paul, she is thankful he is okay...
Orlando You know her well.
Hwoarang Not as well as Otacon does. He can give a two hour long lecture on Lulu, but he's grown tired of it. He has more important things to worry about...
Orlando Oh, yeah. He's trying to get Nina's memories.
Hwoarang Exactly. And he'd be far if it weren't for that bimbo Anna...
Orlando It could be worse....
Hwoarang Yeah.... Nina could be in it like Lulu...
Orlando Liquid and Solid are knuckleheads...
On another part of the Island...
Liquid Hmmmm....
Solid Hmmm....
Liquid Are these strobe lights..... giving you a headache...?
Solid Un-uh.... *stuffs a twenty into a strippers g-string*
Back at the new Hospital...
Dave Lulu.... take your pills...
Lulu *stops yelling at Paul to take her pills* Now, as I was saying....
Paul *sighs*
Lulu My arms! Eeek! *touches her arm and moans*
Paul Dave.... you gave her E?
Dave She needed to shut up....
Paul You know that since Lulu's sexdrive is like that of a teenage boy, she's gonna want sex...
Dave That's the whole idea...
Paul If I have to be witness to it....
Dave No.... we're gonna go into another room....
Paul Just keep it far from me.... I need a Joint.... *presses the "Call" button on the remote he got*
Lulu and Dave *exit*
Nurse *enters* Yes, Mr. Phoenix?
Paul Roll me a Cheech and Chong blunt...
Nurse Ofcourse, Sir. And whom should I charge this to?
Paul To Dave...
Nurse Okay, be right back...
Narrator *sweatdrops* The situation gets sticky....
Hwoarang Ewww.... enough sexual innuendo!
Paul *is rolled up to the entrance to the Estate by a sexy nurse in a clevage exposing tight white dress. He is smoking a blunt that can barely fit into his mouth*
Hwoarang All of a sudden, I wanna get a full body cast....
Fat Man That can be arranged...
Vamp I wanna keep him as a pet....
Hwoarang *screams like a woman and runs for the hills, the Benny Hill theme music playing*
Fat Man *skates after Hwoarang brandishing a rather large Baseball bat*
Vamp *runs along after Fat Man, with a whip*
Paul After them, my lovely Nurse!
Nurse, who's name just happens to be Mary Jane *runs the wheel chair after the line of men running*
Dave *looks outside the window to the front yard* o.o;
Lulu *smokes a cigarette* Benny Hill chase! O.O!!!
Dave *takes up Lulu's cigarette and puts it out in the ash tray as the woman dresses in a toga*
Lulu *strikes a pose then runs out and joins the chase*
Dave Oh, what the hell? *dresses up like Irvine and joins too*
Orlando *chases as well, dressed up like Legolas*
Narrator And so this chapter ends with the Zaniness of Lulu and her companions shown tride and true through a rip-off of the Benny Hill chase scene....
Transmission Intercepted
Jun I vant to be alone.... *sulks on a couch all Greta Garbo-like*
Kazuya The.... ship! What.... am I to do?
Paul *sweatdrops and blinks*
Hwoarang The ship...! She canna take much more, Captain!
Kazuya Paul.... what... should we do!?
Paul Re-vectorate the discombobulator and--
Transmission Interrupted
Brak *dances* Friendship is like an ointment!
Interrupted
Butthead He said 'anus'.
Beavis Heheh.... entertain us, anus....
Interrupted
Kazuya Paul... you saved..... the ship and crew.... once more!
Paul Think nothing of it. It is my duty...
Hwoarang Aye. Yer not an idiot like the Captain be....
Director Cut!
Kazuya I hate talking like Shatner....
Paul Why do I have to be the smart guy?
Director Hwoarang, your doing the accent all wrong.... you sound like a pirate...
Jun Paul, your right. Your not even remotely close to being the character...
Paul So? Oh, it's because I'm white!
Jun No. Your just stupid.
Kazuya *snickers* Yeah, and that's because your white...
Director I thought we wouldn't start this crap again...
Hwoarang I think I'm better just sticking to the Brak Show or something...
Jun C. Martin Crocker couldn't fathom you being on the show.
Kazuya I'd sooner kill myself than lower to the Brak Show.
Mom Oh, now I wouldn't say that.
Dad Mamma.... where is my Phone Book?
Brak Here you go Dad.
Dad Thank you, Brak.... now.... A STARING CONTEST!!!
Kazuya Your on! *stares*
Dad It is customary for the opponents to blink at one another in the begining of the contest...
Kazuya I've seen that trick done!
Mom Wow, he's better than Zorak....
Brak Go, Dad, go!!
Dad Your eyes are getting dry, Kazuya?
Kazuya I'm.... just..... FINE!!!
End Transmission