Entry 1
I don't know where I came from. I don't know who my parents are. Hell, I don't even know my own goddamn name. Sure, everyone else here goes by their hacker aliases, too, but at least they had names. Some of them even remember those names, although it's kinda like trying to see a face through a foggy glass door.
Alright, I do know a few things. I am about nineteen years old, which makes me the youngest person on this ship by a good six years. I am really good with computers, which is obviously what landed me here in the first place. I was unplugged when I was about nine, way too young. The only reason Morpheus did it was because I hacked into one of his codes, and that would have seriously fucked things up if they had let me go with that information. So he basically kidnaps me, carts me off to Zion, leaves me there for five or six years, and then I join the crew on the Neb. The crew back then wasn't much different; Tank, Dozer, Cypher, Trinity, Apock, and of course Morpheus. And then there was Nova and Kyassa. Two girls. Nova was older, almost like a mother, kind of like Morpheus is sort of my father. I guess. Kyassa was closer to my age, about three years older than me. I loved her. We were the youngest on the Neb, so we stuck together. She got unplugged about a month before I joined the crew, so it was like we were the same age, experience-wise.
Kyassa reminded me of someone I knew back in Zion, a girl named Morgan. Such a plain name, like a Matrix name, but I thought it was gorgeous in its simplicity. Trinity is a pretty name, but I think that some of the Matrix names are nicer. Faith was always one of my favorites. I used to think that if I ever had a daughter I'd name her Faith. Too late for that now, I guess. The odds of me finding a girl I care that much about in the short length of the time I expect to live are practically nil. And I know odds. Remember? I am a computer freak.
And I know that Morpheus means well. After all, he has been pretty lenient towards me ever since I joined. I've fucked up a few times, and I've been punished, but not ridiculously. We usually aren't punished too badly. Then again, we don't normally fuck up a lot. In life and death situations, you learn not to. Fast. Or it's not a life and death situation anymore. Just death.
I miss Kyassa. Everyone else on this ship is older. Even Trinity- she's caring, but more like an older cousin that you only see a few times every year. I really can't talk to anybody. Personally I find it kind of amusing. Here I am, unplugged, fighting Agents, ready to die every day, and yet I still have bouts of typical teenage angst. Un-freaking-believable. Then again, maybe it is almost believable. Makes you wonder, you know, if those emotions are real or not. I sort of lost track a few years ago of what emotions are real, and what are product of the Matrix.
I know the Lady in Red isn't real, but when she's breathing your name in your ear it doesn't really matter whether she's real or not. We all need to indulge ourselves sometimes. Funny, a lot of the guys on the Neb want to meet her but I'm almost protective of her. Like she's my own personal property. Which she kind of is. But honestly, she's a computer program. It's not like she's a living, breathing person. I just wouldn't want to know that, say, Cypher had used the same program. Yuuuuckk…. I really did not need to think about that. Bad thought! Cypher likes Trin, anyways, but even that…. Naw, Trin has someone special waiting for her. I dunno, I just don't think she and Cypher go together at all. Nova was the only one that Cypher would really talk to. And she got killed, oh, two years ago? Cypher's really closed up since then. He just sits there at the console, watching the patterns of the Matrix and drinking Dozer's moonshine. He really won't talk to anyone except sometimes Dozer, because Dozer's just so laid-back and calm. Almost the opposite of his little brother. Tank is hyperactive and crazy, but he has the same calmness that Dozer has. That's why Tank makes the greatest operator- he never gets really upset, and even when he does, you can't hear it in his voice. I can't tell you what a relief it is to hear his relaxed voice tell you there's a phone around the corner, especially when you're being chased by an Agent. And we're always chased. Because you don't fight Agents. You run.