Entry 2
This has been a baaaaaad day. First, the "food" machine broke, so we had no breakfast. Not that it's really breakfast anyways. But I remember Cheerios with strawberries and milk in the Matrix. I know they weren't real, but god, they tasted so good. And chocolate, too. It really makes you wonder, you know? Like, some things I've done outside the Matrix but never inside. Drinking, for example. In the Matrix, I'm way too young to drink. You wonder if drinking is any different in the Matrix. Here, I'm just one of the crew. I get treated to Dozer's moonshine same as everyone else, except Switch, because she doesn't drink. I think in the Matrix her dad was an alcoholic. I've heard it runs in the genes. I guess that kind of turns you off alcohol for life. You never know what might happen to you. Mostly the crew doesn't get drunk. It's a pretty stupid thing to do. You need all your senses out here.
And sex. Oh yes, horny teenagers are everywhere, huh? Well, look, I'm nineteen, I haven't lived inside the Matrix for ten years. Since I was in fourth grade and cared more about stuffed animals than girls. Everyone else here has had the chance at some point or another. Ok, I lived in Zion for a while, and I did know girls there, but I left when I was about sixteen, which is a bit young if you ask me. Then again, it's not really that young when you consider that everyone around here expects to die every single day. That was why a lot of kids in Zion would hook up. They were going out with a crew the next day and they'd probably never see each other again. It didn't really matter who you were with. That's the problem. Everything loses its meaning here, out of the Matrix. Everything except life. And the sad part is, this is reality. This is as real as it gets.
I trust everyone here, though. Morpheus- well, you have to trust Morpheus. If you don't trust him, you're dead. Besides, he's so easy to trust. After all, he's in charge on this ship. If you don't trust him, you find yourself another captain. He always sounds so reassuring that you know he'll make everything ok. Until you come up out of Wonderland and realize that we're pretty much on our own, and Morpheus will let you die for the Cause. Then, if you still trust him, you stay on the ship.
Trinity is so amazingly capable. I've only heard bits and pieces of her story, but I guess she was born in England and her parents were from somewhere in Asia. Whenever I ask Tank, he just shakes his head and says Trinity had a tough life. She was unplugged when she was about twenty, pretty much standard age for unplugging. You're old enough to realize that Morpheus is giving you a choice rather than kidnapping you, but young enough to still doubt the principles of the world you live in. That's important, because if you're too used to the system, your brain can't accept being unplugged. I've seen it happen too many times.
Cypher is the only one on the ship that I don't trust with my life. It's not that I don't trust him at all, it's just that he was kind of older when he was unplugged, and he had a lot more problems with adapting. He's always had a little authority problem, and he's definitely what you would call solitary. Pretty much keeps to himself. He's damn smart, though. If he put his mind to it, he could be just as good as Trinity, maybe better. He's just satisfied by torturing himself over her, I guess. The thing about Cypher is that he's capable of a lot, but he doesn't have the balls to do anything. That's the main reason he doesn't worry me- he's not a coward, but he's about the closest you can get here on the ship.
I hate being the youngest. I just hate it. It's not like the crew deliberately treats me like I'm younger, but I'm always conscious of the fact that I am a lot younger than everyone else, and as such I lack wisdom, maturity, and experience. Hell, I haven't even been to see the Oracle. Morpheus keeps promising that "when the time comes" I'll be able to go see her. Well, Morpheus, I want the time to be now! I mean, what if I was the One, and they didn't know it because I haven't been to see her yet? Hah. Who am I kidding? I'm the One like Trinity is Queen Elizabeth. Maybe in some alternative universe….
Oh, I don't know. Life is just hard. All the time. Not like in the movies I can hack into where the teenager screams "I hate you!", runs upstairs, and slams the door. There aren't any doors to slam here. Literally, there are, but honestly, we have no barriers. Sometimes Apock, who sleeps next-door to me, has these horrible nightmares and wakes up screaming. When he does, someone- anyone, whoever is awake and not on watch- will just walk in and sit with him until he falls asleep. That's the way we are here. I dream about the machines, and the fields of humans, and how my mother, who supposedly gave me the gift of life, was really just part of the Matrix, too. Who knows? Maybe an Agent has used my mother, taken her body to fight us. Maybe I've even shot my mother. There's the 'beauty' of the real world; your family is here, on the ship, always with you. But they die so often….
Well, life is short, and this entry is getting long. It's time for my watch. Switch and Morpheus are going into the Matrix, looking for a prospect, and I need to be there to back up Tank. He gets tired, too, you know? We all do. We get so tired, but there's never any time to rest…..
I think I'm going to continue with Mouse. I just love him so much. Maybe later I'll do a separate one for someone else, probably Dozer. Get back to me on that and tell me what you think. Reviews are welcome… *bribes potential reviewers with chocolate chip cookies*