Chapter 6
"Oh, hi Matt." Jennifer's voice broke into the awkwardness as she approached the foyer. "I thought I heard your voice."
"Hey, Jen." Matt responded, not taking his eyes away from Samantha.
"Yeah, I was just going to tell you that Matt was here for you." Samantha said when Jennifer stopped at her side.
"Well, you two are talking and I don't want to interrupt . . ." Jennifer started.
"You're not interrupting. Besides, you guys have plans and I don't want to keep you from them." Samantha hurriedly cut Jennifer off.
"We don't really have plans. We're just hanging out, nothing formal." Jennifer added.
"Jenny, it's fine. I'll be fine. You guys should get going. Have fun." Samantha insisted, nudging Jennifer towards the open doorway. Samantha had made a horrible mistake and the truth was, she didn't want to face Matt right now. How could she? After the torment she had caused him just because of her own warped insecurities.
"All right, if you're sure?" Jennifer asked a bit weary at Samantha's desire to be rid of them.
"I'm sure. It's okay, really." She answered.
"Okay. Are you ready?" Jennifer asked, turning to Matt.
He nodded in response and he and Jennifer turned and started to his car in the driveway.
Samantha smiled after them from the doorway until they reached his car. As soon as she closed the door, she collapsed onto the floor in a mass of tears. * What have I done? I just gave up on the best thing in my life, and for what? Maybe, it'll be okay. Maybe he'll forgive me. Forgive me? Now I must be crazy. I can't ask him to forgive me for breaking his heart, for ignoring him, for telling him his love wasn't good enough. How do you forgive something like that? How can I expect him to? *
A few hours later . . .
The banging jolted Samantha awake with a startle. She had cried herself to sleep where she laid in front of the door. After a moment, she was alert enough to realize that the banging was coming from the door she rested against. She wiped the salty residue from her face and slowly got up from the floor. She opened the door to find Matt standing before her.
"Matt? What are you doing here? Where's Jenny?" Samantha asked, looking past him, searching for Jennifer.
"She was meeting up with someone when I left her. I had to see you." Matt said.
The intensity in his eyes shot through Samantha.
"Can I come in. Can we talk?" He asked hopefully.
Samantha didn't speak, she only opened the door wider to allow him to enter. She closed the door after him, turned, and headed for the living room.
Matt followed close behind her. Despite the weeks apart and the grueling emotional roller coaster, he still wanted nothing more than to reach out to her, to hold her in his arms. Even after hearing her words run through his mind all these weeks, he wasn't able to understand how she could feel the way she did. * How could she think that she was just a substitute for Mac? I love her. I thought she knew that. Why didn't she tell me what was going on before she left? Why couldn't she talk to me? *
Samantha sat on the couch and Matt sat right beside her. They sat in silence for a few minutes. Matt took advantage of their closeness, using that precious time to take her presence in. He missed her warmth, her smell, her softness.
"Matt, I owe you an apology. I've treated you awfully. No matter what is going on between us, you deserve better." Samantha said, breaking the silence between them.
Matt was relieved by her words, he didn't know where to start, what to say. "Samantha, I understand that you need your space right now. I can't say that I understand how you feel or what you're thinking, but I know you're having a hard time. If space is what you need to be able to sort things out, you have it. I won't bother you anymore, but you don't owe me anything. I love you. I didn't mean to pressure you. I truly want you to be happy."
"Oh, hi Matt." Jennifer's voice broke into the awkwardness as she approached the foyer. "I thought I heard your voice."
"Hey, Jen." Matt responded, not taking his eyes away from Samantha.
"Yeah, I was just going to tell you that Matt was here for you." Samantha said when Jennifer stopped at her side.
"Well, you two are talking and I don't want to interrupt . . ." Jennifer started.
"You're not interrupting. Besides, you guys have plans and I don't want to keep you from them." Samantha hurriedly cut Jennifer off.
"We don't really have plans. We're just hanging out, nothing formal." Jennifer added.
"Jenny, it's fine. I'll be fine. You guys should get going. Have fun." Samantha insisted, nudging Jennifer towards the open doorway. Samantha had made a horrible mistake and the truth was, she didn't want to face Matt right now. How could she? After the torment she had caused him just because of her own warped insecurities.
"All right, if you're sure?" Jennifer asked a bit weary at Samantha's desire to be rid of them.
"I'm sure. It's okay, really." She answered.
"Okay. Are you ready?" Jennifer asked, turning to Matt.
He nodded in response and he and Jennifer turned and started to his car in the driveway.
Samantha smiled after them from the doorway until they reached his car. As soon as she closed the door, she collapsed onto the floor in a mass of tears. * What have I done? I just gave up on the best thing in my life, and for what? Maybe, it'll be okay. Maybe he'll forgive me. Forgive me? Now I must be crazy. I can't ask him to forgive me for breaking his heart, for ignoring him, for telling him his love wasn't good enough. How do you forgive something like that? How can I expect him to? *
A few hours later . . .
The banging jolted Samantha awake with a startle. She had cried herself to sleep where she laid in front of the door. After a moment, she was alert enough to realize that the banging was coming from the door she rested against. She wiped the salty residue from her face and slowly got up from the floor. She opened the door to find Matt standing before her.
"Matt? What are you doing here? Where's Jenny?" Samantha asked, looking past him, searching for Jennifer.
"She was meeting up with someone when I left her. I had to see you." Matt said.
The intensity in his eyes shot through Samantha.
"Can I come in. Can we talk?" He asked hopefully.
Samantha didn't speak, she only opened the door wider to allow him to enter. She closed the door after him, turned, and headed for the living room.
Matt followed close behind her. Despite the weeks apart and the grueling emotional roller coaster, he still wanted nothing more than to reach out to her, to hold her in his arms. Even after hearing her words run through his mind all these weeks, he wasn't able to understand how she could feel the way she did. * How could she think that she was just a substitute for Mac? I love her. I thought she knew that. Why didn't she tell me what was going on before she left? Why couldn't she talk to me? *
Samantha sat on the couch and Matt sat right beside her. They sat in silence for a few minutes. Matt took advantage of their closeness, using that precious time to take her presence in. He missed her warmth, her smell, her softness.
"Matt, I owe you an apology. I've treated you awfully. No matter what is going on between us, you deserve better." Samantha said, breaking the silence between them.
Matt was relieved by her words, he didn't know where to start, what to say. "Samantha, I understand that you need your space right now. I can't say that I understand how you feel or what you're thinking, but I know you're having a hard time. If space is what you need to be able to sort things out, you have it. I won't bother you anymore, but you don't owe me anything. I love you. I didn't mean to pressure you. I truly want you to be happy."