AUTHOR'S NOTE: Well, might as well put a fic before Thanksgiving. Have a good one and don't forget about those special people you hold in your heart. Onee-sama, this is your pre-Thanksgiving gift so if you think it's cheap, than I'll buy you that box set of GW you wanted so much!

DISCLAIMER: Not mine. Gainax owns.

Somewhere Just For Us

Part two: …even if I don't understand…

"Hey Shinji…when you ran away all those times…why did you always go by yourself? Not that I care too much…?" Leaning on the window, Asuka watched how the world streaked past her in a blur…it was like art…almost.

Hearing no response, Asuka grimaced. "Are you even listening to…?" Asuka sighed in exasperation as she saw Shinji had once again lost himself in the music of his SDAT. It seemed so surreal…his eyes closed and his head resting on the cushion of the train seat…it almost looked like he was sleeping. The only indication that he was awake however, was that his index finger was lightly tapping the armrest, keeping time with the music that was still too loud even though his earplugs were firmly in place.

Snorting, Asuka shook her head and resumed looking out the window. "Honestly, why the hell did I even believe you for a second Shinji? You're not even looking!"

Shinji whispered, "I'm not looking because the rain stopped."

"Eh?" Once again taken by surprise, a cursory glance at the sky validated his answer. Although it was milky gray and the air was still heavy with the weight of water, no rain was falling. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"Where the rain goes…we go. I know it…that special place…" Shinji nodded his head. "That special place was always raining…"

"You're the only one who thinks like that." Asuka stared solemnly out the window as her voice grew more introspective. "Even though I traveled half the globe from Germany to get here Shinji…you and me…we've never really been outside of Tokyo-3 have we?"

Shinji smiled. "Really?"

"Don't sound so smug." Not in the mood to really argue, Asuka sighed. "There's still so much I haven't seen…and all I can do now is stare out and see it all flashing past me. Even if I wanted to enjoy it, things move so fast all I see is a blur."

She froze as she felt a hand clasp hers on the armrest. Slowly turning her head, she saw Shinji's hand squeeze hers softly. He whispered, "That's why Asuka…that's why Ayanami stares out the window. You've never really been outside of Tokyo-3…but she's never really been outside of EVA." He looked at her with his soft blue eyes. "But I'm happy…being here with you…even if all we can do is stare out a window…if you can still tell me what you can see, I'll be happy."

Asuka stammered, "Don't say things like that! You don't even know what you're talking about…"

Shinji shook his head. "No…it's clear. its clear cause when I open my eyes, even though the ceiling is still unfamiliar, I know you're there…and I know that something in my life isn't changing." He let go of her head. "Thank you. Thank you so much."

Pulling her hand tightly into her lap and spinning around, Asuka hid her blush under the mane of her red hair. "What's the matter with you? ANTA BAKA?!"

We might be going too far…without really understanding where we're going…Shinji smiled. That's strange…I don't feel lost. I don't feel lost at all…when I'm with her…

Asuka suddenly grinned as she stood up from her chair and pointed at the sky. "Shinji! Look! It's started raining again!"

Smiling with her, Shinji stood up as well and nodded in appreciation as flecks of rain streaked against the window, "We can start again at the next station than Asuka."

Asuka shook her head vigorously and grabbed his hand. Pulling him to his feet, she pulled him to the back of the train and next to the emergency exit. "Sorry Shinji…but I think I'm a bit impatient right now. You don't mind do you?"

Shinji gaped at Asuka for a split-second before closing his mouth and nodding slowly. Hefting his pack over his back, he braced himself against the back wall. "No, I don't mind at all. I'm ready…"

Breaking the pane of glass on the emergency exit and slapping the red button labeled EMERGENCY BRAKE, Asuka held Shinji's hand tightly as the entire train lurched forward before thundering to a harsh stop. The screams of the slightly disgruntled and shocked passengers filled the room as the high-pitched squeal of the brake deafened everyone.

As the train came to a halt, Asuka pulled the red lever down and kicked the door open. Jumping off the track she spun around and held out a hand to Shinji. "Come on! Let's go!"

Eh…my SDAT…Shinji's eyes flashed towards the aisle they had just ran down, now littered with spilled drinks and strewn papers. Right in the middle of the mess was the flat, dull black box with the ear plugs still attached to the I/O port.

The music was still running…and the LED screen showed Track 26…always Track 26… had once again started. It never changed. The music never changed…

The usher began barreling down the row as the burly man snarled, "You damn brat! You're in big trouble! What the hell did you just do?"

It was so damn crazy…the idiot was going to trample his SDAT! He was going to…to …ah, what the hell…Shinji's eyes flashed to the man's eyes as a wide grin split his face. "You want it?"

The usher's face contorted in mixed fury and confusion. "What do you mean?"

Sketching a mock-salute, Shinji laughed. "I dropped my SDAT buddy…if you want it…then I would watch very carefully where you stepped."

"YOU DAMN BRAT! JUST WAIT TILL I…" The harsh sound of cracked plastic and metal reverberated across the room as the man's heavy boot pulverized the flat box and forever silenced the music. Slightly stunned, the man looked almost guiltily at the broken machine whose parts were now littering the aisle floor.

But if the music never changed, the music never was really worth listening to.

Shinji laughed one short time before he hopped out the emergency door and landed heavily on his feet against the soft loam of the mossy earth, wet with the beginning of yet another rain. Pulling him to his feet, Asuka grimaced, "What the hell took you so long?"

Shinji flashed a grin. "I needed to take care of a few things."

"Don't get freakin smart with me…" Her eyes widened as she looked behind her, as if just noticing all the commotion they had just caused. "Oh crap…I think they might actually chase us." She grabbed Shinji's right arm and broke into a run. "Look at how much trouble you are!"

Shinji panted back, "How is it my fault? You could've waited!"

"Be a man Shinji! Take responsibility!"

"You don't need to put it that way!"

Asuka smiled to herself as they left the stalled train on the rails behind them and began sprinting. The rain felt cold against her skin and the air seemed thick with fog until it was like pushing through a brick wall. Her lungs were pounding against her chest and her legs felt like lead weights as she felt almost dizzy with euphoria.

But Shinji was holding on to her hand…and they were still looking…her heart wasn't pounding because she was tired…and if it was so cold, why did her face feel so warm to the touch?

They were lost…completely and utterly lost in a world they had never seen before…but how lost could they really be when something so special was in front of them? Somewhere out there…

She was still smiling…and so was Shinji. It seemed they had never stopped.

***

The rain made the sand harsh and biting…and the cold had turned his hands red and tender. Sitting in the middle of the damp playground, Shinji absentmindedly kneaded a handful of cold sand in his hand as he watched the dirt clump against the ground and sift through his palms.

"It's the rain Shinji. It's turning all the sand into mud…really too bad…it almost reminds me of the beaches back home in Germany. It never got warm there." Sitting on the swing set watching him, Asuka swung gently back and forth as a light breeze blew through her hair.

The rain really had turned most the sand into mud. In fact, the sandbox was littered with potholes filled with water, forming small lakes and large puddles. Smiling, Shinji wiped the dirt against his pants. "Yeah…you're right."

"Hey Shinji…"

"Hmm?"

"How close did you ever get?"

Curious, Shinji stood up and walked next to the swing set. "Close to what?"

"What are you stupid?" She softened her words with a smile. "How close did you ever get to finding that special place?"

Shinji shrugged. "I don't know…I've tried a lot of times…I never really could get started. And by the time I figured out where it might be, someone would find me and it would all end."

Frowning as the wet dirt beneath her gave little traction, Asuka pointed behind her, "This isn't getting anywhere…Give me a push Shinji."

"All right…" Walking behind her, Shinji rubbed his hands together and placed his hands firmly on her shoulder. Pulling her back two steps, he ran forward and pushed her hard. As she curved up and than back down, he backed away and gave her another firm push to send her flying higher and higher.

It was a kind of rhythm…they didn't talk for awhile and Shinji would push forward, back up and push forward again. As her breath grew faster and faster as the height below grew dizzyingly high, Asuka gulped nervously as another firm push almost threw her off the swing. Holding tightly onto the chains of the swing, Asuka hollered, "Ok idiot…I think that's a lot more than enough or do you want me to fly off and break my neck?"

Blushing, Shinji paused and stuffed his hands back into his pockets. "Sorry…"

"Cheh…I asked. No one asked you to apologize." Allowing herself to slow down, Asuka took the time to thoroughly enjoy the wind seeping through her hair and the crisp cold air damp with rain soak into her skin. She sighed, "It's been a long time since I've done this…it feels so nice!"

Sitting down on the other swing, Shinji amiably agreed. "It's the small things in life that really matter…isn't it Asuka?"

Asuka scoffed, "Speak for yourself. I wouldn't give up being a pilot for something as trivial as this. The world still needs to know what a great pilot I am!"

"You are a great pilot Asuka…" Letting himself dangle on the swings and watching Asuka soar higher next to him, Shinji nodded. "A very good pilot."

Interrupting his reverie, Asuka yelled down at him, "Don't you want to see Shinji?"

"Eh?"

Slowing herself to a halt by planting her feet on the damp ground, Asuka stopped her swing and turned to face him. Her voice grew curiously soft. "I asked you, don't you want to see? Why are you just sitting there?" She pointed at the sky and smiled, "The view from all the way up there is great…don't you want to see it?"

Laughing, Shinji crossed his arms, "And how am I going to get all the way up there? What… is Asuka going to give me a push?"

"I'll give you a push…on one condition though."

"Nani?"

Hopping of her swing and blushing, Asuka bent down and whispered in his ear. "Don't you dare look up or I'll kill you."

"Eh? How can you STILL make me sound like a pervert? I didn't even do anything."

Blushing even more, Asuka smacked his head none too gently. "Just remember ok idiot? And you better not break your promise!"

"Hai Hai…"

Giving him a firm push to start, Asuka began repeating the cycle as she gave him another push every time he came back down. Holding the chains tighter and tighter, Shinji was about to complain when Asuka suddenly gripped both chains as he was coming down again and stepped onto the back of the swing, planting both feet on the opposite edges of the swing seat.

The swing bucked as the extra weight threw it off course but adjusting her weight to compensate, Asuka eased her body forward and backward in rhythm to keep time with the swing. It was an odd sight really…Shinji was sitting on the swing seat while Asuka was standing precariously above him, holding onto the chains for dear life and all too self-conscious of her light yellow skirt billowing in all directions as the swing went back and forth.

 "What are you doing now Asuka?" Shinji's voice was slightly panicked and tinged with a bit of awe.

"It's not fair if you get the whole view to yourself. Don't be so selfish baka Shinji!" Blushing as the hem of her skirt fluttered in the wind, Asuka stammered a retort, "You better not be looking up! I can't hold my skirt down so keep your perverted hormones to yourself just this once!" She flushed, "You better keep your promise."

"Hai Hai…" Dutifully keeping his eyes straight, Shinji meekly cut the conversation as he concentrated on everything he could see. Asuka was right…the view up here was wonderful. "Hey Asuka…"

"Hmm?"

"This is the closest I've ever gotten Asuka…this is the closest I've ever gotten to finding that special place."

Looking down at him, Asuka's eyes widened. "Really?"

"Yah…really." Meeting her gaze, Shinji smiled back up at her. "Can we find it Asuka?"

Asuka nodded. "I want to find it Shinji…that special place just for us."

Shinji's brow knotted. "Us? I thought that…"

"Anta Baka? Both of us are searching so hard for it that none of us are just going to give it up when we find it." Asuka sighed. "That's why Shinji…I'll only share it with you." Her voice grew slightly pained, "You…you don't mind do you though Shinji? Sharing that special place with me?"

Shinji stared up at her, looking at her blue eyes that reflected so many feelings he wanted to understand a bit more…if she would let him. "If it's just you…I wouldn't mind so much. But it has to be you Asuka…that place…only for you and me."

"Promise?"

 Shinji smiled and held up a hand. "Promise."

Sliding her hand into his, Asuka gripped it tightly. "Only with you Shinji…always…only with you. Stay with me here…for a little while longer…"

Not bothering to reply, Shinji just concentrated on the touch of her hand against his and the view Asuka had wanted him to see in front of him. These special gifts…something that the two of them could share…both so equally important to him.

That place…that was now just for them. It didn't sound so lonely anymore. It didn't sound so impossible anymore.

From up here, on this swing holding hands…it was like all they had to do was just reach out and grab it.

"Shinji…"

"Hmm…?"

"Why are you still looking up?"

"Eh? What's up? I don't see….AAAAHHH!!! GOMEN!"

"I was right…PERVERT!!"

***

Both of them crammed into the empty telephone booth as lightning thundered across the sky, illuminating the pale reddish/blue evening sky. Groaning, Asuka despondently looked outside. "What kind of weather is this Shinji? What is wrong with this post-Second Impact weather?"

Inwardly agreeing, Shinji squeezed the hem of his shirt to soak out all the water. Shivering, he glared at Asuka. "Stop that! You're getting water everywhere!"

Asuka stuck out her tongue as she continued to shake her hair. "I'm completely soaked idiot and my hair is three times as long as yours! Quit complaining and be a gentleman about it."

Uncomfortably self-aware of their close proximity, Shinji flattened himself on the opposite end of the booth. "Of all the places we chose, we had to choose a box…" He winced as the roll of thunder pealed uncomfortably close to them. "Makes you kind of scared doesn't it?"

"Are you even a man Shinji? Does a little light show in the sky scare poor little…?" Asuka's leer suddenly turned into a short scream as the phone unexpectedly rang. Throwing herself to the other side of the booth, Shinji definitely felt something in his chest pop as Asuka almost sandwiched herself against his chest.

The phone continued ringing as the two of them looked from each other to the machine with a mixture of confusion and horror. Grinning, Shinji wryly asked, "Not scared huh?"

Swallowing, Asuka was a bit too shaken to think of a retort of the moment. "Th…that's not funny Shinji…not funny at all."

"What are we going to do?"

"We…we pick it up…I guess…" Steadying herself, she hesitantly reached out and picked up the phone. "Mochi mochi…"

"I hate to break up your romantic getaway together but might I ask WHAT IN HELL ARE YOU TWO DOING IN TOKYO-1??" Ritsuko's voice snarled over the phone loud enough to shake both of the occupants.

That didn't sound good.

Guiltily exchanging glances, Asuka motioned for Shinji to say something. Trying his best not to tear out the telephone booth door and drag Asuka away with him, Shinji leaned closer to the telephone receiver and asked numbly, "R…Ritsuko…san…ummm…" He had to ask, "How did you know we were in this booth?"

"I'm in NERV kid. I make my living tracing you two. Did you know that we have a top-of-the-line trace satellite here? Got it pretty cheap by some Libyan corporation…NO! STOP TRYING TO CHANGE THE TOPIC! In fact, I don't care about your reasons. I really don't care." Ritsuko sounded completely flustered and exasperated as sounds of paper sliding across the table in the background could be heard. "Where did I put that request form…look, stay where you are. I'll send a unit to pick you two up ok?"

Both of them replied simultaneously, "NO!" Blushing as they looked at each other, Asuka gripped the phone tighter as Shinji averted his eyes. She spoke in a somewhat softer tone into the phone. "We're kind of busy Ritsuko…"

"BUSY!" Ritsuko exploded as Asuka held the phone a good five inches away from her ear wincing in pain. "DO YOU TWO EVEN KNOW WHAT BUSY MEANS?? IT MEANS TRYING TO GET THE COMMANDER FROM JUMPING ALL OVER MY ASS WHILE YOU TWO ARE GOD KNOWS WHERE…no…no….MAYA I AM NOT LOSING MY….MAYA…ok! OK!" In a forced tone, the scientist's voice became saccharinely sweet, "Now Asuka…"

Taking the phone from Asuka's hands, Shinji stammered, "Ritsuko-san…Gomen…I'm very sorry for all the trouble we caused you…but, I…"

Asuka interjected tersely, "We."

"We can't go back…we got this far…" Asuka smiled softly at Shinji. "Yeah…this far." Wetting his lips, he continued on. "We won't turn back Ritsuko-san. Not now…not when we're this close."

Ritsuko's voice grew dead serious. "The Commander doesn't know you're gone Shinji. If you continue talking like that, that can change really fast."

Father? Shinji gripped the phone harder as his left hand clenched under the counter. "I…I…it's not that Ritsuko…but…" I must not run away…don't run away…not alone…not here…

Ritsuko sighed. "If you would ever stop running away from your problems, you might figure it out Shinji. Grow up. And it's bad enough that you're dragging Asuka with you. You've caused enough trouble so why don't you just sit down and let me take care of it before you make the situation even worse?"

Shinji's eyes flashed and his voice cooled ten degrees. "Ritsuko-san…you don't understand anything of what's happened today. I don't expect you to. I'm not running away. We're not running away…and sitting there in that cozy lab of yours, maybe you're the one who is. I'm facing my fears here and I'm doing what I want to do with someone I WANT to be with for the first time in my life. I'm not going to let you take that from me."

Ritsuko's voice began increasing in ire over the phone again. "LOOK Shinji-kun…don't even THINK to judge me! If you don't listen…"

Shinji snarled, "What are you going to do than? Tell me! What can you do that my father hasn't done!" He snapped, "If you want us, come and get us!"

Slamming the phone hard on the phone register, the plastic casing of the receiver cracked and splintered. For a few seconds, as the last echoes of the heated conversation died done, all that could be heard was the sound of Shinji's uncertain breathing. It was odd…it made everything sound so surreal. His head was bowed and he looked dangerously close to tears. Why would he be crying?

He…Shinji…was an idiot…but, for the first time since coming here, Asuka believed something more than she could have ever possibly thought. His words…what he said now…she didn't understand them. She didn't understand what could be so different from all the other days…or how it might change them in the future. His fears…and what his father did…she didn't understand.

But someone he wanted to be with…for the first time in his life? Why? Shinji…Ikari Shinji wanted to be with her? Why?

There's no such thing as princesses and princes…

Why?

And happily ever after is a way that life tells you that everything is wrong…

Why?

It didn't make sense. Nothing made sense. But through it all…it was truth. Even if she didn't understand, Asuka could believe it. She could believe in Shinji.

Slowly taking his hand off the phone, Shinji slumped against the side of the booth and ran a hand over his face. "What am I talking about…what am I saying Asuka? I…I don't understand. What am I going to do?"

Asuka whispered, "Take me there…Shinji…"

His eyes flashed to her. "Eh?"

"I…I don't know which way to take…" She met his uncertain gaze with all the sincerity she ever had. "I don't know where to look. If you can accept that…and still want me to be with you, than I will. So…" She slipped her hand into his and gripped it tightly. "So take me to that special place Shinji. Just for us…together."

The rain outside poured even harder as if telling them they were trapped. That they would forever be stuck in a box and there was nothing they could do about it.

Shinji shook his head. "What if we can't find it? What if it doesn't exist?"

"I don't know…I don't know either Shinji. But don't keep those fears to yourself…let me share a part of your pain. That's the only thing I can do. I'm only an EVA pilot."

"Look at me Asuka! Just look! I'm just as confused as you are! I'm weak! I'm cowardly…" He looked at her with desperation, "Don't…don't ask that of me. Don't expect that much of me…"

"You understand yourself…which means you can take care of yourself." Asuka held his hand tightly in hers. "I want to learn what I am. Who I am…so please Shinji…take me there. Even if I hate myself at the end, if it's with you, I won't regret it. I can start taking care of myself."

"But how about if you end up hating me?"

"Than we'll have that place Shinji…" She smiled. "Our place. Just for the two of us. Right…?"

Shinji blurted, "Then…can you stay with me? Even if I start to lose my way…can you still stay with me?"

"As long as you still want me to." Asuka shook her head. "Because I don't want to be alone either."

They stood there, holding hands, and as one they stepped outside and began running away…no…not away…but towards something. There's always a place for just one person, but to find a place only for us…for us…is special.

I want to find it…with you…if you want me to.

I want to smile, cry, laugh, hate, and scream until I go deaf…as long as it's with you. So don't leave me alone and don't find that place by yourself.

Let me find it with you. Let me be a part of your happiness…and part of your pain.

I'll follow you…but only you. Only with you.

So don't let it stop raining…and don't let go of my hand.

tbc