Spike sat there on the couch, head back, eyes closed. Smoking. He was
thinking, pondering if you will, if he could even do that. He was
recounting the events at the amusement park and searching his feelings.
Faye had been kidnapped, it had happened before, and would probably happen
again. Why did he want to save her, why did he save her the last time?
Could he have possibly been using the excuse of Vicious to rescue Faye? But
he had wanted to kill Vicious. He listened to Jet's typing. Stupid
kidnappers hadn't even left a complete note. He knew deep down he cared for
Faye, but he didn't know how to express it. He had only really had one love
of his life, and she was dead. Could he deal with rejection or that kind of
pain again? Getting too close to people was usually dangerous because you
left yourself open for all kinds of pain and torture. Although, being shot
was painful. Spike had been shot before, but heartbreak was different. You
couldn't take painkillers for that. The great Spike couldn't have
heartbreak that just wouldn't be cool; but then again, he couldn't just
abandon Faye. He opened one eye and stared the ceiling fan. Wondering what
as happening to her.
"Jet.I'm going to go take a look around in the swordfish.call me if anything comes up." He put his hands in his pockets, and left, with Jet staring curiously after him. He sighed and returned to the paper.there had to be some kind of clue.
_______________________________
Faye mumbled something, and opened her emerald green eyes. She felt groggy and lightheaded, almost as if she had a hangover, but she couldn't remember drinking. The world slowed in its spinning, and began to focus itself. Faye was slightly confused to find two men sleeping on a table in front of her; cards scattered all over the table. She looked around, trying to take in her surroundings. It was an old catholic church, stained glass windows, fractured colored light was littering the floor. It was almost peaceful.. "I've been here before," she thought. She looked in front of her to find two pairs of eyes staring back. She looked at them disgustedly.
"Good morning, Ms. Valentine. How did you sleep?" The first one said smugly. Faye rolled her eyes and glanced out the window. They were high up, must be in the loft. She was trying to see what possible ways she could escape.
"It's no use, sweet cheeks. We've already made sure that the only way you're getting out of here is when we have your lover boy."
"What the hell? Has everyone been reading my journal?" Faye glared at the floor.
"We didn't read any journal.. This information was sent to us by our inside guy," he started to back away. If there was one thing he learned from his mother, it was not to get in the way of an angry woman.
"All we have to do now is wait. Your boy toy has probably found our note and is on his way as we speak." The kidnappers sat at a table and began to play a card game. Faye felt tears in her eyes. He wouldn't come. She had acted so childish and she knew that she had probably ruined any chance of a romantic relationship between them. She stared out the window and watched the clouds go by, thinking.
_____________________________
Spike flew calmly over the city, but on the inside he was as nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs. He needed to see her again.. He had to ask her some things.. It was the first time in a long time that he didn't know what to do. He glared at the scanner in front of him and pounded it angrily.
"Where the hell are you?!"
"shhhhhhzzzzzzz...Spike..?" Jet's voice crackled over the COM link.
"I'm here." Spike tried to mask the frustration in his voice with a tone of indifference.
"Spike..I've analyzed the paper. There's a distinct trace of incense smoke on it. When I searched the computer for the type I found that it is only used in churches. My guess is they're hiding her in a church."
"There's only one church here, Jet, I'm gonna check it out." Spike reached for the off switch.
"Wait Spike. You nee-shhzzzzzzzzzzz."
___________________________
"-d back up. Wait for me." Jet said in to the COM link.
"Shhhhhhzzzzzzzzz."
"Damn you Spike." Jet slammed down his end of the device and ran to his ship. "That idiot is gonna get himself killed..again." The Hammer Head's engine fired up and he piloted it out of the Bebop.
_____________________________
Faye's stomach grumbled.
"Why you lyin cheatin.I'm not playin cards with you anymore!" This was the fortieth fight those two had had over that stupid card game. Faye frowned at them.
"Leave it to me to get caught by the two stooges," she thought grumpily to herself. There was an electronic beep from over by the kidnappers, and she turned her attention to them. One of them was up inspecting an old looking computer screen.
"Ha..you see? Your knight has arrived." Faye couldn't help feeling happy, or at least relieved. Maybe he really did care.but she couldn't help doubting that maybe it was the principle of the thing that really caused Spike to come.
___________________________
The Sword Fish touched down gently in front of the old church. Spike jumped out and gazed at the run down building.
"Why does it always have to be a church?" He asked the sky. He pulled out his gun and checked the ammunition. "Here we go again." He returned the gun to his pocket and walked into the church, prepared for the worst.
_________________________
The kidnappers moved to the edge of the loft and watched as Spike entered.
"At last Prince Charming has arrived to save his damsel in distress." Spike looked up at the two of them.
"Where's the girl?" Spikes question made Faye growled, she still was a little upset about the other night
"Oh so I'm just some girl?"
"I didn't mean that Faye." Spike tried frantically to defend himself, from Faye's oncoming verbal onslaught.
"Sure, you jerk!"
"Hey I came here to rescue you!"
"Sure you di-"
"Enough! Both of you!" The first guy pulled out his gun. "We want to avenge Vicious.So..prepare to die!" Spike looked at them.
"Are you guys serious? Vicious is dead, so are the Syndicates." The first guy shot at Spike, missing him by a fraction. "I guess that answers my question." Both kidnappers began to unload their guns at the dodging Spike.
"This isn't a game!" One of them yelled. The second one headed for the stairs, to meet Spike on even ground. He dodged behind the seats and reloaded. Shafts of colored light, held in the dust, made the scene that beautiful kind of deadliness. The guy began shooting at where he thought Spike was hiding. Having reloaded Spike crawled through the chairs, getting closer to the stupid attacker, who was just unloading his weapon at an innocent chair. Spike stood up and leveled the gun at his head.
"You might as well stop now." He said coolly. The guy's eyes went wide, and he stopped, swallowing hard. He dropped his gun and put his hands up. Spike smiled, he felt like a hero again. He picked up the gun.
"You were foolish to make an enemy of me." Spike was still as a bullet entered his side. He went down to one knee gasping for breath. He looked toward the stairs. The second man had Faye in a chokehold and was pointing his gun straight at Spike.
"You're out of practice, Spiegel." The first guy laughed and kicked the guns out of Spikes hand, under the pew.
"You've lost your touch." He began beating him, repeatedly kicking him in the sides. He picked Spike up by the color, and punched in the face. Spitting blood, Spike collapsed onto the floor. The man smiled sadistically and began kicking Spike where the bullet went in. The man stopped long enough to grin happily at his partner. Spike, painfully began to crawl across the floor, towards the pews, with the attacker smiling down on him.
"Beg for mercy." He kicked Spike again. Spike froze in his crawl, for a second. Black spots swam in fron to his eyes as he tried to force of the darkness.
"I said beg for mercy, you piece of shit." Spike reached the guns, where the guy had kicked them. He slid his hand over the grip slowly, not wanting to alert his attacker. He gripped the cold metal.
"Beg for mercy!" The man yelled. Spike turned to him, his hand still hidden in the shadow.
"The dead don't beg mercy from the living." Spike reached for the gun turned and shot the first guy. He crumpled to the floor, sputtering curses. Faye gasped, and the second guy leveled, and shot at Spike. Spike attempted to roll away from it, but caught the bullet in his shoulder. Spike still had his gun aimed at the remaining guy, who now had his gun pointed at Faye's head. Faye looked Spike in the eyes.
"It's over, Spike Spiegel. I will kill the man who killed Vicious."
"I'm already dead though," Spike staggered to his feet, catching Faye's controlled expression.
"Just like old times, Spike." She smiled, Spike smiled back and shot. The bullet went right threw the guys head, splattering blood. Faye breathed, with her neck released, and didn't even flinch at the death around her. Spike sank back to the floor, unable to bear his weight.
"I didn't think you would come." Faye said, kneeling down by his side. The blood was still flowing, and she bit her lip in concern. "Spike..are you.?"
"Shhh." He put his finger to her lips.
"Spike.I."She cradled his head in her arms.
"Faye.I'm sorry for being insensitive.."
"It doesn't matter," she felt the tears falling, and cursed herself inside for being so weak.
"You know.I'd follow you to the ends of the universe.. if you asked me to.." He sighed, and raised his hand feebly to wipe her tears..
"Spike..I would follow you too..but I don't know if you want me." She shivered. Spike coughed, and began to gasp for air..
"Spike just rest.you'll be alright." He smiled at her, the light in his eyes fading. The stain glass window of the Virgin Mary stared down at him, light illuminating her beautiful face. In the distance, he could here an engine powering down, and the sound of wind kissed chimes.
"What... makes you ...think.. I wouldn't ..want you?" Faye looked away from his eyes, not wanting him to see the torment in her eyes. He closed his eyes. "It's good to be in your embrace one more time..," he began to slip into unconsciousness "....Julia."
_______________________________________
Jet found a shocked Faye holding an unconscious Spike. Tears were trickling freely down Faye's pale face. Jet kneeled silently by Spike, and checked his neck for a pulse.
"He's still alive Faye, don't worry he'll be alright." Jet placed his arms around Spike and lifted him up. Faye blinked. Jet had no idea why she was crying. Spike would be fine.. but he still loved Julia. Jet carried Spike to the Hammer head, and Faye followed slowly behind, still favoring her shattered heart.
"Faye?" She pulled herself from the nothingness that had encircled her. "Faye could you fly the Sword Fish back? I think Spike would have wanted you to." Faye nodded, and climbed into the cockpit. She laid her hand on the controls. Images of Spike came flooding to her, along with a new wave of tears. She started the engine and glided into the air, believing that she could lose herself in the thermals, and she wouldn't have to care.
________________________________
Spike walked down the dark streets, clouds covered the sky. Rain. Beautiful pure rain. He walked down the street. Rain, puddles, at his feet. He walked, in the rain. His hands were in his trench coat, he shivered for fear of something. He turned the corner, not knowing where he was heading. Just walking, in the rain, water beneath his feet. He looked up, tombstones stood as sentinels, on soaked grass. Grass, bent with drops of rain. A tree, light through the leaves, refracted in the drops, ever present rain. He walked to a tombstone, washed clean. He knelt. It was his name. There was no color, everything muted by the gray. He turned slightly, and something caught his eye. Beneath the tree was a rose, red, like blood. He walked over to it, picked it up, the thorns pricked his fingers, but he couldn't feel them. The rain started again. It dripped through the leaves. He heard footsteps, and turned.
"We meet again Spike."
"...Julia." He stood there staring, the rose clutched in his hands. "How?" She laughed, gently, it sounded like music. How he had missed that laugh, that smile. She looked at him, and shook her head, smiling knowingly.
"My poor Spike. Look what you are doing to yourself." She pointed at his hand, and for once he looked down. The rose's stem had cut deeply into his hands as he gripped it, the blood was running through his fingers. He looked back at Julia.
"Spike...It's time to let go. Can't you see, you're just hurting yourself." He looked back at the rose. "It's time Spike..you don't need to hold on any longer."
He dropped the rose, it fell with his tears, but before it touched the ground it shattered into tiny white particles of light.
"Wait..Julia!" Her image began to fade.
"Spike, there's someone else for you. I want you to be happy...everything will turn out right." Her voice trailed off as she was gone. The clouds faded away quickly. The tombstone was bathed in a soft glow. It looked, almost holy. Spike walked back to the tombstone to find the name covered in purple flowers. Spike smiled. It was time to move on.
_____________________
He opened his eyes, the familiar fan caught his eyes. He turned his head, expecting to see Faye playing cards, like she had been the last time. Jet was sitting at the computer screen, but it wasn't on.
"Hey Jet."
"Spike.. I'm glad you're awake." Spike's brow furrowed a little. Jet didn't sound all that happy.
"What's wrong Jet?" Jet just shook his head. "Where's Faye, I need to talk to her." Jet looked at Spike, confused, and somewhat sad.
"Spike.Faye's gone."
"What?!" He sat up straight, wincing as his body reminded him of what he had been through. "But.I..need to talk to her. She just.left?"
"After we got you back, she said she had to go, that it would be better if she left. She told me to tell you.. not to worry and that she would be fine, if you cared to know." Jet looked down at the ground not wanting to answer the confused looks he was getting.
"I don't get it."
"Spike, what did you say to her, when you rescued her?"
"I said.," he leaned back trying to remember. "I said that I would follow her to the ends of the universe if she asked me too. Why?"
"I asked her..because I know she had a thing for you and all.she said that she couldn't compete with a ghost, and it would be better for all of us, if she left."
"A ghost? ..Why didn't you stop her, Jet?!" Spike got up, angrier now.
"I don't know.she was so upset when I found her, and she just seemed happier to be leaving..I don't know. I wasn't thinking, ok?!" Spike got up and walked to Faye's room. He opened the door, and found what he had hoped he wouldn't. It was clean, of everything. It had never been this clean before. Her stuff was gone. He knew what he wanted to do, and now he couldn't do.
"Just when I had everything figured out," he muttered to himself. He sat dejectedly on the bed, and was surprised to find himself being poked, rather uncomfortably. He frowned at the mattress, and pulled up the corner. Underneath was a small makeshift book of stapled papers. Written in scrawling handwriting was the label: "Temporary Journal". He opened it to the last written page, and lowered himself, carefully, back onto the bed.
______________________
(Faye Valentine's Journal)
Cry on a bed of lilies, white.
Scream you pain to the starless dark, night.
Nectar of life, so sweet you seem,
When death at last hath come for me.
There he lay on grass, green.
Leaves whisper, past unseen.
Stare at his peace,
Long for his embrace.
Death freeze thy heart.
Hand through his hair.
Lips upon cheek.
Peer into his dreams, for you aren't there.
Away from him, stay death.
Blood upon stone,
Heart in shreds,
Soul in torment,
World without end,
Except for death.
Arise from his side,
'Tis not your place,
Leave always, yearning for his face.
Death come quickly.
Carry me away, black wings.
Steer clear of hell,
The earth I held dear.
Tell him goodbye,
from a heart that won't heal.
Cry on a bed of lilies, white.
Scream you pain to the starless dark, night.
Nectar of life, so sweet you seem,
When death at last hath come for me.
Walk alone, path of fright,
Called away from my bed this night.
Tear for thou who me hath never known.
Unlikely solace found.
Not alone at last,
Stars beneath my feet,
Death my lover,
I do not weep.
Carry me away, black wings.
I wish to be free.
Uncage my soul from the uncaring Dream.
Destruction of the self, finally to home.
A cruel game,
Hearts of glass,
Hearts of stone,
Which one do you own?
Till love hath bled your tears,
Not will you know.
Delirium precious child, smile.
Dream, forget what never was.
Desire not, for thou art gone.
Destiny bury me quickly,
Despair, with fresh innocence.
But I have no more to fear,
For Death, my deliverer is here.
I can't be here anymore, I feel so dead to the world. He still and always will carry a torch for Julia, his devil from paradise. I can't be her; I am not what he wants. I am not good enough for him. I will always be a pain in his side, sometimes literally, for I am just a weak child who needs to be protected. I hate how weak I feel when I'm around him. I need to be stronger, but I can't do that, if I have to look at him everyday for the rest of my life, with the constant reminder that I will never be worth enough or deserve his love, I will die. They wouldn't notice though, for I would be eaten from the inside. One can not live without a heart. Love is the not having to care, but that you still do care. I don't want to have to care anymore, to break my heart each time. Perhaps I am just a coward. It will be better if I leave, the sooner the better. While you were sleeping, Spike. That's when I leave. Farewell my friend. I would have been so good to you, but you will never know.
Yours Never, Faye Valentine
_____________________________________________
Spike glanced up to find Jet leaning against the doorframe.
"I'm going to find her.. I have to find her." Jet grinned at Spike.
"It's about time, my friend."
_____________________________
Hey peeps!
Ok! I know it's been forever since I've updated, but here we go. I had fun writing this one, so I hope you enjoy it. Tell me what you think, and I should have another chapter up soon. Thanks everyone.
Yours Truly, Lady Olethros
"Jet.I'm going to go take a look around in the swordfish.call me if anything comes up." He put his hands in his pockets, and left, with Jet staring curiously after him. He sighed and returned to the paper.there had to be some kind of clue.
_______________________________
Faye mumbled something, and opened her emerald green eyes. She felt groggy and lightheaded, almost as if she had a hangover, but she couldn't remember drinking. The world slowed in its spinning, and began to focus itself. Faye was slightly confused to find two men sleeping on a table in front of her; cards scattered all over the table. She looked around, trying to take in her surroundings. It was an old catholic church, stained glass windows, fractured colored light was littering the floor. It was almost peaceful.. "I've been here before," she thought. She looked in front of her to find two pairs of eyes staring back. She looked at them disgustedly.
"Good morning, Ms. Valentine. How did you sleep?" The first one said smugly. Faye rolled her eyes and glanced out the window. They were high up, must be in the loft. She was trying to see what possible ways she could escape.
"It's no use, sweet cheeks. We've already made sure that the only way you're getting out of here is when we have your lover boy."
"What the hell? Has everyone been reading my journal?" Faye glared at the floor.
"We didn't read any journal.. This information was sent to us by our inside guy," he started to back away. If there was one thing he learned from his mother, it was not to get in the way of an angry woman.
"All we have to do now is wait. Your boy toy has probably found our note and is on his way as we speak." The kidnappers sat at a table and began to play a card game. Faye felt tears in her eyes. He wouldn't come. She had acted so childish and she knew that she had probably ruined any chance of a romantic relationship between them. She stared out the window and watched the clouds go by, thinking.
_____________________________
Spike flew calmly over the city, but on the inside he was as nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs. He needed to see her again.. He had to ask her some things.. It was the first time in a long time that he didn't know what to do. He glared at the scanner in front of him and pounded it angrily.
"Where the hell are you?!"
"shhhhhhzzzzzzz...Spike..?" Jet's voice crackled over the COM link.
"I'm here." Spike tried to mask the frustration in his voice with a tone of indifference.
"Spike..I've analyzed the paper. There's a distinct trace of incense smoke on it. When I searched the computer for the type I found that it is only used in churches. My guess is they're hiding her in a church."
"There's only one church here, Jet, I'm gonna check it out." Spike reached for the off switch.
"Wait Spike. You nee-shhzzzzzzzzzzz."
___________________________
"-d back up. Wait for me." Jet said in to the COM link.
"Shhhhhhzzzzzzzzz."
"Damn you Spike." Jet slammed down his end of the device and ran to his ship. "That idiot is gonna get himself killed..again." The Hammer Head's engine fired up and he piloted it out of the Bebop.
_____________________________
Faye's stomach grumbled.
"Why you lyin cheatin.I'm not playin cards with you anymore!" This was the fortieth fight those two had had over that stupid card game. Faye frowned at them.
"Leave it to me to get caught by the two stooges," she thought grumpily to herself. There was an electronic beep from over by the kidnappers, and she turned her attention to them. One of them was up inspecting an old looking computer screen.
"Ha..you see? Your knight has arrived." Faye couldn't help feeling happy, or at least relieved. Maybe he really did care.but she couldn't help doubting that maybe it was the principle of the thing that really caused Spike to come.
___________________________
The Sword Fish touched down gently in front of the old church. Spike jumped out and gazed at the run down building.
"Why does it always have to be a church?" He asked the sky. He pulled out his gun and checked the ammunition. "Here we go again." He returned the gun to his pocket and walked into the church, prepared for the worst.
_________________________
The kidnappers moved to the edge of the loft and watched as Spike entered.
"At last Prince Charming has arrived to save his damsel in distress." Spike looked up at the two of them.
"Where's the girl?" Spikes question made Faye growled, she still was a little upset about the other night
"Oh so I'm just some girl?"
"I didn't mean that Faye." Spike tried frantically to defend himself, from Faye's oncoming verbal onslaught.
"Sure, you jerk!"
"Hey I came here to rescue you!"
"Sure you di-"
"Enough! Both of you!" The first guy pulled out his gun. "We want to avenge Vicious.So..prepare to die!" Spike looked at them.
"Are you guys serious? Vicious is dead, so are the Syndicates." The first guy shot at Spike, missing him by a fraction. "I guess that answers my question." Both kidnappers began to unload their guns at the dodging Spike.
"This isn't a game!" One of them yelled. The second one headed for the stairs, to meet Spike on even ground. He dodged behind the seats and reloaded. Shafts of colored light, held in the dust, made the scene that beautiful kind of deadliness. The guy began shooting at where he thought Spike was hiding. Having reloaded Spike crawled through the chairs, getting closer to the stupid attacker, who was just unloading his weapon at an innocent chair. Spike stood up and leveled the gun at his head.
"You might as well stop now." He said coolly. The guy's eyes went wide, and he stopped, swallowing hard. He dropped his gun and put his hands up. Spike smiled, he felt like a hero again. He picked up the gun.
"You were foolish to make an enemy of me." Spike was still as a bullet entered his side. He went down to one knee gasping for breath. He looked toward the stairs. The second man had Faye in a chokehold and was pointing his gun straight at Spike.
"You're out of practice, Spiegel." The first guy laughed and kicked the guns out of Spikes hand, under the pew.
"You've lost your touch." He began beating him, repeatedly kicking him in the sides. He picked Spike up by the color, and punched in the face. Spitting blood, Spike collapsed onto the floor. The man smiled sadistically and began kicking Spike where the bullet went in. The man stopped long enough to grin happily at his partner. Spike, painfully began to crawl across the floor, towards the pews, with the attacker smiling down on him.
"Beg for mercy." He kicked Spike again. Spike froze in his crawl, for a second. Black spots swam in fron to his eyes as he tried to force of the darkness.
"I said beg for mercy, you piece of shit." Spike reached the guns, where the guy had kicked them. He slid his hand over the grip slowly, not wanting to alert his attacker. He gripped the cold metal.
"Beg for mercy!" The man yelled. Spike turned to him, his hand still hidden in the shadow.
"The dead don't beg mercy from the living." Spike reached for the gun turned and shot the first guy. He crumpled to the floor, sputtering curses. Faye gasped, and the second guy leveled, and shot at Spike. Spike attempted to roll away from it, but caught the bullet in his shoulder. Spike still had his gun aimed at the remaining guy, who now had his gun pointed at Faye's head. Faye looked Spike in the eyes.
"It's over, Spike Spiegel. I will kill the man who killed Vicious."
"I'm already dead though," Spike staggered to his feet, catching Faye's controlled expression.
"Just like old times, Spike." She smiled, Spike smiled back and shot. The bullet went right threw the guys head, splattering blood. Faye breathed, with her neck released, and didn't even flinch at the death around her. Spike sank back to the floor, unable to bear his weight.
"I didn't think you would come." Faye said, kneeling down by his side. The blood was still flowing, and she bit her lip in concern. "Spike..are you.?"
"Shhh." He put his finger to her lips.
"Spike.I."She cradled his head in her arms.
"Faye.I'm sorry for being insensitive.."
"It doesn't matter," she felt the tears falling, and cursed herself inside for being so weak.
"You know.I'd follow you to the ends of the universe.. if you asked me to.." He sighed, and raised his hand feebly to wipe her tears..
"Spike..I would follow you too..but I don't know if you want me." She shivered. Spike coughed, and began to gasp for air..
"Spike just rest.you'll be alright." He smiled at her, the light in his eyes fading. The stain glass window of the Virgin Mary stared down at him, light illuminating her beautiful face. In the distance, he could here an engine powering down, and the sound of wind kissed chimes.
"What... makes you ...think.. I wouldn't ..want you?" Faye looked away from his eyes, not wanting him to see the torment in her eyes. He closed his eyes. "It's good to be in your embrace one more time..," he began to slip into unconsciousness "....Julia."
_______________________________________
Jet found a shocked Faye holding an unconscious Spike. Tears were trickling freely down Faye's pale face. Jet kneeled silently by Spike, and checked his neck for a pulse.
"He's still alive Faye, don't worry he'll be alright." Jet placed his arms around Spike and lifted him up. Faye blinked. Jet had no idea why she was crying. Spike would be fine.. but he still loved Julia. Jet carried Spike to the Hammer head, and Faye followed slowly behind, still favoring her shattered heart.
"Faye?" She pulled herself from the nothingness that had encircled her. "Faye could you fly the Sword Fish back? I think Spike would have wanted you to." Faye nodded, and climbed into the cockpit. She laid her hand on the controls. Images of Spike came flooding to her, along with a new wave of tears. She started the engine and glided into the air, believing that she could lose herself in the thermals, and she wouldn't have to care.
________________________________
Spike walked down the dark streets, clouds covered the sky. Rain. Beautiful pure rain. He walked down the street. Rain, puddles, at his feet. He walked, in the rain. His hands were in his trench coat, he shivered for fear of something. He turned the corner, not knowing where he was heading. Just walking, in the rain, water beneath his feet. He looked up, tombstones stood as sentinels, on soaked grass. Grass, bent with drops of rain. A tree, light through the leaves, refracted in the drops, ever present rain. He walked to a tombstone, washed clean. He knelt. It was his name. There was no color, everything muted by the gray. He turned slightly, and something caught his eye. Beneath the tree was a rose, red, like blood. He walked over to it, picked it up, the thorns pricked his fingers, but he couldn't feel them. The rain started again. It dripped through the leaves. He heard footsteps, and turned.
"We meet again Spike."
"...Julia." He stood there staring, the rose clutched in his hands. "How?" She laughed, gently, it sounded like music. How he had missed that laugh, that smile. She looked at him, and shook her head, smiling knowingly.
"My poor Spike. Look what you are doing to yourself." She pointed at his hand, and for once he looked down. The rose's stem had cut deeply into his hands as he gripped it, the blood was running through his fingers. He looked back at Julia.
"Spike...It's time to let go. Can't you see, you're just hurting yourself." He looked back at the rose. "It's time Spike..you don't need to hold on any longer."
He dropped the rose, it fell with his tears, but before it touched the ground it shattered into tiny white particles of light.
"Wait..Julia!" Her image began to fade.
"Spike, there's someone else for you. I want you to be happy...everything will turn out right." Her voice trailed off as she was gone. The clouds faded away quickly. The tombstone was bathed in a soft glow. It looked, almost holy. Spike walked back to the tombstone to find the name covered in purple flowers. Spike smiled. It was time to move on.
_____________________
He opened his eyes, the familiar fan caught his eyes. He turned his head, expecting to see Faye playing cards, like she had been the last time. Jet was sitting at the computer screen, but it wasn't on.
"Hey Jet."
"Spike.. I'm glad you're awake." Spike's brow furrowed a little. Jet didn't sound all that happy.
"What's wrong Jet?" Jet just shook his head. "Where's Faye, I need to talk to her." Jet looked at Spike, confused, and somewhat sad.
"Spike.Faye's gone."
"What?!" He sat up straight, wincing as his body reminded him of what he had been through. "But.I..need to talk to her. She just.left?"
"After we got you back, she said she had to go, that it would be better if she left. She told me to tell you.. not to worry and that she would be fine, if you cared to know." Jet looked down at the ground not wanting to answer the confused looks he was getting.
"I don't get it."
"Spike, what did you say to her, when you rescued her?"
"I said.," he leaned back trying to remember. "I said that I would follow her to the ends of the universe if she asked me too. Why?"
"I asked her..because I know she had a thing for you and all.she said that she couldn't compete with a ghost, and it would be better for all of us, if she left."
"A ghost? ..Why didn't you stop her, Jet?!" Spike got up, angrier now.
"I don't know.she was so upset when I found her, and she just seemed happier to be leaving..I don't know. I wasn't thinking, ok?!" Spike got up and walked to Faye's room. He opened the door, and found what he had hoped he wouldn't. It was clean, of everything. It had never been this clean before. Her stuff was gone. He knew what he wanted to do, and now he couldn't do.
"Just when I had everything figured out," he muttered to himself. He sat dejectedly on the bed, and was surprised to find himself being poked, rather uncomfortably. He frowned at the mattress, and pulled up the corner. Underneath was a small makeshift book of stapled papers. Written in scrawling handwriting was the label: "Temporary Journal". He opened it to the last written page, and lowered himself, carefully, back onto the bed.
______________________
(Faye Valentine's Journal)
Cry on a bed of lilies, white.
Scream you pain to the starless dark, night.
Nectar of life, so sweet you seem,
When death at last hath come for me.
There he lay on grass, green.
Leaves whisper, past unseen.
Stare at his peace,
Long for his embrace.
Death freeze thy heart.
Hand through his hair.
Lips upon cheek.
Peer into his dreams, for you aren't there.
Away from him, stay death.
Blood upon stone,
Heart in shreds,
Soul in torment,
World without end,
Except for death.
Arise from his side,
'Tis not your place,
Leave always, yearning for his face.
Death come quickly.
Carry me away, black wings.
Steer clear of hell,
The earth I held dear.
Tell him goodbye,
from a heart that won't heal.
Cry on a bed of lilies, white.
Scream you pain to the starless dark, night.
Nectar of life, so sweet you seem,
When death at last hath come for me.
Walk alone, path of fright,
Called away from my bed this night.
Tear for thou who me hath never known.
Unlikely solace found.
Not alone at last,
Stars beneath my feet,
Death my lover,
I do not weep.
Carry me away, black wings.
I wish to be free.
Uncage my soul from the uncaring Dream.
Destruction of the self, finally to home.
A cruel game,
Hearts of glass,
Hearts of stone,
Which one do you own?
Till love hath bled your tears,
Not will you know.
Delirium precious child, smile.
Dream, forget what never was.
Desire not, for thou art gone.
Destiny bury me quickly,
Despair, with fresh innocence.
But I have no more to fear,
For Death, my deliverer is here.
I can't be here anymore, I feel so dead to the world. He still and always will carry a torch for Julia, his devil from paradise. I can't be her; I am not what he wants. I am not good enough for him. I will always be a pain in his side, sometimes literally, for I am just a weak child who needs to be protected. I hate how weak I feel when I'm around him. I need to be stronger, but I can't do that, if I have to look at him everyday for the rest of my life, with the constant reminder that I will never be worth enough or deserve his love, I will die. They wouldn't notice though, for I would be eaten from the inside. One can not live without a heart. Love is the not having to care, but that you still do care. I don't want to have to care anymore, to break my heart each time. Perhaps I am just a coward. It will be better if I leave, the sooner the better. While you were sleeping, Spike. That's when I leave. Farewell my friend. I would have been so good to you, but you will never know.
Yours Never, Faye Valentine
_____________________________________________
Spike glanced up to find Jet leaning against the doorframe.
"I'm going to find her.. I have to find her." Jet grinned at Spike.
"It's about time, my friend."
_____________________________
Hey peeps!
Ok! I know it's been forever since I've updated, but here we go. I had fun writing this one, so I hope you enjoy it. Tell me what you think, and I should have another chapter up soon. Thanks everyone.
Yours Truly, Lady Olethros