This part is gonna be a bit shorter than the other chapters, but
I think it's worth it despite being short. ^^ The
confrontation happens at last. Buwaha!
Warning: Slight OOCness (again) and the 'f' word. Yep. Fuck.
Have fun reading! And thanks for reviewing! ^^
***
"HOLY SHIT!"
Duo flew away from the door as Wufei knocked and asked to come in. He was about to go out in his new little nightly routine and had had his hand on the doorknob.
"I- I mean- uh- sure-" he stammered squeakily, trying to push his heart into his chest again as the door creaked open. "Damn it, that has to be the -third- fucking time I've nearly had a heart attack within the past week!"
To make the embarrassment worse, Wufei seemed to find him having a heart attack completely hilarious. It started as a low chuckle and grew into a full laugh, making him double over and have to hold on to the door to keep from falling down on the carpet.
"Shh! God, you're gonna wake the others up if I haven't already with that 'Holy Shit'!" Duo hissed vehemently, pulling him upright and shutting the door.
"I'm sorry- just that look on your face- was funny-" Wufei snickered.
"I'm glad you found it so amusing," he said sarcastically, rolling his eyes. "So what has you coming to my room at midnight, eh? I'm sure it has nothing to do with scaring me shitless."
"Oh yes, that..." The mirth that had made him glow suddenly diminished to the usual impassive façade as he sat on the edge of the bed.
Duo had the distinct notion that he should sit down too and dropped down on the floor in front of Wufei, surveying him closely. "And?..."
He cleared his throat. "I know everything, Duo. When you had the fever at the cabin...At first I thought you were only dreaming, but then I realized that you were reliving bad memories..." He paused apprehensively as Duo went pale.
He had been right. "No kidding," he smiled oddly. "So am I as pathetic as you thought I was, or do I surpass even your expectations? No better than one of those 'weak women', cryin' in my sleep, right? Is that what you've been thinkin' all along?"
Wufei was hit with his bitterness again and he was shocked, he hadn't been anticipating the backlash. "No, I did not consider that at all," he answered quietly, the desperation in his voice quickly melted Duo's anger. "To tell you the truth...I think I envy how you can show such emotions with no remorse. But- I'm not sure I know how to explain this- it's all very confusing. Hearing your memories that night in the cabin was like listening to my own, it scared me- I couldn't bring myself to say anything to you though...I was more afraid of -you- regarding -me- as...weak and pathetic."
Duo was, for once, absolutely speechless. Such a revelation from Wufei was like 'whoa', he couldn't compare it to anything. Not even Hitler saying he was really a Hasidic Jewish tzaddik after the horrors of the Holocaust could measure up. [1]
"How can one have so much emotion, yet turn around and mercilessly destroy their enemies without a second thought?" Wufei asked softly. "Soldiers are taught that the enemy is nothing but a target, not a human being with a family and friends, just another objective to obliterate in revenge for the damage done to themselves and their pride. I fought like that once, but then in the one night at the cabin listening to you woke up a part of me I thought was dead. I can't see how you and Quatre can fight like this."
Everything sort of fell into place then; all the questions and worries that Duo had had were resolved. It was his turn now. Wufei seemed to be trying his hardest to stay calm, but that was what was wrong.
Duo got up from the carpet and sat beside him, putting a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "Wufei, Quatre can do it only because he doesn't feel like he has to hold it all in and he isn't ashamed about it. As for me, it's the only reason I haven't pulled a Suicide Boy stunt. When I'm by myself, because unlike Q-man I do get humiliated, I just let it all out of my system. Even if it means beating the hell outta my pillow or cryin' in my sleep or whatever. That's all."
Wufei finally looked him in the eyes and a halfhearted smile managed to spread across his face. Then suddenly he leaned forward and kissed Duo.
***
Buwaha! Leaving it off at a good moment again! *evil grin*
[1] Hasidic Jewry is an almost fanatical, highly orthodox Jewish sect, they're the ones you see on the streets in all black with fringes, black skullcaps, long beards, and earlocks (really long sideburns that are curled). A tzaddik is the top rabbi of the sect; the tzaddik is like their spiritual link to God, or the equivalent to a church pastor. (For better explanations, read 'The Chosen' by Chaim Potok, it's a really good book about American Jews during the Holocaust.)
Warning: Slight OOCness (again) and the 'f' word. Yep. Fuck.
Have fun reading! And thanks for reviewing! ^^
***
"HOLY SHIT!"
Duo flew away from the door as Wufei knocked and asked to come in. He was about to go out in his new little nightly routine and had had his hand on the doorknob.
"I- I mean- uh- sure-" he stammered squeakily, trying to push his heart into his chest again as the door creaked open. "Damn it, that has to be the -third- fucking time I've nearly had a heart attack within the past week!"
To make the embarrassment worse, Wufei seemed to find him having a heart attack completely hilarious. It started as a low chuckle and grew into a full laugh, making him double over and have to hold on to the door to keep from falling down on the carpet.
"Shh! God, you're gonna wake the others up if I haven't already with that 'Holy Shit'!" Duo hissed vehemently, pulling him upright and shutting the door.
"I'm sorry- just that look on your face- was funny-" Wufei snickered.
"I'm glad you found it so amusing," he said sarcastically, rolling his eyes. "So what has you coming to my room at midnight, eh? I'm sure it has nothing to do with scaring me shitless."
"Oh yes, that..." The mirth that had made him glow suddenly diminished to the usual impassive façade as he sat on the edge of the bed.
Duo had the distinct notion that he should sit down too and dropped down on the floor in front of Wufei, surveying him closely. "And?..."
He cleared his throat. "I know everything, Duo. When you had the fever at the cabin...At first I thought you were only dreaming, but then I realized that you were reliving bad memories..." He paused apprehensively as Duo went pale.
He had been right. "No kidding," he smiled oddly. "So am I as pathetic as you thought I was, or do I surpass even your expectations? No better than one of those 'weak women', cryin' in my sleep, right? Is that what you've been thinkin' all along?"
Wufei was hit with his bitterness again and he was shocked, he hadn't been anticipating the backlash. "No, I did not consider that at all," he answered quietly, the desperation in his voice quickly melted Duo's anger. "To tell you the truth...I think I envy how you can show such emotions with no remorse. But- I'm not sure I know how to explain this- it's all very confusing. Hearing your memories that night in the cabin was like listening to my own, it scared me- I couldn't bring myself to say anything to you though...I was more afraid of -you- regarding -me- as...weak and pathetic."
Duo was, for once, absolutely speechless. Such a revelation from Wufei was like 'whoa', he couldn't compare it to anything. Not even Hitler saying he was really a Hasidic Jewish tzaddik after the horrors of the Holocaust could measure up. [1]
"How can one have so much emotion, yet turn around and mercilessly destroy their enemies without a second thought?" Wufei asked softly. "Soldiers are taught that the enemy is nothing but a target, not a human being with a family and friends, just another objective to obliterate in revenge for the damage done to themselves and their pride. I fought like that once, but then in the one night at the cabin listening to you woke up a part of me I thought was dead. I can't see how you and Quatre can fight like this."
Everything sort of fell into place then; all the questions and worries that Duo had had were resolved. It was his turn now. Wufei seemed to be trying his hardest to stay calm, but that was what was wrong.
Duo got up from the carpet and sat beside him, putting a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "Wufei, Quatre can do it only because he doesn't feel like he has to hold it all in and he isn't ashamed about it. As for me, it's the only reason I haven't pulled a Suicide Boy stunt. When I'm by myself, because unlike Q-man I do get humiliated, I just let it all out of my system. Even if it means beating the hell outta my pillow or cryin' in my sleep or whatever. That's all."
Wufei finally looked him in the eyes and a halfhearted smile managed to spread across his face. Then suddenly he leaned forward and kissed Duo.
***
Buwaha! Leaving it off at a good moment again! *evil grin*
[1] Hasidic Jewry is an almost fanatical, highly orthodox Jewish sect, they're the ones you see on the streets in all black with fringes, black skullcaps, long beards, and earlocks (really long sideburns that are curled). A tzaddik is the top rabbi of the sect; the tzaddik is like their spiritual link to God, or the equivalent to a church pastor. (For better explanations, read 'The Chosen' by Chaim Potok, it's a really good book about American Jews during the Holocaust.)