Scene 2
(The Morrel household. Syaoran is looking at the cashing box.)
Syaoran: Great, no pay for me. This is great. What
a sad play this is.
(Sakura comes in.)
Sakura: Syaoran, my father wants to
see you. I should think it is about
the amount of money we need to pay the banks.
Syaoran: Oh, great. Just great. Didn't I say
that already?
Sakura: Yes, now go. I'll take care of what you were doing for a while. What were you doing?
Syaoran: Nothing. That's what. Maybe you
could just stand there and do…nothing.
Sakura: You're being cold with me,
Syaoran. That's not nice.
Syaoran: (alarmed) No, I'm not. I'm only reciting what the script said. I'm sorry, Sakura. Really,
I am.
Sakura: (near tears) You hate me.
Syaoran: No, I don't. (runs out
before Sakura could cry out and start blaming Syaoran)
Sakura: (sniffs and stands near the
cashing box)
(Lantis comes in, dressed in a cloak)
Lantis: Excuse me, madam, but is your
father home? I would like to speak
to M. Ferio Morrel. I am a
representative of the French bank in London.
Sakura: French bank in London? What prank are you trying to pull? I thought Aeka has already fixed you up, Lantis. You look the same. I could tell who you are, you know.
Lantis: Can you not fuss about my
disguises? Sheesh, nobody's
perfect.
Sakura: (sighs) My father is
upstairs, speaking to Syaoran. I'll
go to him immediately.
(as Sakura leaves, Morrel's son
comes in, which is played by Ferio)
Ferio: Hello.
Lantis: (surprised) Wow that was
fast.
Ferio: What was?
Lantis: Your daughter was just going
to fetch you.
Ferio: What daughter?
Lantis: Sakura!
Ferio: That's not my daughter,
Sakura's my sister!
Lantis: Could've fooled me. What are you doing here? You're
supposed to be upstairs playing the father.
Ferio: (alarmed) Oh my! I have to go.
(Ferio runs up the stairs and runs
back down, panting.)
Ferio: I'm M. Morrel. What do you want to speak of me?
Lantis: (scratches his head) Are you
the son or the father?
Ferio: I'm (pant) the (cough)
father (pant cough).
Lantis: Oh, ok. I am here to ask for the money that you owe our French bank in London.
Ferio: French bank in London? What the heck are you talking about?
Lantis: The point is, you owe us
money.
Ferio: No, I don't.
Lantis: Yes, you do.
Ferio: No, I don't.
Lantis: Yes, you do!
Ferio: You owe me money!
Lantis: I do?
Ferio: Not really.
Lantis: I give you three days. If you don't give me the money by then, you will have to
declare yourself bankrupt.
Ferio: How much do I owe anyway?
Lantis: I don't know.
Ferio: But you're the banker!
Lantis: Fine, I do know. You owe the bank a dollar.
Ferio: A dollar? (bursts out
laughing) And I'm supposed to pay this in three days? This is a joke.
Lantis: (angry) You owe us a dollar
per day you had your ship sailing in that sea.
Ferio: And that would be?
Lantis: (counting on his fingers
because he can't add in his head) Um…two plus two…times three…13…no,
that's not right.
Ferio: 12 dollars?
Lantis: No, you owe us 12,000
dollars.
Ferio: WHAT?!
Lantis: Yeah, that's it.
Ferio: (shaking his head sadly) But I
don't have that much money! How
can I pay that much money to your bank? I
don't even think your bank exists!
Lantis: (takes out a list) You also
owe money to a company, and that is also due in three days. Better get rich soon.
Ferio: (takes the list from Lantis
and looks at it) Why is the company called London Company in France? This is unbelievable. I owe
money to places that are completely bonkers. Who wrote this script?
(weird voice comes back)
Weird Voice: I did. You have a problem?
Ferio: (gulps) Um…no. Okay, okay, give me three days to pay the money. If my ship the Pharaon doesn't come to the harbor in three days, then I
will die without paying.
Lantis: How are you going to manage
killing yourself?
Ferio: Easy. (he said cheerfully)
I'll help myself with one of those real prop guns Selphie bought. I could easily blow my brains out.
(from backstage, Fuu cries out)
Fuu: You are not going to kill
yourself! Stop talking nonsense!
Ferio: Oh yeah. I forgot. Well? Did you get a satisfactory answer, Count?
Lantis: Count? I didn't say I was the Count of Monte Cephiro. I'm only a representative of the French bank in London.
Ferio: Figures. Ok, I'll have my daughter show you the way out.
(Before he could call for anyone,
however, Kiyone comes in, tired)
Kiyone: M. Morrel! There is very bad news!
(Presea, playing the wife of M.
Morrel, also comes in, accompanied by Syaoran and Sakura)
Presea: What is the commotion here?
Ferio: (stares at Presea) You're my
wife?
Presea: (glares) I only show up in
this scene anyway. Just ignore me.
Sakura: What is wrong, Kiyone?
Kiyone: The Pharaon…it's…failed
to come!
Ferio: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Syaoran: Great, just great. Now I have no pay for another month. Sakura, I'm thinking of quitting this job.
Sakura: No, you're not. Have hope, Syaoran.
Lantis: (slinks away, watching the
group talking)
Ferio: (calms down) Tell me the
story, Kiyone. I want to know how
it failed to come.
Kiyone: (takes a deep breath) It was
a dark and scary night…
Presea: Give it up already. This isn't a scary story. We
want to know how it failed.
Kiyone: Oh, right. Um…it sank, I guess.
Ferio: Great, just great.
Syaoran: Hey, that's what I always
say.
Ferio: Now how am I going to pay
24,000 dollars to two banks?
Presea: You owe 24,000 dollars?
Sakura: (crossly) Yeah, to the French
bank in London and a London company in France. Makes no sense, since that man just left. How long do you have until you have to have it paid?
Ferio: Three days!
Kiyone: Um…it would be convenient
if I didn't get paid this time. Besides,
some guy just gave me a jewel rock, um…I mean diamond. I should be able to live with that for a while.
(everyone leaves, still talking,
except Sakura, who spots Lantis still standing there)
Sakura: Well? What do you expect from a poor family?
Lantis: Don't worry. In three
days' time, you will receive a letter from Sinbad the Sailor. You should do well to follow whatever the letter tells you to do.
Sakura: Even if it said to shoot my
father?
Lantis: No! Oh, just follow whatever it says. I'm
sure the letter doesn't say anything like that. Who knows, in three days' time, you could even get married to the young
man you love.
Sakura: (blush) Oh!
Lantis: I must go now.
Sakura: Um…sir?
Lantis: Yes?
Sakura: I should advice you not to
return home so soon.
Lantis: (eyes Sakura suspiciously)
Why not?
Sakura: Oh, just because you
shouldn't return home soon.
Lantis: Nonsense. I'm supposed to return home, that's what the script says. Good day, Sakura.
(Lantis leaves, and you could hear
him offstage)
Lantis: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! (runs
back onstage and then runs the other way)
(Abbè Mokona is seen bouncing to the
other side)
Mokona: Pu pu pu!
Sakura: (shrugging) Told him so.
Scene 3
(at the Morrel household, three days
later)
Ferio: (tired and sad) I don't have
any money. This is horrible. (walks
toward a table and writes something)
(Sakura comes in, concerned)
Sakura: Father? Are you okay? This isn't
putting you down, is it?
Ferio: (smiles) No, I'm just
thinking. You better go to your
mother. They need you. I need to be alone right now.
(Sakura leaves, and Ferio is picking
up a gun)
(Meanwhile, Sakura gets a letter from
Kiyone)
Kiyone: Someone named Sinbad the
Sailor sent this to you. You should
read it.
Sakura: (reads the letter) Cool. Father doesn't have to shoot himself now.
Kiyone: (surprised) Ferio was
planning to kill himself?
Sakura: Yep. He sent me away so I don't have to see him blow his brains out. How disgusting that might be.
Presea: What did you say about my
husband killing himself?
Sakura: Oh, nothing, mother.
Presea: By the way, your brother has
come home. Maybe Ferio would want
to go to his father?
Sakura and Kiyone: Huh?
Presea: You know, a father and son
reunion?
Sakura: I don't think so…
Kiyone: Yeah, since you can't play
two parts at the same time.
(Ferio, as the son, comes in)
Ferio: Sakura! I haven't seen you in years, sister!
Sakura: Father? Why aren't you upstairs?
Ferio: No, you must be mistaken, this
is Ferio.
Sakura: Yeah, my father's name is
Ferio too.
Presea: No, this is your brother.
Sakura: (looking blank) Oh, hello,
brother. Will you excuse me? I need to talk to Syaoran.
(Syaoran comes in)
Syaoran: I'm right here.
Sakura: Look at this letter.
Syaoran: (looks at the letter) Yeah,
and?
Sakura: Should I follow what it says?
Syaoran: But, doing what it says will
be illegal.
Sakura: Yeah, but some guy three days
ago said that if I wanted my father saved, I would have to follow the letter
written by Sinbad the Sailor.
Syaoran: Oh, that would be Lantis.
Sakura: How did you know?
Syaoran: He doesn't know how to
disguise himself.
Lantis: (from offstage) Stop making
fun of me!
(laughter in the audience)
Sakura: Okay, then, let's go and
buy this Sinbad the Sailor a cheeseburger.
Presea: A cheeseburger? How is that going to save Ferio?
Ferio: What about me? I'm in no trouble. I
don't want to die yet.
Kiyone: Not you. Your father.
Ferio: Oh, what about my father?
(Sakura and Syaoran leaves)
Presea: Your father is going to kill
himself.
Ferio: (not surprised) Oh, that's a
surprise.
Kiyone: I should go now.
(Kiyone leaves)
Presea: Let's go check on your
father.
Ferio: Um…I can't do that.
Presea: Why not?
Ferio: Because I'm not supposed to. I play the father, and so I can't be in two places at once.
Presea: Then stay here and
do…nothing.
Ferio: Fine.
Scene 4
(Ferio, the father, is in his room,
holding a revolver. He is about to
shoot himself when he pointed the gun away from his head. Suddenly, Sakura barges in, screaming.)
Sakura: FATHER! Don't shoot! You're
saved!
Ferio: (accidentally pushes the
trigger and shoots, hitting a book) AAAHHH! My script! How am I going to
read my lines now?!
(Presea and Syaoran come in)
Presea: NO! Sakura is too late! Ferio
shot himself!
Syaoran: Great, who's going to pay
me now?
Sakura: (turning to tell the two) No,
he didn't shoot himself. He shot
the script. It's okay, father is
alright.
Presea and Syaoran: (pause) …Good.
Ferio: (cries) Why did you stop me?
Sakura: (hands him a cheeseburger and
a purse) You see this purse? It has
more than enough money to pay for whatever you need to pay!
Ferio: Then what is this cheeseburger
about?
Sakura: That's my dowry. So I could get married to Syaoran!
Syaoran: Oh, hey, a cheeseburger. Excellent. Now
my parents will actually pay me money.
Presea: Yes! Money!
Ferio: Hey, where is the guy who was
supposed to collect the money?
(Lantis comes in, still in the same
cloak)
Sakura: (going near the exit and
screaming towards the back of the stage) Aeka! Get over here and fix Lantis up! He
still looks the same!
Lantis: Lay off!
Sakura: Fine!
Ferio: Here's the 24,000 dollars.
Lantis: I don't need it. I already have more money than you. Besides, why would I take something I gave away?
Syaoran: You what?
Lantis: Never mind.
Ferio: I thought you were the
representative of the French bank in London and you had mail from the company of
London in France.
Lantis: Oh, yeah, I did. Give me the money.
Ferio: Here, it's all in five
dollar bills.
Lantis: (takes the bills and bows) I
should go now. Thank you for your
cooperation.
(as Lantis left, Ferio snickered)
Presea: What's so funny?
Ferio: Well, the purse was used to be
filled with those dollar bills.
Syaoran: (raising an eyebrow) And? What about it?
Ferio: Well, hehe, I swiped all the
money and filled the purse with jewel rocks instead. So now, he is taking only those stupid rocks that we're supposed to
pretend are diamonds.
Sakura: You are so greedy.
Ferio: Be quiet, or else you won't
be able to marry Syaoran.
Syaoran and Sakura: Hey!
Presea: You have no say in that,
dear. I do.
Ferio: (grumbling to himself) Who
made you my wife anyway?
(weird voice comes)
Weird Voice: I did. Stop complaining.
Ferio: Humph.
