Scene 5
(Squall and Irvine come in, grumbling
about the championship game)
Irvine: I still say that someone
rigged the ball…
Squall: Hey, don't you think we
should be going, to…um, the party tonight?
Irvine: Yeah, sure, maybe we could
lighten up.
(the two head towards the Count's
carriage, when Lantis arrives)
Lantis: Hey, what are you two doing
with my carriage?
Squall: We're going to a party. Wanna come along?
Lantis: No, it's okay, hehe…I
have some things I have to do anyway. I'll
see you in the tombs!
Irvine: What did he mean by that?
Squall: Maybe he's having another
breakdown?
Irvine: I don't think so.
Squall: Anyway, let's go.
(The two ride the carriage and they
go to the party on time. A girl
waves at Squall)
Irvine: Why is she waving at you?
Squall: …I don't know.
Irvine: (looks in closer) Hey, she
looks like Rinoa!
Squall: AAAAAAH!! (Runs out of the
carriage and is being chased by a Rinoa look-alike. You don't think I would put her here, do you?)
Irvine: I'll meet you in the hotel
after your little date, ok, Squall?
(Irvine heads back to the hotel,
taking the carriage with him. Squall
wasn't heard from until the next morning, where Irvine gets a letter.)
Touya: A letter from Squall.
Irvine: Huh? Oh, maybe he eloped with that Rinoa look-alike.
Touya: I don't think so. You saw how fast he ran away from her.
Irvine: (reads the letter out loud)
"Dear Irvine, I need money! I so
very need money! Lots of money! So much money that a gang of bandits will be satisfied with
it! Oh, did I say gang of bandits? Hehe…well, GET ME THE MONEY! I
think 10,000 dollars will be enough. Come
quickly! Viscount Squall de Morcerf. P.S. Ryoko Vampa has a knife
right at my throat, so that must mean that bandits really do exist." Well, he's kidnapped by Ryoko Vampa. How nice. He's KIDNAPPED! OH NO! I don't have that
much money!
Touya: That's quite too bad. Oh well, maybe you could ask the Count of Monte Cephiro for
some money.
(Lantis comes in)
Lantis: What about me lending money
to people? What do you think this
is? A charity play?
Irvine: You should lend money,
because you probably told Ryoko Vampa to kidnap my friend so both of us could
get bankrupt.
Lantis: (indignantly) I did not!
Touya: You did too. I saw Ryoko come here last night.
Lantis: That was…because…she
thanked me for saving Mihoshi's life. Yeah,
that's it. She thanked me.
Irvine: Sure…..
Lantis: Alright, I'll go with you.
(The two got into the carriage and
went to the bandits' hideout. Ryoko
met them there.)
Ryoko: Well, hello there, visitors! What brings you here?
Lantis: This Baron accuses me of
telling you to kidnap Squall and hold him for ransom.
Irvine: Did you or did you not trick
my so-called friend and hold him for ransom?
Ryoko: Looks like you found me out. All right, Lantis did tell me to capture your friend.
Lantis: You weren't supposed to
tell him! That was between you and
me!
Ryoko: You didn't pay me enough,
Count. Besides, you didn't tell
me to hold him ransom. Your exact
words were to capture and physically torture Squall.
Irvine: How could you?! After all we've gone through! You
still hold a grudge and want to torture Squall?!
Lantis: (looking wildly) He hijacked
my carriage! You should pay too!
Ryoko: (holding up her hands) Look
here, this isn't in the script. Better
play along, or I will blast both of you to oblivion.
Lantis and Irvine: (gulp)
Irvine: Okay, Ryoko, I will prepare
to pay the ransom.
Ryoko: What ransom? I was only kidding.
Irvine: So Squall is free to go?
Ryoko: Not really. This Rinoa look-alike is holding him captive. I think he's locked himself in the dungeon to get away from
her.
Lantis: Typical. Show us to him.
Ryoko: (shrugs) Suit yourself. Better be careful, I have a gang of bandits around here.
(they head towards the farthest
corner of the caves, and Ryoko stops them)
Ryoko: Behold, my gang of bandits!
Lantis: (blink blink)
Irvine: Hi, Mihoshi.
Mihoshi: Hi, Ryoko! Hi, Irvine, Lantis! What are
you guys doing here?
Ryoko: (sweatdrop) What?! This is my gang of bandits? What
is the meaning of this?
Aeka: (from backstage) Ho ho ho!
Ryoko: (hearing Aeka) Well, that
(beep) will (beep beep) pay for this…
Mihoshi: Um…Ryoko, I think that was
enough words to say for now.
Irvine and Lantis: (stared at Ryoko
for the language she used)
Ryoko: (glared at the two men) What? Don't you want Squall? Come
on, then.
(Ryoko floated in the air and took
out a key. She opened up a dungeon
door and yelled inside)
Ryoko: Yo! Squall! Irvine came to get
you!
Squall: (still half asleep) Not now,
stepmother. It's only morning. Wake me up at sundown…(snore)
Lantis: SQUALL!
Squall: WHAT?!
Irvine: You woke him up.
Squall: (coming out of the darkness
and looking furtively around his surroundings) She isn't here, is she?
Ryoko: Who?
Squall: (looking scared)
Her…that…no good…sorceress wannabe…She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named!
Irvine: Rinoa?
Squall: (gasps) You said the name!
Lantis: What's wrong with saying
Rinoa?
Squall: Stop! Don't jinx me!
Ryoko: (shaking her head) I think his
reserve has gone down. You should
take him now and give him some rest.
Irvine: Whatever you say. Come on, Squall, don't worry, You-Know-Who won't harm you now.
Squall: Who? Voldemort?
Lantis: This is hopeless. Why didn't we just leave him there?
Squall: (coming back to some of his
senses) Because, my mother Umi will get worried and get mad at you.
Lantis and Irvine: WHAT?!?!
Ryoko: He's still hallucinating,
just take him. I don't want to
hear his whining anymore than I have to.
(Lantis and Irvine drag Squall out,
into the carriage, and back to Rome)
