Act 6
Scene 1
(In the Villefort mansion, Clef has
the radio blasting to Destiny's Child)
Clef: I'm
a survivor, I'm not gon give up, I'm not gon stop, I'm gon work harder, I'm a
survivor, I'm gonna make it, I will survive, Keep on survivin'
(Alcyone runs in)
Alcyone: What is all this awful
racket?!
Clef: Thought
that I would fail without you, But I'm on top, Thought it would be over by now,
But it won't stop
Thought that I would self destruct, But I'm still here, Even in my years to
come, I'm still gon be here…
(Eagle
also comes in, holding a newspaper)
Eagle:
I'm a survivor, I'm not gon give up!
Alcyone:
That's it! (turns the radio up)
Clef
and Eagle: Hey! They were getting
to the good part! Kelly was going
to sing the next verse! WAAAAH!
(Fuu
enters, pushing Yukito in the wheelchair)
Yukito:
…(for once, he's got nothing in his mind)
Fuu:
What was that awful racket, mother?
Alcyone:
It was the radio and Clef singing.
Fuu:
Oh, that's a bad thing.
Yukito:
… ~ A very bad thing. My glasses
were cracking. He sounds like a
washing machine. ~
Clef:
I was only singing.
Eagle:
Yeah, take it easy on the little tyke, after all, he's only 11.
Clef:
I'm not 11! I am more than 700
years old!
Eagle:
Yeah, yeah, sure, kid.
Fuu:
Oh, if that was it, then I will be bringing grandfather to the garden now.
Alcyone:
Hey, young lady, you're not going to the garden again. I know what you do there, and you're supposed to stay faithful to your
fiancé, Irvine d'Epinay.
Fuu:
Mother, I don't like Irvine. He's
too much of a womanizer. Besides,
why would he want to marry the granddaughter of the man who killed his father?
Irvine:
(from backstage) WHAT?! Yukito
killed my father?! No wonder I'm
an orphan! You're going to pay,
Noirtier! DIE!
Quistis:
(from backstage, holding Irvine down) Calm down, Irvine. This is only a play.
Irvine:
(from backstage) Oh, right. (clears throat much too loudly) Oops…
Fuu:
(whispering so only Yukito and the audience could hear) Oh, what do I do? I won't marry anyone but Edmond Dantès.
Ferio:
(from backstage) For the last time, read the script! (shouting to Fuu) No!! Not Edmond Dantès! Ferio Morrel!
Fuu:
Oh, I won't marry anyone but Ferio!
Yukito:
(nods, hearing this exclamation) ~Hmm…I think I have a plan…hehe… ~
Fuu:
(knowing the look Yukito is giving her, smiles and drags the wheelchair towards
the garden)
Alcyone:
There she goes again, meeting that freaky looking young man in the garden.
Ferio:
(from backstage) Who you calling freaky looking, hag?
Eagle:
WHERE?
Clef:
Not where! WHO!
Eagle:
Oh, WHO?
Alcyone:
Idiots…FERIO!
Eagle
and a sarcastic Clef: Ooooooooooh….
Alcyone:
My gosh. And what about my
mother's death?
Eagle:
(blank) Oh, yeah, I called a doctor a while ago. She'll be here right about now, I should think.
(Washu
enters, carrying a suitcase with her.)
Eagle:
Ah, here she is. Doctor Washu, how
are you?
Washu:
Fine, just fine. So, where's the
dead body?
Eagle:
Dead body?
Washu:
YEAH! I can't make an autopsy if
the body is not here!
Alcyone:
Oh, sure, Dr. I'll show you to
the body. Come, follow me.
(from
the other room, Washu starts to speak)
Washu:
Aha! I knew it! This was a murder!
Alcyone:
(gasp) My mother was murdered! NO!!!
Clef:
Oh, really? That's splendid! I mean, oh, how unfortunate for mother to lose her mother.
Eagle:
(nodded) Ah, I see. Well, better
watch what you're drinking, people. You
don't know who is going to be poisoned next.
Clef:
How did you know that grandmother died of poison?
Eagle:
Erm…uh…the script?
(Tomoyo
enters, holding a camera)
Eagle:
Oh, Tomoyo. You haven't given
father Noirtier his medicine yet. Go
and give it to him, and erm…will you stop aiming that camera at me?
Tomoyo:
Nonsense, I'm not aiming it at you. It's
aimed at Sakura, she's over there!
(everyone
looks at the side, where Sakura is standing, and the Card Mistress turns red.)
Sakura:
Tomoyo! Go back to your lines!
Tomoyo:
(puts camera away) Yes, sir, I will get the medicine right away.
Clef:
Oh, and while you're doing that, go get me a martini. I'm thirsty.
(Tomoyo
bows and leaves)
Eagle:
I should go now.
Clef:
Good, so you could leave me here while I mutilate this book.
Eagle:
(looking suspiciously at the book) What book is that?
Clef:
(held the book up and smiled cheerfully) This book!
Eagle:
(screams) You crazy! STOP! That's my script!
Clef:
AHAHAHAHA! (cuts the script in two) AHAHAHAHA!
Washu:
(runs in) What's the matter here?
Eagle:
(crying) sniff…Clef cut my script in two…
Alcyone:
(walks in, smiling) He did, did he? Well,
goodness knows, you deserve it. Come
on, Clef, you have more books to mutilate.
Eagle:
No, not my bedtime story book, too! WAAAAAH!
Scene
2
(Lafarga and Lantis are talking)
Lantis: So, have you found out about
Morcerf and his family yet?
Lafarga: Well, duh. I don't want my Shiva marrying Squall! His father is a double agent! He
betrayed Hikaru for goodness's sakes!
Lantis: So who's going to marry
your daughter?
Lafarga: Um…Cavalcantis. I brought him with me. Yo,
Touya! Come over here!
Lantis: Touya?
(Touya comes in, frowning)
Touya: Another part-time job.
(mutters to himself) Selphie better pay me for this.
Lantis: Ehehe…Oh, hello, there,
Mister Cavalcantis. Why don't you
sit down?
Touya: No, I prefer standing.
Lafarga: Sit down!
Touya: (sits down)
Lafarga: (clears throat) Okay, now,
back to business. Erm…what were
we talking about?
Lantis: You were saying something
about what Squall's father was about.
Lafarga: Right. I should write a letter to the Congress about this.
Touya: The Congress? Don't you mean the Cephiro Council?
Lantis: What makes the difference?
Touya: I just thought you'd like to
know.
Lafarga: Be quiet. (gets a piece of
paper and starts to write) Um… "Dear Mr. Congress person dude…"
Touya: Mr. Congress person dude?
Lafarga: Well, yeah, how should I
know who to send this to?
Lantis: (murmurs to Touya) Leave him
be, he's an idiot.
Lafarga: "There seems to be a
problem. Ascot de Morcerf is a two
timing double agent and will steal all your cheeseburgers if you don't arrest
him right now. Thank you for
listening."
Touya: That's it?
Lafagra: Yep.
Lantis and Touya: Oh geeze.
Lafarga: (gets up cheerfully) Okay,
now that I'm finished with the
letter, Cavalcantis and I will be going. Come
on, Touya.
Touya: But I would like some tea.
Lafarga: LET'S GO!
(Touya mutters and leaves with
Lafarga. Squall comes in, glaring
at Lafarga and sitting down at the same chair that Touya sat in.)
Lantis: Well, how did the breaking of
the engagement go?
Squall: (smiled) Well! I can't tell you how happy I am to break it off.
Lantis: Why did you want to break it
off so badly?
Squall: That's because Mlle Shiva
Danglars isn't the woman for me.
Lantis: (raises an eyebrow) Oh? And who would be a perfect and ideal woman for you, Monsieur?
Squall: …I don't want to talk
about it. It wouldn't matter to
you anyway.
Lantis: (smiling evilly) Oh, try me. Come on, Squall. Your ideal woman…would be like who? Your mother? I
hear you are devoted to her.
Squall: Of course I'm devoted to
her. She's my mother, and a
better mother than you'll ever have. But,
no, she's not someone I would want for a wife.
Lantis: Get on with it, boy!
Squall: BOY?! I am as old as your are, Lantis!
Lantis: It's COUNT OF MONTE CEPHIRO!
Squall: (calming down) Okay, okay. But I hope that you don't mention this to anyone. I have to go, I only came here to thank you. And I thank you again for breaking off this engagement.
Lantis: Your welcome…Squall.
(Squall nods and leaves the place,
filled with thoughts and doesn't notice the wall that he bumps into, making it
fall on top of him.)
Scene 3
(Ascot is in Court, with Quistis as
judge and a bunch of people.)
Quistis: You have been accused of
betraying the royal Greek family of the Shidou. Their princess, Shidou Hikaru, has spoken against you. Do you have any say to this?
Ascot: Guilty as charged.
Quistis and every person in court:
WHAT?!
Ascot: (shakes head) I mean, I am not
guilty, Your Honor.
Quistis: Um…Well then. What have you to say for your defense?
Ascot: Only to say that I didn't
take the ring and go into the secret passage in the castle to betray the Shidou
and his family…
Quistis: How do you know there was a
secret passage in the palace?
Ascot: (looks as if it was obvious)
Duh, I was their confidante. I
carried secret information from the enemy and gave it to the royal family. Why do you think they gave me the ring? I didn't take it.
(Hikaru comes in)
Quistis: Well, that woman over there
is the Greek princess, Shidou Hikaru. Hikaru,
do you have anything to say about this?
Hikaru: (points at Ascot) That
man…betrayed my father. He
brought my mother and I to slavery…and stole the sacred ring of Greece. PUNISH HIM!
(a conversation from backstage)
Ferio: Whoa, Hikaru's got the
audience captured.
Umi: She's such a good actress, she
should've gotten the part as the Catalan…
Ryoko: Shh….I wanna see!
(back to the stage)
Ascot: No! I didn't do it! She's an
imposter!
Quistis: You may be right, Ascot. Tell me, Hikaru, would you give us proof that you truly are
the Greek princess of Shidou?
Hikaru: (takes out a document) Right
here is my birth certificate from the man who sold me off. And here is the sacred ring of Greece.
Ascot: What?! How'd you get that? And if
you were enslaved, to whom do you belong to?
(more talk from backstage)
Ryoko: Wow, this is the best scene
we've had without mishaps so far.
Fuu: Yeah, they are really good at
acting, especially Hikaru-san.
Squall: Would you guys shut up? I'm trying to hear what they're saying!
(The people backstage squabble until
they rip the other curtain, revealing all of them standing there. Everyone on the stage turn to look at the cast backstage and some of the
people in the jury walked over to their side and covered them up. Hikaru sighed with relief.)
Hikaru: Whomever I work for, it is
not necessary for me to say so.
Ascot: Hey, I know who you are! You work for the Count of Monte Cephiro! What a traitor!
Quistis: Well, then, I proclaim Ascot
de Morcerf guilty of the charges.
Ascot: What? I don't even have a lawyer! I
want my rights!
Quistis: Oh, what's the point? You're supposed to be found guilty. Now go. The
judgment has passed.
Jury: (mutters to themselves) We
didn't even get to choose whether or not he's guilty.
Scene 4
(In a theatre, Lantis and Ferio are
watching The Nutcracker while Squall comes in)
Squall: Yo, Count! This is war! You disgraced
my father, you disgraced my family, and you disgraced me! En garde!
Lantis: (glared at Squall)
Shh…..Can't you see I'm watching something? Look, the sugar plum fairy is about to do her solo dance.
Ferio: (tries hard not to laugh)
Um…I think Squall just challenged you to a duel, Count.
Lantis: What? (jumps out) How dare
you challenge me in the middle of a wonderful ballet performance! You should pay!
Squall: No, you're going to pay!
Lantis: What, you wanna fight? Is that it?
Squall: Let's take this outside!
Lantis: Fine! 10 a.m. tomorrow morning! Bring
your second!
Squall: (puzzled) Second?
Ferio: You know, the back-up people. In case you get shot.
Squall: Oh, I knew that. I will!
(Squall leaves, and Lantis goes back
on watching the ballet)
Lantis: Isn't this a wonderful
performance, Ferio? Look! Now it's time for the finale!
Ferio: (moans) Why did I come with
you anyway?
Scene 5
(later that evening, in the Count's
mansion)
Presea: Sir, a woman is wanting to
see you. She's upstairs.
Lantis: Okay. Here, take my cloak.
(Lantis enters and sees a cloaked
woman, who is none other than Umi)
Umi: (throws herself at Lantis)
Lantis! Don't kill my son!
Lantis: What did you call me?
Umi: I said Lantis! I know who you are, you idiot! Oh
please don't kill my son!
(At this point, Mokona comes in the
stage, bouncing about)
Mokona: Pu pu pu!
Lantis: (anime sweatdrop, but ignores
the bouncing creature) Why do you ask such a thing?
Umi: Haven't you befriended him? He holds much respect for you…don't kill him!
Mokona: (begins to run around the two
people) Puuuuuu!
Lantis: (cowers and almost topples
over Umi, who is kneeling before him) But if I don't kill him, then I will
surely die!
Umi: Oh, please, don't kill Squall!
(Mokona now begins to cling on Lantis as well)
Lantis: No, my decision is fixed. He insulted my dignity and interrupted me when I was watching
my favorite play! You don't know
how much pain I went through!
Umi: No, you don't know how much
pain I went through! I couldn't
sleep for 10 years because I thought so much about you. Look at the bags under my eyes! And
it's all because of your doing!
Lantis: You weren't stuck with
Mokona for 14 years, now, were you? You
didn't hear him say the same syllable day after day until you would crack,
didn't you? And you still say
that you have much pain?!
Umi: (gasps) Oh, dear. You did suffer through a lot. Who
did this to you anyway?
Lantis: Your husband! Lafarga! AND MY BEST FRIEND! GET THIS THING OFF ME!
Mokona: Pu pu pu!
Lantis: I'll do anything! Anything! Just get the Abbè
off me!!
Umi: (smiles mischievously) Anything?
Lantis: Anything!
Umi: I'll get Mokona off you if you
promise to spare my son in your duel tomorrow.
Lantis: OKAY!! NOT GET HIM OFF!!
Umi: Good. (takes a hand out to
Mokona) Come on, Abbè. Your
mission is done.
Mokona: Pu!
Lantis: You mean you used him?!! You tricked me!!!
Umi: (laughs) Of course I did! How else would I have been able to get you to agree to spare
my son?
Lantis: (sobs) Now I'm gonna die
because of you…
Umi: You're such a noble heart,
Lantis. I will remember this. Tata!
(Umi leaves with Mokona)
Lantis: (still sobbing) …
