~I realized I accidentally got this scene cut off, so I just added the rest of the story. I was wondering why it never had an ending....
Act 7
Scene 1
(at the appointed place at 10 a.m., Lantis is waiting with Ferio, who is his second)
Ferio: Are you sure Squall is going to show up?
Lantis: Of course I am. What you should ask is whether I'm going to die or not.
Ferio: What's the point? I know you're going to die. So I don't want to ask a question that I already know the answer to.
Lantis: You're a great comfort.
Ferio: Thank you.
(A carriage comes, with Squall inside. He brings a whole bunch of witnesses, well, only Quistis actually)
Quistis: Okay, Here I am.
Ferio: You're Squall's second? But, you're a woman!
Quistis: (sighs) What is it with you men? I can do things like these. Besides, I'm not here to be a second to anyone. He just told me to witness something.
Squall: I want to make an announcement.
Lantis: What do you want?
Squall: (glares at Lantis) For my mother's sake, I will not fight this duel. Not because I'm a coward, but because I realized that you had gone through much pain due to this family. You were stripped of your household and thrown into a cell where you were continuously tortured for 14 years. Please accept my deepest apologies and I will never bother you again. (with that said, he leaves with Quistis in the carriage)
Ferio: (sighs with relief) Oh, good, there isn't a fight either. That means I don't get to see people kill each other.
Lantis: I LIVE!!! I GET TO SEE ANOTHER DAY AGAIN! YIPPEE!
Ferio: Okay, Lantis. No need to celebrate so soon. Look, I have to go. I have to meet…em…someone.
Lantis: What? Oh, sure, sure thing.
Scene 2
(Lafarga is in his room and Caldina enters)
Caldina: Listen, hun, we need to talk.
Lafarga: Eh…Not now, dear. You see, I seem to be missing half my fortune. If I don't find it tomorrow, I will be declared bankrupt.
Caldina: That's what I wanted to tell you. I went in a shopping spree and well, there went the money.
Lafarga: WHAT?!
Caldina: I'm sorry. Um…I'll repay you somehow.
Lafarga: ARGH! Now I have to leave this place! I'm going to pack my bags now! You're staying here with Shiva and I'm going to leave you forever!
Caldina: (almost to tears) But you can't leave me without money!
Lafarga: No, I won't. You'll be getting the rest of the half and double that, because you have insurance, remember?
Caldina: Oh, right. Okay, bye bye, Lafarga. I'll be seeing you in a few years…that is, if you return home.
(scene fades and goes into another place, this time, it is Fuu and Yukito)
Fuu: Grandfather, Irvine is coming this way. Are you sure this plan is going to work?
Yukito: (closes eyes, signifying a yes)
Fuu: Okay, he's here.
(Irvine comes in, accompanied by Eagle)
Irvine: Ah…here is my bride to be! How are you, Fuu?
Fuu: (smiles nervously) Well, my grandfather doesn't want me to marry you. He strongly disagrees with you.
Eagle: Nonsense! You're marrying him no matter what your grandfather says!
Yukito: (glares at Eagle)
Irvine: And what is going to stop me, oh dear one?
Ferio: (from backstage) Hey! No one calls her that but me!
Fuu: (hands Irvine a document) This will stop you.
Irvine: (begins to read) "It was a dark and stormy night, when werewolves still ruled the kingdom of Fanelia and the princess of the kingdom was asking for a hero to save her people…" What the heck is this?
Fuu: (grabs the paper away and hands him another paper) Wrong one. Go on, read.
Irvine: (clears throat and begins to read again) "To be or not to be, that is the question…" I think I have the wrong paper again.
Fuu: I'm sure I have it here somewhere…(flips paper everywhere until she finds the one she's looking for) Oh, here it is. This time I'm sure.
Eagle: (grabs the paper from Irvine) Give me that. I'll read it. (begins to read) I, Monsieur Noirtier, declare that if my granddaughter, Fuu de Villefort, will marry such a man as Irvine d'Epinay, all the fortunes I bestowed upon her will be taken and given to a charity cause. All 900 thousand francs."
Fuu and Irvine: WHAT?!
Yukito: (smiles triumphantly)
Fuu: Grandfather, are you sure you want to do this?
Yukito: (closes eyes to signify a yes)
Irvine: Does that mean a yes?
Eagle: It must be. He always does that when I ask him whether he's hungry or not, and he always seems to close his eyes.
Fuu: Grandfather, what are you doing? Don't you want happiness for me?
Yukito: (something gets in his eyes and blinks twice)
Fuu: You want me to be unhappy?
Yukito: (blinks again)
Fuu: Then you want me to be unhappy?
Yukito: (keeps blinking)
Fuu: MAKE UP YOUR MIND!
Irvine: (still reading the paper) Hm…It says something at the bottom in small letters… "But, I decided to give all my money to Fuu anyway. However, I would like to tell Irvine that it was I that killed his father years ago. I killed him in a duel that we fought at an alley somewhere in France." Well, see here? I knew my father was murdered. WHAT?! YOU KILLED MY FATHER?! (faints)
Eagle: Irvine!
Fuu: Oh dear.
Eagle: Barbara! Bring Irvine to a comfortable place!
Fuu: Oh dear.
(Tomoyo comes in, still holding a video camera. She stops in front of Irvine and tapes him asleep)
Tomoyo: Oh my.
Eagle: Barbara! Drag him out of this room NOW!
Fuu: Oh dear.
Eagle: Stop saying that!
Tomoyo: Oh dear. Here, let me bring him to the other room.
(Irvine is carried to the other room by Tomoyo, and Eagle is left with Fuu and Noirtier.)
Eagle: Now, look what you did, father. You scared him off. Now I'm never going to find a husband for Fuu!
Fuu: Oh, but there is a husband for me, father. I want to marry Ferio Morrel, son of Ferio Morrel.
Eagle: Wait, I don't get it. He's the son and the father?
Yukito: … ~ Idiots…~
Eagle: I don't understand this! This is confusing! I have to go and have a drink now!
Fuu: Oh, will you please get me some?
(Eagle leaves and Ferio enters)
Ferio: All is well? You are not marrying Irvine?
Fuu: (throws herself on Ferio) I'm not marrying Irvine! And I still keep the money! Hooray!
Ferio: Thank goodness! For a minute there I was going to barge in too early and decide to punch Irvine's lights out then and there.
(Tomoyo comes in, carrying a drink.)
Tomoyo: Oh, I'm thirsty.
Fuu: Why don't you have some of my drink? It tastes like lemon.
Tomoyo: Oh, Fuu, you are so kind. (takes a drink and starts to choke) Um…I'm not feeling well.
Ferio: Are you okay?
Tomoyo: (falls to the floor, dead)
Fuu: OH DEAR! SHE'S DEAD! BARBARA IS DEAD!
Ferio: Oh geeze, maybe because someone stabbed her?
Fuu: (panics and absentmindedly takes a drink from the same glass) The drink tastes bitter…Oh dear, it seems that I am not feeling well either.
Ferio: Oh no! Don't tell me you're going to die too! NOOOO!
Yukito: (blinks vigorously, getting the attention of Ferio)
Ferio: Is she going to die?
Yukito: (blinks)
Ferio: So she will be fine?
Yukito: (closes eyes)
Ferio: Good. But I have to go now. I have an appointment with the Count of Monte Cephiro. But first, HELP HELP! FUU IS GOING TO DIE!
(Ferio leaves and Eagle rushes in with Washu)
Washu: What seems to be the problem?
Eagle: (gasps) Fuu! Barbara?
Washu: (examines Tomoyo and shakes head) I'm afraid she's dead, Eagle.
Eagle: What about Fuu?
Washu: (examines Fuu) She's barely alive. We best take her to the infirmary so she could recuperate. I told you there was a murderer in the house.
Eagle: Yes, but who is it?
Washu: What do I look like? A detective? Come on, we best bring her to safety.
(Alcyone comes in and screams)
Aclyone: Fuu! What happened?
Eagle: She's been poisoned.
Alcyone: I'm going with you. I have to be near my Fuu.
Washu: (looks at Alcyone with suspicion and shrugs) Suit yourself.
(everyone exits except Yukito, who is stuck in his seat with no one to push him)
Scene 3
(Ferio rushes into the Count of Monte Cephiro's household)
Ferio: Count! Count!
Lantis: (runs down in a hurry) What is it?
Ferio: You have to help me! You have to save Fuu de Villefort from death!
Lantis: Who do you think I am? An angel? Besides, I planned this all along. I don't care about the Villefort family.
Ferio: You don't understand, I love Fuu!
Lantis: You do? OH MAN! I HAVE TO SAVE HER!
Ferio: You better, or else, you and I will have war!
(Lantis hurries out and runs into Umi, who has some luggage with her)
Umi: (pleasantly) Hello, Lantis. You see, I'm leaving here with my son, Squall. We don't ever want to be with Ascot again.
Lantis: Really? Very good. Where are you heading?
Umi: As far away from all you crazy people who think of nothing but revenge and cheeseburgers. Oh, and my son is going with me. He's joining the navy, where they pay you decent money and won't let you eat fats like those burgers.
Lantis: But where will you go?
Umi: (shrugs) Back to the Catalan village, I suppose. That's where my life was well organized before it was ruined by you and Ascot.
Lantis: How about money? Don't you have any with you?
Umi: Of course I do! I stashed all my jewels and some of Ascot's savings. You didn't think I would leave without money, would you?
Lantis: (anime sweatdrop) Well, I suppose giving you money and telling you where the secret stash of treasure would be useless.
Umi: You buried treasure? WHERE?!
Lantis: Oh, somewhere in the Catalan village. It was supposed to support us when we got married.
Umi: (starry eyed) Oh, Lantis, you are so nice. I'll remember your kindness someday! Well, gotta go now.
(Squall approaches)
Squall: Mother, are you ready?
Umi: Of course I am, dear. Well, nice talking to you, Lantis. We have to go now.
Lantis: Hush with the Lantis already!
Umi: Oh, right.
(Squall and Umi leave, and Lantis remembers what he was supposed to be doing.)
Lantis: Oh geeze! Fuu!
(Lantis runs into the infirmary and hides out in the closet, where he could see Fuu. Fuu is asleep, with Eagle and Alcyone watching her.)
Eagle: Madam, where do you keep the poison that you used to poison her?
Alcyone: You think that I would do such a thing?
Eagle: Of course I do. You had the poison. Now spill it! Where is it?!
Alcyone: (looking frightened) You misunderstand, Eagle. I didn't kill her! Honest! I lost the poison when Clef was playing with it…
Eagle: (gasps) CLEF! He did it! And we don't know where he is!
Alcyone: Clef would never do such a thing! Even if he would, why Fuu?
Eagle: It probably was meant for Noirtier. You know how he hates father.
Alcyone: Who cares? It wasn't Clef! It wasn't!
Eagle: Hush, you'll wake her up.
Alcyone: How? She's half dead!
(the two leave and Lantis gets out of his hiding place)
Fuu: (opens up her eyes) Who's there?
Lantis: Don't worry, Fuu, I'm here to save you from the poison that you took.
Fuu: Poison? Oh, you mean that bitter tasting drink Clef gave me this morning?
Lantis: (gasps) You drank it!
Fuu: No, I didn't. It's right on my table. I only tasted it, but I didn't finish drinking it because it tasted bad.
Lantis: (gets the glass with the drink and spills it, refilling it with another liquid) Here, drink this. Don't worry, it's not poisonous.
Fuu: (looks at the drink suspiciously) It doesn't taste bad, does it? I don't like bad tasting drinks.
Lantis: Just drink it!
Fuu: (takes a sip and drinks the whole drink) There. Happy? Now leave me alone.
Lantis: Here is a pill that you should take before you go to bed. (hands Fuu a pill)
Fuu: Great, drink it with what? I just finished drinking the liquid. What am I supposed to drink it with, Clef's potion?
Lantis: (pours more liquid in the glass) There. Look, just drink this and don't take anything after that. You'll feel better.
Fuu: I better be. Or else I won't be the only one having a painful headache.
Lantis: (gulps nervously) I'm quite sure the potion will work. Eh…I have to go now. Ferio might be doing something awful if I don't tell him that you're still alive. Remember to take the pill.
(Lantis leaves and Fuu drinks the potion, also taking the pill)
Fuu: Ooh, goodie, this drink is addicting. Oh dear, I'm feeling sleepy……(falls asleep)
(Clef comes in, chuckling)
Clef: Hehe, I don't care what happens, these people are annoying me. DIE DIE DIE!
(Alcyone barges in)
Alcyone: Clef! What are you doing?!
Clef: Oh, um…I wanted to see Fuu. She doesn't look alive, does she?
Alcyone: AAAAAAAAH!! EAGLE! WASHU! SHE'S DEAD! FUU IS DEAD!
(everyone runs into the room, panting)
Washu: What happened? How did she die?
Eagle: (feeling her pulse) SHE'S DEAD! NOOOOOOO!
(Ferio barges in)
Ferio: What? Fuu is dead?
Eagle: Who are you?
Ferio: FUU!! NOOO! DON'T LEAVE ME!
Alcyone: What are you doing here?! GET AWAY!
Clef: (slinks away) Well, I have to get back home now. Bye! (runs out)
Alcyone: (runs after him) I have to stop him! Stop, Clef!
Washu: She drank the whole drink. She's dead. The poison worked too quickly.
Eagle: That's just great, but what is he doing here?
Ferio: I loved Fuu, you foo! Now she's dead!
Eagle: (finally getting the picture) Ohh…I get it. Hey, how come I never knew this?
Ferio: You did, moron. She told you when her marriage to Irvine got cancelled.
Washu: Enough with your chatter. We have to find a way to bury her. Let's see, should we cremate her? Or should we pick a nice coffin?
Eagle and Ferio: YOU ARE NOT GOING TO CREMATE HER!
Washu: Okay, okay. Then the coffin it is.
(everyone leaves, and Fuu is left behind)
Scene 4
(Ferio is in his room, holding a gun to his head, which looks awfully familiar, since his father did the same thing before. Lantis barges in.)
Lantis: Ferio! What are you doing?!
Ferio: Oh, it's you. I'm just ending my life. Fuu is dead, so why not kill myself and be done with it?
Lantis: That's because, you're supposed to wait! Don't you know who this is?!
Ferio: Who? You are the Count of Monte Cephiro.
Lantis: No! I am Edmond Dantès!
Umi: (from backstage) Lantis! Lantis!
Lantis: (glares at Umi) You shouldn't be talking, you kept saying Edmond in the beginning of the play. (clears throat) Well, I am Lantis!
Ferio: (drops gun and runs out calling) SAKURA! SYAORAN! COME OVER HERE!
(Sakura and Syaoran came running in the room, with Ferio pushing them)
Syaoran: What is it? This is ridiculous. I have a job to do, you know.
Ferio: BOW TO HIM! It is Lantis Dantès!
Sakura: (looks at Ferio as if he's crazy) Are you crazy?
Ferio: BOW!
Lantis: YES! BOW TO ME! I AM YOUR LEADER!
Syaoran: Get a grip, you two. No, you are not our leader, and will you please leave me alone?
Sakura: (jumps at Lantis and starts to hug him so hard that Lantis can't breathe any more.) Oh, it's you it's you it's you! AHAHAHA! Can I have your autograph?
Lantis: (puzzled) What? (Sakura hands him a piece of paper and Lantis scribbles on it) Oh, alright. Here.
Sakura: AHAHAHA! (looks at the paper) Hey! You're not E.T.! Jibola.
Lantis: Get away from me!
Ferio: (is the only one who actually bows) How can we repay you for what you have done to our family, sir?
Lantis: I only said this…because…uh…well…I don't know why I said this, really.
Syaoran: Why am I here in the first place?
Lantis: Yeah, why are you two here? I was only here to stop Ferio from shooting himself.
Sakura: (frowning) Ferio! Trying to kill yourself again?! What will Fuu say?
Ferio: (starts to cry) SHE'S DEAD! WWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!
Syaoran: Wuss.
Ferio: WHAT DID YOU SAY?!
Sakura: Oh, what is it that you want?
Lantis: Um… the purse that I used to save your father.
Sakura: Oh, no, I could never give you that! That's a special relic passed down from my father to me! And besides, it has my dowry in it!
Lantis: (looks disgusted) Ew….You still have the cheeseburger that I got you from 3 years ago?
Sakura: NO! THE DIAMOND! Remember? You put an actual diamond on the purse when you weren't paying attention? Instead of a jewel rock, it was a real diamond!
Lantis, Ferio, and Syaoran: IT WAS?!
Sakura: (nods smiling) It is quite a fetching jewel. I prefer to keep it if you don't mind. So, keep your hands off my dowry.
Syaoran: I'm rich! I'm rich! Sakura, I could kiss you!
Sakura: Try it and I will kill you!
Ferio: Can you two go now?!
Sakura and Syaoran: FINE! (they leave)
Lantis: So, are you okay now?
Ferio: No. Fuu is dead. Why won't you let me kill myself?
Lantis: That's because your father wouldn't want you to kill yourself.
Ferio: Who are you to judge whether I live or die? Why do you mention my father?
Lantis: Hey, weren't these lines supposed to be before you call on Sakura and Syaoran?
Ferio: Oh well, too late now. Get on with it.
Lantis: I will let you come with me and give me three months before you kill yourself. Then, when the three months are over, and you're not happy, I will gladly bring you pills to kill yourself and the gun.
Ferio: ALRIGHT! I CAN FINALLY KILL MYSELF!
Fuu: (from backstage) WILL YOU STOP TRYING TO KILL YOURSELF?
Ferio: Hey, I thought you were dead?
Scene 5
(3 months later, Lantis is sitting in a room with Ferio, who is aching to get a hold on some pills)
Ferio: Well, three months are up, Lantis. So, are you going to help me end my misery, or what?
Lantis: Don't do this to yourself, Ferio.
Ferio: You promised you'd help!
Lantis: I lied.
Ferio: I want my gun!
Lantis: (getting angry) Fine! (throws him some pills and a gun) There, happy? But I ask you to take the pills first.
Ferio: (takes the pills) Oh, I'm a bit sleepy. Maybe I should take a nap first before I kill myself…(falls asleep)
(Fuu barges in, alive)
Fuu: Ferio! Ferio! Oh no! He's dead! He killed himself!
Lantis: …
Fuu: (pries the bottle of pills from Ferio's hands) What? You didn't leave any for me? How could you leave me in this world?
Lantis: Um…Fuu, what are you doing?
Fuu: (grabs a knife and sits right next to Ferio) Oh, happy dagger…
Lantis: FUU! THIS IS NOT ROMEO AND JULIET! FERIO IS NOT DEAD!
Fuu: Oh, he isn't? (drops the knife) Oh, hehe…I had no idea, you see…
Lantis: How can you not have any idea? It's in the script!
Fuu: (glares) It would be, if you had a script. Before I left the house, Clef mutilated everyone's script. That's why Alcyone poisoned him and herself. My father went insane because of that. And now I don't know what my lines are.
Lantis: What?! Even my script was mutilated?
Fuu: When I said everyone, I meant it.
Lantis: NOOOOOOO!
Fuu: (cheerfully) Oh well, it's almost the end of the play. Don't worry. We can always improvise.
Ferio: (wakes up) Huh? Who is it? Why am I here? Where am I? Who am I? Did I just hear that Clef destroyed everyone's scripts?
Lantis: Yup, oh well, you're script was destroyed way before anyway.
Ferio: NOOOOOO! (looks at Fuu) Hey! You're alive! Cool!
Fuu: I am alive, Ferio. You don't have to kill yourself!
Ferio: YAY! (goes back to sleep)
Fuu: (anime sweatdrop) Um…hehe…I think I should stick here for a while.
Lantis: (nods and walks out the door, leaving a note, and as he is leaving, he bumps into Hikaru)
Hikaru: Oh, hello, Lantis.
Lantis: Still leaving me?
Hikaru: No, because there wasn't anyone who would let me work for them. Something about being a Greek princess.
Lantis: Oh well, then come back and then we could get married!
Hikaru: (looks a bit disgusted) Well, I would like that, but there is one thing you're forgetting about this play…
Lantis: What?
Hikaru: You're as old as my father in the play…
Lantis: WHAT?!
Hikaru: Remember? You stayed in a dungeon for 14 years? You would be 34 by now…ew….and I'm only 15…
Lantis: (breaks down on the floor) NOOOOO!!! I'm OLD!
Hikaru: Don't worry, Lantis…maybe in the next play you'll get a happy ending…ehe…
(Squall comes in from a boat, where Umi is waving at them)
Lantis: Hey, it's Umi!
Squall: (glaring at Lantis) You are not marrying my mother. She's leaving here, and so am I. And since we don't have lines, I could always improvise. HEY QUISTIS!
Quistis: (from backstage) WHAT?!
Squall: COME OVER HERE!
Quistis: FINE! (enters the stage) What is it, Squall?
Squall: Well, Lantis needs someone to marry for a happy ending. You up to it?
Quistis: (eyes the crying Lantis) Him? I don't think so.
Lantis: Must I have to wait a long time?!
Quistis: Yes, you do. You should have the patience to hope and wait.
(curtains close and audience claps, well, some of them did)
Selphie: (coming out of the stage) Well, that's all folks! Wasn't it spectacular?
Edea: Um…tell me, Selphie, why did you even attempt to do a play?
Selphie: (giggling nervously) Well, we were bored?
Zell: (laughing hysterically) I loved it! It was sooo funny! Nice ending! AHAHAHA!
Eriol: Hm…I didn't know my own descendant would sink this low and act in a play written by Selphie.
Emeraude: Hey! Why am I exiled?
Eriol: That's because I'm more powerful than you.
Emeraude: No, you aren't! I am the Pillar of Cephiro!
Eriol: No, you aren't. You are dead.
Emeraude: Oh right.
Kaho: Come on, Eriol-kun, we have to go.
Ruby Moon: AHAHAHA! Yue is soooo funny!
Spinel Sun: He wasn't even in his true form, Ruby.
Ruby Moon: Who cares?!
(the whole cast comes out, bowing for the last time, when Mokona also comes in)
Mokona: Pu pu pu!
Selphie: And the star of our show has come!
Lantis: Mokona?!
Selphie: YUP!
(a standing ovation was displayed for Mokona, who was bouncing about, and then the curtain closes, well, the remainder of the curtains close, and the audience leaves hurriedly, scared that they have to watch another play)