[Disclaimer: I do not own, nor do I claim to own, anything created by Joss Whedon]

Author's Note:

Well...no note to speak of today. Hohumliness.

Surprise!

Chapter Four: Double Trouble

by Adele Elisabeth

Cordy had taken herself, Buffy, and the past-Angel back into the living room (Genevieve was asleep upstairs), while Giles and future-Angel spoke in the kitchen.

"Buffy, I want to get one thing straight between us before I say anything else." Cordy began, eyeing the blonde. "I didn't set out to steal Angel. I didn't steal him, actually. You and he had been apart for quite some time. We were friends for ages before we were anything else, as well."

"So, what? Our relationship is doomed to failure?" Buffy sniped.

"Hey, if the shoe fits..." Cordy couldn't help herself. She was only human, after all.

Cordelia smirked.

Angel sighed. "Was there something you wanted to say to us, Mrs--"

"Ms."

"Ms Liam. What did you want to talk about?" Angel finished.

"Firstly? Thanks for taking care of Gen. I know she must have came as a shock to all of you. Secondly, please don't call me Ms Liam, it seems a bit formal. Spike still calls me 'Cheerleader', although sometimes he calls me Grandma. Weird sense of humor." She shrugged. "I'm trying to convince Drusilla to stop calling me princess at the moment."

"I haven't quite gotten the long or the short of Spike and Drusilla being part of your lives. They're--"

"Evil? Not anymore. But they're not a couple now -- it's not Spike and Drusilla, it's Spike and Drusilla."

"Wha?" That was from Buffy.

"Pfft. Drusilla's with Wesley--"

Cordelia and Buffy cracked up. Cordy ignored them.

"--and Spike's with Niamh."

"But Niamh's--"

"Not anymore, Angel. Get with the program. Well, anyhow, I am here to answer all your questions about the future." Cordy grinned. "So shoot."

"Does Giles really get a life?" Trust Cordelia.

"Swear on mine. Gen and Owen love Anya."

"Are we...are we happy?" Angel looked up at the dark-haired seer, who paused.

"Me and you? The other you, anyway."

"Yeah."

"You have to ask? We've been married for five years and we are blissfully happy. I couldn't honestly say otherwise. Little Miss Timeless's always going on about PDA, but we just can't help it." Cordy smiled faintly. "If anyone had told me this say, seven, eight years ago? Would have laughed in their faces."

"Little Miss Timeless?"

"Dawn Summers, the Key. Formerly a mystical ball of energy, now gorgeous younger sister of Buffy Summers. She hasn't aged since sixteen because of how she's all mystical energy and crap. Not that I can talk -- the PTB are keeping me young and gorgeous so I can live to fight another day. Apparently they don't want their Warriors etc dying of old age, so us white hat's have all the perks of being vampires -- the whole no aging stuff mostly -- but none of the bad bits -- allergy to sunlight, bumpy bits, that sort of thing."

"I have a sister?" Buffy quizzed, intrigued despite herself.

"Sure. Some evil hell goddess wanted to unlock the realities or something and Dawnie's the key. Only she never used to be human, she used to be just what I said before -- a mystical ball of energy. She was sent to the slayer in the form of a sister -- fake memories and everything so you wouldn't know -- so that she could be protected. Giles thinks that if she were the next slayer, combined with her Key power, she'd be almost unstoppable. We're not allowed to kill you and find out, though."

"I should think not." Buffy snorted. "Does she have any magical powers?"

"Not as yet, but Giles and Anya and Willow are running tests. Though she has mastered a few simple skills -- moving crap with her mind, telepathy, bending spoons and all that. She staked a vamp with that psychokenesis thingie. It was cool."

Angel looked at the three women in the room, with a faint -- and slightly confused -- sigh. Cordelia and Cordelia and Buffy. If he thought he'd been confused before...well, he hadn't even seen confused...

Angel entered the living room with Giles, and made his way quietly to stand behind his wife. He wrapped his arms around her waist and rested his chin on her shoulder, and then blew on the back of her ear. Cordy giggled.

"Angel, I think we're scaring the natives." She gestured to Buffy, Angel, Cordelia and Giles. "Quit that."

"But you're so pretty when you giggle." Angel mock-objected.

"Hey! I'll have you know I am pretty all the time! More than pretty! Drop dead gorgeous!"

"I wouldn't go saying things like that in Sunnydale."

"Hmmm, you may have a point there. But we're waaaaay off track." Cordy beamed at everybody. "Me and my Angel are taking Genevieve and Cordelia out to have some fun in the sun, and then we'll pick up Buffy's Angel this evening, drop Gen off at home and I fully intend to drag the three of them off to the Bronze."

"Is that such a good idea? Letting other people see you all together?" Giles interrupted.

"We've decided to say that the Angels are twins -- Angel and Liam, my Angel'll introduce himself as Liam if anyone asks -- and that I'm my own cousin, Cordy. And there's bound to be a couple of drunks who'll just think they're seeing double." Cordy shrugged. She seemed to have everything all worked out.

Giles gave up on arguing, but Buffy wasn't done yet.

"What about me?"

Cordelia fixed her with a disdainful look. "What about you?"

Cordy cut in before Buffy could say what was so obviously on her lips, "Buffy, this is a family thing. Hello, can you say, fifth wheel? I never really got to know Angel when he was still all in love with you, I didn't know him then. Sure, he was eye-candy, always has been, but you know very well I didn't exactly make conversation." She flashed Angel-of-the-past a faintly impish grin. "I want to rectify the situation. And it'll interesting to see how I get on with an Angel I don't have wrapped around my little finger."

Buffy glared at both Cordelias, but -especially- Cordy. "I know what you're trying to do--"

Cordy cut her off again, fixing her with a glare that rivalled any Buffy had seen. "No, you don't. I'm -trying- to make the best of a bad situation. I'm -trying- to get to know somebody, and show somebody else something they really need to see right now. I'm -trying- to ignore the fact that the current slayer is a spoiled little brat who thinks the world revolves around her. And right now, I'm -stunned-, truly -stunned- that the world is still here, if you're all that's protecting it." And with that, Cordelia Liam stormed out of the room, followed quickly by her husband, who -- to nobody's surprise but Buffy's -- glared at aforementioned slayer on his way out.

"Cordelia?" Angel asked tentatively, looking down at his dark-haired wife. "Cordy?"

"I'm fine," she answered the unspoken question she'd heard in his tone. "Really. It just made me mad that she could think I was going to try and set our younger selves up or something. Did the fact that they're not going to remember one second of this completely escape her?"

"I get the feeling you're changing the rules of the game, Cordy." Angel tilted his head.

"Maybe."

"Care to elaborate?"

"Of course." She smiled. "I'm not going to forget."

"What?"

"You heard me. I'll discuss it with my younger self first, but...I'm not going to forget. I won't change the future because I'll never mention my memory, but I don't want to forget."

"Why?"

"Haven't you seen the way the younger me looks? She's happy. She's got something to look forward to. She's not in a very happy place right now, Angel, but we're giving her hope. I don't want to take that away."

Angel nodded, pulling her into his arms. "It's a good idea, Cordy."

"Of course it is. I thought of it."

Angel laughed.

"You think I -- we -- should keep the memories?" Cordelia asked, slowly.

Her older self nodded. "I think it could be a good thing for...us."

"None of them will remember any of this, except for...me?"

"That's right."

"So I can't talk to them about it?"

Cordy deflated a little. "Well...you could, if you wanted to."

"They probably wouldn't believe me, though?"

"Giles might."

"Giles is kind of nice." Cordelia had a faint smile on her face that Cordy recognized, with something akin to dread rising in her stomach.

"You've got a crush on Giles!"

"I do not!"

"Do too!"

"Do not!"

"You so do. But if you ever like...acted on that, wouldn't that change the future?" This idea didn't sit too well with Cordy. "And I don't remember having a crush on Giles."

"But if it changed the future...maybe it would be like, an alternative future?" Cordelia suggested. "So, in one line, you and Angel, but in another line, me and...Giles."

"I cannot believe we are discussing this."

"We could always go ask a witch or something."

"I wish we had Will here. She'd know, I bet."

"Giles might know."

"Aww, you just want to ogle him some more."

"Shut up!"

"Cordelia and Giles, up a tree," Cordy sing-songed, grinning. She was silenced by a pillow to the face. "Hey! This means war, cheerleader!"

"Bring it on, seer!"

"Alternate futures and pasts?" Giles looked skeptical.

"No, think about it." Cordy persisted. "My wish, where there was no more Buffy? That was a different present. And there was Evil Vampy Willow. She wasn't from this reality. So maybe...maybe me and Angel aren't from your future, maybe we're from a future."

"Why are we discussing this, again?" Giles still wasn't clear on that.

Cordelia and Cordy exchanged a look, and coughed.

"Pardon?"

"Umm...it's just a thought we had." Cordelia mumbled.

"Well, this explains the Wesley thing." Cordy announced.

"What?" Cordelia looked up.

"Wesley's like a younger, dorkier Giles. No wonder I liked him, if I liked Giles."

"Except we're clear on the idea that you're not really me. Sort of."

"Sort of." Cordy agreed. "Cool. Gonna ask Giles to the prom?"

"Are you insane? It's not like he'd like me anyway. Hello, student/librarian relationship? I don't think so. And he's too proper to fall for someone like...half his age?"

"Have you tried to see if maybe he might be interested?"

"Not exactly..."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I may have gotten more than a little preoccupied with a certain line of questioning."

"Such as?"

"I wanted to know if he'd ever been in love, and why he wasn't married and all that."

"I was talking to Angel earlier. He says Giles thought that you were asking that because I told you about him and Anya."

"Really? I didn't even think about that."

"Cordelia Chase has fallen for a librarian. Sign Number One of Impending Apocalypse Number...oops, we lost count..."

Giles looked at Angel (of the future), with a slightly confused look on his face. "Would you happen to know why the Cordelias are convinced that you are from a seperate reality or some such?"

Actually, he did. Cordy told him all about it because she thought it was so cute. "I might, at that."

"Are you going to tell me? I've got a feeling it's more than just idle curiosity."

"This one, I think you're going to have to find out for yourself, Rupert."

Giles gave a long-suffering sigh, and Angel grinned. "In any case, I'm going to be late for our big day out."

"Have...fun."

"Something like that."

The Next Day (because I'm too lazy to write about their day out and all that)

"Cordelia?"

Cordelia looked up, to see the slightly concerned face of Willow Rosenburg. "Are you okay? You just look a little bit...sad?"

Cordelia thought fast. How much could she really trust Willow? She had kissed Xander. But Cordelia knew all along something like that would end up happening. She'd always been second in Xander's affections, and she knew it. Willow was trustworthy. "It's sort of...well, it's kind of complicated. I'm not sad, exactly."

"Wanna talk about it?" Willow sat down next to her. It was after school, and they were (as usual) in the library. Xander and Buffy had to clean toilets (just for a little bit), and Giles was in his office, doing Watcherly things. Cordy, her Angel, and Genevieve, had elected to stay home for the day.

"Only if you swear you'll never tell a soul."

Willow thought about it, and then nodded.

"Well...it's all kind of complicated, but there's one thing. It's kind of stupid, I know, but true. If people thought me and Xander was bad, this would kill me popularity-wise."

"What is it?"

"Well...I kinda maybe have a majorly serious crush on..." Cordelia looked quickly around to see if anyone was in earshot, then leaned over and whispered in Willow's ear, "Giles."

Willow sat in stunned silence.

"I know," Cordelia moaned. "Why did you think I would be interested in Wesley? He's like a younger, dorkier Giles."

"I guess it does make sense." Willow nodded, slowly.

"Well, I figured Giles was out of my reach. Y'know, him being all proper Englishman and all that? Going out with a girl like, half his age -- doesn't sound too proper to me. Not like Americans. Daddy's got pals who hit on me all the time. In front of their wives, often as not." Cordelia snorted. "Not the kind of world I want to live in, y'know? I know I whine a lot, and am totally unhelpful, but this is an escape. A weird kind of escape, but the more time I spend with you people, the less time I have to spend with the sheep--"

Willow couldn't restrain a faint giggle at the idea of Cordelia calling her Cordettes sheep. Cordelia smiled too. "--and my parents. I'm just another toy. You people don't treat me like that. Granted, you don't treat me that great, but fair's fair. I don't treat you that great either."

"So...you like Giles."

"Yeah. I do. A whole lot."

"If it were any other guy, I'd say go for it."

"Even Snyder?"

There was a pause as the wrongness of that statement hit them, and they collapsed into helpless giggles, leaning on each other in their giggle-fit.

And this was how Giles found them.

He coughed politely.

Cordelia was the first to look up. "Oh...ummm...sorry to disturb the whole library silence thing. We just had some weird visuals."

"Sick visuals." Willow nodded her head vigorously. "It was so very, very wrong."

"What's so very, very wrong, Willster?" Xander interrupted, coming in. "Me cleaning toilets is wrong."

"The idea of Cordelia wanting to--"

Cordelia clapped a hand over Willow's mouth. No need to have Xander cracking jokes about her and Snyder. Eurgh. "Nothing, Xander, no biggie."

Understanding dawned in Willow's eyes as Cordelia let her go. "Yup. Nothing. Not a single thing."

"Nada." Cordelia put in helpfully.

"Zip."

"Zilch."

"Zero--"

"Okay, okay," Xander put his hands up in mock-surrender. "Enough, already. Hey -- since when are you and Cordelia Chase hangin' out and being all buddy-buddy?"

"Since...a while." Willow shrugged.

"Since we decided to hang out. Problem?" Cordelia arched one perfect brow.

Xander wondered if he should risk Cordelia's wrath, or try and see the side of her she was evidently showing others. "Nah, no problemo, Queen C. I am but your humble slave." He said this attempting to sound like a noble knight.

Amused by this turn of events, Cordelia held out a hand regally. "Well spoken, jester."

Playing along, Xander kissed her knuckles.

Giles chose now to interrupt. It was all getting a little too weird for him. "Ahem, if I may?"

Cordelia grinned impishly, and reclined in a queenly pose in her chair. "You may." She, Willow and Xander snickered lightly.

Giles rolled his eyes. "Ah--here comes Buffy," he glanced towards the door as Buffy came bounding through it.

"What'd I miss? And would it be so wrong to stake Principal Snyder?"

"You missed the weirdest of the weird, Queen C has defected to the dork side--"

"I'm laughing on the inside, Xander."

"--and we are her humble slaves."

"Hey! I'm a lady-in-waiting, I'll have you know." Willow objected.

"Yep. You're the slave, jester-boy. Where's your bells?" Cordelia prodded him with her toe. She'd taken off her sandals earlier, just because.

Buffy looked at Giles, confusion clear on her face.

Giles gave her a 'I Think They've Finally Cracked' look, and she shrugged.

"Buffy," he started, "I don't think you should stake your principal, and these three...well, I think it's wisest if we just let them be."

"I think we've been insulted, your Majesty." Xander said gravely.

Willow nodded solemnly. "I think we have."

"Well, Lady Willow, Jester, shall we withdraw to plot revenge, or just sit here and mock them some?" Cordelia feigned deep thought.

Willow and Xander did the same. "Mocking sounds good to me." Xander offered.

"Me too." Willow nodded.

"Good enough for me." Cordelia grinned. This was way more fun than ordering around sheep--oops, hanging out with her 'friends'.

Willow and Xander looked as though they were having a good time, too. Cordelia was more fun than they'd given her credit for.

Buffy and Giles still looked baffled, though.

Giles blinked, and shrugged. "As I was going to say before...Her Majesty here decided to play merry hell with the conversation--"

"You're quite welcome, peasant." Cordelia smiled pleasantly.

"--I was talking to the Liams, and they're not sure when they'll be going back to their...time."

"I'm going to miss them." Cordelia tilted her head, a wistful expression on her face. "The other me, Cordy, she's really nice."

"The new you is pretty okay, too," Xander told her. "Y'know, the one who jokes with me and Wills to play with Giles and Buffy's poor widdle minds."

"This is getting waaaaaay off subject." Buffy informed them.

"Since there's no sign of big bads around, do we even have a subject?" Cordelia inquired.

"I second that. Let's go get ice-cream!" Xander looked around hopefully.

"Sugar!" Willow did the puppy-dog eyes.

Cordelia gave an attractive pout. "My BQ is dangerously low. I need to be refueled with frozen yoghurt."

"BQ?" Giles raised an eyebrow.

"Like IQ, but bitchy." Cordelia put on her best perky, peppy, I Might Burst Into A Cheerleading Routine Any Minute Now voice.

"Ah." Giles regretted asking.

"Okay, no more frozen yoghurt for Cordy." Xander decided aloud, and got thumped. "Owww."

"Don't stand between a queen and her frozen yoghurt, mister."

"Aye, aye, Cap'n Cordy."

It was nice to see Cordelia and Xander back to bantering, and even nicer now that it was friendly banter, and not the nasty kind of banter. Willow smiled. Oddly enough, all was right with the world.

Buffy? Still reeling from the whole 'Cordelia is human, after all' thing.

And Giles? Trying to ignore the little glances he knew he was getting from Cordelia, and wondering what the hell was behind them.

***

Author's Note:

Okay...well, this whole chapter has been a bit strange. I don't know where I'm going with this. Next chapter, Angel, Cordy, and Genevieve will probably go home, there will be some present time scenes, and we'll get the inside scoop on Cordelia and...Giles?

Cordelia: Before you say a word, this was completely her idea. I allowed it under protest.

Author: Hah!

Cordelia: [pointedly ignores Adele]

Giles: Somebody save me...

Cordelia: Should I be offended?

Giles: [hurriedly clarifies] From the insane author.

Cordelia: That's all right then.

Angel: [is glaring at Giles, who is edging towards the door, glancing nervously at aforementioned vampire]

Wesley: A younger, dorkier Giles? [offended]

All (except Giles): Yes.

Giles: ...?

Cordelia: Gimme a K, gimme a I, gimme a L L A, gimme a D, gimme a E L E, what're we gonna do?

All: Kill Adele!

Author: [running for her life]

Review nicely and maybe they'll let me live...eeep!