HAHAHAHAHAHAAHA!!! We're back again!!  To wreak more havoc on all of you poor, innocent readers of fanfiction.net!!

RavenZERO: Please review!  We're not running a charity case here!! WE WANT REVIEWS! WE WANT REVIEWS!

(Liquid Snake smacks him on the head)

RavenZERO: OWWWWWWWWW!!! #@$#%!@!$@$%@…

Chapter 3- Fried Spy, anyone?

As Snake went on into the nuclear storage building, he received a call from the Colonel.

            "Snake, I need you to find-."

            "Have you ever noticed that you're only a Colonel?  I mean, for the amount of time you've been working, you should at least a Major, or something."

            "Snake, don't remind me.  And now, I need you to find the Metal Gear scientist, Hal Emmerich.  We believe he is surrounded by toxic gas and electric floors."

            "Oh, really, you sure about that?" Snake asked smugly.

            Snake walked into the corridor to Emmerich's room.

            HSSSSSS!

            BZAAAP!

            The smell of fried spy began to drift through the complex.

            "OUUUCH!  What's up with that?!"

            "Apparently he's asocial."

            Snake carefully made his way into the corridor.  As he reached the corridor leading directly into the lab, he saw a hallway full of dead guards.  One of them was collapsing, with a huge splinter in his back.  Snake moved on, and saw a dead guard hovering on top of…

            "Holy Shit!  A green ninja!"

            The ninja solidified and turned gray.

            "How did you see me?"

            "You're green."

            "But…damn, the cloak is broken again.  But then how did the guards miss me?"

            The dead guard mumbled softly, "We're…..col….or…..bli…nd……….", before he collapsed, dead.

            "Ohhhh…"

            The ninja ran off into the next room.

            When Snake went into the next room, he saw the ninja standing over a cowering, little man.

            "Hey, don't mess with the nerd.  I need him alive."

            "You do….well, in that case, I propose a contest of skills….."

            "Blackjack!"

            After taking the ninja's life savings, he went to take the nerd with him.

            "Not so fast!   Now we must duel!"

            "Really?  Oh, fine…"

            Snake pulled out a FAMAS and began to shoot at the ninja.  But the ninja blocked every shot with…

            "Did you just block all my fire with a piece of wood?"

            "Wood?  But this is my sword…"

            The ninja turned to look at the stick he had just used to deflect the bullets, and watched as it disintegrated.

            "Well, shit."

            He turned and sped off.

            "Okay then…" Snake said as he shook his head in disbelief.

            "Hey, thanks man…" The nerd said, getting up off the ground with some difficulty.

            "What the hell happened to you?" Snake asked, noticing the man's difficulty.

            "Oh, I sprained my ankle trying to do that 'yoga' stuff…" He said.

            "Oookkaaaayyy…"

            "I'm Hal Emmerich, head scientist for the development of Metal Gear REX."

            "So, you can tell me, what exactly is Metal Gear's main function?"

            "It's a mobile TMD, used for shooting down nuclear weapons, of course."

            Snake thinks for a minute, then takes out a thick stack of papers with the words "Metal Gear Solid Screenplay by Hideo Kojima" written on it.

            "Hmm…wait a second!  You're lying!"

            "What?!"

            "It says here that I have to say: 'I already know that Metal Gear is a walking death-mobile!'  Which means, that it IS a nuclear weapon!"

            "What the hell is that?!"

            "It's the script for 'Metal Gear Solid!'  What else would it be?!"

            Hideo Kojima walks in five seconds later, and gasps in surprise.

            "Dave, you found my script you lucky son of a bitch!"

            "Not your script, my script!" Snake yelled, clutching the script in his arms protectively. "You'll have to pry it from my cold, dead, kung fu grip!"

            "Gimme that script!" Kojima shouted, wrestling the script for his grip.

            "Sheese, fine…" Snake relented.

            "Thanks!" ^_^

            Kojima smiled happily, hugged the script, and ran off.

            Back to the story, now…

"Snake, I'm worried about Meryl."

            "Yeah, if that precious piece of ass gets harmed-."

            "AHEM!" _

            "Right, yeah.  I'm on it."

            Snake moved into the weapons locker, where Meryl was supposed to be, and found three guards, one of which he knew was Meryl.  He went up to the first, and pointed a gun the guard's head.

            "Who are you?"

            "I….I….I'M SORRY!   I'LL NEVER BORROW $3000 DOLLARS FROM THE CASINO EVER AGAIN!!  JUST DON'T KILL ME!"

            The guard ran off, never to return.

            "Okaaaaay then…" 0_0

            The next guard was obviously not Meryl.  He looked like he weighed three hundred pounds.  Snake pulled out a gun, and pointed it at that guard's head.  The second the guard felt the barrel touch his head, and collapsed from a heart attack.

            Snake went to the last guard and grabbed her in a chokehold.  The guard cried out, "Snake, its me!"

            "How can I be sure?"

            His hand slipped onto her chest.

            "Oh.  Ohhhhh." ^_^

            They moved on.