Snappy dressing dude gets hit on the head
Authors note: Well this took awhile didn't it? Well I'd like to say first, that this isn't slash and isn't going to turn into slash. And also the next two chapters should be up soon since they are already written. I just have to type them up, so yay!
-Chapter three: Three bumps are better than one-
Legolas woke, as all elves did, staring directly at the morning sky. However this beautiful sight was somewhat obstructed by Boromir who was staring directly into his eyes.
"Boromir?" Legolas said as the Gondorian man continued to stare at him
"Yes Legolas" Boromir answered while not moving.
"Why is it that you are starring at me while I sleep, do you suspect I shall try to harm you in my dreams? He said with a touch of mirth.
"I have simply never seen such a beautiful creature as that which is before me."
Legolas was deeply surprised by this reply and was momentarily speechless.
"Your hair's getting in my eyes," he finally said.
Boromir apologised profusely and then bent to help Legolas stand. Legolas took the proffered hand and shot Aragorn a look of inquiry.
Aragorn shrugged slightly and went back to the task at hand, his breakfast.
Boromir excused himself into the nearby woods while Legolas joined a conversation between Gandalf and the ranger.
The wizard sat atop a flat rock while Aragorn rested on a fallen tree bough.
"The weather has cleared, I suggest we set out today" said Aragorn as he finished his meal
"No," replied Gandalf "This morning I am positive I felt the presence of some evil beast"
"Wargs?" asked the ranger in shock
"No, spies of Saruman I am sure, Crebain. If we stay under the cover of these trees and cliffs for a few days, we should loose them"
"But surely we cannot loose that much time!"
"It is better for us to loose a few days journey than to alert the enemy Aragorn" replied the wizard.
Aragorn nodded.
"What say you Legolas?"
"What?" Legolas looked up at Aragorn; he had been starring at the wood and had let his thoughts wander.
Aragorn raised an eyebrow "Did I interrupt your thoughts Legolas? He asked lightly. "I thought you wished to input your council."
Legolas fought an un-elvan blush
"Ah, the arguments are for remaining or continuing?"
Aragorn nodded
"I agree with Gandalf. Uh Aragorn" the elf started. "Are you sure that Boromir is quite all right?"
"Are you referring to this morning's incident?" asked Gandalf
"Yes" said Legolas, failing to fight the redness that reached his ears now. "I didn't know Boromir was *that * way."
"What way?" asked Aragorn, confused.
Gandalf who had overheard what Boromir had spoken that morning, looked thoughtful. "To my knowledge he isn't...."
He was interrupted when the man in question strode out of the forest, rather dishevelled and muddy. Clutched in his hand was a small bunch of wild flowers. Boromir approached their small council and held out the bouquet to Legolas who rather awkwardly took it. Boromir winked at the elf and then returned to the fire side to get his own breakfast
"Hmmm" said Gandalf
Legolas looked at the flowers in his hand.
"Oh * that* way" said Aragorn
Gandalf laughed. "Don't look so uncomfortable Legolas, this is probably merely a result of Boromir's knock on the head. This time's rest will allow him to regain his wits. I am sure there is nothing to worry about Legolas." And with that he stood and went to talk to Frodo
Legolas looked at Aragorn "Its not that I really have a problem with.........that sort of thing, I mean a few of the elves back home......" He trailed off. There had been a sudden outburst of laughing from the nearby bushes. Legolas stood and extracted two hobbits who looked like they had some serious oxygen issues.
"What is with you hobbits and eaves dropping?" asked Legolas hotly.
"We..."Pippin gasped "avn't been..." "....dropping no eaves...." Merry spluttered and they both dissolved into laughter again. Legolas dropped them both on the hard ground "*Why *, were you spying on me? He said through gritted teeth.
"Because.....because...." Pippin couldn't contain himself any longer. "I've never seen such a beautiful creature!" with that the hobbits, staggering from much laughter ran over the Gandalf.
Legolas scowled after them and realised his hands were on his hips.
"And don't think I can't hear you snickering back there Estel!" he said, and without turning around he angrily strode away.
Once the elf was out of sight Aragorn let loose the gale of laughter which had threatened to cause him to burst.
"I can still hear you!" came Legolas' voice some distance away.
* * *
'This isn't working' thought Boromir as he ate his sausages.
She had taken the flowers sure enough, but looked no where near convinced that he was her one and only true love.
He'd have to try something more impressive, more daring, more manly.
He pondered this for a second. 'What was more manly than killing things!' He would show that she elf. He started to fanaticise about bright eyes and golden hair. He shook himself out of it. And put his hand on his sword pommel. Although, he had to admit that there wasn't a lot to kill lately
Well, he would just have to do the second manliest thing in middle earth. 'Lifting heavy stuff!' With this thought he jumped to his feet, spilling his breakfast on the ground and quite surprising the hobbits who sat about the morning fire. Just as he rose, his love walked past him and into the woods. 'This is my chance!' he thought. He looked around the camp swiftly for something to lift. There was a bolder which looked a *little * too big. There was a log which that damned Strider was sitting upon, other than that only small rocks and sticks. "What are you looking for Mr Boromir may I inquire?" Boromir looked down at the hobbit who had spoken to him and grinned evilly
* * *
Legolas had fled into the safety of the forest and was beginning to regain his equanimity when he heard pursuing footsteps. He judged them to be a man's, not Aragorn because he walked lightly as all rangers did. It sounded like Boromir only there was something different about his gait.
"Put me down, now!" Sam's voice was heard before Sam himself was seen; Boromir came crashing through the undergrowth holding a struggling hobbit "I'm warning you!" said Sam as he bucked in Boromir's grip. "Forget the shanks, I've have you by the, the, ham bone!" Boromir stopped when he saw Legolas.
"He is very heavy," he said proudly
Legolas closed his mouth which had been hanging open "Well put him down"
Boromir frowned, and then smiled again
"Ah but he is not too heavy or *me *." Boromir said and emphasised this by tossing the hobbit into the air.
"Aaaarheeee" squealed Sam
Boromir caught him again and smiled broadly at Legolas.
"Boromir" said Legolas patiently" put Sam down"
Boromir released Sam who gave him a threatening look and then ran back to the camp.
"Now Boromir" began Legolas
Boromir began to tune out the rest of what Legolas was saying. Things were not going as planned! Legolas wasn't even slightly impressed by his manliness, by Boromir's judgement and Sam sure wasn't a lightweight! There was only one other thing he could think of to get a girl's attention
"....and I hope you understand that Boromir" Legolas was finishing. He looked at Boromir, hoping he had gotten the message that while he had no problem with it, he was not *that * way. Boromir didn't' seem to be paying any attention
"Boromir" said Legolas crossly
Boromir started towards Legolas and before he knew what was going on the man had swept him off his feet and was kissing him on the mouth.
Legolas reacted quickly and with elvan skill and thus Boromir unwillingly left the world of the conscious the second time that week.
* * *
Aragorn was deeply surprised when the limp form of Boromir was suddenly unceremoniously dumped before him.
He looked up into the blue flashing eyes of Legolas
"DO.........something.........about.........HIM!" he ground out between clenched teeth.
"What happened?" asked Aragorn as he rolled the unconscious man over and felt a second bump forming under his hair.
"He.....he attacked me!"
"Boromir tried to hurt you? Asked Aragorn in surprise
"No....."
Legolas was interrupted once again as two hobbits suddenly burst into the campsite.
It was a full ten minutes before they had calmed down enough to speak and by that time (to the spying hobbits' disappointment) Legolas had already filled Aragorn in on what had transpired.
"I say we tie him up," said Legolas with conviction.
"Come on Legolas, you clearly did more harm to him than he did to you!"
"He is a danger to himself and others"
Aragorn looked at Legolas with disbelief
"Look, simply bind his wrists and legs, at least then he won't wander off, or try to.....do, stuff"
Aragorn looked at Gandalf who shrugged. "Do what you think is best Aragorn."
Aragorn looked at Legolas, who looked at the hobbits who were whispering behind their hands and looking at Legolas, Gimli was looking annoyingly amused. And Legolas could see that he was mouthing "Ooooooooooh yes Legolas, yes!". He narrowed his eyes at the dwarf.
Legolas then looked at Aragorn pleadingly
"All right" he said "Pass me some rope." He set about binding Boromir's hands "At least he will be less trouble this way."
"That I am sure of my friend" said Legolas
~Ten minutes later~
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"
Aragorn winced, Boromir had woken. He stood up.
"Where are you going?" asked Legolas "To untie him of course" "Sit down Aragorn, we can outlast him!!"
~ 2 hours, 43 minute and later~
".....AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRHHHHHHHHHHHHHH..."
All of the hobbits had their hands over their ears with the exception of Pippin who had a bag over his head.
Gimli and Gandalf had decided to go on a walk *deep * into the woods.
Aragorn had his hands clamped over his ears. He looked at Legolas who was serenely sitting on the grass
"Does not this bother you?!" Aragorn shouted above the noise
"No" replied the elf
"..AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHH"
Legolas' eye began to twitch.
"That's it" shouted Aragorn and he strode over and broke Boromir's bonds
"Thank you!" said Boromir as he rubbed his wrists.
"Are you going to conduct yourself properly now Boromir?" asked Aragorn
"Of course"
Boromir rose and walked over to where Legolas was sitting.
The elf ignored the man for a few minutes, but finally looked up.
Boromir winked at him.
* * *
Not five minutes after he had released Boromir there was a cry of pain and then a thud. Aragorn turned around "Legolas" he said reproachfully "How many bumps do you think he wants on his head?"
"Not my problem" said Legolas as he began to prepare for bed.
Its probably for the better, reflected Aragorn, he might be normal in the morning.
Alrightie. And that was the next chapter of course. Please review WANTED: One Beta reader to, well Beta read my LotR fic.
Authors note: Well this took awhile didn't it? Well I'd like to say first, that this isn't slash and isn't going to turn into slash. And also the next two chapters should be up soon since they are already written. I just have to type them up, so yay!
-Chapter three: Three bumps are better than one-
Legolas woke, as all elves did, staring directly at the morning sky. However this beautiful sight was somewhat obstructed by Boromir who was staring directly into his eyes.
"Boromir?" Legolas said as the Gondorian man continued to stare at him
"Yes Legolas" Boromir answered while not moving.
"Why is it that you are starring at me while I sleep, do you suspect I shall try to harm you in my dreams? He said with a touch of mirth.
"I have simply never seen such a beautiful creature as that which is before me."
Legolas was deeply surprised by this reply and was momentarily speechless.
"Your hair's getting in my eyes," he finally said.
Boromir apologised profusely and then bent to help Legolas stand. Legolas took the proffered hand and shot Aragorn a look of inquiry.
Aragorn shrugged slightly and went back to the task at hand, his breakfast.
Boromir excused himself into the nearby woods while Legolas joined a conversation between Gandalf and the ranger.
The wizard sat atop a flat rock while Aragorn rested on a fallen tree bough.
"The weather has cleared, I suggest we set out today" said Aragorn as he finished his meal
"No," replied Gandalf "This morning I am positive I felt the presence of some evil beast"
"Wargs?" asked the ranger in shock
"No, spies of Saruman I am sure, Crebain. If we stay under the cover of these trees and cliffs for a few days, we should loose them"
"But surely we cannot loose that much time!"
"It is better for us to loose a few days journey than to alert the enemy Aragorn" replied the wizard.
Aragorn nodded.
"What say you Legolas?"
"What?" Legolas looked up at Aragorn; he had been starring at the wood and had let his thoughts wander.
Aragorn raised an eyebrow "Did I interrupt your thoughts Legolas? He asked lightly. "I thought you wished to input your council."
Legolas fought an un-elvan blush
"Ah, the arguments are for remaining or continuing?"
Aragorn nodded
"I agree with Gandalf. Uh Aragorn" the elf started. "Are you sure that Boromir is quite all right?"
"Are you referring to this morning's incident?" asked Gandalf
"Yes" said Legolas, failing to fight the redness that reached his ears now. "I didn't know Boromir was *that * way."
"What way?" asked Aragorn, confused.
Gandalf who had overheard what Boromir had spoken that morning, looked thoughtful. "To my knowledge he isn't...."
He was interrupted when the man in question strode out of the forest, rather dishevelled and muddy. Clutched in his hand was a small bunch of wild flowers. Boromir approached their small council and held out the bouquet to Legolas who rather awkwardly took it. Boromir winked at the elf and then returned to the fire side to get his own breakfast
"Hmmm" said Gandalf
Legolas looked at the flowers in his hand.
"Oh * that* way" said Aragorn
Gandalf laughed. "Don't look so uncomfortable Legolas, this is probably merely a result of Boromir's knock on the head. This time's rest will allow him to regain his wits. I am sure there is nothing to worry about Legolas." And with that he stood and went to talk to Frodo
Legolas looked at Aragorn "Its not that I really have a problem with.........that sort of thing, I mean a few of the elves back home......" He trailed off. There had been a sudden outburst of laughing from the nearby bushes. Legolas stood and extracted two hobbits who looked like they had some serious oxygen issues.
"What is with you hobbits and eaves dropping?" asked Legolas hotly.
"We..."Pippin gasped "avn't been..." "....dropping no eaves...." Merry spluttered and they both dissolved into laughter again. Legolas dropped them both on the hard ground "*Why *, were you spying on me? He said through gritted teeth.
"Because.....because...." Pippin couldn't contain himself any longer. "I've never seen such a beautiful creature!" with that the hobbits, staggering from much laughter ran over the Gandalf.
Legolas scowled after them and realised his hands were on his hips.
"And don't think I can't hear you snickering back there Estel!" he said, and without turning around he angrily strode away.
Once the elf was out of sight Aragorn let loose the gale of laughter which had threatened to cause him to burst.
"I can still hear you!" came Legolas' voice some distance away.
* * *
'This isn't working' thought Boromir as he ate his sausages.
She had taken the flowers sure enough, but looked no where near convinced that he was her one and only true love.
He'd have to try something more impressive, more daring, more manly.
He pondered this for a second. 'What was more manly than killing things!' He would show that she elf. He started to fanaticise about bright eyes and golden hair. He shook himself out of it. And put his hand on his sword pommel. Although, he had to admit that there wasn't a lot to kill lately
Well, he would just have to do the second manliest thing in middle earth. 'Lifting heavy stuff!' With this thought he jumped to his feet, spilling his breakfast on the ground and quite surprising the hobbits who sat about the morning fire. Just as he rose, his love walked past him and into the woods. 'This is my chance!' he thought. He looked around the camp swiftly for something to lift. There was a bolder which looked a *little * too big. There was a log which that damned Strider was sitting upon, other than that only small rocks and sticks. "What are you looking for Mr Boromir may I inquire?" Boromir looked down at the hobbit who had spoken to him and grinned evilly
* * *
Legolas had fled into the safety of the forest and was beginning to regain his equanimity when he heard pursuing footsteps. He judged them to be a man's, not Aragorn because he walked lightly as all rangers did. It sounded like Boromir only there was something different about his gait.
"Put me down, now!" Sam's voice was heard before Sam himself was seen; Boromir came crashing through the undergrowth holding a struggling hobbit "I'm warning you!" said Sam as he bucked in Boromir's grip. "Forget the shanks, I've have you by the, the, ham bone!" Boromir stopped when he saw Legolas.
"He is very heavy," he said proudly
Legolas closed his mouth which had been hanging open "Well put him down"
Boromir frowned, and then smiled again
"Ah but he is not too heavy or *me *." Boromir said and emphasised this by tossing the hobbit into the air.
"Aaaarheeee" squealed Sam
Boromir caught him again and smiled broadly at Legolas.
"Boromir" said Legolas patiently" put Sam down"
Boromir released Sam who gave him a threatening look and then ran back to the camp.
"Now Boromir" began Legolas
Boromir began to tune out the rest of what Legolas was saying. Things were not going as planned! Legolas wasn't even slightly impressed by his manliness, by Boromir's judgement and Sam sure wasn't a lightweight! There was only one other thing he could think of to get a girl's attention
"....and I hope you understand that Boromir" Legolas was finishing. He looked at Boromir, hoping he had gotten the message that while he had no problem with it, he was not *that * way. Boromir didn't' seem to be paying any attention
"Boromir" said Legolas crossly
Boromir started towards Legolas and before he knew what was going on the man had swept him off his feet and was kissing him on the mouth.
Legolas reacted quickly and with elvan skill and thus Boromir unwillingly left the world of the conscious the second time that week.
* * *
Aragorn was deeply surprised when the limp form of Boromir was suddenly unceremoniously dumped before him.
He looked up into the blue flashing eyes of Legolas
"DO.........something.........about.........HIM!" he ground out between clenched teeth.
"What happened?" asked Aragorn as he rolled the unconscious man over and felt a second bump forming under his hair.
"He.....he attacked me!"
"Boromir tried to hurt you? Asked Aragorn in surprise
"No....."
Legolas was interrupted once again as two hobbits suddenly burst into the campsite.
It was a full ten minutes before they had calmed down enough to speak and by that time (to the spying hobbits' disappointment) Legolas had already filled Aragorn in on what had transpired.
"I say we tie him up," said Legolas with conviction.
"Come on Legolas, you clearly did more harm to him than he did to you!"
"He is a danger to himself and others"
Aragorn looked at Legolas with disbelief
"Look, simply bind his wrists and legs, at least then he won't wander off, or try to.....do, stuff"
Aragorn looked at Gandalf who shrugged. "Do what you think is best Aragorn."
Aragorn looked at Legolas, who looked at the hobbits who were whispering behind their hands and looking at Legolas, Gimli was looking annoyingly amused. And Legolas could see that he was mouthing "Ooooooooooh yes Legolas, yes!". He narrowed his eyes at the dwarf.
Legolas then looked at Aragorn pleadingly
"All right" he said "Pass me some rope." He set about binding Boromir's hands "At least he will be less trouble this way."
"That I am sure of my friend" said Legolas
~Ten minutes later~
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"
Aragorn winced, Boromir had woken. He stood up.
"Where are you going?" asked Legolas "To untie him of course" "Sit down Aragorn, we can outlast him!!"
~ 2 hours, 43 minute and later~
".....AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRHHHHHHHHHHHHHH..."
All of the hobbits had their hands over their ears with the exception of Pippin who had a bag over his head.
Gimli and Gandalf had decided to go on a walk *deep * into the woods.
Aragorn had his hands clamped over his ears. He looked at Legolas who was serenely sitting on the grass
"Does not this bother you?!" Aragorn shouted above the noise
"No" replied the elf
"..AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHH"
Legolas' eye began to twitch.
"That's it" shouted Aragorn and he strode over and broke Boromir's bonds
"Thank you!" said Boromir as he rubbed his wrists.
"Are you going to conduct yourself properly now Boromir?" asked Aragorn
"Of course"
Boromir rose and walked over to where Legolas was sitting.
The elf ignored the man for a few minutes, but finally looked up.
Boromir winked at him.
* * *
Not five minutes after he had released Boromir there was a cry of pain and then a thud. Aragorn turned around "Legolas" he said reproachfully "How many bumps do you think he wants on his head?"
"Not my problem" said Legolas as he began to prepare for bed.
Its probably for the better, reflected Aragorn, he might be normal in the morning.
Alrightie. And that was the next chapter of course. Please review WANTED: One Beta reader to, well Beta read my LotR fic.