A/N: I don't own Calvin and Hobbes, but I do own Mr. McSmith. Also, I use the names I gave Calvin's parents in 'Calvin's Dad: Six Years Old." (Carol and Zachary)
Calvin never thought it would happen, but it did. He awoke (to his mother shouting at him) on the first day of school. But it was more than that. He was in second grade now, instead of first grade. He was going to get a new teacher. He was going to get new classmates. He was excited, but not about going to school. He was excited because he was going to have the chance to never have to see Susie Derkins in his class for a whole year!
Calvin was dragged out of bed by his mom and sat down to pour himself a bowl of Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs. He ate in silence, thinking about what was going to happen to him now that he had a new teacher. "You seem awefully quiet this morning," his mom commented as she started humming and bouncing.
"Well, I'm excited about going to school," Calvin said. However, he didn't say what he was excited about.
"I'm glad to hear that you're finally learning to appreciate academics!" Calvin's mom replied, showing a little shock on her face. Just then, the phone rang. "I'll go get it, Calvin," she said, and bounced over to the phone. "Hello? Oh, hi, Nancy!" she said. She was talking to Mrs. Derkins. "How is Susie doing? That's good. Oh, I'm fine!" She paused for a few moments before responding. "That's a great idea, Nancy! I'll tell Calvin right away! I'll pick up Susie today," she said, and hung up the phone. "Guess what, Calvin!" she smiled when she got to her son.
"Hoh boy..." Calvin muttered.
"Mrs. Derkins had a great idea! How would you like to carpool with Susie?"
"How would you like to be force-fed live leeches?" Calvin responded sarcastically.
"Calvin! We're doing the Derkins's a favor, carpooling with them! Now, go brush your teeth and get your backpack!"
"Our bold hero-" Calvin started to say, but his mom inturrupted him.
"Don't give me that! GO!" she ordered.
"Zounds! Spiff's nemisis has mind controll power!" Calvin exclaimed, and walked robot-like up the stairs to his bathroom.
"Hi, Nancy!" Calvin's mom waved to Mrs. Derkins when she was in Calvin's driveway.
"Hi, Carol! I hope this isn't too much trouble for you!" Mrs. Derkins waved back as she ushered Susie out of the front door.
"Oh, not at all! I have nothing to do Monday and Thursday mornings!"
"That's good. Bye, Susie! Have a good day at school!" she waved to Susie as she climbed into the car.
"Bye, Mom!" Susie waved back. Then she turned her attention to Calvin. "Who's your teacher this year?"
"Mr. McSmith, as if it was any business of yours!" Calvin stuck his tounge out at Susie.
"CALVIN! That's rude!" Calvin's mom scolded.
"Sorry, Mom..." he muttered.
"Well, MY teacher is Mrs. Adsenor. I've heard she's really nice. Almost like Miss Wormwood!" Susie said happily.
"I'd hate to be you, having to go through ANOTHER year of being in Wormwood's clutches," Calvin sneered.
"She is NOT Miss Wormwood! She's like her, that's all!" Susie protested.
"Think whatever you like," Calvin said in a singsong voice.
"OOOOH!" Susie fumed, then turned away from Calvin and looked out of the window.
They got to school ten minutes early, so the two of them had to stand on the playground. Susie immediatly went to talk with her friends, but since Calvin didn't have any, he ran about narrating a Tracer Bullet adventure.
"The dame was in confusion, thinking she was going to enjoy herself in another year of my old clients grasp. How amazing the mind of a female works," Calvin started to say, but he was inturrupted by the ring of the bell. "Drat! I have to go to school!" Calvin trudged up the steps towards the big school building.
Calvin slowly walked down the hallway to his new classroom. On the way there, he passed by Miss Wormwood's class. He chanced a glance inside and saw her telling all of her new students the classroom rules. "Miss Wormwood doesn't waste any time," he muttered, and continued down the hallway to room 13. He did eventually reach the classroom. However, he was ten minutes late.
"... and I also encourage each and every, oh, hello! Did you come in late?" a tall man, obviously Mr. McSmith, asked Calvin when he stepped in the room.
"Huh? Oh, yes. Sorry, my mom dropped me off late," Calvin lied quickly.
"Well, what's your name?" Mr. McSmith asked, falling for Calvin's lie.
"Calvin."
"Calvin... Calvin... oh! I see! Please sit in desk 5A," Mr. McSmith said, pointing to a desk. Calvin looked at it, and saw, to his horror, that he had to sit next to Moe!!! Moe grinned an evil sort of grin that he gave Calvin sometimes.
"WHAT? Mr. McSmith, Moe is sitting there!" Calvin exclaimed.
"I know, Calvin. I'm sure Moe's a very nice person. Please sit down."
"Mr. McSmith, Moe nearly beat me to a pulp last year daily!" Calvin protested.
"Well, I'm sure Moe won't pick on you, or 'beat you to a pulp' again. So please, sit down."
Moaning piteously, Calvin walked over to desk 5A and sat down next to Moe. "I'm gonna pound you at recess, Twinky," Moe smirked at Calvin. Calvin just gulped.
"Now, as I was saying, I encourage each and every one of you do your best. I'm new in this school this year, so I hope that from what I experienced at Ronald Q. Kellihiemer Elementary will help me here!" he said, then put another thing in. "Also, today Mrs. Adsenor is going to come in with her class so we can go over our policies."
Calvin started pounding his head on the desk. `NO! NOT MRS. ADSENOR!` he thought.
"Calvin, is there a problem?" Mr. McSmith asked, raising an eyebrow at Calvin.
"A problem? No, there isn't a problem..." Calvin said in an unusually high voice.
"Oh, OK, then. Well, look! Here comes Mrs. Adsenor and her class! C'mon in, Mrs. Adsenor!" He opened the door to room 13, and in walked Mrs. Adsenor along with many other people from Calvin's class last year. Tommy Chestnut, 'Filthy' Rich, Candace, Jessica, Ronald, and, of course, Susie Derkins. Calvin shuddered at seeing Susie in his classroom.
"Hi, Mr. McSmith," she said glumly. She was like Miss Wormwood. She was very dissapointed at the fact of going through another year of teaching children.
"Well, let's get started!" Mr. McSmith said happily. Calvin groaned. He'd have to go through another year of this!
"Our first rule is that everybody needs to enjoy learning!" Mr. McSmith smiled. Obviously, Mr. McSmith seriously enjoyed the value of learning, but, unlike Miss Wormwood, he was obsessed with it. That was bad, in Calvin's opinion.
After ten more minutes of discussing 'rules and such', Mrs. Adsenor left the class room, and it was time for morning recess. Out on the playground, Calvin sat on the teeter-totter alone, thinking about what he could do with Hobbes when he got home. "Hey, Twinky," came a familiar growl-like voice from behind Calvin.
"Oh no..." Calvin moaned.
"Ready to get pounded?" Moe asked, however, it was less of a question and more of an order. Calvin gulped, and right when Moe was about to punch Calvin, Mr. McSmith ran across the playground to the two of them.
"MOE! STOP! STOP!" He grabbed Moe's arm. "STOP IMMEDIATELY! MOE! I'M GOING TO ESCORT YOU TO THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE!" he shouted. Then, calming down, he told Calvin, "Calvin, please come with me."
`Great... I'm probably in a whole lot of trouble! But for what?` Calvin thought as he sat sweating in Mr. McSmith's classroom, after Moe was taken to Mr. Spittle's classroom.
"I'm sorry I made you sit with Moe, Calvin," Mr. McSmith said, bursting into the room. "I didn't know he was so violent. He's been suspened from school for a week, so you won't have to deal with him."
Calvin's heart skipped a beat. "YES!" he shouted, not bothering to keep his voice down. "MOE'S BEEN SUSPENDED! I WON'T HAVE TO SEE HIM FOR A WEEK!"
Mr. McSmith raised an eyebrow. "Well, I take it you don't like Moe!"
"He's always been nasty to me. I never want to see him again!"
"Well, recess is over. Please return to your seat," Mr. McSmith said when the bell rang.
For the rest of the day, class went well. Without Moe there, he wasn't being put through torture. After he got home, he told Hobbes about Moe getting suspended.
".... and the best part is he'll be gone for a week!"
"That's good," Hobbes said.
"Yeah. I'm glad Susie isn't in my class, and I'm REALLY glad Moe's been suspended!"
Hobbes grinned, and Calvin sat down and they started planning an attack on Susie.
Calvin never thought it would happen, but it did. He awoke (to his mother shouting at him) on the first day of school. But it was more than that. He was in second grade now, instead of first grade. He was going to get a new teacher. He was going to get new classmates. He was excited, but not about going to school. He was excited because he was going to have the chance to never have to see Susie Derkins in his class for a whole year!
Calvin was dragged out of bed by his mom and sat down to pour himself a bowl of Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs. He ate in silence, thinking about what was going to happen to him now that he had a new teacher. "You seem awefully quiet this morning," his mom commented as she started humming and bouncing.
"Well, I'm excited about going to school," Calvin said. However, he didn't say what he was excited about.
"I'm glad to hear that you're finally learning to appreciate academics!" Calvin's mom replied, showing a little shock on her face. Just then, the phone rang. "I'll go get it, Calvin," she said, and bounced over to the phone. "Hello? Oh, hi, Nancy!" she said. She was talking to Mrs. Derkins. "How is Susie doing? That's good. Oh, I'm fine!" She paused for a few moments before responding. "That's a great idea, Nancy! I'll tell Calvin right away! I'll pick up Susie today," she said, and hung up the phone. "Guess what, Calvin!" she smiled when she got to her son.
"Hoh boy..." Calvin muttered.
"Mrs. Derkins had a great idea! How would you like to carpool with Susie?"
"How would you like to be force-fed live leeches?" Calvin responded sarcastically.
"Calvin! We're doing the Derkins's a favor, carpooling with them! Now, go brush your teeth and get your backpack!"
"Our bold hero-" Calvin started to say, but his mom inturrupted him.
"Don't give me that! GO!" she ordered.
"Zounds! Spiff's nemisis has mind controll power!" Calvin exclaimed, and walked robot-like up the stairs to his bathroom.
"Hi, Nancy!" Calvin's mom waved to Mrs. Derkins when she was in Calvin's driveway.
"Hi, Carol! I hope this isn't too much trouble for you!" Mrs. Derkins waved back as she ushered Susie out of the front door.
"Oh, not at all! I have nothing to do Monday and Thursday mornings!"
"That's good. Bye, Susie! Have a good day at school!" she waved to Susie as she climbed into the car.
"Bye, Mom!" Susie waved back. Then she turned her attention to Calvin. "Who's your teacher this year?"
"Mr. McSmith, as if it was any business of yours!" Calvin stuck his tounge out at Susie.
"CALVIN! That's rude!" Calvin's mom scolded.
"Sorry, Mom..." he muttered.
"Well, MY teacher is Mrs. Adsenor. I've heard she's really nice. Almost like Miss Wormwood!" Susie said happily.
"I'd hate to be you, having to go through ANOTHER year of being in Wormwood's clutches," Calvin sneered.
"She is NOT Miss Wormwood! She's like her, that's all!" Susie protested.
"Think whatever you like," Calvin said in a singsong voice.
"OOOOH!" Susie fumed, then turned away from Calvin and looked out of the window.
They got to school ten minutes early, so the two of them had to stand on the playground. Susie immediatly went to talk with her friends, but since Calvin didn't have any, he ran about narrating a Tracer Bullet adventure.
"The dame was in confusion, thinking she was going to enjoy herself in another year of my old clients grasp. How amazing the mind of a female works," Calvin started to say, but he was inturrupted by the ring of the bell. "Drat! I have to go to school!" Calvin trudged up the steps towards the big school building.
Calvin slowly walked down the hallway to his new classroom. On the way there, he passed by Miss Wormwood's class. He chanced a glance inside and saw her telling all of her new students the classroom rules. "Miss Wormwood doesn't waste any time," he muttered, and continued down the hallway to room 13. He did eventually reach the classroom. However, he was ten minutes late.
"... and I also encourage each and every, oh, hello! Did you come in late?" a tall man, obviously Mr. McSmith, asked Calvin when he stepped in the room.
"Huh? Oh, yes. Sorry, my mom dropped me off late," Calvin lied quickly.
"Well, what's your name?" Mr. McSmith asked, falling for Calvin's lie.
"Calvin."
"Calvin... Calvin... oh! I see! Please sit in desk 5A," Mr. McSmith said, pointing to a desk. Calvin looked at it, and saw, to his horror, that he had to sit next to Moe!!! Moe grinned an evil sort of grin that he gave Calvin sometimes.
"WHAT? Mr. McSmith, Moe is sitting there!" Calvin exclaimed.
"I know, Calvin. I'm sure Moe's a very nice person. Please sit down."
"Mr. McSmith, Moe nearly beat me to a pulp last year daily!" Calvin protested.
"Well, I'm sure Moe won't pick on you, or 'beat you to a pulp' again. So please, sit down."
Moaning piteously, Calvin walked over to desk 5A and sat down next to Moe. "I'm gonna pound you at recess, Twinky," Moe smirked at Calvin. Calvin just gulped.
"Now, as I was saying, I encourage each and every one of you do your best. I'm new in this school this year, so I hope that from what I experienced at Ronald Q. Kellihiemer Elementary will help me here!" he said, then put another thing in. "Also, today Mrs. Adsenor is going to come in with her class so we can go over our policies."
Calvin started pounding his head on the desk. `NO! NOT MRS. ADSENOR!` he thought.
"Calvin, is there a problem?" Mr. McSmith asked, raising an eyebrow at Calvin.
"A problem? No, there isn't a problem..." Calvin said in an unusually high voice.
"Oh, OK, then. Well, look! Here comes Mrs. Adsenor and her class! C'mon in, Mrs. Adsenor!" He opened the door to room 13, and in walked Mrs. Adsenor along with many other people from Calvin's class last year. Tommy Chestnut, 'Filthy' Rich, Candace, Jessica, Ronald, and, of course, Susie Derkins. Calvin shuddered at seeing Susie in his classroom.
"Hi, Mr. McSmith," she said glumly. She was like Miss Wormwood. She was very dissapointed at the fact of going through another year of teaching children.
"Well, let's get started!" Mr. McSmith said happily. Calvin groaned. He'd have to go through another year of this!
"Our first rule is that everybody needs to enjoy learning!" Mr. McSmith smiled. Obviously, Mr. McSmith seriously enjoyed the value of learning, but, unlike Miss Wormwood, he was obsessed with it. That was bad, in Calvin's opinion.
After ten more minutes of discussing 'rules and such', Mrs. Adsenor left the class room, and it was time for morning recess. Out on the playground, Calvin sat on the teeter-totter alone, thinking about what he could do with Hobbes when he got home. "Hey, Twinky," came a familiar growl-like voice from behind Calvin.
"Oh no..." Calvin moaned.
"Ready to get pounded?" Moe asked, however, it was less of a question and more of an order. Calvin gulped, and right when Moe was about to punch Calvin, Mr. McSmith ran across the playground to the two of them.
"MOE! STOP! STOP!" He grabbed Moe's arm. "STOP IMMEDIATELY! MOE! I'M GOING TO ESCORT YOU TO THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE!" he shouted. Then, calming down, he told Calvin, "Calvin, please come with me."
`Great... I'm probably in a whole lot of trouble! But for what?` Calvin thought as he sat sweating in Mr. McSmith's classroom, after Moe was taken to Mr. Spittle's classroom.
"I'm sorry I made you sit with Moe, Calvin," Mr. McSmith said, bursting into the room. "I didn't know he was so violent. He's been suspened from school for a week, so you won't have to deal with him."
Calvin's heart skipped a beat. "YES!" he shouted, not bothering to keep his voice down. "MOE'S BEEN SUSPENDED! I WON'T HAVE TO SEE HIM FOR A WEEK!"
Mr. McSmith raised an eyebrow. "Well, I take it you don't like Moe!"
"He's always been nasty to me. I never want to see him again!"
"Well, recess is over. Please return to your seat," Mr. McSmith said when the bell rang.
For the rest of the day, class went well. Without Moe there, he wasn't being put through torture. After he got home, he told Hobbes about Moe getting suspended.
".... and the best part is he'll be gone for a week!"
"That's good," Hobbes said.
"Yeah. I'm glad Susie isn't in my class, and I'm REALLY glad Moe's been suspended!"
Hobbes grinned, and Calvin sat down and they started planning an attack on Susie.