Last chapter here! Must say I'm very proud of this story! Don't know why really, I just am… =o) Anyway, have unfinished stories lying here at home, that I might put to use someday.
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PS: In my opinion, this is the best chapter!!!!! Not because of the content, but because of what it says. With the words I mean… Ok, I'm confusing you! Read on!!!!!
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Third and final chapter
Zell was sitting at the beach, looking out over the clear, calm ocean, wishing his thoughts and insides were the same. He had been fighting a guilty conscience, a lonely mind and a broken heart. Saying those words to Squall had been killing him, but it had to be done. It wasn't fair that another lover was taken from Squall. Once was enough, and obviously Seifer loved Squall, just as much as he had done, so Squall would never be out of love. And the lion needed it bad. Zells own unhappiness was a small price to pay for the happiness of Squall.
" Zell", a deep, masculine voice addressed him. He looked up.
" Seifer… Listen…"
" No, you listen. I need you to come with me, it's about Squall."
" Seifer, me and Squall are through. Please, it hard for me as it is."
" It's hard for Squall too. Did you know he tried to commit suicide? I don't know the details, but I know that you do. He's in a coma at the hospital, and for some reason, you might be his only chance to wake up… ever."
Zell just sat there, mind blank. It took a while for him to process all the words, and to understand the meaning of them. Squall tried to kill himself because of what had happened? Why?
" How?" he whispered.
" He jumped of a cliff."
A sharp intake of breath, and Zell replayed the entire previous incident, entitled "The Break-up".
" Where?"
" The Esthar Point." Where he'd left him.
" Seifer… I don't know…"
" Damn it Zell! Think about Squall! He needs you! Now get your ass out of the sand and move it to the hospital!"
" Fine! But there's no way this will make me take what I said back."
" Fine. Just go."
The massive darkness around him wasn't frightening. Squall welcomed it. The darkness made him forget. He didn't remember what, but there was something outside of that darkness that he didn't want to remember. Well, sort of. Suddenly there was a flash of light in the darkness and it surprised him. It was supposed to be dark, he'd chosen it. Suddenly it flashed again. It was something familiar with the flashes.
Suddenly the flashes became stronger but they had changed. They were familiar too, more familiar, but they where different. And sometimes they where mixed with the other flashes. It confused him. Why was it like this.
Suddenly one flash brightened up everything and an image appeared. It was smothered, like a water painting, but it was obvious it was a person. That person filled him with warmth and he felt how the darkness around him eased.
Seifer led the nervous Zell into the room. The boy had tried to wriggle out of this once more, but Seifer had just continued to persist, and the martial artist finally agreed.
Squall was still in his bed, a lot of wires attached to his temples, wrists and the skin above the aorta.
" Oh, you must be Zell", the nurse said, the same one as when Seifer was there before. Beside her stood a tall doctor, carefully eying the monitor by Squalls side. When they entered he turned, giving him and Zell the same observing gaze. The gaze from a man that missed nothing, or it would mean death of another human. Somehow he made Seifer uncomfortable.
" Which one of you are Zell?" he asked. Eyes neutral, unaffected, sterile.
A shivering hand was raised, and Zell stepped forward.
" I am."
The monitor started beeping, and the line made a steep curve upwards, touching the red line. Squall took a deep breath.
" That's what I thought. Would you please come and stand here by the bed." A question demanded to be obeyed. And it was.
For each step Zell took, the beep from the monitor increased and the line jumped to the red line in their rhythm.
" He knows you're here."
Zells eyes darted around the room, obviously uncomfortable by being the centre of attention.
" Talk to him, would you please. About the weather."
With a frown Zell made a move towards the chair, but the doctor stopped him.
" Not yet. Try it standing a bit away from him."
" Eh… Hi Squall. It's nice weather out today, don't you agree? All that sunshine, it can really make you see things, can't it."
" Good, now talk about something more personal, but stay were you are."
" Well… I can't… Seifer?"
He turned towards Seifer, and his eyes were pleading. A part of Seifer was glad that he wasn't being put through this.
" Talk about how the two of you met."
Zell nodded, asking the floor for the memories.
" Do you remember Squall? It was in January, two years ago. It was during a mission and we finished early, so we had two days to wait for our ride home. During that time, I got the fever. A real high one, so I don't remember much, but I remember that I woke up one morning, seeing you, and you gently stroke my hair back. " I was so worried about you", you whispered, and you touched my face, kissed me…"
Tears started to stream down Zell face, unconsciously, and Seifers heart ached with compassion. Suddenly Zell turned around.
" I'm sorry, I can't do this."
" Zell, you have to", Seifer walked over to him, grabbing his shoulder. " Damn it, Zell! Can't you see how close you are to waking him up? That line has touched the red mark many times. If someone can wake him up, it's you. Now you're gonna do this, for his, mine AND your sake!"
Zell glared up him, but his anger faked. Zells eyes had always been the mirror of his feelings. And now they were torn.
" Please."
He nodded, finally, walking back to the bed.
" Stand a little closer this time, am keep it personal."
This time the subject came easier. Apparently the fact that he'd shared so much already made him forget the embarrassment.
" Our first date, unofficial, was at the Garden Terrace. You'd ordered dinner from my favorite restaurant and lit candles everywhere. I couldn't even believe that you remembered when I told you that. Anyway, as we sat there…"
There was a long pause in the story, and Seifer realized that Zell was crying again. To his own horror, Seifer realized he did the same.
" As we sat there, it was the first time you told me that you…"
The line was practically dancing at the red mark.
" It's like he's waiting for something…"
Zell nodded slowly, knowing what words it was Squall wanted to hear.
" I'm sorry Squall, I can't say it to you."
His eyes was now overflowing with tears, making his shoulders shake. Something inside Seifer wanted to go over to Zell, comfort him, but knew that if he did, Zell wouldn't feel forced to say the words. He had an idea of which they were.
" I just can't", he continued, trying to convince both himself and everyone around him, and maybe most especially, Squall. " If I tell you, I won't ever be able to let you go… And for both of us, I have to do that."
Seifers heart sank deeper, now when he had his suspicions confirmed. This would be a rough ride for everyone involved. And he feared that he'd be the one leaving the ship first…alone.
" Tell him Zell. Bring him back."
" Fine!" his voice was high, and broken with sobs. " Fine, but it'll just hurt him."
A deep breath later it was out in the air, and the line came above the red mark.
" Squall, I love you."
The darkness around him cleared, and everything suddenly turned light blue. A color he knew well.
" Zell?"
He was aware of things now. He felt the presence of people. And the presence of the person he'd seen and just named. He said the name again.
" Zell?"
" I'm here Squall."
It felt…light, for Squall. Like something had been lifted off of him. Like a puzzle finally had been finished. And the image was clearly laying in front of him.
" Zell."
" Yes, Squall. And Seifer's here too."
His eyes tore away from Zells, and behind him stood that other familiar light.
" Seifer."
" Yeah. Someone must look after you, right?"
Squall smiled weakly. There was something painful too, about seeing Zell there, but he couldn't really remember.
" I just need to run a few tests on you, Mr Leonhart. And I need to ask you two to wait outside for a moment. You can see him again afterwards. I'll let you know."
And with that, Zell and Seifer left the room, leaving Squall with a swirl of emotions in a hospital bed, with a splitting headache and a broken heart.
Zell sat down in one of the chairs outside in the corridor. Everything felt so wrong, somehow. Seifer sat down beside him, offering silent support, the kind that meant the most to Zell. But he needed to speak.
" Seifer, I have to leave. I've just confused him more now. He might not remember why he woke up, but he'll have a clue. And… Seifer, it's not fair."
" To whom?"
" Well, for starters, to you! I mean, you're his boyfriend now. To him, it's not fair to take two lovers from him. He needs to live a stable life. Nor to me. It hurts too much."
" Zell", Seifer began, voice low, serious. " How do you feel about Squall, and remember, it's me you're talking to. I'm not gonna run in there and tell him…"
"…"
" Well?"
" I love him very much, Seifer." Why deny the obvious?
" Do you love him as much as he obviously loves you?"
" More."
" Then you're right. It is unfair. But not for the reasons you present. It's unfair, because Squall is denied his true love, the only love that can make him truly happy. Unfair to me, because I have to live with the knowledge that I'm second best. And to you, who need to suppress your feelings. Your strong feelings. And not to mention that the entire situation is unhealthy to all of us. Just look at the man in there. If you love him as much as you say you do, make sure you show it to him. Let him know. As you said, he needs to be loved, and only the one that loves him the most, can love him the best."
Zell hung his head. He knew it was true. And he wanted it to be.
" All right. But Seifer… Don't leave. You were Squalls best friend. Don't let him loose that too."
" I won't."
The door to Squalls room opened and the doctor came out.
" The tests are done, you can go in and see him now. But I strongly request you to advise him to take some therapy. It was a rather shocking experience to him."
And with that, the doctor walked away, on his way to saving someone elses life.
Squall turned to the door as it opened, smiling to Zell as he entered.
" I was hoping it was you."
" How are you feeling?"
" Reckless. Stupid. Fine." He smiled again and Zell sat down by the bed, taking Squalls hands.
" Listen, I've been thinking, and I might have been a little quick to judge. I don't know if you can forgive me what happened, but I'm willing to try, if you are. And we'll take it your pace, I won't rush you. Just take it slow and…
" Zell? Please, shut up and let me talk for a moment. I heard every word you said to me before, I recently remembered them. I can't believe that you remember that "incident" as we called it, on that mission. Hyne, I was so scared that you'd die. And a year later, you go and die on me. Sort of."
" I guess we're even now then. You also died on me there a while."
" I just want to tell you something. You could have ordered me to wake up, and I would. But you just had to go and say the words that would heal me so completely. I love you too, Zell. And I'll never stop. To the day I die, and even longer than that."
" You better, Squall Leonhart, or I'll kill you personally."
There was a few moments of silence when the words slowly etched themselves into their memories.
" Zell, I want you to have something."
" What?"
" Look in the top drawer."
Zell turned, pulling out the drawer, smiling when he saw the single item that habited it.
" Griever."
" Yes. I saved it, just in case you came to your senses. It means what it meant when I gave it to you the first time.
" Undying love?"
" Forever and always."
" Squall?"
" Yes?"
" Hyne, I love you!"
Four weeks later, Squall was released from the hospital. With only a fractured wrist he was good and ready to go home. Zell had picked up his things from where he'd been staying in Esthar and went back to Balamb with him and Seifer.
There was a lot of commotion when they arrived, their fearless leader injured and the long lost jack-ass finally returned. When everything calmed down, and life returned to normal, Squalls mind returned to Seifer. How was he now? The decision to go see him was made when he was eating his lunch.
" Seifer?"
Seifer looked up. He'd been sitting by the fountain outside of Gardens dormitories, eating a sandwich.
" Yes?"
" I… wanted to talk to you."
" About?"
" Well… us."
" Us?"
" Ex-us. I want to know how you're dealing with it."
" I'm fine. I'm glad to see you so happy."
" So am I. But…I've just been wondering… This gotta be very hard for you Seifer. And know it would be for me. So I'm asking again. How are you?"
" Truth to be told… awful. I really love you Squall. But it's just been a few weeks. These things take time. You yourself told me so. I'll be back to my usual obnoxious self in no time."
" You sure?"
" You wanna bet?"
" No. I trust you. But if there's anything you want to talk about. I'm here for you."
" Thanks."
As Squall left, Seifer sat staring after him for a while.
" I wish I could tell you everything that I feel, Lion. But it will only hurt you. You've been through enough. Time probably will heal my scars, and ease the pain. But I can't stay here for that to happen. I'll always love you. Near or far."
The next day, Seifer was missing. There was a note in his room, asking everyone not to worry, that he was fine and just needed to get away. Squall was devastated, thinking everything was his fault. Zell had similar thoughts, but knew Seifer well enough to know that the stubborn man would live on, somewhere else. Happy without the knowledge of him and Squall. And it was only fair. Squall would learn to see that.
And one day, when Squall was ready for it, Zell would tell him about the clue that Seifer had left on the TV. It was a picture, of all three of them together on the white beach in Dollet, taken only two weeks before. On it it was written; See you when the tides go high. Heaven is not out of reach."
Seifer was living in Dollet, and once every year, when the tides go high, the time of Zell and Squalls anniversary, he'd be sitting on the beach if they were interested in visiting.
Looking into the horizon, Zell smiled.
" When the tides go high, Seifer Almasy."
The end
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This story was completed at ten past twelve a school night, and has been re-written numerous times, but without any major changes. Hopefully you have enjoyed the story, and will continue to spy on me for updates! Somehow my stories doesn't get posted anymore, and I have no idea how you who reads this found it. You have better "luck" than me!
Thanx for reading!!
// Zierra