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I know this scene, Albus. It's the same scene that happened exactly one week and 4 days ago.

You can take away the memory, but not the fire.

I'm repeating myself here, but I've tried. In vain, I've tried to get myself out of her head. I've broken rules, I've done something that could probably put me back in Azkaban.

And if anyone discovers, you won't be able to protect me.

I can just imagine your look. Sad and disappointed. Smiling, but the usual glitter away from your eyes. Not saying a word, as your feelings and thoughts are as clear as the sky on a summer day.

It makes me sad thinking about it. But it's not that far yet. It's just... this scene.

Her precious body on my bed. She's sleeping peacefully. Not knowing. Not knowing this has happened before.

I swore myself this would never happen again, Albus, you know that that was the only reason I cast the spell. I didn't mean for this to happen...

She has awaken. She sits right up, and stretches her arms, her back. I watch her closely, but involuntarily my eyes linger on her breasts. Looking around, she sees me staring.

She blushes, and quickly covers her breasts. But this time, she doesn't look away. She observes me, just like I observe her.

"Good morning," she smiles full confidence.

"Morning," I mutter. I wonder if this is going to be the exact same conversation as the one we had one week and four days ago.

"How are you?" she asks, but she doesn't seem the slightest bit uncomfortable.

"Fine," comes my quick answer. I turn around in my chair, and point a bony finger into the direction of the door to my bathroom. "My bathroom is over there," I say calmly.

There's a silence. As I turn back, I see she's been watching me. She hasn't moved a single muscle.

"I know," she then speaks softly.

I narrow my eyes.

What does she mean, Albus? She can't know. It's impossible, you know that.

What is this? I want to scream, I want to grab my wand, torture her, simply because of those 2 words.

She can't know. Damn it, Albus, can she?!

I feel panic creeping up my spine, breaking through my skin and finally gently embracing my heart. What if she does know?

Obviously she has noticed my skin has gone even paler. She stares at me, or rather through me, giving me a sad smile. That's sick, Albus, how can she smile in a situation like this?

"You can't know," I say eventually.

I wait for her to say she was just joking, lying or trying to shock me, but none of these happen. Slowly she arises from the bed and approaches me, the blanket tightly wrapped around her. She brings her face closer to mine, until they're only a few inches apart from each other.

"I do," she whispers, and for a moment my heart stands still.

"But how…?"

She turns away, and gives a careless shrug. As she turns back, I see tears in her eyes. Immediately I get stabbed by guilt.

She remembers, Albus. What was it? Was it the smell of herbs from my robe? Were it the clothes she was missing? Was it the passion? But of course not. None of these are strong enough to break the charm…

"What's wrong?" I finally find myself able to ask. I don't know why I'm asking, as the answer is pretty obvious.

I look at her intensively. I wonder about all the questions that must be racing through her head, questions I can barely answer myself. Why? What for? Don't you love me? Only wanted the sex? Afraid it would come out? Were you going to do the exact same thing today again? How long did you plan to keep this thing going? Would you really do that? Would you, Severus?

No, no, of course not. You know it's not like that, Albus, you know I'm not that simple. I know you know, but how am I supposed to explain her?

But it's not necessary as she does not question me.

She does not yell.

No, she's still staring at me, tears in her eyes. It hurts to see her like this, and it hurts even more knowing I caused it.

I want her to talk, Albus, I can't stand this silence.

But then it stops. She gives me one last look before turning around and walking out of the room. I think about running after her. Wouldn't it be just wonderful to have us start all over again? Without nasty memories?

I see you face. Sad and disappointed. Making me see that erasing her memory is not going to solve anything, even if it works.

She's gone.

Realized what a fool I am.

Will you ever?