The Ties That Bind
by Siren
Hey guys! Anyway, I know that last part might have been a bit confusing, since Van said that nobody else from the Mystic Moon came to Gaea. You're gonna have to keep reading to find out. This ep. is gonna be reletively short, and is a songfic.This episode is definetly gonna have a lot of angst. So, get ready for some tears, some fights, and some very angry words. By the way, Sarah Mclaughclan's song 'Hold On' doesn't belong to me. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hollow
He...he said her name. I thought...I thought that I was the first to come here. That she never did. But, but he said her name is his sleep. He practically called out to her. I should have told him about her. I should have...I should have done something. I thought that he cared about me. He kissed me, held me, danced with me. But still, he calls for her. Does he love her? Feh. I didn't stay long enough to hear anything else. I bolted out of that room so fast, I might've broken a record. I'm in my room now, bawling my eyes out.
He should have told me that he knew her. He should have told me that he was taken. I never stood a chance with him, did I? It...it hurts so much. He lied to me. Did he kiss her like he kissed me? Does he think of her while kissing me? Does he...am I...what am I doing in this world? I don't fit in here, and I certainly don't fit in Van's heart. He made that pretty clear an hour ago. Even if he was dreaming, it doesn't matter. I wipe the last of my tears away, and bury my face in the pillow. Something clicked inside of me. Something...something's missing. I don't know what it is, but the hurt has stopped for now. I feel so..empty. So hollow. Closing my eyes, I let myself drift to some much needed sleep. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mmm...something warm...
My eyes snap open, and I realize that someone's arm are around my waist. I roll onto my back, and see Van slumbering beside me. He looks so peaceful...and it feels so right. I cuddle into his embrace, his chin on my head. Something happened last night. Something bad. I think back to the night before, searching my memories. 'Hitomi. He said her name last night...' Memories hitting me full force, I struggle to get out of his grasp. Van moans groggily beside me, but I continue to struggle. "Wha...what're you doing?" I finally get out of his grasp and practically jump out of the bed.
He blinks the sleep away, and sits up, frowning. "What's wrong?" I realize that I'm trembling, and try to force myself to stop. He reaches a hand out to me, and I step back. "Don't touch me," I hiss, and wrap my arms around myself. Van stands up from the bed, and takes a step towards me. I step back. "Stay away from me," I whisper harshly. Tears spring to my eyes, and fall without my permission. "What's wrong? What happened?" His hand brushes my arm and I flinch away. "Get away from me." He looks stung, but doesn't touch me again. "How can you ask me what's wrong? I heard you last night, and you lied to me."
He looks confused, and shakes his head. "What are you talking about?" I almost laugh, but the tears get in the way. "What do you think I'm talking about? Did you think that I wouldn't find out?" I'm on the verge of shouting, and try to remain calm. Van looks angry now, and frowns. "Find out about what? What the hell are you talking about?" Oooh, I wanna punch him at this point. "I know about her. How could you keep this from me? After all we went through..." Van grabs my shoulders, and I look away from him. "Who? Nicole, explain yourself to me, because right now, all I know is that you are confusing the hell out of me."
"I know about her. About Hitomi." Van looks like he wants to shake me and scream at me. "Who's Hitomi?" This time I do laugh, and he looks at me as though I'm insane. "How far are you going to take this, Van? Stop the lying, I know about you two. You cried out for her in your sleep last night." Van frowns, and shakes his head. "I don't know anyone named Hitomi." My knees shake, and I'm thankful that Van's holding me. The tears are flowing freely now, and Van looks at me in concern. "Van...I heard you. You called out for her. You wanted her. You, you wanted to be with her." Van stares at me, frowning deeply. "You told me that I was the first, and only person to come here from the Mystic Moon. How could you lie to me like that?"
"You are the only one to come here! Nicole, I don't know what you're talking about!" He shakes me, and I shove him away. "Stop lying to me! I heard you! And to think that I actually lo---" I stop myself from saying that word. Van stares at me, eyes wide. Those eyes that I once took comfort in. He takes a few deep breathes, trying to keep his composure. For once, I wish he would just lose it and say what he wants to. "I swear to you, I don't know who this 'Hitomi' is, and that I have never lied to you. I...I care about you. I would never do anything to hurt you." His eyes are so sincere, I almost believe him. Part of me wants to.
"If you don't know her...than why did you say her name in your sleep?" Van stares, unable to answer. My composure crumbles, and I nod. "From now on, I don't want you anywhere near me, Van Fanel." With that, I turn and leave. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I make my way out of the castle, ignoring the concerned looks people are giving me. Allen makes a move to approach me, but Millerna grabs his arm. I glance at the princess, thankful for her act. "Don't, Allen. Not now." Wrapping my arms around myself, I walk into the village. I brush past the people, ignoring their protests at my rudeness. I walk into the woods, feeling myself become more and more hollow with each step. When I stop walking, I realize that I've gone farther into the woods than I intended to. I'm lost, and for some reason, I don't seem to care. Sitting on the grass, I lean against a tree. "So empty," I mumble.
Hold on Hold on to yourself for this is gonna hurt like hell.
I go over everything that just happened in my mind. Closing my eyes, I try to push everything away. But thoughts and emotions cloud my mind, and I can't concentrate.
Hold on Hold on to yourself. You know that only time can tell
Dornkirk smiled with satisfaction. "It worked perfectly. The source has never been further from the dragon. Now Dilandau, now you may kill the dragon." Dilandau nodded, and walked away. "Folken, go to Asturia. We must get the sword of those born in Freid. Without that sword, we shall never obtain the power of Atlantis. Also, send a team of slayers to capture the source. With her weak and unprotected, she should be an easy capture."
what is it in me that refuses to believe this isn't easier than the real thing.
Van stared at the scenery around him. He was in Asturia's gardens. It was nothing compared to Fanalia's gardens, but it was still beautiful. "From now on, I don't want you anywhere near me, Van Fanel." Who is Hitomi? Did he really call out for her? He had never met anyone named Hitomi...and she looked so upset that morning. So hurt, so betrayed. Bowing his head, he sighed.
My love you know that you're my best friend. You know that I'd do anything for you and my love let nothing come between us my love for you is strong and true.
He didn't know why he called for a 'Hitomi', but he knew that he had to make amends. He had to get Nicole to understand that he didn't care about anyone named Hitomi. Running his hands through his hair, he could've sworn he almost growled in frustration. Women were so confusing.
Am I in heaven here or am I... At the crossroads I am standing.
Dilandau couldn't help but smile. The source practially hated Van now. Meaning she was free for the taking. He could just imagine them together...burning countries, looking at Van in disgust, and than..she would just claim her undying love for him and become a member of Zaibach. Yup, that would be great. His smile growing wider, he made his way to the melefs.
So now you're sleeping peaceful I lie awake and pray that you'll be strong tomorrow and will see another day and we will praise it and love the light that brings a smile across your face.
The foliage around here is pretty, I guess. I just hate feeling this way. I hate feeling so empty and, God help me, vulnerable. Not just physically, but emotionally, I'm vulnerable. Closing my eyes, I imagine Van running to me with ice cream and flowers, while the slayers throw Hitomi off a freakin' cliff or something. I can see him kneeling infront of me, gifts bared, his eyes all sad and puppy-like. Or, even better, I can imagine that he never even knew Hitomi. That everything was great, and that I didn't feel like this. Yup, that would be great. Too bad it will never be real. It's too late for apologies. It's just too late.
Oh god if you're out there won't you hear me. I know we've never talked before
"Van! Dilandau and his soldiers were spotted near the edge of Asturia!" Van snapped his head up, and whirled around to see Allen. 'Kuso! Nicole's out there!' "Alright, try to hold them off for as long as you can. Nicole's out there, and she's unarmed." Allen nodded, and they both ran for their melefs.
and oh god the man I love is leaving won't you take him when he comes to your door.
Dilandau could almost smell the source. "She's near, I can feel it!" Picking up the pace, he searched the landscape. "Only a little while longer..."
Am I in heaven here or am I in hell at the crossroads I am standing.
I feel the land tremble beneathe me, and frown. What's going on? I hear someone shout my name, and look up. It's Van, and Escaflowne's in dragon-mode. I look behind me, and see Dilandau and his slayers coming at me. Eyes wide, I stand up and back away. "Run!" I nod, and run as fast as my legs can carry me. I pant, my heart thundering in my chest. "Stupid dragon!" I can hear the metal crashing behind me as the battle rages. Van...he might be in trouble. And, knowing him, he might even get his ass killed. I stop and turn around. "VAN!" I shout. Dilandau's got him pinned, and I run at them. "DILANDAU, STOP IT!" The pyro looks at me, frowning. "I'm doing this for you!" he shouts. I see Van flinch, he's jealous.
"DILANDAU, PLEASE STOP!" I try to think of what to do, how to save Van. Seeing a cliff, (the one I imagined Hitomi being throw off of) I have an idea. "Dilandau, if you want me..." I back up towards the edge, and glance behind me. Yup, it's a looooonnnnnggggg way down. "...Come and get me." Dilandau looks at me suspiciously, and I have to smile. Closing my eyes, I lift my arms. Tilting backwards, I let myself fall. I can hear them screaming after me, the gravity pulling my body down.
So now you're sleeping peaceful I lie awake and pray that you'll be strong tomorrow and we will see another day and we will praise it and love the light that brings a smile across your face
I keep my eyes closed. I always was afraid of heights, and I want to leave this world with some dignity, so screaming is out of the question. I bet the ground's getting closer. I wonder if it'll hurt. To die, I mean. I wonder if my spine will be shattered and I won't be able to feel any pain. Some small part of me wonders if I'll survive. But I know I won't. This is a deadly height, 'dead' being the root word. I can feel myself picking up speed. It won't be long now, even though it feels as though it's been an eternity. This is definetly gonna hurt. I hope Van's okay. He better survive. "Goodbye...Van."
Hold on hold on to yourself for this is gonna hurt like hell
2 Be Continued
by Siren
Hey guys! Anyway, I know that last part might have been a bit confusing, since Van said that nobody else from the Mystic Moon came to Gaea. You're gonna have to keep reading to find out. This ep. is gonna be reletively short, and is a songfic.This episode is definetly gonna have a lot of angst. So, get ready for some tears, some fights, and some very angry words. By the way, Sarah Mclaughclan's song 'Hold On' doesn't belong to me. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hollow
He...he said her name. I thought...I thought that I was the first to come here. That she never did. But, but he said her name is his sleep. He practically called out to her. I should have told him about her. I should have...I should have done something. I thought that he cared about me. He kissed me, held me, danced with me. But still, he calls for her. Does he love her? Feh. I didn't stay long enough to hear anything else. I bolted out of that room so fast, I might've broken a record. I'm in my room now, bawling my eyes out.
He should have told me that he knew her. He should have told me that he was taken. I never stood a chance with him, did I? It...it hurts so much. He lied to me. Did he kiss her like he kissed me? Does he think of her while kissing me? Does he...am I...what am I doing in this world? I don't fit in here, and I certainly don't fit in Van's heart. He made that pretty clear an hour ago. Even if he was dreaming, it doesn't matter. I wipe the last of my tears away, and bury my face in the pillow. Something clicked inside of me. Something...something's missing. I don't know what it is, but the hurt has stopped for now. I feel so..empty. So hollow. Closing my eyes, I let myself drift to some much needed sleep. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mmm...something warm...
My eyes snap open, and I realize that someone's arm are around my waist. I roll onto my back, and see Van slumbering beside me. He looks so peaceful...and it feels so right. I cuddle into his embrace, his chin on my head. Something happened last night. Something bad. I think back to the night before, searching my memories. 'Hitomi. He said her name last night...' Memories hitting me full force, I struggle to get out of his grasp. Van moans groggily beside me, but I continue to struggle. "Wha...what're you doing?" I finally get out of his grasp and practically jump out of the bed.
He blinks the sleep away, and sits up, frowning. "What's wrong?" I realize that I'm trembling, and try to force myself to stop. He reaches a hand out to me, and I step back. "Don't touch me," I hiss, and wrap my arms around myself. Van stands up from the bed, and takes a step towards me. I step back. "Stay away from me," I whisper harshly. Tears spring to my eyes, and fall without my permission. "What's wrong? What happened?" His hand brushes my arm and I flinch away. "Get away from me." He looks stung, but doesn't touch me again. "How can you ask me what's wrong? I heard you last night, and you lied to me."
He looks confused, and shakes his head. "What are you talking about?" I almost laugh, but the tears get in the way. "What do you think I'm talking about? Did you think that I wouldn't find out?" I'm on the verge of shouting, and try to remain calm. Van looks angry now, and frowns. "Find out about what? What the hell are you talking about?" Oooh, I wanna punch him at this point. "I know about her. How could you keep this from me? After all we went through..." Van grabs my shoulders, and I look away from him. "Who? Nicole, explain yourself to me, because right now, all I know is that you are confusing the hell out of me."
"I know about her. About Hitomi." Van looks like he wants to shake me and scream at me. "Who's Hitomi?" This time I do laugh, and he looks at me as though I'm insane. "How far are you going to take this, Van? Stop the lying, I know about you two. You cried out for her in your sleep last night." Van frowns, and shakes his head. "I don't know anyone named Hitomi." My knees shake, and I'm thankful that Van's holding me. The tears are flowing freely now, and Van looks at me in concern. "Van...I heard you. You called out for her. You wanted her. You, you wanted to be with her." Van stares at me, frowning deeply. "You told me that I was the first, and only person to come here from the Mystic Moon. How could you lie to me like that?"
"You are the only one to come here! Nicole, I don't know what you're talking about!" He shakes me, and I shove him away. "Stop lying to me! I heard you! And to think that I actually lo---" I stop myself from saying that word. Van stares at me, eyes wide. Those eyes that I once took comfort in. He takes a few deep breathes, trying to keep his composure. For once, I wish he would just lose it and say what he wants to. "I swear to you, I don't know who this 'Hitomi' is, and that I have never lied to you. I...I care about you. I would never do anything to hurt you." His eyes are so sincere, I almost believe him. Part of me wants to.
"If you don't know her...than why did you say her name in your sleep?" Van stares, unable to answer. My composure crumbles, and I nod. "From now on, I don't want you anywhere near me, Van Fanel." With that, I turn and leave. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I make my way out of the castle, ignoring the concerned looks people are giving me. Allen makes a move to approach me, but Millerna grabs his arm. I glance at the princess, thankful for her act. "Don't, Allen. Not now." Wrapping my arms around myself, I walk into the village. I brush past the people, ignoring their protests at my rudeness. I walk into the woods, feeling myself become more and more hollow with each step. When I stop walking, I realize that I've gone farther into the woods than I intended to. I'm lost, and for some reason, I don't seem to care. Sitting on the grass, I lean against a tree. "So empty," I mumble.
Hold on Hold on to yourself for this is gonna hurt like hell.
I go over everything that just happened in my mind. Closing my eyes, I try to push everything away. But thoughts and emotions cloud my mind, and I can't concentrate.
Hold on Hold on to yourself. You know that only time can tell
Dornkirk smiled with satisfaction. "It worked perfectly. The source has never been further from the dragon. Now Dilandau, now you may kill the dragon." Dilandau nodded, and walked away. "Folken, go to Asturia. We must get the sword of those born in Freid. Without that sword, we shall never obtain the power of Atlantis. Also, send a team of slayers to capture the source. With her weak and unprotected, she should be an easy capture."
what is it in me that refuses to believe this isn't easier than the real thing.
Van stared at the scenery around him. He was in Asturia's gardens. It was nothing compared to Fanalia's gardens, but it was still beautiful. "From now on, I don't want you anywhere near me, Van Fanel." Who is Hitomi? Did he really call out for her? He had never met anyone named Hitomi...and she looked so upset that morning. So hurt, so betrayed. Bowing his head, he sighed.
My love you know that you're my best friend. You know that I'd do anything for you and my love let nothing come between us my love for you is strong and true.
He didn't know why he called for a 'Hitomi', but he knew that he had to make amends. He had to get Nicole to understand that he didn't care about anyone named Hitomi. Running his hands through his hair, he could've sworn he almost growled in frustration. Women were so confusing.
Am I in heaven here or am I... At the crossroads I am standing.
Dilandau couldn't help but smile. The source practially hated Van now. Meaning she was free for the taking. He could just imagine them together...burning countries, looking at Van in disgust, and than..she would just claim her undying love for him and become a member of Zaibach. Yup, that would be great. His smile growing wider, he made his way to the melefs.
So now you're sleeping peaceful I lie awake and pray that you'll be strong tomorrow and will see another day and we will praise it and love the light that brings a smile across your face.
The foliage around here is pretty, I guess. I just hate feeling this way. I hate feeling so empty and, God help me, vulnerable. Not just physically, but emotionally, I'm vulnerable. Closing my eyes, I imagine Van running to me with ice cream and flowers, while the slayers throw Hitomi off a freakin' cliff or something. I can see him kneeling infront of me, gifts bared, his eyes all sad and puppy-like. Or, even better, I can imagine that he never even knew Hitomi. That everything was great, and that I didn't feel like this. Yup, that would be great. Too bad it will never be real. It's too late for apologies. It's just too late.
Oh god if you're out there won't you hear me. I know we've never talked before
"Van! Dilandau and his soldiers were spotted near the edge of Asturia!" Van snapped his head up, and whirled around to see Allen. 'Kuso! Nicole's out there!' "Alright, try to hold them off for as long as you can. Nicole's out there, and she's unarmed." Allen nodded, and they both ran for their melefs.
and oh god the man I love is leaving won't you take him when he comes to your door.
Dilandau could almost smell the source. "She's near, I can feel it!" Picking up the pace, he searched the landscape. "Only a little while longer..."
Am I in heaven here or am I in hell at the crossroads I am standing.
I feel the land tremble beneathe me, and frown. What's going on? I hear someone shout my name, and look up. It's Van, and Escaflowne's in dragon-mode. I look behind me, and see Dilandau and his slayers coming at me. Eyes wide, I stand up and back away. "Run!" I nod, and run as fast as my legs can carry me. I pant, my heart thundering in my chest. "Stupid dragon!" I can hear the metal crashing behind me as the battle rages. Van...he might be in trouble. And, knowing him, he might even get his ass killed. I stop and turn around. "VAN!" I shout. Dilandau's got him pinned, and I run at them. "DILANDAU, STOP IT!" The pyro looks at me, frowning. "I'm doing this for you!" he shouts. I see Van flinch, he's jealous.
"DILANDAU, PLEASE STOP!" I try to think of what to do, how to save Van. Seeing a cliff, (the one I imagined Hitomi being throw off of) I have an idea. "Dilandau, if you want me..." I back up towards the edge, and glance behind me. Yup, it's a looooonnnnnggggg way down. "...Come and get me." Dilandau looks at me suspiciously, and I have to smile. Closing my eyes, I lift my arms. Tilting backwards, I let myself fall. I can hear them screaming after me, the gravity pulling my body down.
So now you're sleeping peaceful I lie awake and pray that you'll be strong tomorrow and we will see another day and we will praise it and love the light that brings a smile across your face
I keep my eyes closed. I always was afraid of heights, and I want to leave this world with some dignity, so screaming is out of the question. I bet the ground's getting closer. I wonder if it'll hurt. To die, I mean. I wonder if my spine will be shattered and I won't be able to feel any pain. Some small part of me wonders if I'll survive. But I know I won't. This is a deadly height, 'dead' being the root word. I can feel myself picking up speed. It won't be long now, even though it feels as though it's been an eternity. This is definetly gonna hurt. I hope Van's okay. He better survive. "Goodbye...Van."
Hold on hold on to yourself for this is gonna hurt like hell
2 Be Continued