The Ties That Bind
By Siren
All right, so the series has taken a darker turn, and will stay that way for a few chapters. In the next chapter, I'll be singing. Yes, singing. Actually, I'm kinda good at it. Heh heh. Anyway, there will be more Nikki/Van moments ahead, as well as Allen/Millerna and Merle/Blake. Dilandau, now furious about my rejecting him, turns to Dornkirk. Also, Van speaks with Folken again. And I don't own Sister2Sister's 'How Can you Doubt Me?' ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rescue Me
Oh God, my head...it hurts. I open my eyes to see darkness surrounding me. Where am I? But more importantly, was yesterday all just a dream? Everything is so dark and cold. Groaning, I lift a hand to my face and immediately wince. I can tell from the pain that there's a bruise on my cheek. I must've gotten it when Dilandau slapped me. Oh God, if that happened, than that means that yesterday was real. I really slaughtered all of those soldiers. Oh God.
Grasping my stomach, I feel as though I'm going to vomit. Tears burn in my eyes as I sit up. I was nothing but pure evil in that battle. And Van...I attacked him. I was so angry and full of hatred. Thinking about the battle only makes my stomach feel worse. I crawl on the floor, searching for a source of light. Why doesn't Dilandau even keep a torch in his room?
I hear a door open and turn around to see Dilandau. Light enters, and I can see that my black tresses are gone. I'm back to having short red hair. Well, that's an improvement. "Awake, huh?" he sneers. I open my mouth to retort, but my head fills with pain, silencing me. "Hmph. Those scientists said you would experience some headaches after you regain your memories. So, happy to be that pathetic love-sick girl again?" My eyes narrowed, I stand up. "I've never been happier," I say and lift my chin in defiance.
He frowns and slams the door behind him. He flicks some sort of switch, and lights turn on around us. I wince at the sudden brightness, and allow my eyes to adjust. "You were so beautiful as Terra. She was like pure energy. Bright, seductive, dangerous. I really miss her." I lean against the wall, still too weak to support myself. "Yeah? Well she's never coming back, thank God. I don't know if I could stand another minute in your arms," I say in disgust. Ugh. He actually kissed me.
I let out a cry of pain as I feel his fist hit my cheek. I fall to the ground, and taste blood in my mouth. I spit it out, and sit up, feeling the coppery substance drip down my chin. "How dare you mock her! Terra was perfect! She was everything I wanted and more, you bitch!" I feel anger seep into my bones, something to watch out for in me. Once I'm pissed, there's no stopping me. (My friends know this.) I stand up and wipe the blood away. "Even Terra couldn't love you. Not completely. She knew deep down that her heart belonged to Van. She suspected that you did something to her, you sick bastard."
I see Dilandau flinch and turn around as if to leave. But I'm not done yet. I grab his arm and force him to look at me. "Don't you dare leave this room. I'm not finished with you yet, Dilandau." He tries to pull his arm free, but I've got an iron grip. "Look at me. I was your friend, Dilandau. I cared about you, I wanted to help you. And then you changed me. You hurt me, sent me away so that you could be with an imaginary girl. How could you do this to me?"
Dilandau finally yanks his arm away. "I wouldn't have done it if you just loved me!" My eyes widen, and I stare at him. Love? He tortured me out of love? Does he realize that I'm not a sadist? "Love? You put me through hell and back for love?" He avoids my gaze, but nods. "I've never met anyone like you. The first time you laid eyes on me, you treated me with kindness. If you'd only loved me, I never would've done that to you."
Tears burn my eyes and I slap him. "How dare you. Loving someone means loving someone for who they are. And you weren't satisfied with who I was, so you molded me to your liking. You didn't love me, and I could never love you. You hurt me so much; there are no words for how I feel. You turned me against Van, made me attack him. I've never felt so betrayed. I've never felt so disgusted with myself. And I feel this way all thanks to you, you selfish son of a bitch."
Dilandau stares at me in shock, and backs away. I step towards him. "I want you to let me go. I can't stay here another minute," I say. Dilandau shakes his head. "I can't do that. Not just because I want you to stay, but because if I let you go, Folken would kill me." I growl and grab him by the throat. "I could kill you right now. When I was Terra, I killed people. Both from Zaibach and Asturia. You made me into a killer, Dilandau. Tell me why I shouldn't kill you," I say darkly.
"B-because Terra was a killer, not you," he croaks. I frown. "I don't see the difference. I am Terra, aren't I? It was by my hands that those people died." His lips are starting to turn blue, and he struggles. "N-no, you're different. T-Terra was a woman that I designed out of my own desires. Y-you're the complete opposite. Your soul is pure, not tainted like her's." Tears brimming in my eyes, I drop him. I back away from him, tears escaping my eyes. "Even so, Terra no longer exists, and I harbor the guilt and blame. Whether or not it was my fault, it doesn't matter." I strike him, and watch him drop to the ground.
"No matter whether I'm me or Terra, her darkness is still with me." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Twenty of our men are dead, thanks to the attack from Zaibach," Allen announced. He sighed and sat down heavily. "Twenty of our best soldiers, dead. With their stealth-cloaks, we'll lose more than that." Van looked out a window, his eyes blank. 'Twenty men dead, and she helped to kill them.' "We need a way to see their stealth cloaks, Van. If we don't have some sort of way, then we're all doomed."
"I can help."
Van stiffened and turned around. Nicole stood in the doorway, her now red hair a mess, and a bruise forming on her cheek. She stepped inside the room, avoiding everyone's gaze. 'She's back. She's herself again. But...she's ashamed. Too ashamed to look at anyone. Too ashamed to look at me.' "Nikki-chan!" Merle leapt into the redhead's arms, and hugged her tightly. "Thank goodness you're back! Van-sama's been miserable without you!" She looked up at the young king, only to see him blushing slightly.
"Nicole, how are you? Are you hurt? What happened?" She put the cat girl down, and looked at Allen with empty eyes. "I'm fine, I'm not hurt, and about what happened...it's a long story. Well, not an epic story, but still..." "Tell us." Van's voice was firm and slightly angry. But he wasn't angry at Zaibach, he was angry at her. Tears glistening in her eyes, she spoke.
"After Van left to get help, Dilandau came. He wanted me to be his queen, and to help Zaibach. I refused, and then I blacked out. When I woke up, I was inside some sort of room...then I was at the battle. I don't know what happened, but I blacked out again. When I woke up the third time, I was in Dilandau's room," she stopped when she saw Van's eyes flashed with anger.
"I escaped, and came here. I don't know what happened to me exactly, or what I did. I just know that it wasn't good." She looked away after finishing. A few tears escaped, but she wiped them away quickly. "Nikki- chan..." Merle looked at her friend in sympathy. She could sense the tension between her and Van, but didn't say anything. Finally, Allen broke the silence. "I'm sorry to hear that. It must've been terrible. I'm sorry to leave so quickly, but I must report this to the king. Maybe this will convince him of Zaibach's treason. But I'm glad to have you back safe and sound."
Merle soon took after the knight, leaving Nicole and Van alone. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I can tell that Van's angry, and I can understand why. I feel myself begin to tremble, wishing so badly for Van to hold me. To tell me that everything will be okay. But he doesn't. He just stares out the window blankly. I don't even know if he's here with me right now. "What did you and Dilandau do? Other than attack me and kill twenty soldiers anyway." I cringe at the coldness in his voice.
"I don't know. I wasn't, it was like I didn't exits. Terra took over. I don't remember anything," I answer. Van tenses, but doesn't turn around. "Did you sleep with him?" My eyes widen at the question. "I don't remember what I did when I was Terra." Can't Van see that? I don't know, I don't remember anything. He turns around, his eyes full of hurt and betrayal. "So you might have slept with him?" His voice is full of accusation.
"I already told you that I don't know. Why are you doing this to me?" I ask, my voice cracking. Van looks at me in disgust, and I suddenly feel sick inside. "You probably did. I mean, that's what Terra would've done, right?" My eyes narrow in anger. "Yes, Terra would've done that, not me. Van, I never would've done that. Not to you, not ever." Van frowns deeply. "But Terra would have. You might have slept with the man that destroyed my country," he says, his voice thick with anger.
"Van, this is me you're talking to! I don't know what Terra did! But I never would have done that to you. Why are you punishing me for something I never did?" Van looks as though he's ready to explode. "How could you forget about me so easily?! When you were Terra, you had no memory of me at all! Did you even try to remember me? Did you even care that you were Terra? Were you really Terra, or is this all some excuse?"
I wince, stung. "How can you say these things to me? I fought so hard to hold on to your memory. I fought Terra, and I won. How can you think that Terra was just some sort of excuse? I care about you so much, and when I need you the most, you stab me in the back. When I needed you the most, you weren't there. When they were changing me, all I could think was, 'Van will come. He'll save me'. But you didn't even try! And now you throw everything Terra did at me. How dare you."
Van looks away, too stubborn and angry to say anything. Letting out a sob I turn and walk away. He always does this. He always hurts me in the end. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I know you've been hurt before
And everything you do shows me that you're insecure
Just listen to your heart whispering my name
'Cause all we really have in this world
Nicole sat on the balcony, silently crying. Merle watched her friend cry in pain, and wrapped her in a gently hug, lending her a shoulder to cry on. "Van-sama's just upset. He didn't mean it. He was so worried about you when you were gone." Nikki only hugged Merle tighter. "But everything he said...it just hurts so much."
Is our trust and faith
How could you doubt me?
How could you ever think that I don't care about you?
Boy if you only knew what I feel for you...
Van sat in his room, too stubborn to talk to her. "Van." He turned to see Allen looking at him, anger glinting in his eyes. "What did you say to her?" Van shrugged. "Why does it concern you?" The knight struck him, sending him sprawling. "It concerns me because she is a friend of mine in pain, you stupid git. Now what did you say to her?"
You would never doubt me
Some things...only time will tell
But baby there is one thing you should know so well
Nikki wrapped her arms around herself, still crying silently. She had told Merle that she was fine, and to find Blake. Van...he doubted her. He was so cold and cruel...she couldn't understand why she loved that king so much. The one person she needed turned on her. Burying her face in her hands, she cried.
When you need to see the truth, don't you realize?
That all you have to do is look into my eyes
How could you doubt me?
Van stood up, and shrugged. "All I did was ask her some questions, that's all." Allen frowned. "Don't lie to me. King or not, if you hurt her, I'll kill you." Van shook his head. "See if I care." Allen growled. "What happened to her was not her fault. You were so worried about her, and when she comes back, you spit in her face. She needs you, and you snap at her. You don't deserve her, you bastard." Van cringed, knowing it was true.
How could you ever think that I don't care about you?
Boy if you only knew what I feel for you
You wouldn't have to ask me if I really love you
When there's not a minute of the day
I don't think of you
Memories of the battle flashed through her mind. Sifting through them, she tried to recall if she did infact, sleep with the pyro. She found no memories of it, suddenly relieved and very sad. She hadn't slept with Dilandau, but she doubted Van would give a damn. She hated Gaea now. It brought her nothing but sorrow and pain. "I hate this world," she muttered.
If you could only see what you mean to me
You would never doubt me
Maybe boy, as time goes by
You'll come to finally trust
That I ain't going nowhere, I'll be there
"If you don't fix what you've done, than so help me, I'll kill you and give her your carcass as a present. Though seeing how much she cares for you, I doubt it'd bring her any comfort." Grabbing Van by the scruff of the neck, he shoved him out the door. "Don't come back until you've fixed this," Allen said and slammed the door in the king's face.
How could you doubt me?
If you only knew...
How could you doubt me?
How could you ever think that I could live without you?
On his way to Nicole's room, Van saw Merle walking out of it. Her face was filled with pain for her friend. "Merle? What're you doing here?" The cat girl hissed at the king for the first time. "I was trying to comfort her. I've never seen a human in so much pain, and knowing you're the cause of it only makes it worse. Thank goodness your parents aren't here. They'd be ashamed of you, Van-sama." The king stared at her in shock. She'd never talked to him like that before. Merle pointed to Nicole's room. "Now you go in there and apologize, though I don't see why she should forgive you."
Boy if you only knew what I feel for you
You would never doubt me baby
There's not a minute of the day
I don't think of you
He opened the door, only to find her curled up on her bed, sleeping. Her face was streaked with tears, proving that she'd been crying for hours. He sat down next to her, and wiped the tears away. "Nicole?" She stirred from her sleep, but didn't open her eyes. "I'm so sorry. I was just so upset, and I...the thought of Dilandau touching you...I'm just so sorry." He laid down next to her, and held her. "I don't expect you to forgive me, but I just want you to know that I'm sorry."
I can hear Van's apology, and I want to accept it but.I can't feel anything but anger and hurt. I feel him get up from the bed to leave, but I don't want him to. Not without knowing how I feel. "Do you know why I came to this world?" Van stops and turns around. I open my eyes to see him looking at me, his face a mixture of pain and sorrow. "I came here to make things better. I thought if one person could fix things, it would be me. And than I was brought here, and it was like all of my dreams came true.
But than this world began to show its true face. I saw the pain, the sorrow and the anguish. And I began to hate this world. I thought that you and Merle were the only good things in this world, but I was wrong. I was put through hell and back and when I needed you the most.you weren't there. You never were. And I hate you for it. When this war is over, I'm going home and I'm never coming back. I'm going to forget this world and everyone in it. I wish I'd never come here."
Van frowns. "You're right, I wasn't there for you. And I don't expect you to forgive me, but still.how can you hate me?" I sit up and turn to him, my eyes empty and devoid of emotion. "I could ask you the same thing. I regained my memories, Van Fanel. And I didn't sleep with him. I never would have, because my heart was clouded with feelings for you. But now my heart is clear, and I see you for who you really are. You're insecure, untrusting, and hateful. Tell me why I shouldn't hate you."
I wait patiently for his answer, watching the conflict in his eyes. "Tell me why I shouldn't hate you, Van Fanel," I press. He mumbles something, and I lean closer. "What did you say?" Van mumbles it again and I grab his face and lift it so that his eyes lock with mine. "What did you say?" I ask more firmly. I can feel Van trembling in my hands and frown. I try to fight it, but my concern for him grows. "I said." he trails off. I scoot closer to him on the bed, knowing that what he wants to say is important. "What did you say?"
His eyes meet mine, and I'm shocked to see them glazed with tears. "I love you," he confesses. I gasp, my eyes widening. It can't be true. The things he said to me.he must be lying. "I love you so much that it hurts. The thought of Dilandau touching you or hurting you.it made me so angry. I was so worried when you were gone. I didn't sleep because I was afraid that you would come to my door needing my help. I'm sorry that I said those things to you, I was just so angry," he admits.
I search his eyes and find that everything he said is true. Tears fill my eyes once more and I pull him into a hug. "I feel the same way," I say softly. I feel something wet touch my shoulders, and realize that Van is crying. I pull away slightly, and bring his lips to mine. The feeling of sorrow and happiness is overwhelming. We're just two kids stuck in the middle of a war with no one but each other. The kiss becomes more intense as we both feel need take over us. We're both frightened by the aspect of what the outcome of the war might be. We're both terrified of losing each other.
I wrap my arms around his neck and bring him closer, not wanting to lose any contact with him. I almost lost him once, and I don't want to lose him again. Thunder clashes outside as Van breaks the kiss. "What are we doing?" he asks, his voice husky. I shake my head. "We're doing what our hearts want us to," I say, and crash my lips against his.
Here's my point of view
We see life so differently
Nobody sees it quite the same
We try to live as one.
"I hope Nikki-chan is okay," Merle whimpered in Blake's arms. His kissed the top of her head and nuzzled her hair. "I think they are." Merle looked up at him curiously. "How do you know?" Blake smiled. "I just do," he said, and kissed her lightly. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Millerna sighed. She hadn't seen Allen all day, and it was beginning to bother her. Didn't he find her attractive? Didn't he like her at all? She moved to the window and watched as the storm raged. Just as she was about to release another sigh, she heard her door open. She turned to see Allen standing in the doorway, his face serious.
"Allen-san?" He walked up to her, his hand cupping her face. "Millerna, Nicole told me of your feelings for me a while ago. But I have yet to tell you of mine." Millerna's face fell a bit. "I don't expect you to. I know you still love my sister and." she was cut short by Allen's lips on her's, silencing her. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Dilandau, you should get some rest."
The young pyro only growled in response. He had lost her twice. First Terra, now Nicole. He had lost everything he held dear, and now she hated him. "Folken, why must we feel love?" Folken smiled slightly. "Love is the emotion that controls us all, Dilandau. To not feel love.is to be a monster. We are human, and therefore must abide love." Dilandau growled. "Than I shall not be human, for I shall not be controlled by love."
With that, the young albino turned and walked away to see the sorcerers. Folken sighed as he watched him leave. "To not feel love is to be dead, just as I am," he said with a hint of regret. "Van.does love control you too?" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Meanwhile..
I pulled Van down for another kiss, seeing love reflect in his eyes. "I love you," he says again, and I smile.
It's true it's the little things
Where we go 'round and 'round
So what if we do?
We'll always be together.
By Siren
All right, so the series has taken a darker turn, and will stay that way for a few chapters. In the next chapter, I'll be singing. Yes, singing. Actually, I'm kinda good at it. Heh heh. Anyway, there will be more Nikki/Van moments ahead, as well as Allen/Millerna and Merle/Blake. Dilandau, now furious about my rejecting him, turns to Dornkirk. Also, Van speaks with Folken again. And I don't own Sister2Sister's 'How Can you Doubt Me?' ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rescue Me
Oh God, my head...it hurts. I open my eyes to see darkness surrounding me. Where am I? But more importantly, was yesterday all just a dream? Everything is so dark and cold. Groaning, I lift a hand to my face and immediately wince. I can tell from the pain that there's a bruise on my cheek. I must've gotten it when Dilandau slapped me. Oh God, if that happened, than that means that yesterday was real. I really slaughtered all of those soldiers. Oh God.
Grasping my stomach, I feel as though I'm going to vomit. Tears burn in my eyes as I sit up. I was nothing but pure evil in that battle. And Van...I attacked him. I was so angry and full of hatred. Thinking about the battle only makes my stomach feel worse. I crawl on the floor, searching for a source of light. Why doesn't Dilandau even keep a torch in his room?
I hear a door open and turn around to see Dilandau. Light enters, and I can see that my black tresses are gone. I'm back to having short red hair. Well, that's an improvement. "Awake, huh?" he sneers. I open my mouth to retort, but my head fills with pain, silencing me. "Hmph. Those scientists said you would experience some headaches after you regain your memories. So, happy to be that pathetic love-sick girl again?" My eyes narrowed, I stand up. "I've never been happier," I say and lift my chin in defiance.
He frowns and slams the door behind him. He flicks some sort of switch, and lights turn on around us. I wince at the sudden brightness, and allow my eyes to adjust. "You were so beautiful as Terra. She was like pure energy. Bright, seductive, dangerous. I really miss her." I lean against the wall, still too weak to support myself. "Yeah? Well she's never coming back, thank God. I don't know if I could stand another minute in your arms," I say in disgust. Ugh. He actually kissed me.
I let out a cry of pain as I feel his fist hit my cheek. I fall to the ground, and taste blood in my mouth. I spit it out, and sit up, feeling the coppery substance drip down my chin. "How dare you mock her! Terra was perfect! She was everything I wanted and more, you bitch!" I feel anger seep into my bones, something to watch out for in me. Once I'm pissed, there's no stopping me. (My friends know this.) I stand up and wipe the blood away. "Even Terra couldn't love you. Not completely. She knew deep down that her heart belonged to Van. She suspected that you did something to her, you sick bastard."
I see Dilandau flinch and turn around as if to leave. But I'm not done yet. I grab his arm and force him to look at me. "Don't you dare leave this room. I'm not finished with you yet, Dilandau." He tries to pull his arm free, but I've got an iron grip. "Look at me. I was your friend, Dilandau. I cared about you, I wanted to help you. And then you changed me. You hurt me, sent me away so that you could be with an imaginary girl. How could you do this to me?"
Dilandau finally yanks his arm away. "I wouldn't have done it if you just loved me!" My eyes widen, and I stare at him. Love? He tortured me out of love? Does he realize that I'm not a sadist? "Love? You put me through hell and back for love?" He avoids my gaze, but nods. "I've never met anyone like you. The first time you laid eyes on me, you treated me with kindness. If you'd only loved me, I never would've done that to you."
Tears burn my eyes and I slap him. "How dare you. Loving someone means loving someone for who they are. And you weren't satisfied with who I was, so you molded me to your liking. You didn't love me, and I could never love you. You hurt me so much; there are no words for how I feel. You turned me against Van, made me attack him. I've never felt so betrayed. I've never felt so disgusted with myself. And I feel this way all thanks to you, you selfish son of a bitch."
Dilandau stares at me in shock, and backs away. I step towards him. "I want you to let me go. I can't stay here another minute," I say. Dilandau shakes his head. "I can't do that. Not just because I want you to stay, but because if I let you go, Folken would kill me." I growl and grab him by the throat. "I could kill you right now. When I was Terra, I killed people. Both from Zaibach and Asturia. You made me into a killer, Dilandau. Tell me why I shouldn't kill you," I say darkly.
"B-because Terra was a killer, not you," he croaks. I frown. "I don't see the difference. I am Terra, aren't I? It was by my hands that those people died." His lips are starting to turn blue, and he struggles. "N-no, you're different. T-Terra was a woman that I designed out of my own desires. Y-you're the complete opposite. Your soul is pure, not tainted like her's." Tears brimming in my eyes, I drop him. I back away from him, tears escaping my eyes. "Even so, Terra no longer exists, and I harbor the guilt and blame. Whether or not it was my fault, it doesn't matter." I strike him, and watch him drop to the ground.
"No matter whether I'm me or Terra, her darkness is still with me." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Twenty of our men are dead, thanks to the attack from Zaibach," Allen announced. He sighed and sat down heavily. "Twenty of our best soldiers, dead. With their stealth-cloaks, we'll lose more than that." Van looked out a window, his eyes blank. 'Twenty men dead, and she helped to kill them.' "We need a way to see their stealth cloaks, Van. If we don't have some sort of way, then we're all doomed."
"I can help."
Van stiffened and turned around. Nicole stood in the doorway, her now red hair a mess, and a bruise forming on her cheek. She stepped inside the room, avoiding everyone's gaze. 'She's back. She's herself again. But...she's ashamed. Too ashamed to look at anyone. Too ashamed to look at me.' "Nikki-chan!" Merle leapt into the redhead's arms, and hugged her tightly. "Thank goodness you're back! Van-sama's been miserable without you!" She looked up at the young king, only to see him blushing slightly.
"Nicole, how are you? Are you hurt? What happened?" She put the cat girl down, and looked at Allen with empty eyes. "I'm fine, I'm not hurt, and about what happened...it's a long story. Well, not an epic story, but still..." "Tell us." Van's voice was firm and slightly angry. But he wasn't angry at Zaibach, he was angry at her. Tears glistening in her eyes, she spoke.
"After Van left to get help, Dilandau came. He wanted me to be his queen, and to help Zaibach. I refused, and then I blacked out. When I woke up, I was inside some sort of room...then I was at the battle. I don't know what happened, but I blacked out again. When I woke up the third time, I was in Dilandau's room," she stopped when she saw Van's eyes flashed with anger.
"I escaped, and came here. I don't know what happened to me exactly, or what I did. I just know that it wasn't good." She looked away after finishing. A few tears escaped, but she wiped them away quickly. "Nikki- chan..." Merle looked at her friend in sympathy. She could sense the tension between her and Van, but didn't say anything. Finally, Allen broke the silence. "I'm sorry to hear that. It must've been terrible. I'm sorry to leave so quickly, but I must report this to the king. Maybe this will convince him of Zaibach's treason. But I'm glad to have you back safe and sound."
Merle soon took after the knight, leaving Nicole and Van alone. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I can tell that Van's angry, and I can understand why. I feel myself begin to tremble, wishing so badly for Van to hold me. To tell me that everything will be okay. But he doesn't. He just stares out the window blankly. I don't even know if he's here with me right now. "What did you and Dilandau do? Other than attack me and kill twenty soldiers anyway." I cringe at the coldness in his voice.
"I don't know. I wasn't, it was like I didn't exits. Terra took over. I don't remember anything," I answer. Van tenses, but doesn't turn around. "Did you sleep with him?" My eyes widen at the question. "I don't remember what I did when I was Terra." Can't Van see that? I don't know, I don't remember anything. He turns around, his eyes full of hurt and betrayal. "So you might have slept with him?" His voice is full of accusation.
"I already told you that I don't know. Why are you doing this to me?" I ask, my voice cracking. Van looks at me in disgust, and I suddenly feel sick inside. "You probably did. I mean, that's what Terra would've done, right?" My eyes narrow in anger. "Yes, Terra would've done that, not me. Van, I never would've done that. Not to you, not ever." Van frowns deeply. "But Terra would have. You might have slept with the man that destroyed my country," he says, his voice thick with anger.
"Van, this is me you're talking to! I don't know what Terra did! But I never would have done that to you. Why are you punishing me for something I never did?" Van looks as though he's ready to explode. "How could you forget about me so easily?! When you were Terra, you had no memory of me at all! Did you even try to remember me? Did you even care that you were Terra? Were you really Terra, or is this all some excuse?"
I wince, stung. "How can you say these things to me? I fought so hard to hold on to your memory. I fought Terra, and I won. How can you think that Terra was just some sort of excuse? I care about you so much, and when I need you the most, you stab me in the back. When I needed you the most, you weren't there. When they were changing me, all I could think was, 'Van will come. He'll save me'. But you didn't even try! And now you throw everything Terra did at me. How dare you."
Van looks away, too stubborn and angry to say anything. Letting out a sob I turn and walk away. He always does this. He always hurts me in the end. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I know you've been hurt before
And everything you do shows me that you're insecure
Just listen to your heart whispering my name
'Cause all we really have in this world
Nicole sat on the balcony, silently crying. Merle watched her friend cry in pain, and wrapped her in a gently hug, lending her a shoulder to cry on. "Van-sama's just upset. He didn't mean it. He was so worried about you when you were gone." Nikki only hugged Merle tighter. "But everything he said...it just hurts so much."
Is our trust and faith
How could you doubt me?
How could you ever think that I don't care about you?
Boy if you only knew what I feel for you...
Van sat in his room, too stubborn to talk to her. "Van." He turned to see Allen looking at him, anger glinting in his eyes. "What did you say to her?" Van shrugged. "Why does it concern you?" The knight struck him, sending him sprawling. "It concerns me because she is a friend of mine in pain, you stupid git. Now what did you say to her?"
You would never doubt me
Some things...only time will tell
But baby there is one thing you should know so well
Nikki wrapped her arms around herself, still crying silently. She had told Merle that she was fine, and to find Blake. Van...he doubted her. He was so cold and cruel...she couldn't understand why she loved that king so much. The one person she needed turned on her. Burying her face in her hands, she cried.
When you need to see the truth, don't you realize?
That all you have to do is look into my eyes
How could you doubt me?
Van stood up, and shrugged. "All I did was ask her some questions, that's all." Allen frowned. "Don't lie to me. King or not, if you hurt her, I'll kill you." Van shook his head. "See if I care." Allen growled. "What happened to her was not her fault. You were so worried about her, and when she comes back, you spit in her face. She needs you, and you snap at her. You don't deserve her, you bastard." Van cringed, knowing it was true.
How could you ever think that I don't care about you?
Boy if you only knew what I feel for you
You wouldn't have to ask me if I really love you
When there's not a minute of the day
I don't think of you
Memories of the battle flashed through her mind. Sifting through them, she tried to recall if she did infact, sleep with the pyro. She found no memories of it, suddenly relieved and very sad. She hadn't slept with Dilandau, but she doubted Van would give a damn. She hated Gaea now. It brought her nothing but sorrow and pain. "I hate this world," she muttered.
If you could only see what you mean to me
You would never doubt me
Maybe boy, as time goes by
You'll come to finally trust
That I ain't going nowhere, I'll be there
"If you don't fix what you've done, than so help me, I'll kill you and give her your carcass as a present. Though seeing how much she cares for you, I doubt it'd bring her any comfort." Grabbing Van by the scruff of the neck, he shoved him out the door. "Don't come back until you've fixed this," Allen said and slammed the door in the king's face.
How could you doubt me?
If you only knew...
How could you doubt me?
How could you ever think that I could live without you?
On his way to Nicole's room, Van saw Merle walking out of it. Her face was filled with pain for her friend. "Merle? What're you doing here?" The cat girl hissed at the king for the first time. "I was trying to comfort her. I've never seen a human in so much pain, and knowing you're the cause of it only makes it worse. Thank goodness your parents aren't here. They'd be ashamed of you, Van-sama." The king stared at her in shock. She'd never talked to him like that before. Merle pointed to Nicole's room. "Now you go in there and apologize, though I don't see why she should forgive you."
Boy if you only knew what I feel for you
You would never doubt me baby
There's not a minute of the day
I don't think of you
He opened the door, only to find her curled up on her bed, sleeping. Her face was streaked with tears, proving that she'd been crying for hours. He sat down next to her, and wiped the tears away. "Nicole?" She stirred from her sleep, but didn't open her eyes. "I'm so sorry. I was just so upset, and I...the thought of Dilandau touching you...I'm just so sorry." He laid down next to her, and held her. "I don't expect you to forgive me, but I just want you to know that I'm sorry."
I can hear Van's apology, and I want to accept it but.I can't feel anything but anger and hurt. I feel him get up from the bed to leave, but I don't want him to. Not without knowing how I feel. "Do you know why I came to this world?" Van stops and turns around. I open my eyes to see him looking at me, his face a mixture of pain and sorrow. "I came here to make things better. I thought if one person could fix things, it would be me. And than I was brought here, and it was like all of my dreams came true.
But than this world began to show its true face. I saw the pain, the sorrow and the anguish. And I began to hate this world. I thought that you and Merle were the only good things in this world, but I was wrong. I was put through hell and back and when I needed you the most.you weren't there. You never were. And I hate you for it. When this war is over, I'm going home and I'm never coming back. I'm going to forget this world and everyone in it. I wish I'd never come here."
Van frowns. "You're right, I wasn't there for you. And I don't expect you to forgive me, but still.how can you hate me?" I sit up and turn to him, my eyes empty and devoid of emotion. "I could ask you the same thing. I regained my memories, Van Fanel. And I didn't sleep with him. I never would have, because my heart was clouded with feelings for you. But now my heart is clear, and I see you for who you really are. You're insecure, untrusting, and hateful. Tell me why I shouldn't hate you."
I wait patiently for his answer, watching the conflict in his eyes. "Tell me why I shouldn't hate you, Van Fanel," I press. He mumbles something, and I lean closer. "What did you say?" Van mumbles it again and I grab his face and lift it so that his eyes lock with mine. "What did you say?" I ask more firmly. I can feel Van trembling in my hands and frown. I try to fight it, but my concern for him grows. "I said." he trails off. I scoot closer to him on the bed, knowing that what he wants to say is important. "What did you say?"
His eyes meet mine, and I'm shocked to see them glazed with tears. "I love you," he confesses. I gasp, my eyes widening. It can't be true. The things he said to me.he must be lying. "I love you so much that it hurts. The thought of Dilandau touching you or hurting you.it made me so angry. I was so worried when you were gone. I didn't sleep because I was afraid that you would come to my door needing my help. I'm sorry that I said those things to you, I was just so angry," he admits.
I search his eyes and find that everything he said is true. Tears fill my eyes once more and I pull him into a hug. "I feel the same way," I say softly. I feel something wet touch my shoulders, and realize that Van is crying. I pull away slightly, and bring his lips to mine. The feeling of sorrow and happiness is overwhelming. We're just two kids stuck in the middle of a war with no one but each other. The kiss becomes more intense as we both feel need take over us. We're both frightened by the aspect of what the outcome of the war might be. We're both terrified of losing each other.
I wrap my arms around his neck and bring him closer, not wanting to lose any contact with him. I almost lost him once, and I don't want to lose him again. Thunder clashes outside as Van breaks the kiss. "What are we doing?" he asks, his voice husky. I shake my head. "We're doing what our hearts want us to," I say, and crash my lips against his.
Here's my point of view
We see life so differently
Nobody sees it quite the same
We try to live as one.
"I hope Nikki-chan is okay," Merle whimpered in Blake's arms. His kissed the top of her head and nuzzled her hair. "I think they are." Merle looked up at him curiously. "How do you know?" Blake smiled. "I just do," he said, and kissed her lightly. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Millerna sighed. She hadn't seen Allen all day, and it was beginning to bother her. Didn't he find her attractive? Didn't he like her at all? She moved to the window and watched as the storm raged. Just as she was about to release another sigh, she heard her door open. She turned to see Allen standing in the doorway, his face serious.
"Allen-san?" He walked up to her, his hand cupping her face. "Millerna, Nicole told me of your feelings for me a while ago. But I have yet to tell you of mine." Millerna's face fell a bit. "I don't expect you to. I know you still love my sister and." she was cut short by Allen's lips on her's, silencing her. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Dilandau, you should get some rest."
The young pyro only growled in response. He had lost her twice. First Terra, now Nicole. He had lost everything he held dear, and now she hated him. "Folken, why must we feel love?" Folken smiled slightly. "Love is the emotion that controls us all, Dilandau. To not feel love.is to be a monster. We are human, and therefore must abide love." Dilandau growled. "Than I shall not be human, for I shall not be controlled by love."
With that, the young albino turned and walked away to see the sorcerers. Folken sighed as he watched him leave. "To not feel love is to be dead, just as I am," he said with a hint of regret. "Van.does love control you too?" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Meanwhile..
I pulled Van down for another kiss, seeing love reflect in his eyes. "I love you," he says again, and I smile.
It's true it's the little things
Where we go 'round and 'round
So what if we do?
We'll always be together.