Author: xfool
Title: Here In Heaven
Disclaimer: blah,blah,blah…I don't own JAG or "Tears in Heaven" by Eric Clapton
Author Note(s): ok, here is chapter 4. I think this will be one of the last chapters in this story. It's getting really hard to not use the man's name! Let me know what you think….and now without further ado…
Here in Heaven
Would you know my name…If I saw you in heaven?...Would it be the same…If I saw you in heaven?...
He reached her side quickly. "Mac, please, wake up…" he begged as he covered her with the blanket. "Come on Marine…Fight this, wake up…"
She slowly opened her eyes, and pain overtook her.
"Mac? Sarah, what is it? Tell me…"
"It hurts," she said as the ambulance pulled up.
"I know it does, but where?"
She grabbed her abdomen as more pain rippled through her body. "Oh God, the baby…" she said as she fell into the sweet surrender of unconsciousness .
I must be strong…And carry on…'Cause I know I don't belong…Here in heaven…
"Thirty-one year old female, early first trimester. Fell unconscious and is complaining of strong pains. BP is normal. She drifted of en route. Boyfriend called the ambulance, he's waiting outside, making some phone calls."
"Ok, thanks Ian," the nurse said to the medic. "We'll take it from here."
As the doctors tirelessly worked on Mac, he was oustide making phone call after phone call. "Admiral? You need to come to Bethesda, sir. It's Mac…there's something wrong."
He hung up the phone as a nurse walked over to him. "Sir? Are you here with Colonel MacKenzie?"
"Yes, I am. How is she?"
"The doctor wants to see you know. Please follow me." He followed the nurse to Mac's room where the doctor was waiting. He sat on the edge of the bed, holding her hand.
"How is she doctor?"
"Realistically, not good. A lot of stress caused her to cramp and bleed. We were able to stop the bleeding but, because of this, she may not carry this child to term. I have her in a drug – induced coma for now. She will be moved upstairs soon. If her condition worsens, will you be able to make any decisions as to her condition?"
"Yes." To anyone who looked into his eyes, pain and sorrow were clearly evident.
"Very well, I will let you stay here with her. I want her to wake up to someone she knows, it'll make everything seem less severe. When she wakes up you and I will decide who will tell her. I am very sorry," the doctor said. He turned to the nurse, "Can you give them some privacy?"
"Of course doctor."
Would you hold my hand…If I saw you in heaven?...Would you help me stand…If I saw you in heaven?...
Mac was still in her coma when the admiral arrived. "How is she?"
"Not good sir, she may not have this baby…She was so happy…she doesn't deserve this."
"I know son, but miracles can happen."
"Sir, will you stay with her? There is something I need to do."
I'll find my way…Through night and day…'Cause I know I just can't stay…Here in heaven…Time can bring you down…Time can bend your knees…Time can break your heart…Have you begging please, begging please…
He made his way to the small chapel. Kneeling down he began to do something that he hadn't done in a long time. "Please, God, help me. I don't know what to do…Take me, not the baby. I'm begging you. I love her so much, she is my one in a billion, my constant. I am nothing without her…" His sobs broke the peaceful calm of the chapel. "My heart breaks just by looking at her, lying in there not knowing that our baby might never have a chance. What do I tell her? What do I tell myself?"
Beyond the door…There's peace I'm sure…And I know there'll be no more…Tears in heaven…
He returned a short time later, his eyed red and swollen from crying. She was awake, sitting up in bed, her hands protectively over her womb.
"What's wrong?"
He walked over to the chair the admiral had vacated earlier. "I don't know if I should be the one to tell you this Sarah."
"Tell me what? Is it the baby?"
He took her hands and looked directly into her tear filled eyes. A lone tear escaped from her eye as he said, "You may not have this baby."
Would you know my name…If I saw you in heaven?...Would it be the same…If I saw you in heaven?...
He held her close as she cried. He cried with her. He knew the fear that she must have…not only is losing him but also in losing the baby.
"I'm sorry," he said quietly. "I don't know what came over me. I never meant to drive you away. I love you so much, you and this baby."
His words made her cry harder. And he just held her tighter.
"I love you too."
I must be strong…And carry on…
"You have to make a decision…if this pregnancy were to put your health at risk, and I had to decide for you, what would you want."
"I would want you to love this baby and tell him or her all about their mother and what she meant to you."
He words cut at his very soul. He didn't want to lose her. He couldn't. So he chose to ask her one more question.
"Will you marry me?"
'Cause I know I don't belong…Here in heaven.
Wanna know her answer? Tune in next time…