Disclaimer – I do not own Escaflowne or the characters of Escaflowne.
Dreams and Decisions
Chapter Two
Hitomi didn't know where she was. She sat still for a moment, trying to figure out what was going on and why her heart was thundering in her ribcage. Fear had a tight grip around her, keeping her from focusing on anything tangible in front of her and making her stay in that panicked state of unawares for a moment longer. She breathed deeply, sucking in breaths and trying to see her environment.
The bed came slowly into focus, her stuffed panda bear at the foot of her bed on top of the flannel blanket with jumping sheep on it. She blinked once, twice. Her breathing still hadn't regulated, but she took more steady breaths. The memory of the intense fear in her dream still plagued her, making her hold her hand to her chest just to make sure that she was still in one piece. She remembered an attack, but she didn't know what kind of attack or who was trying to hurt her. She only remembered that unparalleled fear that made her blood too cold and made her heart beat so loudly it hurt her ears.
"Whoa," Crys said, making her way from her desk to Hitomi's bed. "Did you have a bad dream or what? You just sat straight up in bed, Hitomi, and you scared the shit out of me."
"I'm sorry," Hitomi breathed, her voice shaky. She gripped the edges of her bed sheets between her fingers, determined to stop her hands from trembling. "I just had a horrible dream."
"About what?" Crys sat on the edge of her bed and handed Hitomi a convenient mug of lemon tea that she'd just warmed for herself. "The rape dream again?"
Hitomi shuddered at the thought of that dream. It had been too vivid for her to sleep well for weeks afterward. "No," she admitted. "It was something else. But I can't even describe it."
"Don't weasel out of this," Crys said with a bit of tease in her voice. Crys was always essential to lightening Hitomi's intense mood. "Try to describe."
"It was just scary. I was being attacked, and I don't know what it was and I was so scared that I just woke up. But I couldn't tell that I'd woken up so I was still scared even though I wasn't dreaming anymore."
"Weird."
"Tell me about it. My heart is still beating fast."
"Maybe it's the stress. You've had a couple papers due this week," Crys offered, watching as Hitomi took shaky sips from her own tea.
"Do I ever get weirded out by stress?"
"No, not really. You're too mellow most of the time. But don't think I don't notice when you're really busy with schoolwork and you skip meals." Crys gave a little knowing smile. "I guess we all deal with our stress in different ways, huh?"
"I guess." Hitomi took another deep drink of the tea, glad that Crys had thought to add a packet of sweetener before handing it to her. While Crys liked her tea raw and herbal, Hitomi took a liking to the Southern tradition of adding sugar by the teaspoonful. "But I've never had bad dreams because of stress."
"What about the whole Gaia thing?"
"Those were visions, not dreams. I was awake each time." Hitomi sighed and handed the empty mug that said "Boo!" on it to Crys. She flopped back onto her pillow, staring up at a photocopy of her favorite Van drawing that was stapled to the bottom of the bed above her. "I still feel out of whack," she admitted in a soft voice.
"Well, sleepyhead, since you've been asleep for two-thirds of the day already, why don't you get up and let's go somewhere. Take a shower and get dressed."
"Alright," Hitomi conceded, rolling over to look at the extra alarm clock that rested in the windowsill by her bed. It read 3:13pm. She rubbed her eyes and glared at the sun coming in through the blinds. Crys had probably been up since 10 o'clock that morning, but Hitomi always slept in past 1 or 2 in the afternoon on Saturdays. 3:13 might just be a new record. She did the math in her head. She'd been asleep for the past thirteen and a half hours. Had to be a new record.
Hitomi was ready to leave after a shower and dressing in an old pair of jeans, lavender tank top and her favorite worn-in black combat boots. She was not known for dressing up on weekends. Crys was about her opposite. She looked what the sorority girls would call "cute" with a knee-length denim skirt, green shirt, matching green flip-flops, and matching green headband around her short 'fro. Green was one of Crys's favorite colors, and she just happened to look great in it.
"Ready to go?" Crys asked, eyeing Hitomi as she brushed her still wet hair out of her face while looking in the mirror.
"Yea," Hitomi said, tearing herself away from the sink and following Crys out the door. "So where exactly are we going?" They traipsed down the stairs and out the front door of the dorm hall.
"I dunno. I figured we could grab some lunch at Yoshi's on the way to the zoo. Maybe eat in the park outside, since its such a nice day." As Crys was talking Hitomi looked up into the perfectly blue sky, unmarred by any clouds. Only in Texas could you get a beautiful spring day like this after having a week of rain. And rain was not a happy thing during tornado season.
The resident alley cat started rubbing Crys's legs as they walked through campus to the cheap Japanese takeout place that was on the way to the park. Crys tried to ignore its little mews, but she had to stop and reach down to pet the thing.
"Look at you, softy," Hitomi teased. "You act all tough, but when a little kitty cat wants its head rubbed you cave every time."
"I hate cats. I'm a dog person. But if rubbing its head will get it to shut up and leave me alone, then I'll gladly oblige." Crys flashed a dazzling smile and left the cat contented on the sidewalk.
The girls walked in silence through campus, waving hello to the occasional passersby regardless of whether or not they knew the person. Yoshi's wasn't busy at this time of day, so they quickly ordered their regular sukiyaki beef bowls and got two large green teas to go. The park was only a few blocks away, and they didn't talk to each other again until Crys picked a picnic table under a tree for them to have lunch.
"Still a little messed up from that dream thing?" Crys asked, noticing how Hitomi's hand shook as she pulled out her bowl from the paper bag. Crys grabbed her own bowl and held her chopsticks in hand. Hitomi had taught her how to eat with them the first year they'd roomed together, and Crys was now practically a pro.
"Yea, I guess. I still feel that fear in my heart. It's odd." Hitomi took a deep breath and started eating.
"Very odd," Crys agreed. "How is Hibiki doing?"
Hitomi smiled. They referred to her gigantic custom-made computer as Hibiki, because he's strong willed, thick headed and gets his ass into messes before he knows what he's doing. There was a character on a series just like that. And so her computer was named for that character, and he had proven to uphold his namesake.
"He's a little pissed at the fact that the power went out three times this last week because of all the storms we've had. So he's been shutting down randomly on me every now and then," Hitomi answered between bites of rice and beef.
"Probably because he misses his lover." Crys started laughing out loud at the thought. Her computer was named Gilliam, after another computer on another series. And Crys insisted that her computer was gay, Hitomi's computer was gay, and they were both lovers. Gilliam was away at the moment, visiting the Compaq tech support shop.
"My computer is not twitchy just because your laptop isn't around," Hitomi insisted, smiling at the entirely too huge inside joke.
"Oh yes he is. Hibiki misses Gilliam. He's a jilted lover!" Crys and Hitomi burst into laughter, causing all the birds that had roosted in the tree above them to take flight. And that only made them laugh more. It took the girls a few minutes to calm down and compose themselves.
"So, speaking of jilted lovers," Crys started.
"No you don't," Hitomi warned. "Don't start talking about Van again."
"Hey, you brought up his name, Hitomi, not me." Crys gave her a look that said she wasn't going to back down off the Van issue.
Hitomi gave yet another exasperated sigh. She knew better than to fight with Crys. The girl was as stubborn as they come. "I miss him, ok? Is that what you wanted to hear?"
"Well, I already knew that you missed him. What about him do you miss?" Crys never tired of hearing Hitomi's fairy tale meeting with Van and their time together. No matter how tough she seemed outside, Crys was a hopeless romantic deep down. And she loved a good story.
"I miss the way we sat outside that one night, lying on the grass and just talking about ourselves and our families. We connected then. And I miss the way that he would always rush to protect me, then get flushed and embarrassed after he saved me or accidentally touched me." Hitomi smiled at the memories. "And I thought his being distant was because he didn't like me…"
Crys gave a sigh. She knew the entire story by heart. And she loved every minute of it. "I wish we could go back there. You could finally meet your Prince Charming, or King, or whatever he is now. And we could have adventures and fun."
"Not all of it is fun. There were several times when I could have died, Crys."
"But that kind of life is better than this," Crys insisted, waving her hand around at the world around them.
Hitomi looked up at Crys. They'd had this talk before too. "I don't like going to school every day, and I don't like having to look forward to working every day of my life after I graduate. I'd rather risk my life in an enchanted world than live through my mundane existence here," Hitomi admitted.
Traffic streamed by on the interstate not far from where the zoo and park were located. People went on about their daily lives. No one noticed the two suddenly solemn and discontented girls at a picnic table.
"I wish we could just go back," Hitomi muttered, closing her eyes.
*******
"I wish she would just come back," Van sighed to himself, watching the sunrise over his kingdom. Fanella was most beautiful when the sky was streaked with blinding orange, yellow and pale blue streams of color. Light wisps of clouds floated high above his capital city, and Van longed to reach out and touch them. He was contemplating forgoing his personal vow to not use his wings unless absolutely necessary when a scuffle on the roof tore him from his thoughts.
"I told you, you can't come see him now. Lord Van doesn't want any visitors," Merle insisted, stamping her little cat-foot and putting her hands on her hips. She hardly looked intimidating standing in front of Van's cousin Augustus.
Gus mimicked her pose with a slight smile tugging at his lips. "And I told you, dear Merle, that I need to see Van," he said with that same soft monotone that reminded Van of Folken. Everything about Gus reminded him of Folken. The men could have been brothers, or twins, much more easily than Van and Folken. They had that same light blue hair and dark red eyes. But Gus's hair was longer and pulled back into a ponytail at the base of his neck, with some of the shorter strands near his face falling free and hanging in the wind.
"Gus, don't make me claw you…"
"Little cat-girl, don't make me declaw you…"
"I'm not little!"
"You're smaller than me."
"Well, so is most of the country. You're too tall to be smaller than anybody," Merle whined. "And I'm not little. I'm almost 18 years old."
"Then it's about time for you to move back to a tribe, find a tom, and start a litter," Gus countered.
"Stop it, you two," Van said, moving to stand up from where he'd been sitting on the roof. Gus straightened up from his mock-Merle pose and rested a hand on the hilt of his sword.
"General Augustus Fanel, requesting permission to speak freely, sir," Gus said without any of his former joking evident in his voice, posture, or words.
Van's eyebrows knitted in confusion for a moment. "Of course you can always speak without asking permission, Gus. I don't know why you…"
"Then get your head out of your ass and ask her to come back, sir," Gus said, still standing at attention but adorning a smirk of satisfaction at seeing Van's mouth drop open.
"Things aren't that easy," Van muttered, lowering his head. "I don't know if she even wants to see me again. How do I know that she won't haul off and hit me again? She did the first time we met."
"That's cause you were acting like a pompous dick…"
"And she's the one who left. I didn't want her to go."
"Did you tell her that?"
"No."
Gus put a hand on Van's shoulder, leading him back to the open window and into the palace. "I know it's not easy for you to admit you're a dick…" Van's head snapped up at Gus's words, but he continued as if he didn't notice his King's distress, "…and you can't deny that you were a dick for ever letting her leave five years ago. But for the gods' sakes, it's been five years. Either admit your mistake or move on." Gus had never raised his voice when he chastised Van, but he still made Van feel two feet tall, rather than the six feet he'd grown to.
"I just don't know what to do. I'm going to be 21 in six months, and if I don't have a bride by then, then the Counsel will choose one for me…" Van said, talking mostly to himself.
"Lord Van," Merle spoke up from his other side. "The Counsel is already choosing."
"What?!"
"That's what I came to get you for, Van. They have a selection of women in the Counsel Hall now. And they're narrowing it down." Gus gave Van a look of sympathy. Van muttered under his breath the entire way to the Hall.
Right before he stalked inside, Gus pulled him aside. "Listen, Van. If you want to fix this whole thing, you have to make up your mind today. Either decide to go after Hitomi with the purpose of asking her to marry you, like you've wanted to for the last five years…or you accept whatever offer the Counsel makes. Don't keep putting them off like you always do."
Van gave a curt nod. He'd been skirting around the subject of marriage and an heir to the throne for the better part of two years. It was time he made a decision.