Quiet.
Quiet.
Me Quiet. Me am quiet, and me Quiet.
Pa tells me "Quiet."
Pa tells me "Quiet," ever.
Pa make hurts when says "Quiet"
So me am quiet. And me Quiet.
Ma no tell me "Quiet."
Ma no tell me nothing.
Ma come door, food. Me hurt for Ma come. Me happy when Ma come. Me no hurt with food. But me still quiet.
Ma no tell me "Quiet," but me still quiet.
Me no quiet food, Pa come. Pa hurt. Big stick. Hurt arms. Tight.
Me no quiet Pa hurt. Pa hurt when me no quiet. Pa hurt til quiet. Til eye close quiet. Me no food when eye close quiet. Me hurt no food.
So me happy Ma come. But me quiet for Ma, so me quiet for Pa.
Ma not here. Pa not here. Me hear foot sounds. Close eyes, see Ma Pa. Talk, play.
At door me no play. Me sit. Me no move. Me no can move. Tight. Move hurt. Chair hurt move. So me quiet.
Eyes close bed. Eyes open Quiet chair. Eyes open see Pa. Feel tight. Move hurt.
Pa says "Quiet."
Me am quiet.
Pa go door. Pa gone.
Me quiet. Me ever quiet. Pa want quiet. So me quiet. Me eyes open chair. Me no eyes close bed. Me no play. Me look. Sticks on floor. Little light show little specks.
And me listen. Me hear quiet. Me hear outside – plink plink, caw caw. Me hear foot sounds. Me hear Ma Pa.
Ma angry. Ma unquiet.
"You promised."
Ma say words. Me can listen, but not know words.
"You promised me she could go outside on her thirteenth birthday."
"But she can't, Paula."
Pa. Pa angry. Pa unquiet.
Me know.
Ma unquiet, Pa hurt Ma. Me unquiet, Pa hurt Quiet. Pa unquiet, Pa hurt Quiet.
Me am quiet. But me listen.
"She can barely walk by herself. She's barely alive."
Pa
"She's tied to a chair all day."
Ma
"To keep her safe."
Pa
"To keep this family safe."
Pa
"To keep yourself safe you mean."
Ma.
Crash. Ma cry. Pa unquiet. Pa big stick Mum? Pa big stick when unquiet, hurt Quiet. Pa angry, hurt Ma. Pa angry, hurt Quiet? Me eyes open, Pa hurt big stick Quiet. Me eyes close, Pa no hurt?
Me close eyes. Me am quiet. Me no hear Ma. Me no hear Pa.
Me can only hear inside. Whooooeeee, whooooeee, thud. Outside – Ma Pa bang bang. But inside – quiet now.
Me open eyes. Big stick. No little stick, now big stick. Biggest stick. Where stick come? No stick hurting, stick too big. Soft at top, stuck at ground. Why stick here?
Stick open. Too small open, but open.
Me see her. From big stick. Not-Ma. Angry face like Pa, but look like Ma but not-Ma. Dark colour, look around.
"I swear I will never trust my future self again. Where has this dematerialization circuit taken me now?"
Not-Ma look me. Me close eyes – not see me.
"Hello there."
Not-Ma see me! But me close eyes. No hurt if close eyes.
"I know you're not sleeping. There's no point pretending."
Me open eyes little. Not-Ma face big now. Look me. Feel warm.
"Look, I have no desire to stay here any longer, so just provide me with the date, and rough location and I can be on my way."
Not-Ma not quiet. Pa come, pa hurt Quiet. Ah-ah-ah-ah
"Speak up you idiot. Don't just gasp like a fool. I haven't even done anything to you yet, why are you frightened?"
Not-Ma move me. Stare me.
"Why are you tied up to this chair? Is this a normal thing humans do to their children?"
Not-Ma very not quiet. Pa come. Pa hurt Quiet.
"Just tell me! Make some sounds! You're beginning to annoy me."
Not-Ma angry. Very very not quiet. Me hear Pa footsteps. Pa come. Pa see big stick, hurt Quiet. Not-ma be not Quiet, not Quiet. But Pa hurt Quiet. Pa hurt Quiet til eyes close. Til eyes close and not open. Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah.
Not-Ma move way. Sniff sniff. Urgh face.
"You can't talk, can you?"
"Who the hell are you?"
Pa in room. Pa look Not-Ma. Me look Pa. No hurt Pa. Me quiet. Pa no hurt Quiet. No stick. Me quiet! Pa no hurt me.
Not-Ma stare Pa.
"Is this your child?"
"That's none of your business. What the hell are you doing in my house?"
"I was just wondering how long you've tied her up for. By the smell I'd say it's been a while. Is that a normal practice here?"
Pa not see Quiet now. Pa look Not-Ma. Angry face at Not-Ma. Pa hurt Not-Ma, but not hurt Quiet.
"You wouldn't understand. She needs protecting. This keeps her safe from herself and the world outside."
"Oh I think I understand. Back when I was a little time tot, they did something similar. Strap you to a chair, let you see everything, leave you on your own to figure out what happens next. It was called growing. Made me who I am today."
Pa smile. Pa never smile.
"So you do understand. So few do. Now, like I said before, what are you doing here?"
"I was looking for something. Something a friend told me to find. And I think I've found it now. I think it's time for your daughter to be released."
Pa angry now but angry Not-Ma, not Quiet.
"You serious? Who do you think you are? You come in, a stranger, tell me how to rule my family? Fine- you want her released, let's see how she survives on her own!"
Pa coming. Not hurt me, no hurt me. Pa hold wrists, tight, hurt. Then no tight. Hurt little.
"Get up!"
Pa angry. Pa not hurt. But Pa will hurt. So me move. Feet ground, hard wood. Push. Push arms, push legs. Head funny. Shakey shakey. No! Down. Hurt. See floor. Pa hurt me? Me not bad. Me Quiet, and me am quiet.
Me see floor. Me hear voices but see floor.
"You see how she is when she doesn't have us around protecting us."
Pa.
"Yes, I see what you mean. She's helpless."
Not-Ma
"Pathetic. Barely even alive. She's lucky we didn't just leave her outside as a baby to get it over with. It would have saved us twelve years of stress and pain."
Pa. Me stress and pain.
"Yes death would have been quicker. It's odd. I've killed so many people, so many many people before, but I don't think I've ever ruined a life. Logically I shouldn't see a distinction. If anything killing should be crueler, and yet, actually ruining a life seems worse for me somehow. I think I've found what I'm looking for now. Thank you for your time."
Not-Ma again. Not-Ma leaving me with Pa? Me close eyes. Pa move me bed if close eyes, not hurt.
"Fine, now get ou-"
Pa but now Pa quiet. Pa never quiet. Pa feet not quiet, Pa talk not quiet, Pa hurt not quiet. But Pa quiet.
Ma not quiet. Me hear Ma feet – bang bang bang, not quiet.
"Who are you?"
Me hear sound – bwarrr. New sound, not know sound. But no hear Ma. Ma quiet. Pa quiet. Feet quiet. Voice quiet. Me hear Quiet – ah-ah-ah-ah.
Arms pull, put me on chair. Me open eyes, see no Ma, no Pa, but Not-Ma see me. Not-Ma put me on chair. Not-Ma has little box.
"Let's try that again. I'm the Mast-no, that doesn't suit. You can call me, Missee. And a friend far away from here once asked me to stand for something, to be kind. And I'm trying."
Me little not quiet. Ahah.
"Yes, that's probably the best we can get from you for now. Now I have a little present for you."
Not-Ma give box. Me open. In box Ma, Pa. Little. Angry yelling crying, not quiet. But little Ma and Pa, so little not quiet.
"There comes a time where the child changes from seeking protection from parents to providing protection for the parents. I felt this time is now. You are free to do as you want to protect your parents from now on."
Pa yelling – little not quiet. Squeak squeak squeak. Missee speak not quiet big.
"Now, what are we going to do with you? I don't think this is the best place for you anymore, especially with your protectors slightly reduced in stature. When I was left behind to fend for myself, I found travelling to a new location was really where I found I began to recover. Shall we see what we can find?"
Me eyes big. Me quiet noise- aha. Me feel boom-boom-boom not quiet inside, but me want to move.
Arms push, legs push. Feel floor on feet. Stand.
Me fall. Box fall.
But Missee catch me. Missee hold me.
"Steady yourself there. Let's see if we can find you a comfier chair in the TARDIS and go from there."
Feet slide floor. But Missee hold, carry to big stick.
Box on ground. Ma Pa squeak ground. Me walk to big stick.
Big stick open. Me in big stick. Wow! Big stick is big room!
Big room not quiet.
Me not quiet.
Me am Quiet. And me am Loud!