Margaret, swallow whatever ever is in your mouth. Do not take a sip of water. This is your wet keyboard warning, Babe!
Not mine, all hail Janet Evanovich, yada yada, you know the drill...
"Stephanie Michelle Plum, you are not amusing. In my day, if you didn't have something nice to say, you didn't say anything at all!"
I laughed so hard that I spit my diet Coke all over my phone. I'm so glad that I spent a little bit more to get the waterproof case. I could hear my grandma in the background saying, "That's a hoot. The only time I ever remember you being quiet was when they took your tonsils out when you were eight years old." I could picture the scene in my head. Grandma was probably sitting at the kitchen table in a track suit that said "Juicy" or "Pink" across her butt. She would be drinking coffee and rolling her eyes at her daughter. Mom would shoot a look of longing at the cabinet where she hid her whiskey, then turn her attention back to me.
"Don't think I didn't hear your tone of voice, young lady." Oh, good, we were back to me already. "I bet you Dottie Lucarelli's daughter doesn't give her sass when she needs help."
"But Mom," I began, only to be cut off again.
"I'm in the middle of a crisis here, and you're not helping. Of course, what did I expect? Why me? You would think that after all I've done for you, you'd be more inclined to help."
"But Mom"
"Don't you, 'But Mom' me. All I want is a little help, is that too much to ask?"
I pulled up in front of my parents' side of the duplex that they've lived in since before I was born. Both my mother and grandmother were standing at the door waiting for me. I walked in and gave grandma a kiss on the cheek. Still talking on my phone, I said to my mother, "Ok, I'm here to help."
"Well it's about time." my mom said while grandma chuckled and went back into the kitchen.
"Seriously. I'm here to help you find your cell phone."
"Yes" she said in an exasperated tone. "I've been looking for it all morning."
Hanging up my own phone, I plucked the one she'd been talking to me on out of her hand. Holding it out to her, I said, "Does it look like this?"
She stood there for a moment looking like a landed trout. Abruptly, she snatched the phone out of my hand and walked upstairs and out of sight.
Shaking my head, I went into the kitchen to grab some coffee and cinnamon rolls with grandma. I was here, I might as well visit, right? I asked grandma, "You couldn't resist, could you?"
With a twinkle in her eye, she told me, "I'm beginning to think that the wheels on her bus do not go round & round."
A/N... I was so sorry to hear about Margaret's passing, she was a friend and an inspiration. I couldn't help but post just one more Helen story, she would have loved it.