Are you sure it's safe to have her around?
Not entirely. But everyone deserves a second chance.
.
shifts
.
He catches her once the others have scattered from the corridor, just before she can go to do the same.
"Hey."
She stops and turns. He's still wearing that smile she saw on him when they regrouped at the shoreline.
"I just wanted to say, thanks."
Her eyebrows slip down her forehead. "For?"
"Voting yes." He'd needed a unanimous decision for it to happen, and Garfield wasn't the only one shocked to see that fifth hand raise, completing the set. "I know this isn't what you wanted, at first."
It's laughable, how understated that is. How they both know 'at first' means 'this morning'. Neither do laugh, but his smile stays. She can rely on that.
"She deserves a second chance," Raven says, telling herself she believes it with her gut. That if she speaks it out loud, hears it from her own mouth, it must be true.
"Right?" He takes a step closer. He's excited, like a child getting the puppy he's always wanted. It's annoying. "I mean, I know things got outta hand. But it was totally a misunderstanding!"
He's speaking at her like he's still trying to sway her to something she's already agreed to. She doesn't have the heart to tell him she has no interest in his spiel.
A guaranteed place on the team wasn't a misunderstanding. It was a gross presumption on the terraformer's part.
"You guys saw her today, the powers thing is sorted. I mean, how cool was she out there? We'd be stupid not to take her!"
"Right..." is all Raven wants to say, so is all she does say. He should be used to her detached tone by now. It shouldn't make him pause, make the atmosphere wrinkle in front of him.
"So uh, yeah." His hands dip into his uniform pockets. "Thanks."
Raven folds her arms across her chest. "Maybe you can make it up by sparing us all the come-ons."
The gleam is missing from her eye, yet he knows the dig is a joke. Because yeah, his affections aren't quiet, or tucked away. They're loud, like fireworks. Loud like his mouth.
"Why, you jealous?" he gibes before he can stop it. It comes with a flourish of his brows. Raven's face remains stoic.
"Of what?"
It didn't land. And immediately, he knows why.
It's because she didn't want it to land. It's because this girl isn't into him, and never has been. But you know who is?
Terra. She's been into him from the start. She's adventure and laughter and sunshine, all rolled into one girl.
Yeah. Terra is definitely the right one for him. He thinks this as he also thinks there's about as much point to explaining the quip as there had been to saying it.
"... Nothing," Gar blanks. The air is trying to crease again. He carries on before it can. "Anyway, I'm gonna go fix up some lunch. Catch ya' later." Brief, direct. Just like she is with him.
He feels his soles move over the carpet.
"Beast Boy."
They break.
"Yeah?" He glances over his shoulder. There's a cloud across her eyes, and he is reminded of how unnerving she can sometimes be.
"Make sure I was wrong."
He realises he'd been holding his breath, and releases it. The warm smile makes its swift return.
"Don't worry, Rave," he calls back down the hallway. "Terra's awesome. You'll see!"
So, we really are friends?
Close enough.
.
tremors
.
She's practising spells when the door knocks. She can feel her aura past the metal. Kinetic.
She finds she doesn't really want to answer, so isn't sure why she does. Maybe it's the curiosity.
"Oh, hey!" Terra smiles and gives an awkward wave when the panel veers back.
"Hi," Raven says, injecting some inflection into it. She's been trying to be nice. Welcoming. It isn't so hard anymore, because in the past few days she's found that Terra isn't so bad. She even kind of likes her.
"Sorry. Don't wanna bug you," Terra goes on, spotting runes on the floor past Raven's shoulder. The witchy stuff really freaks her out. She pushes past it. "But um, can we talk?"
Raven blinks. What could she want to talk to her about?
"Uh, sure." She has no idea why she steps aside, but by the time Terra's in, she can't take it back.
The blonde plants herself onto Raven's bed as though it were her own. Raven falters before she joins her there.
"Wow," Terra gapes, taking in the room. "Nice... cauldron?" Smooth, Markov.
Raven follows her stare and notes the vessel cast in iron on the floor by her dresser.
"Yeah. Thanks," she returns, just as awkward. Two actors trying to follow the script and make it look seamless.
They bathe in the stillness until Raven speaks again.
"... So."
"Oh!" Terra jolts. "Right. So, look. I know the two of us... we kinda got off on the wrong foot."
She's putting it mildly, probably to spare them both the tension.
"You could say that." She plays along.
"I want things to stay good between us," Terra professes. "I don't wanna overstep or anything. So, I was hoping maybe you could tell me what I can do to avoid that?"
Raven leans back, a little surprised. "That's... not necessary," she tells her. "You haven't overstepped."
Terra leans forward. "Okay. Well, that's good, but... I still wanna know. I mean, you all have like a year on each other." A small laugh comes out. "So I'm behind, y'know? And I just" - a pause - "I want things to go right this time. I wanna be a good friend to you guys."
She holds Raven's eyes.
"A good friend to you."
Raven isn't sure if she can remember anyone ever making this kind of effort to know her. It's an insistent kind. Thoughtful, she entertains.
That thing captive in her, the yearning for companionship and want to be normal, nudges the sibyl's voice out from behind her lips.
"Well..." she starts, though she does not know where to start. "You should know my powers are linked to my emotions."
"Like mine," Terra immediately says with a smile. Raven hadn't realised that.
"Yes," she concurs. Slow. Reflective.
But this isn't a friendly hand reaching out, marking all the ways they are inherently the same. This is Terra cracking the window open to break into her house. To make it so they can talk like this again, and again, without it seeming suspicious.
This is Terra learning her teammate, not because she cares, but because someone else does.
"But, they're volatile. Most of the time I need to keep a sense of calm. I can't get too..."
"Emotional?"
She nods, and Terra thinks Raven's mystery is so oddly alluring. Raven is beautiful. Raven has friends. A home. Control.
Raven has everything Terra wants.
Dig deeper.
"How do you deal with that?" she asks, brows raised. Raven doesn't have to think long on the answer.
"I have to set aside a few hours a day to meditate. I have to remove myself from certain environments," she shares. "It's not personal if I seem distant. Sometimes I just... have to be."
Terra spots the rift there, like a big, black mark. She's insecure about that. Good.
"Sounds tough," the blonde muses in a pretence of understanding. Really, Terra hopes it's tough. It'll make things easier when it matters.
"It can be," Raven confesses warily, as if unsure whether she should actually say it. She doesn't elaborate on how much damage she can truly cause, what her friends have seen only shards of. She keeps that in her back pocket for later.
The two girls talk a while longer. Discussions of their last mission transforms into prattle about Star's cooking this morning. It's nice. It's comfortable.
Terra moves a bit on the quilt, and Raven thinks she's readying to leave, when she's actually just sliding higher up the bed.
"Hey uh, one other thing," she starts. Her head turns a little and eyes run from Raven's. "Do you... know what kinda music Beast Boy's into?"
A pause.
"Beast Boy?"
"Yeah."
Another pause. Then, "It's hard not to," Raven says. "He seems to think everyone wants to hear it."
Raven hears the laugh Terra forces out, but doesn't hear its hollowness. She knows the answer. She could give the answer. But instead the word 'Why?' springs out of her.
"Huh?" Terra starts.
"Why do you ask?" Raven repeats.
"Oh." Terra did not intend to be asked the questions here. She looks to the wall and scratches her arm. "I just— I mean, I was hoping..."
It's almost like Terra is leaving long silences so Raven will talk instead. But Raven doesn't talk.
"... Just curious."
"You're a bad liar."
No I'm not, she thinks. I'm a great one.
"I wanna know him better, is all."
Cop out.
Raven can tell it's not for the same reasons she wants to know her.
"Oh," the magus breathes. "Do you..." Then she hesitates. The girl beside her is shrugging, and blushing, and glancing down at her knees.
A crush on Beast Boy is something Terra isn't sure she has, but she might, and ultimately, having a crush on Beast Boy makes all of this more believable. Makes her seem like more of a person.
"I dunno yet. Maybe?" Blue-grey eyes find Raven again. "I mean, he's so sweet, right?" Her thin lips curve up in the corner. She tucks some hair behind her ear. "He's, like, genuine and caring and stuff. I don't think I've ever met someone like that."
Raven's staring, and quickly realising she agrees. She doesn't like that.
"Yeah..."
Terra tips her head back and presses her hands into her eyes. "Arghh, so lame," she somewhat laughs to herself. Her hands come away, revealing peach-stained freckles. "What do you think I should do?"
This has Raven's face stretching out.
"I... don't think I'm the right person to—"
"C'mon Raven, please? I don't wanna tell the guys. And Starfire... She's great. For real. But I get the impression she might..."
"Meddle?"
"Right," the blonde offers a bemused smile. It does little to appease Raven.
She plants her palms into the bed either side of her, drops her head when she sighs. "Terra, this is kind of—"
"No. Don't worry, I get it." She does? "It's weird, right?" Terra explains for her. "He's like a brother to you."
Two thick brows furrow. No, Raven thinks. She doesn't like that either.
"Yeah." If she speaks it out loud, it must be true.
"I don't wanna make you uncomfortable. So, look, just forget I asked, alright?" Her guest is suddenly standing from the mattress, walking over to the door with disorienting ease. "I'mma go. But this was nice. Talking," she calls back. "We should do it again."
Raven is watching her, and isn't totally sure if she hums in agreement. Her vision snaps back to life. "Um, sure, we should." She tries for a smile. Terra smiles back and exits with a wave.
"Later, Raven."
No more trust.
No more mercy.
.
earthquake
.
She tastes the earth inside her mouth.
They're underground. The cold passage feels like a grave, and mortals like Terra should fear the dead.
Something wet sticks in her lungs. Squirms in her chest. It might be mud, or it might be anger.
She gets an acidic tickle before it forces its way up her throat, then Raven is coughing. Raven is hunched over, grasping the clasp of her cloak, choking up dry, stinging air at the tail of her team.
It doesn't stop, and she thinks any minute now she'll hack up her guts onto the gravel.
"Woah." Everyone turns, but he's the one to move forward. Something that looks like clay coats her lips. His eyes go wide. "Raven, what—"
"Don't touch me," she snaps, striking the hand that was inches from her shoulder. It hovers in front of him as he jerks back.
"What?..."
He watches her tremble then straighten her spine, and when their eyes lock, hers are glacial. She scowls and shoves past him.
"What is your deal?" He speaks to the back of a muddy, blue cloak. She doesn't turn to respond.
"Must be one of my tantrums."
Her tone is waspish. She can't blunt her tongue. She doesn't want to.
Tantrums. Could he have put it any worse way?
Raven had to live with her father's rage. He'd handed Terra that avalanche of strife and she'd vehemently proceeded to crush her with it.
"What are you talking about?" Mauve boots follow her stride. His friends are watching them, pained and confused. He feels the same. "I just wanna know what—"
"What happened?" Raven whips around. Now, her eyes are black chunks of ice. "Why don't you ask your girlfriend. I'm pretty sure she knows."
Beast Boy's whole face sinks. He's eviscerated where he stands, and the cave becomes colder.
"Rae..." She hears a low voice and metal feet draw near. "Go easy on—"
"Oh who?!"
Cyborg freezes. Her vision is blotchy; her betrayal a hot, screaming red.
She wants Beast Boy to feel the sting in her words. She wants them pointed like skewers. Painful like drowning.
"The one who talked to her about us behind our back? Who was so determined to let her in?" Her bones begin to quake. "Or the one who left with her while her soldiers broke into our house?!"
Venom reigns inside her. Raven is furious that they're buried whilst Terra is somewhere above, walking around with a pulse. Walking around on their grave.
The air spasms as stalactites shudder, like rattling spears. Some spark with inky blows, and Beast Boy is paralysed. Her words have driven nails into him.
"Raven." Robin approaches her, quiet. "They were Slade's soldiers."
Ah. But the lieutenant had been living there for two months, and she was invited in.
"Same difference," Raven glowers.
Something like a gorge sucks itself through Beast Boy's heart. A fierce, murky reflex crawls up in him, working its way out of his stomach.
"Y'know what, Raven?" He isn't sure when Star's hand had come to rest on his arm, but he knocks it off to stalk over to the girl. "Fine. Be mad! I'm mad!" His teeth grate like plates of rock. His eyes flash in the dark. "But I was not the only one who—"
"Enough!"
The cry comes from the lungs of a Tamaranean warrior. It holds power and command. Starfire has placed herself between the two, a hand on each of their shoulders to keep them apart.
They should be grateful that they're all alive, not fighting over a common enemy. Terra didn't destroy them, but their vexation will finish the job.
"Do you not see what is happening?!" the alien shouts. "Terra and Slade are turning us against each other, just as they intended." Shaking the mantle of their friendship; their foundations, till there's nothing left to stand on. "We must now put aside our conflicts and focus on what matters."
Silence lurches back and forth between the two Titans. Fatal. Heavy.
A rebuttal is considered before Raven tosses it away. She doesn't have the energy. She needs to reserve it for when they emerge to fight their mistakes.
So she strides off, boots stamping down the cavern trail.
Her teammates' frowns clog the air.
Starfire lowers her arms and watches with the others as Robin sighs, walking ahead to soothe their cloaked friend. She is next to follow.
Gar feels the release of Cyborg's breath beside him.
"I don't know what you said about her, B." Somehow, he knows there's something specific here. Knows Raven is hurt with something personal. "But you'll have to hash it out later."
He leaves his brother standing in the shadows. And when Beast Boy's bitterness fades, he is suddenly knocked sick with guilt.
Ahead, Robin is speaking to Raven, but his words shrivel when they reach her. All she hears is Terra's voice in her head. All she feels is throbbing revenge.
Terra leaves them with an earthquake. It's only Raven who realises she'd arrived with one too.
It'll be the last thing you ever do.
.
rubble
.
She hears him crying next door, every night, for four nights. On the fifth night, there's knocking instead.
Raven doesn't want to answer. She doesn't want to confront those rings beneath his eyes. That absence of light in him.
She doesn't want to face the results of not trusting her gut.
Raven had known. Somewhere in the recesses of her mind, she had known that this could happen. Terra had swept past her on their first mission, and visions had sparked behind violet eyes, and Robin had asked if everything was okay.
She's been sitting with this realisation since the volcano.
Raven knew. And she voted yes anyway.
She opens the door.
"Hi," he says. His voice is croaky from disuse, but not desolate. He even tries for a sombre smile. It doesn't really reach.
"Hi." She sets her face blankly, though the mask is belied by the faintest pull of her brows.
His uniform is a mess. His hair is a mess. She sees him inhale through his nose.
"I'm sorry," is what she hears next. It stalls her.
He's sorry?
Beast Boy wilts, like a plant left in the shade. "You were right." He's avoiding the cryptic twilight of her stare. "I did want her on the team. I did push that onto you."
There's the aftertaste of shame numbing her tongue as she hears her own words echoed back at her. She wants to swallow them, but finds she can't.
"And I did talk about you." He peers up for this part. "I'm sorry."
Raven keeps looking at him, but doesn't say anything. Garfield tries to work out if her stasis is good or bad. Tries to remind himself she lost a friend too.
His ceaseless thoughts are running out of him, trying to fill the silence like cement in the fissures his errors have made. To shove something that's been dislodged back into place.
"It wasn't... I didn't mean it. It was just talk," he tells her. "I said things about the others too, if..." He winces. "Well, that doesn't make it better." Obviously. It makes it worse. "I just want you to know, I really didn't mean it. You're my friend, and... I'm really sorry."
Raven can see his pain trying to crust over like a scab.
Garfield shifts to survive. Shifts his grief into guilt. She doesn't know yet how he's done this before. Done it with his parents.
She studies him for a moment or two; the refraction in those vitric eyes.
"... Are you okay?"
He's never heard her speak so softly as that. He returns it.
"I will be."
"Okay," she says, because he's grieving.
"Okay," he says back. Then he leaves.
They don't speak about it again.
Why wouldn't Terra want to remember?
Don't you see? She no longer wants to remember you.
.
fallout
.
They send Raven because she'll be able to sense where he is in the tower. It's been almost a day, and it's anyone's guess.
He's in the gym, laying into a punch bag. She enters purposely slowly so he can mark the new presence. That presence hovers in the doorway.
"Cyborg made dinner."
Solid knuckles connect with red padding.
"Thanks. Tell him I'm not hungry."
Her lips press together.
There had been no crying last night. He isn't broken. He isn't angry. The only word she can put to it is… determined.
The pain has dried up, she thinks. Perhaps there's no residue left to wipe from the slate.
He's filled the trenches she left in his soul.
Her fingers curl where they rest at the door frame, and she goes to leave. He notices in the corner of his eye how the movement stops, just before her figure turns again.
"... Did you really see her?" Raven asks, low. He holds his arms still, then lets them drop to his sides as his eyes meet hers.
"Not that anyone believes me, but yeah. I did."
There's a dull quiet. Then, "I believe you."
The words solidify inside him.
"If you say it was her, then I believe you," Raven says. It takes a few long seconds for the familiar smile to settle over his lips.
"I'll be up soon," he assures her. She breathes in and nods.
Tell him you're here for him.
Tell him he can talk to you.
But Raven doesn't. She cannot say why, but the magus can't think of a single thing she'd like to do less than sit and hear Beast Boy talk about Terra.
He has Cyborg for that. He has Starfire for that.
Raven can say this: She is sure in this moment that she wants what Terra wants. What she suspects all of them - even Beast Boy - wants now.
To forget.
I love you.
I love you too...
.
dust
.
Months later, a girl with blonde hair walks past a news stand on her way home.
She's in a bit of a rush. If she's late again, her foster mum and dad will think something happened to her and probably freak. They're still not used to having a teenage daughter. She's still not used to having parents who care.
She isn't sure what makes her slow, but thinks maybe it's the striking awareness of blue and green. They're blots dashed against the front cover, and above them, a headline reads:
CONFIRMED: TITANS DATING
The girl feels her feet bring her closer. A hand moves without her say to take hold of the paper.
Pictured below, Jump's favourite, Beast Boy of the Teen Titans, was spotted yesterday at 5pm on his weekly visit to Hopeful Paws Animal Shelter - but not alone!
Our sources caught two heroes for the price of one as the animal-lover was accompanied by his elusive teammate, Raven. After weeks of speculation in public forums, the two were seen approaching the establishment out of uniform and holding hands, before sharing a quick, affectionate kiss and parting ways.
The Titans have yet to announce their relationship and seem to be keeping things on the down low, but it's safe to say there's another romance blossoming in Titans Tower. Could this be the new RobStar? Watch this space!
The photos are stamped in ink onto the crisp, grey sheet. First, a snap of the well-known heroes walking hand-in-hand, quite clearly through a lens at a distance away; second, the pair stood outside the shelter's entrance, with Raven's arms draped loosely around Gar's neck; and third, a fuzzy capture of a sweet but private kiss.
Terra stares down at the article, and regrets ever telling him: "She said you're like her brother".
She vaguely recalls his reaction. "Heh. Great" - spoken through an odd sort of smile.
Even in just a photo, she can see that this isn't the affection of something brand new. It's something that's been around for a while, that's been well hidden until now.
"You wanna read it, you gotta buy it."
She flinches and looks to the owner of the gruff voice. Her hand gently lowers the paper back to its stand.
"I'm good. Thanks," Terra smiles.
She doesn't want to open the page. She wants to keep it closed, because it's enough.
The fact he's happy, and how that makes her happy too.
Just that is enough, and now she needs to get back home.
Author's Note:
i PROMISE the next thing i post will be chapter 6 of TTTB, it's almost written! i just had to get this out 'cos it's been angst-central in my head lately, idk why.
have to fully credit chapter 12 of 'where i land' by 1UPGirl for inspiring this fic. you'll notice one of the missing scenes is basically my own version of what occurs in that drabble. though there are differences, there are also definitely similarities, and i very much built the rest of this oneshot around that scenario.
hope you enjoyed! :)