Yes, part III. What can I say? Our favorite lovebirds had a lot to process on this trip!
While Teresa and Sam chatted with Daisy the elephant, Pete & Jane had gone for a walk around the grandstand.
"So, Paddy my boy! You got the girl!" Pete chortled
"Yeah," Jane faltered, "I thought I'd lost her, not that long ago, though."
"What happened?"
"Basically I took too long, and she started looking elsewhere - she nearly left town and married someone else!" He said, stricken at the thought of how close they'd actually come to losing each other.
"Wow! A close call for sure! How'd things turn around then?"
"As always, she came to my rescue." He smiled at the truth of that statement. At how many times she'd shown him exactly how important he was to her, despite his best efforts to push her away.
"She had decided to go with him. Then she had some nightmare that included me being killed. That apparently did it. She said she knew clearly in that moment that I was who she wanted to be with every day."
"I still can't believe it sometimes! And to make things worse, I had quit the FBI and run out to California with the Airstream without a word to her (in my defense, I didn't tell her out of concern for her happiness. I didn't want to ruin things if she was going to be truly happy with him)."
"That's true love, honest and real, Paddy!"
"In the end, she traipsed across the country searching for me - to tell me she'd changed her mind. Pete, you wouldn't believe how she found me! It was so obvious then that she knows me so well - better than anyone on Earth! When she told me she loved me for the first time, I completely broke down in tears and nearly crushed her in my arms I was so desperate to hold her. I still can't believe it - she's so out of my league, but she shows me everyday how deeply she really does love me."
He shook his head as Pete shook him by the shoulders.
"Now that is enough of that talk, Patrick Jane! You have always been a stand up human being, despite the hand you were dealt in life! We all saw you stand up to Alex when he'd gone too far, and we all cheered when you & Angie went off to bigger and better things! You deserved happiness then, and you deserve happiness - and the love of that amazing woman - now!"
"Well I did a pretty great job of royally messing up that happiness last time. I can't get rid of the fear that I'll somehow destroy this - destroy her - too!"
"Come sit with me." Pete motioned him over to a picnic table next to the ice cream vendor.
"I have done some extensive reading on that subject, and every source available clearly states that it was an evil maniacal serial killer who did the destroying the first time, not you. Further, all available sources agree wholeheartedly that that same killer is now dead as a doornail. So, with those facts in place, I fail to see any truth to your line of argument, Paddy." Pete ended with his hand on Jane's shoulder, in comfort and consolation. "Go and be happy, my boy! If anyone deserves it, it's you!"
"What if I don't know how to start? I mean, I've definitely made progress, but I'm worried I won't be able to handle how she makes me feel. It's been more than a decade since I've allowed anyone to get this close to me - the real me - and I worry that at some point the love and joy and ecstasy will make me explode like a steam train losing a gasket. And what if she gets blown away by the force of the emotional blast? What if she gets hurt by it somehow - or is terrified by it?"
"Paddy, you said it yourself: that she knows you so well - better than anyone. My guess is that she is more than aware of how long it's been since you've let yourself really feel for another person - or feel from another person. She's been by your side for most of those years, and has seen you lose it over matters far smaller than this, I bet. But she has gotten closer to you - not run farther away - despite that. My guess is that there is no woman in the world more qualified to walk through this change with you than Teresa. I hope and pray you come to your full senses soon, and let her know that in no uncertain terms."
Jane knew Pete was right, but it didn't silence his fears. "How do I even start to show her that?"
"Well, I bet taking off that wedding ring would go a long way. She would notice right away, I'd guess. The impact would take your breath away - and hers too."
Why hadn't he thought of that, over the past few days?! He was so used to wearing it, that he hadn't even remembered it was a thing he could do! He got up, and thanked Pete profusely, before heading to the Airstream, to regroup.
Lisbon had planned to store the program and the album to view later, but she couldn't stand the suspense. She was sitting at the kitchen table, tears rolling down her face in a mixture of amazement, sadness, and amusement - pages open for both books. She found she loved him more intensely with every childhood photo, every glimpse of how he looked at Angela, every seemingly happy family photo, and every cheeky grin. Equally, her heart hurt on sight of the photos where he was smiling on the outside, but being crushed on the inside (the carnival program was particularly heavy on those - especially when his father was nearby). She remembered that Sam had cleared all of this with Patrick, but she still jumped and rushed to close the books when the Airstream door opened.
"Honey, I'm home!" Jane cheekily called out, as he climbed into their temporary residence.
"I like the sound of that!" She purred, moving closer for a kiss.
"What have we here?" He wondered, looking at the kitchen table (and the two books, which had obviously been hastily closed, not too long ago).
"I'm sorry. Sam told me you were okay with me looking through these, so I don't know why I feel so guilty. I really did want us to look through them together, but my curiosity got the better of me and I just couldn't wait." She confessed, with eyebrows bending upward and lips pouting just a little.
"Lisbon, my dear, all is forgiven! I'm glad you had a first look without me, to get your bearings. It will make it easier to go through together, now that you're more familiar with the contents." He smiled and slid in beside her. "Do you want to ask me all of the questions now? Or should we go find some ice cream first?"
"Hmm… tough decision!" She answered honestly. "But let's go with ice cream first - I mean, these photos aren't going to melt, right?" She shrugged with a smile.
"Excellent choice, my dear! Let's go!" He had been considering taking off his ring in her presence, making it into a presentation of sorts, but decided to see if Pete was right - he was indeed curious how long it would take before she noticed - or if she'd pick up on it at all. So, he quickly slipped the ring into a drawer, carefully secured it, then skipped off to get ice cream with Lisbon.
He guided them back to the ice cream stand, and was happy to find the same picnic table he and Pete had been sitting at earlier. It was a warm day, so he opted for a bowl. When Lisbon sat down, holding a giant waffle cone, he was surprised! "Aren't you afraid it will melt faster than you can eat it?" He was amazed at her choice.
"You know that I have a competitive streak, Patrick! I was planning to race the heat & the sun, but I'm happy to race you instead?" Her eyebrows wiggled, as she waited for his answer.
"You're on!" He grinned.
And just like that, the great ice cream eating contest began. She had an early lead - goaded on by the quickly liquifying chocolate ripple in her cone. But he caught up a bit when she struggled to chew through the enormous waffle cone - a huge logistical mistake, she thought, in hindsight! In the end, she did finish her ice cream first, but he finished first overall, since there was no cone to deal with. After a healthy laugh, they both agreed to call it a draw, due to technicalities.
After cleaning up, they walked toward the games alley. As they walked past, Jane laughed at the ridiculously sized prizes - wondering out loud who would want to be saddled with a life sized stuffed gorilla! Lisbon chimed in immediately that she was always so envious - as she had been saddled with keeping her brothers from causing too much trouble - when she'd see girls carrying prizes like that through the fair. Especially when it was clear that the prize had been won by a boyfriend or admirer. "I know it's completely ridiculous, but at the time it seemed like the most romantic thing in the world to me." She admitted.
"Oh really!" Jane had a glint in his eye, as he stepped up to the nearby ring toss game, handing the worker enough cash for several rounds.
"No! Jane! You don't have to -"
"Nonsense, Lisbon! I can do very little to erase pain from your past, but I have the power to make this right - no matter how trivial it may seem to your adult self," he winked, and lined up his first toss.
Teresa shook her head & smiled, resigned to letting him right this terrible wrong from her teen years. She giggled at how chivalrous he'd acted just then, and though she knew he was acting a bit silly for her benefit, she also knew he most likely did want to fix as many of her past hurts as he could. That's what she wished for him, as well. As he collected a full row of small prizes, with plans of trading them in for a gorilla once he collected the required number, he attracted a bit of an audience from passersby. She watched him eyeing each shot with all the bravado of a teenager in love, and couldn't help but admire his charm, his crazy beautiful hair, his every move. She found herself loving him more and more with every careful aim, with every weighing of the ring, with every -
She did a double take when he held up the last ring with both hands, carefully eyeing the target through its center. Her first look had been right - his wedding ring was gone! Did he lose it somewhere at the carnival? She didn't want to think about what that would do to him. Did he take it off for some reason? She desperately tried to remember if he'd had it on his finger when they met up at the Airstream earlier.
Her thoughts were silenced by a loud cheer. Jane had made almost every shot, and had just won the most beautiful hot pink stuffed gorilla she had ever laid eyes on. Jane was typically dramatic in presenting her with her prize, and she held it close in one arm, while holding him with the other. The gathered crowd applauded, as the victor and his queen strode away, heads held high.
As soon as they found some privacy, Lisbon pulled him aside. "I have never felt more ridiculous, but I've also never felt more loved." She smiled fully, and looked intensely into his eyes. "Thank you for this. Not just the long awaited oversized gorilla, but all of it. Sharing your past with me, bringing me into your circle of lifelong friends - your family - all of it has meant more than you know."
"I want to share everything I am with you, Teresa. I'm head over heels for you!" He glimmered.
"And hey," she asked gently, a concerned look on her face, "I noticed at the ring toss that your left hand is missing a wedding ring? Did you lose it somewhere today?"
"Nope," he smiled, "didn't lose it."
Then, with a shrug, he said, "I'm not married!"
She looked at him at first with relief, then with something like bewilderment. Did he really just say that? Had he really stopped wearing Angela's ring?
She gasped at that realization right when he pulled her in close, clinging as if to life itself, speaking his hopes and dreams, through soft whispers in her ear.
"Teresa, it was time. I deserve to move on, and you deserve to know how much I truly love you - how ready I am to move forward - for us. I want this so badly, my love. Nothing from the past - not even the monumental things - should hold us back from belonging fully to one another."
Lisbon felt her knees give out just a little, as her overwhelmed tears flowed onto his shoulder, and her stomach filled with butterflies.
After holding each other for a long while, they sauntered to the Airstream in a daze of joy and with a new depth of connection. The evening ended with hugs, kisses, and a ridiculously huge stuffed gorilla.