When Opportunity Knocks
oOoOo
Margaret, swallow whatever ever is in your mouth. Do not take a sip of water. This is your wet keyboard warning, Babe!
oOoOo
Waiting in her parking lot, I was watching her windows as it became dark, and decided to bide my time. The light went on in her kitchen first, then the bedroom, followed by the bathroom. I was visualising her usual movements as she moved around her apartment. Her routine was much the same each time.
Firstly, she'd come in and take her shoes off and hang her coat. If she had any shopping or take away dinner, she'd put that on the bench and talk to her roommate, the rat … sorry … the rodent … okay Rex, her Attack Hamster. Sharing a treat with him while chatting about her day was the norm. If he was lucky, Rex would get a treat to eat, perhaps some baby carrots, or a grape, or some tasty hamster treats, or even a portion of donut which she might have bought along the way home. Rex was her constant, and her confidante. He was the longest living hamster I ever can recall. For how long do hamsters live, I wondered?
I was distracted as a black SUV approached the parking lot, with only one vacant space available beside the dumpster. Black? Huh. The light pole next to it was leaning at an unusual angle with a visible kink in it. Obviously, someone had reversed into it, probably having forgotten it was there, or just simply over-steered. The light was flickering intermittently, and, as he opened the car door the light popped. He ducked and simultaneously drew his gun as if someone had taken a shot at him, scanning the scene around him in the dim light. His action was fluid but, meh, not slick. The light had popped and was now smoking as it had burned out from a broken connection. His silhouette seemed to relax as he tucked his weapon into the back of his pants, under his chunky jacket, pulling the collar up around his neck. After a quick scan of the parking lot, checking the vehicles, he was satisfied. Before he shut the door, he reached inside for a pizza box and a six pack of beers. Pfft.
I watched as he looked up, checking the lights of her apartment, while he approached the foyer and disappeared inside with a skip in his step. Damnit. I should have made my move already. Part of me was annoyed. Part of me was jealous. Okay, a lot of me was jealous. But truly, a lot of me was pissed off. He's poaching again. He is relentless. Fucker. This should be interesting.
Do I go in and follow him? I wanted to intervene. But, I really wanted to be a fly on the wall. Oh, that would be so priceless. Wait a minute. I made a quick phone call to enquire if the internal cameras were still connected, operational and accessible in her apartment. I quickly explained my concerns and was rewarded with a connection. Yes! He left me to it, after a stern warning. I assured him it was legit and that I wanted him to record the views from each camera. My screen split into three views: the kitchen, her sitting room and the bedroom. I was poised to move in should the need arise. His timing was perfect as I saw the front door open. Damnit. Bastard had a key, or he did some B&E to get in. Asshole.
On my screen I watched as he entered, moving stealthily as he removed his shoes. I watched as he placed the pizza box on the bench and the beers in the fridge. He ignored the rat which was watching him, frantically scratching and clawing at the side of the glass as if to get his attention. I imagined he was telling him off. Rex the Guard Hamster was on duty.
He glanced down her hallway and saw the light on in the bedroom. He slowly made his way there and noticed that she must be in the bathroom. On her bed was a set of lingerie and he fingered them, sniffed them and then replaced them neatly on the bed as they were originally. I was disgusted. There was a vulgar crudeness in his manner.
It was evident that steam was coming from the bathroom. Oh shit! He suddenly yanked his jacket off and the rest of his clothes disappeared very quickly as he flung them haphazardly around her bedroom. That was enough to get me moving. Quickly locking my vehicle, I sprinted inside, flew up the stairs three at a time and had her door unlocked in record time. I made to close the door, only to get resistance. Surprised, glancing quickly over my shoulder, Stephanie was standing behind me with a quizzical expression on her face. Stephanie. Stephanie was standing with me.
Shit. I grinned. Uh oh. I figured who was in the bathroom. This should be good.
I gave her the universal "sh" motion as I showed her the screen, while she closed the door softly. Both her mouth and her eyes popped wide as we saw a very naked hairy ass creep into the steamy bathroom. Stephanie shoved her fist into her mouth as she pointed at the screen, stifling a giggle, only to make a snort.
"Sh!"
Together we moved towards her bedroom and waited in the doorway.
And, on three, two, one … a scream! Followed by a high pitched very hysterical scream.
We grinned. I was bent over, laughing, my hands on my knees, when another hysterical scream came and a very wet Morelli ran out of the steamy bathroom. There he was in his naked glory, wet and wild, with Grandma's bony fingers firmly attached to his manhood! In his haste to escape this nightmare he slipped and hit his head on the door jamb. It didn't go unnoticed that Grandma was also very wet and naked. Oh, my poor brain. My eyes! I don't know what was worse seeing Morelli's hairy ass and his nakedness or Edna, but her bony fingers was the thing of nightmares! Stephanie quickly took out her phone and snapped the compromising scene, maintaining her Grandmother's modesty as she tossed her a robe.
"Well! Ain't that a pip! Thought I had me a live one there. I thought I might get lucky tonight. I'll have to send him some flowers, or something." She chuckled as her dentures danced around her mouth, her mischievous eyes twinkling with delight.
A very dazed Morelli came to, looked around, checking his surroundings. Shock! Fear! Horror! He was aghast at his nakedness and then our laughter, knowing we had witnessed the entire embarrassing scene, well, except for the part inside the steamy shower. Too much information. Don't even want to go there. This is already too much.
He leapt up, scrambling frantically for his strewn clothing and flew out of the bedroom red faced and angry. Tank, Bobby, Lester and Hector were standing there like a guard of honour, also taking pictures as he tried to escape from Stephanie's apartment. As he pulled the door open, still naked, he fell into the arms of his co-workers, Eddie and Big Dog who were shaking their heads. We left them to it as they arrested him for whatever charges, I couldn't care, as Tank firmly closed the door.
"Babe."
Stephanie was speechless. Every time she tried to speak she snort laughed and started laughing all over again, tears streaming down her face. She recovered, breathed deeply for a moment to regain her composure, looked at me with another cleansing breath, but when she tried to make a comment she burst into another fit of giggles.
She looked at Grandma Mazur and asked if she was okay, before she snort laughed again. Everyone was laughing.
"You know. I have to be honest," Edna remarked rather whimsically, thankfully decent and dressed. "I thought, you know, being the Italian Stallion, he would be well hung. Pfft. Italian sausage is so overrated!"
Lester and Bobby guffawed at her matter of fact manner, collapsing onto the couch laughing.
"But, frankly it's a myth. Besides, I know that Ranger is the real deal. Now he is well hung, like a stud! I'll never forget that time I saw him coming out of the shower in Atlantic City."
And she sighed with a mischievous sparkle in her eyes, winking at her granddaughter and at me, reserving a lecherous grin for me.
Four heads whiplashed at me instantly, shit-eating grins on their initially surprised faces.
Meh. It happened, Stephanie knows, she was there and had to remove her Grandmother's intense mesmerised gaze from my manhood by dragging her unwillingly and most reluctantly from our bedroom. I remember her muttering, "Hot damn!" We got over it, but obviously Edna has never forgotten.
"Now that is what dreams are made off. You're a lucky girl, Stephanie," she chuckled. "No wonder you glow after you two get together."
"Grandma!"
"Yes, it's true Stephanie. You know it too." Lester nodded and grinned at us pointing between us. The awesome foursome nodded their heads vigorously in agreement.
I hugged Stephanie and kissed her on the temple.
"I love that I can make you glow … and so much more," I winked at her.
"Now, before we get on with our meeting and moving Edna plan, I think we should watch tonight's live video again."
"HOOAH!"
oOoOo
The End
Especially for my dear friend Ms Margaret. May she rest in Peace. God Bless Her. I'm sure she will be smiling at us. She loved a good Morelli smack down/stuff up.
Sorry, not sorry. Perhaps I should have put a no drinking warning. I did try to warn you, well, for Margaret I did. Love her to bits.
Characters you recognise are hers, JE, mistakes are mine.
Thank you, Lynda for the challenge.