A very, very big thank you to the alpha reader and drunkle of most of my fics, SupremelyCaffeinatedPhantasm for their IMMENSE help with this fic! Truth be told they didn't fully beta read this fic because we had some problems communicating, but he's been here throughout pretty much the entire planning process, letting me bounce ideas off him and offering up their own. They've been positively invaluable, so please check out his stuff as a thank you!
Drunkle SCP says: "Don't forget to stop and eat the roses."
The worst thing about middle school, they've decided, is no recess. They have lunch, sure, and the playground is right there, but it isn't the same. It's the principle of the matter, and the principle of the matter is they are now deprived of two times a day to goof off, play sports, or otherwise spend their time as they wish.
That said… they still have lunch. And the teachers put out balls for them to play with. It isn't as bad as it could be.
At least until they turn around with a basketball to see MK, Snowdrake, and Jockington looking at them with uncertainty.
MK is the first to speak. "Hey, uh… Kris? We were talking, and, uh…"
A pause. A pause in which they stand there, smile frozen on their face, and feel dread settle in their stomach.
Jockington is the next one to speak, slithering forward. He's the only one of the three that manages to look them in the eye. "I-It's kinda, getting unfair, when, you play with us. It's nothing, against you, but just… we can't, keep up even, with, enhancement magic. You're faster than, us, you're stronger, than us, and you react, so quick, that, we can't do, anything. So…"
He trails off and lets the rest of his sentence hang unspoken in the air. All they can do is stare at them, feeling all their organs drop to their feet and then even further. Like someone cut them open and emptied them out.
"Sure." Their voice is airy and so carefully understanding that it borders on blank, even to their own ears. "I get it."
They pass the ball to MK without looking, putting a little more force into it than necessary. They catch it with sway magic, bright orange light dancing around it, and they feel their eyes begin to burn.
They make an attempt to say something else, but the words get caught in their throat. Instead they just nod, make a vague sort of waving motion with their hand, and turn on their heel and walk away.
As they do, they feel their eyes begin to burn more and more, and they break into a sprint. The last thing they need is for them to see them crying. That'd be the ultimate cherry on top of this whole situation.
They don't understand. They never made a big deal when MK or Jockington reached too far with their sway magic. They never made a big deal when Snowdrake used it to pull the ball out of their hands. They never made a big deal when they all used it to guide the ball into the goal.
It was just another challenge. Something they had to play around. Even if it was technically cheating and unfair, they didn't complain. They didn't ask them to stop. They didn't say they couldn't play with them anymore.
It isn't bad enough that they can't join any of the school's teams, no. No, now they can't even play for fun either. It isn't fair. They didn't ask to be the only human in a town full of monsters, so why are they getting punished for that?
They only begin to cry in earnest once they round the corner of the school and are finally hidden from view of the playground and field. They stumble a few more steps before leaning against the wall and sliding to the ground, burying their head in their arms.
When they hear the crunch of footsteps in the dirt, they get halfway to their feet, hurriedly wiping away their tears, before they see that it's Noelle.
They sit back down with a sigh. They should've known. Going by how her hands are knotted in her skirt and how she's worrying her lip, she probably saw the whole thing.
She sits down beside them without a word, putting her arm around their shoulders and pulling them close. They let her, glad to rest their head on her shoulder and press up against her side. The feeling of her body, right there next to theirs, wrapped around them, makes it all feel a little less painful. It loosens the knot in their chest, and while the tears come pouring out even faster, it feels like they can breathe easier.
Eventually, they manage to choke out, "I-It's not f-fair."
They feel Noelle nod against the top of their head. "I know. But… it's only until we're older, you know? Once we're in high school or something, and their enhancement magic can keep up with you, I'm… I'm sure they'll play with you again."
Instead of feeling soothed by her words, they feel a burst of anger in their chest. It pulses hot and heavy through their whole body, and they grit their teeth, pulling away to look her in the eyes.
"W-When they can be better than me, you mean?!" They try but fail to keep their tone from sounding accusatory. "I-It isn't about it being unfair for me to play with them, i-it's about them not winning."
She frowns at them, though, brow furrowing in worry. "C-Come on, Kris. You know that's not true."
When they just scoff and look away, she reaches out to turn their head back towards her. "T-They lost to you all the time when we were younger, right? But they still played with you. I-It's just… they don't even have a chance, now."
They try to glare at her, but the anger in their chest is quickly fading. Once it flickers out entirely they breathe out a sigh and collapse against her side again, sniffling.
"I-It's still not f-fair." They hate how childishly petulant they sound, mumbling that while cuddled up to her. "I… I-I can't just… go and find some other h-humans to play with. I-It's them or…. o-or n-no-one."
They don't know that for a fact, but they feel like it's true. If Jockington, the most laid-back person in their class, doesn't feel like it's fair to play against them, then what are the odds anyone else would? They could go around to all the other classes and ask to play, but all they'll see is the weird human kid from the class over.
For a moment, they don't think Noelle will reply. But then she says, very hesitantly, "What about… what about me? You can, um… teach me to play, maybe?"
They freeze, not sure they heard that right. Then they pull away once more, looking at her as they sniff and wipe a tear away. "R-Really?"
She nods emphatically. "Really! Um… as long as you go easy on me, that is."
They grin at her as they hop up, dragging her to her feel as well. "O-Of course I will! Come on, let's go play right now!"
She giggles as they drag her behind her, making a B-line for the basketball court.
As they do, they can't help the bright smile on their face.
Noelle is the best.
"Hey, Noelle, what is this stuff?" they ask, brushing their fingers over the white, kind of fuzzy branches growing in Holiday's kitchen window planter. Noelle perks up from where she's grabbing snacks and looks over.
"Oh!" she says happily. "That's reindeer moss! My mom puts it in our oatmeal and stuff."
They hum thoughtfully, staring with narrowed eyes at the strange plant. "What does it taste like?"
Noelle also hums thoughtfully. "Kind of... sour and bitter? It tastes good mixed with stuff but dad and Dess like to eat it raw." There's a pause as they continue to stare suspiciously at the reindeer moss, and then she hesitantly adds, "Do you… want to try some?"
They whip around to look at her with a bright smile. "Can I?!"
"I think so?" she says, walking over to stare at the moss as well. "Mom's never said humans can't eat it. As long as we wash it, I think it should be fine."
"Yes!" they say happily, and Noelle smiles back at them as she plucks a bit of moss out of the planter.
They wash it thoroughly and when they eat it, they find that Noelle was telling the truth. It's bitter and sour. Really bitter and sour.
But… they don't hate it.
"Can I have more?" they ask, and Noelle looks surprised before smiling and nodding.
"Sure!" she chirps, hurrying over to the planter to grab more.
They have... a lot more. Not enough to make a dent in the overwhelming white branchy fluff filling the planter, but enough that they feel pretty full after. They can still down some juice and chips as they compete against Noelle in Super Smashing Fighters, though.
At least until they start to feel… bad. A queasy feeling begins to squirm in their stomach after about half an hour, though it quickly ramps up into outright nausea. And then worse. Painful jolts stab through their abdomen as their stomach seems to rebel against them. They can almost feel something pressing at the back of their throat.
They make a sprint for the bathroom and only barely manage to slide into place in front of the toilet before the first retch comes. It's a dry heave, but the next one isn't.
Boy, is it not.
Their whole body lurches into the motion as it feels like they throw up their entire stomach, the organ itself included. But then they heave again and even more comes up. Chips that are somehow grosser since they're freshly chewed instead of half digested, and then orange juice that burns particularly bad as it comes up. And then they keep heaving until the reindeer moss comes up, soggy and white and scorching with the acidic burn it leaves.
They barely notice Noelle crying and talking to them, nor do they really notice when she runs away. They do notice when she comes back with Aunt Carol, who looks very worried.
"What happened?" she asks Noelle as she kneels beside them, rubbing their back as they dry heave violently.
"I-I-I d-d-don't kn-know!" sobs Noelle, repeatedly swiping new tears off her face.
Aunt Carol sighs imperceptibly. "What did they have to eat, Noelle?"
Noelle's sobs don't cease, but she at least manages to answer, "O-O-Orange j-juice, a-a-and ch-chips, a-and s-some m-moss!"
Aunt Carol's ears twitch sharply up into an alert position as her head whips around to stare at Noelle. "Do you mean the reindeer moss in the planter?"
Noelle seems to realize that she did something wrong by letting them eat said moss, and her sobs reach an almost piercing crescendo even as she nods. "I-I-I'm s-so-sorry!"
Aunt Carol sighs again, though it's more relieved than anything else.
"It's okay," she says, holding out her free arm. Noelle throws herself into the embrace, still sobbing. "Once they get it out of their system, Kris will be fine. It's just that reindeer moss can make humans sick like this if it isn't prepared properly." With a wry smile, she adds, "I hope you two will learn to ask from now on whether something we have is safe for humans to eat?"
Noelle is able to nod as an answer while their next retch serves as theirs.
Once they're done vomiting, Aunt Carol sets them on the couch and calls their parents. By the time they arrive, they're feeling better. Good enough to continue hanging out with Noelle, at least, but their parents feel differently.
It's only when even Noelle says to them, stamping her foot, "Go home and get better, Kris!" that they let dad pick them up and take them back home. Mom has them rest in bed for the rest of the day, which isn't so bad. Despite their bluster, a slight nausea and feverish shakiness hangs around until they go to bed that night and wake up in the morning.
The next time they spend the night at the Holiday's house, Aunt Carol makes some of her reindeer moss oatmeal for them, and it does taste way better than it did raw. It adds a kind of tangy, bitter hint to the sweetness of the oatmeal.
It opens up a whole new world for them, honestly. They spend hours researching which mosses are safe for them to eat (and find that Noelle lied to them, reindeer moss isn't a moss, it's a lichen, whatever that means) and don't get a lot of concrete answers. They mostly find that most edible 'mosses' aren't mosses at all, but that's okay.
They come away from their research with renewed purpose. A new frontier of food awaits them.
They have some taste testing to do.
Noelle is sick. Really sick. As in 'stay at home in bed for at least a week' sick.
She has the mera, which is like the flu for monsters, but it's apparently way worse and way more contagious than the flu. Because of that, Aunt Carol and Uncle Rudy aren't letting anyone except Dess see her, and that's only if she takes magical supplements. Even when Azzy said he'd take supplements too, they shot him down. They said that they're only letting Dess see her because she's living in the same house, so the risk is pretty much the same whether or not she actually sees Noelle.
And the worst part of it all?
Christmas is in just twelve days. Never mind that she'll be losing out on the last days of school before the break, which is sure to stress her out, but if she isn't better before Christmas… no Christmas brunch, no Christmas day, no Christmas dinner. And almost half of her break gone, spent sick and miserable in her room.
But that's okay, since they're human. They can't get the mera. They are immune to Noelle's bad magical traces.
And their name… is Kris .
They adjust their beard and hat one final time as they hide outside Noelle's bedroom door, resisting the urge to peak in.
Instead, they listen as Uncle Rudy says, "I know this whole thing is pretty unfair to you, honey. Believe me, if your mom and I could make you better like that, " they hear him snap his fingers, "we would in a heartbeat! But we can't. We just have to hope you get better in time for Christmas."
"I-I know," says Noelle quietly, and they wince at how hoarse her voice sounds.
"That said, " Aunt Carol says leadingly, and they grin at the sheer slyness in her tone, "you talk every year about how you wish Christmas could come early. Unfortunately, that's impossible but…"
Dess is next, and they can hear the grin in her voice as she says, "Krismas with a K, on the other hand? That's… "
They (lightly) kick in the door to Noelle's room and jump inside, holding her present above their head. "Right here when you need them!"
Then they lay eyes on her, and they have to fight to keep the smile on their face.
She looks worse than they thought she would. Her eyes are bloodshot and her nose and upper lip have been rubbed pale by numerous tissues. From how she slouches against them, they're pretty sure the mound of pillows behind her is the only thing keeping her upright. An obvious puke bucket sits right next to her bed in easy reach. A hoard of different pill bottles, liquid medicines, cold pads, and various other medical resources cover her bedside tables.
From what Aunt Carol said, the mera causes headaches, fevers, runny noses, intense coughing, nausea, vomiting, and weakness in the limbs. They can definitely see evidence of all that on display here.
"K-Kris?" says Noelle, looking utterly surprised to see them. They manage to hold back their wince at her hoarse voice this time, and then again when she immediately launches into a coughing fit. They can hear how badly it's rattling her chest and throat, and they feel an intense pang of sympathy for her.
They immediately pad over to her bed, climbing up onto the foot of it as Dess rolls over to make room for them.
"Since I'm human, you can't get me sick!" they say happily as soon as Noelle is done coughing. "That means I can hang out with you while you get better! And we thought you might need something to cheer you up, so here!"
They hold the present out to her, and she takes it with uncertain hands. "Christmas can't come early, but Krismas with a K can! And Krismas means presents! Or… just a present, I guess."
"Didn't want to spoil Christmas with a C-H," says Uncle Rudy with a grin, ruffling her hair.
Noelle looks up at him uncertainly, then down at the present, and then up at Aunt Carol. They get it. Getting a Christmas present before Christmas? It's unheard of in their house. Christmas is sacred, and so are Christmas presents. But this is a special situation, so it's okay.
"Go ahead, darling," says Aunt Carol with a smile, taking the present from them and setting it in her lap.
That seems like enough for Noelle, and she almost reverently begins peeling away the wrapping paper. They lean forward to look as well since Uncle Rudy and Aunt Carol hadn't told them what the present was either. Dess joins them, and the two of them watch with bated breath as Noelle peels back the layers of wrapping paper.
And then all three of them gasp as she reveals the box of a new handheld game console.
One that released just last month.
Noelle's excited gasping triggers another coughing fit, though, and they quickly scoot forward worriedly as Aunt Carol pats her back. Dess, on the other hand, blurts out, "No fair!" while looking at Uncle Rudy.
He grins and raises an eyebrow. "Go check under your bed."
Her mouth falls open, and then she grins as she all but launches herself off of Noelle's bed and races out of the room. "No fricking way!"
"Language!" calls out Aunt Carol, and there's a muted apology that has her smiling ruefully. Then she notices both Noelle and them looking at her questioningly, and she reaches over to pull the console box out of the wrapping paper, revealing two game cases underneath for it. "We thought it would be nice if the two of you could play together while you're sick, so she's also getting hers early."
As if on cue, a muted but still incredibly loud, "WHOOHOO, YEEEEEAAAAAH! " from Dess rings out, and this time they're the one coughing as they choke on their spit.
"Don't get too attached yet, darling," says Aunt Carol after they, Noelle, and Uncle Rudy all stop laughing (and after Noelle stops coughing). "Kris will also be bringing you the rest of your schoolwork for the week, and I expect you to have it done by the end of winter break."
Noelle is probably the only person they know that would look relieved instead of disappointed at that. But that's just how she is, so they drag the binder of schoolwork out from their Santa coat and hand it to her.
"I even took notes for you!" they chirp with a grin. "They weren't very good though, so my mom redid them."
That drags a giggle out of her, and they're glad a coughing fit doesn't follow.
Of course, even after Dess barges in again and immediately demands they play on their new consoles, Noelle chooses to get her schoolwork out of the way first. It's the smart choice, really, and Aunt Carol scoots over so they can sit by her and help her, but they still can't help but feel bad. Every other minute or so she erupts into coughs, or has to blow her nose, or holds her head with a groan, or displays some other indicator of being absolutely miserable. The fact she has to think her way through schoolwork is the almost insultingly cruel cherry on top.
They know that if it were them, they'd wait until they were at least better to do their schoolwork. But Noelle is Noelle, and Noelle wants to get it done as soon as possible, so they have no choice but to help.
All in all, though, they get through it quickly. They learned it in class, they have their mom's notes, and Uncle Rudy, Aunt Carol, and Dess are there to help her too. They make quick work of it, and soon enough they're peering over Noelle's shoulder as she plays some fighting game with Dess on their new consoles.
Honestly they're not super duper interested in it. They mostly just keep an eye on Noelle, counting her coughs, her sniffles, how many times she blows her nose, how hot her body feels against them… they feel like one of those dogs that can apparently smell cancer Dess talked about. Constantly searching and double-checking for anything wrong. Or in this case, wrong er.
Which is why when Noelle's mouth snaps shut in a thin line and her eyes widen, they're the first to throw themself across Aunt Carol's lap and snatch up the puke bucket. They shove it into Noelle's arms, accidentally knocking her new game console across her bed. They can't feel too bad though when Noelle upends the contents of her stomach into the bucket instead of across her comforter.
They reach up to pull her hair away from her face as Uncle Rudy and Aunt Carol pat her back. Dess' face twists in disgust at her repeated retching and the sound of vomit hitting plastic, but she holds back from saying anything.
After Noelle is done, she's washed out her mouth, and the puke bucket has been emptied, she just lies in bed trying to sleep. They curl up next to her for lack of anything better to do. Aunt Carol curls up around them, brushing one hand over their hair and the other over Noelle's, while Uncle Rudy does the same opposite her. Dess lays at the foot of the bed, sprawled out in an obvious attempt to seem bored, but her eyes are locked on Noelle and filled with worry just like her parents.
She falls asleep quickly, and she stays asleep through the rest of the afternoon and even after they head home.
The next two days they come over after school, give Noelle her classwork, help her through it, and then hang out with her for the rest of the afternoon before heading home for dinner. Then Friday comes and they convince their parents to let them stay the night over at the Holiday's, which ends with them curled up with Noelle in her bed again. It isn't particularly new for them, they've slept in the same bed as her a bunch of times, but this time they stay up far longer than her. Watching for any changes.
It's also a bit strange to have the rest of the Holiday's there too. Noelle and them had fallen asleep with Dess and Azzy a bunch of times staying up late playing games or watching movies, but this is different. Even when Noelle drifts off into fitful sleep, and Uncle Rudy and Dess follow soon after, there's a tenseness in the air that sets them on edge. The room is painted in cold, pale light reflected from the snow outside, and Noelle looks more like a spirit than a person.
"She'll be okay, sweetheart," whispers Aunt Carol in their ear, causing them to jump a bit. They can see her hand reach past them to brush a lock of Noelle's hair behind her ear, her fingers lingering on her cheek. "She's strong."
They wait for her to elaborate, but she doesn't. She just kisses the back of their head, pulls the covers over them a bit more, and murmurs, "Get some sleep."
Soon they hear her own breathing even off into that of sleep, but they continue to stay awake, watching Noelle. The fur on her forehead is slightly damp with sweat, face flushed green with her fever. One of her hands is clasped in theirs, slick with even more sweat. They can hear the slight rattle of her lungs as she breathes in and out. Her eyes are squeezed tightly shut, and every so often her face and hands will twitch with pain.
And every single time, their heart skips a beat in fear. Their entire body twitches, ready to leap up and grab for the puke bucket, or her medicine, or her water, or whatever she needs. A jittery energy that begs them to do something, anything , fills them. But this is all they can do. Stay beside her, watch over her, and be ready to help any way she needs them to.
They lean forward to kiss her forehead before pressing their own to it. As if they could pull the sickness out of her and into themself just by the contact.
They can't, of course, as much as they wish they could. But the contact is comforting. This close they can feel every twitch from her and her breath on their face. While that nervous energy and fear still rests in their chest, this close to her, they're certain that if anything goes wrong, they'll wake up right away.
So with a sigh, they snuggle closer to her, let their eyes flutter shut, and try to sleep.
"…Kris?"
"Yeah?"
"What, um… what're you doing?"
"Sitting. What does it look like?"
"Yeah, but… why are you, uh… sitting like that?"
"Like how?"
"Like… like that!" says Noelle finally, gesturing vaguely at their body.
"Oh," they say, looking down at their squatting position. "Yes, well, I was reading about reindeer-"
"Oh boy."
"-and I found out that caribou and reindeer are actually the same animal," they continue, even as she facepalms and groans quietly to herself. "We just call them caribou here in America and they call them reindeer over in Europe. And I found something else interesting. Do you know what country holds the vast majority of their natural range?"
It takes her a moment to peek through her fingers at them. After a moment, she sighs heavily, and it rings with resignation. "I dunno, Kris. Which one?"
They grin at her. "Russia."
"Ooooohhhhh," she groans immediately, throwing her head back, "Kris, no, please-!"
"And I realized that I've been a pretty bad friend-"
"Please, no, Kris-"
"-I've done nothing to learn about your culture-"
"-Kriiiiiiiiiis!"
"-and I've decided to rectify that!" they say proudly, gesturing at their slav squat. "You have my word, Noelle, I'll do my best to make you feel at home with your Russian heritage!"
"I will kill you," she says, glaring at them, and her hands flex. There's no doubt in their mind she's imagining them around their throat.
They know it's an empty threat, though, and they continue to grin at her. "You don't need to be embarrassed, Noelle."
"No, I don't, actually," she says, and her tone is hilariously hysterical, "which makes me wonder why you've decided to embarrass me!"
When they just continue to grin at her, she groans and walks away.
It takes only a few days to enter Phase Two of their plan.
"Noelle," they say carefully at lunch, sidling up next to her, "I know I said I'd make you feel at home with your Russian heritage-"
"Kris, I swear to the Angel-"
"-but this is going a little too far," they continue, picking up her water bottle. They lean in conspiratorially, shaking it around. "Sneaking vodka into school? Really?"
The look she gives them is murderous.
"I could choke the life out of you and feel nothing but relief and ecstasy." Her tone screams that she's dead inside, which just makes them grin harder.
"Kinky."
Her expression doesn't change at all.
"Oh, there's going to be a lot more wrong with your neck than just a kink when I'm through with it."
They cackle loudly and with a swipe she takes her water bottle back.
Phase Three is several days later.
In math class.
"In Soviet Russia," they say with the thickest Russian accent they can manage, and Noelle snaps her pencil in half, "zero divides by you."
"That doesn't even make any sense!" she hisses at them, and they can tell she's considering putting both newly created halves of her pencil through their eyes.
"In Soviet Russia, sense makes you!"
"I will snap your spine and paralyze you."
That weekend she invites them over to study. Poor idea on her part, really, but they aren't complaining.
"Mind if I use your computer to play some music?" they ask, and she's too engrossed in her English homework to think through her affirmative nod.
It's only when the first few notes start up that her head whips towards them, and she sees them grinning at her.
"I've been practicing something," they say, and her eyes widen.
"Kris, no," she says, hurriedly scrambling up as the notes begin to ramp up into something… quick. Something… bouncy.
"Noelle," they say, folding their arm and dropping into a very low position.
"NO!" she screams, and they shuffle to block her from her computer as the clapping starts up from the speakers.
"I have learned the dance of your people!"
"NOOOOOOOOO-!"
She gets them back the next week by telling Berdly their full first name is Kristofferson. It spawns a whole slew of questions from everyone else about why they never told them they were Norwegian or Swedish or Finnish or whatever. If they were descended from Vikings. If they drank mead. Would they go to Valhalla after they die, and if so, would they have to die in battle to do so.
The worst part is that they can only do so much to clear up the confusion. Berdly staunchly refuses to believe them, thinking it's some ploy or prank on their part. They spend a half an hour trying to convince him to no avail. And all the while they see Noelle smirking at them over his shoulder.
Touché.
"What do you want to do when you grow up?"
They pause, mouth full of smoke, and quirk an eyebrow up at Noelle. She isn't looking down at them, though, instead staring off into space with glazed over eyes.
When she doesn't elaborate, they swallow their unformed smoke ring and reach up to cup her cheek. "Where's this coming from?"
She leans into their touch, letting her eyes flutter shut. They accordingly brush their thumb across her fur, and she sighs quietly.
"My mom talked to me about college," she says after a moment, voice strained with stress. "She says it's time to start thinking about what I want to do when I'm older. What degrees I'll need. What colleges I want to get them at."
They consider that for a second.
"It's a bit early, isn't it?" They're not even out of middle school, after all.
Dess and Azzy, they understand. They're halfway through high school. Azzy's been looking at scholarships for a while. But Noelle and them? They can't imagine there's much they can do this early in their lives to realistically start preparing for any of that. They have a full year left of middle school they haven't even started on, after all.
"She said that it's never too early to start thinking about my future." Her words have a distinct by-wrote quality to them. There's no doubt in their mind that those were her mom's near exact words.
"That's… decent advice, I guess?" they reply delicately. "Going by your tone, though, I assume it didn't help?"
"It didn't not help," she says, and her carefully blank tone finally breaks down. She sighs gustily, and her fingers begin carding through their hair with a bit more urgency. "I know that whatever I do, I'll probably have to find a school that gives out degrees in that. Preferably somewhere in-state, so we don't have to pay extra tuition and I'll still be close to home. That means I need to start looking at schools and their courses, decide which ones I want to take, then… dorms, tuition, scholarships…"
She trails off, eyes glazing over again. After a second they catch the hand carding through their hair and pull it down to their lips so they can press a kiss to her palm. It's enough to get her to focus back on them, and they smile up at her.
"I can't help but notice," they begin, keeping their tone teasing and light, "that that's a whole lot of the how , but not the what ."
She huffs a quiet laugh, smiling back at them.
"That's the problem," she sighs, and her smile quickly falls away again. "Azzy and Dess are so sure about what they're going to do. Azzy's going to go to the Ebott Institute of Technology on a full-ride scholarship and get a masters in aerospace engineering, and then he's going to go work for NASA. Dess is going to work after high school and save up enough to move to Ebott City. At the same time she'll work on producing music online until she can get picked up by a record label or just… support herself on her own. They…"
She pauses, sighs again, and shakes her head. "They're so… sure of what they're going to do, you know? And I just… I don't know. Some days I want to be a game designer, and some days I want to be a doctor, o-or help run my dad's company, or…" Yet another sigh before she looks down at them. "I guess that's why I asked what you want to do when you're grown up. I, um… I wanted to know if someone my age was as certain as them, or… or if you're like me, and you don't know."
"Ah," they say, nodding. "That makes sense."
Several seconds pass in silence. And then several more. And then Noelle laughs, saying, "Well?"
They laugh as well and pinch her cheek, keeping their touch playfully gentle. "I'm thinking."
"I don't know if that's a good or a bad sign."
They laugh and pinch her cheek again before they drop their hand. Then they sigh and shake their head slightly. "Fine. I think, when I grow up, I want to…"
Marry you, they think, but they clamp down on the words. That's too much, too soon, even for them.
Instead, they just say, "I'd like to do something with sewing or embroidery, I think, like making custom clothes or dolls. Maybe some sort of piano business on the side…? I guess it would be good to get some sort of business degree for all that, but I could also maybe do what Dess is planning. Go to work after high school and try out stuff online in my spare time. Going to college like Azzy would be nice, but I don't know if my family'll have the money for that."
They pause, thinking, and they decide to be a bit brazen. "After all that, though… I think I want to settle down. Start a family."
They specifically don't say 'with someone.' While they aren't brave enough or stupid enough to say they want to marry her specifically, the last thing they want Noelle to think is that they don't.
It definitely works a bit too well. Maybe it's the way they're holding her hand, or resting their head in her lap, or looking up at her, but they're pretty sure her mind jumps to the same place theirs is. A light dusting of green covers her cheeks, and she seems suddenly unable to meet their eyes. It's capped off by her mumbling to herself, "(Do they mean…?)"
Then everything they said seems to click in her head, and her blush fades as she purses her lips tight.
"So I guess you do know what you want to do." Her voice is soft and once again restrained, and they feel their heart twinge at it. It's the tone she uses when she's trying to hide how bad she's feeling from them.
"For now. I'll probably change my mind once we're in high school, and then probably change it again later." They try to keep their tone light and teasing, to raise her spirits, but she just nods solemnly without looking at them.
So with a sigh they lift themself out of her lap and turn around to face her. They tuck a lock of hair behind her ear and then cup her cheeks. At the same time, they press a quick, chaste kiss to her lips, and when they pull back, she's looking at them with clear eyes.
"We're not even in high school, Noelle." They keep their tone as gentle and reassuring as they possibly can. "You don't have to plan out your whole life right now. You know you want to go to college and get a degree. That's enough for now. You know how to get that. You get good grades, you do extracurriculars, you keep an eye out for scholarships and look at the schools you want to go to. And in the meanwhile, you can think about what you want to do. What jobs you want, what exact degrees you'll need… you have years to do that. I'm sure your mom didn't want an answer. She just wanted you to start thinking about the question. You're fine, Noelle. You don't have to agonize over it."
Then with a soft smile, they kiss her again. They linger this time, letting her dictate the pace, and the pace she chooses is slow but long. She holds them there for a while, hands resting ever so gently on their shoulders, and they let themself melt against her. Their lips and tongues brush against each other softly, tentatively, focused more on savoring the touches and being close to each other than any heated passion.
When they finally pull apart, she has a smile back on her face. They smile back at her, probably a bit stupidly, and she giggles softly before leaning forward to press a kiss to their cheek. Then she folds her arms around them, pulling them close, and they bury their face in her hair, breathing in the flowery, peppermint scent of it.
"Thanks, Kris," she whispers into their ear, and they squeeze her a bit tighter.
"Anytime"
They stay like that, for a while. Then their mind starts doing its thing, and they grin into their hair.
"I wouldn't mind if you chose to be something like a surgeon or something, you know. Something classy. High paying, preferably. Just so I can mooch off you when the embroidery stuff doesn't work out."
She shoves them away and they land on their back in the grass, cackling. After a second, she joins in, her peals of laughter filling the warm summer air.
Valentine's Day is one of their favorite holidays. Well, it was, back when it was required for everyone in their class to give everyone else some kind of gift. That usually meant they got a good amount of chocolate. Now they're in middle school, though, and that isn't done anymore.
It's not like they've ever let school mandated policies or the lack thereof ever dictate their life before though, so they continued the tradition themself. They bring a bag of chocolate kisses and give a few to everyone in their class, along with Dess and Azzy, but that's just being nice. They don't do it in the spirit of the holiday, which is to be romantic. And while they've been given chocolates a few times and even been confessed to, it was never from anyone they were actually interested in, let alone already in a relationship with.
That was then, though. This is now.
And now, they do have someone. A very special someone. The most special of special someones.
Their girlfriend.
Noelle Holiday.
Accordingly, they've spent months planning this day. They've been practicing making their chosen selection of treats as much as they can without it being suspicious. They've rehearsed what they're going to say, going so far as to write it down and test themself on it with flashcards like they're studying for a test. They've been training. They've planned it out as perfectly as they can. They even subtly probed both of their families for information on what they're doing today so they don't have any nasty surprises.
They have planned it out to perfection.
And they are terrified.
They shouldn't be, realistically speaking. Noelle hasn't given any indication that there's anything wrong between them. She's seemed pretty dang happy, actually, which is great. It's exactly what they want, for her to be happy. But they've learned very well that life has a nasty habit of turning their entire worldview on its head at the drop of a hat. For all they know, something horrible could happen. This could all go terribly, terribly wrong. They're not omniscient, so they can't know for sure.
They're not a wuss either though, so they're doing this.
"Meet me at our spot at the lake after school?" they tell Noelle when they see her first thing in the morning, managing to keep their easy grin from curdling with anxiety. They also keep their voice quiet enough that Dess and Azzy can't hear them from where they're walking ahead.
Noelle stares at them for a moment, confusion in her eyes. Then she seems to register what day it is, and every strand of fur on her body stands on end like they gave her an electric shock. "Oh! Yes, um… a-absolutely!"
They grin at her, quickly brushing their hand against hers.
Step one: complete.
Step two: make it through the school day without spontaneously combusting and/or the universe collapsing in on itself.
Easy.
It is, actually. They pass out their chocolate kisses like always, and they make sure Noelle gets some as well just so they don't seem suspicious. Her blush is exactly that, of course, but there isn't much they can do about it other than enjoy the view.
But aside from that, it all goes well, and they can't even be mad about her blushing since it's so cute.
Then the bell rings, which means step two is complete, and they're on to step three: race home and grab their gift for her.
"See you guys later!" they say to Dess and Azzy, throwing a wink to Noelle before they race away.
"Wh-?!" says Dess very eloquently to their quickly retreating back.
Azzy follows it up with an even more eloquent, "Kris?!"
"Later!" they say again, throwing up a quick wave as they round the corner.
They had considered coming up with some sort of excuse, but they realized that this is by far the better plan. No sticky lies to get caught in later, no story to remember, just a bit of weirdness that's perfectly on brand.
This way they can also avoid any awkward questions from their family. Azzy is behind them, and mom and dad are still at work, so it's free reign of the house for them. At least for long enough that they can grab the bag of chocolates they stashed at the back of one of the kitchen cupboards and Noelle's gift from their bedside table. Then it's right back out the door, sprinting down the road towards the lake and around the shore to their spot.
Then it's just a waiting game, and they aren't kept waiting long. Noelle arrives only a few minutes after they do, looking a tiny bit harried.
"Y-You could have given me a bit more of a heads-up, you know?" she says with the cutest scowl, glaring at them. "I had to come up with an excuse for Dess and Azzy on the spot."
"I had faith," they say simply, smiling at her. She blushes, but they can tell by the twitch of her lips that she's mollified.
A moment passes between them, and they see her eyes drop down to the bright red, heart-patterned bags in their hand. Before they can offer them to her, though, she suddenly thrusts a glimmering golden box out to them, blushing up a storm.
"H-Happy Valentine's Day!" she exclaims loudly, and they gape at her. She doesn't see since she has her eyes squeezed shut and her head lowered, as if bracing for the possibility they'll reject her.
They don't, of course. They take the box eagerly, and their mouth drops open a bit at the name on the front. It's the same brand that Uncle Rudy and Aunt Carol get each other for Valentine's Day, though the package is smaller and a bit less fancy.
"I-I, um… used that new, uh, card my parents got me," she says after a moment, and they look up to see her watching them nervously, fingers fiddling with the hem of her sweater. "And I, uh… w-well obviously I couldn't get the, um, biggest box like my parents do, since that's really expensive, but, um, I-I got the biggest I could! It has white, milk, and dark chocolate, plus, um, a bunch of different fillings, a-and ones with nuts mixed in, and, um-!"
"I love it," they say, cutting her off. She shuts her mouth with a squeak, and they can't help but laugh a bit. "Of course I love it, Noelle."
She stares at them for a moment before laughing herself and rolling her eyes. "O-Of course. You love chocolate more than anything else."
"No," they say firmly, stepping close to her, and she squeaks again as they lean in with a smile. "It's not that. I would have loved anything you gave me because you gave it to me."
They wait a moment, just until they see her relax as she processes their words, and then they lean in to kiss her on the lips gently.
Then they pull back, because they have a schedule to keep.
Even despite the guilt and shame now wriggling in their stomach, because her gift made them realize something: she could buy better versions of their gifts. Infinitely better versions, any day of the week, and it probably wouldn't even put a dent in her bank account. They suddenly feel cheap despite the fact they don't have a lot of money nor many ways to get more. Already they're doing just about everything they can, and yet…
And yet, their gifts seem paltry, especially when compared to hers.
But something is better than nothing, so they force a bright smile and prepare themself for the worst.
"Here," they say, offering her the far larger of the two bags they're holding. "My mother's Winter Wonderland Peppermint Bark Marshmallow Fudge squares, plus some spicy dark chocolate I came up with myself, plus some milk chocolate peanut butter cookies."
Noelle stares at the bag for a moment, and then she opens it with a slack jawed look on her face. Then she snorts and laughs loudly, looking up at them with a grin. "No half-measures with you, huh, Merry Krismas?"
"Never," they say, grinning back at her, even as their stomach twists with nervousness. "It's not in my nature. Besides, you… deserve only the best."
She blushes at that, quickly leaning in to press a kiss to their cheek. "T-Thank you, Kris."
They can't help but blush themselves at the gentle look of adoration in her eyes.
To cover it up, they offer the other bag to her. "There's this too," they say by way of explanation.
She takes the bag with no small amount of bemusement, though she frowns in confusion as she opens it. After a moment she reaches in, pulls out the smaller black felt bag, and then opens it. Her frown deepens for a moment before a look of awe crosses her face as she pulls out the emblem ring.
"W-Wha-?!" she exclaims, tripping over her words as she looks up at them, face lighting up like an emerald sun. "Kris?!"
"It's not an engagement ring!" they say immediately, and they're glad when she seems to immediately calm. "I just… I saw it a while ago, and I thought of you, so… I bought it. It seemed like it'd be a good Valentine's Day gift."
She stares at them for a second more, nods faintly, and then looks back down at the ring. Several long seconds pass as she studies it, her blush steadily fading. In its place comes a thoughtful frown that only deepens the longer she stares at it.
Then her face lights up, with realization this time, and she jabs a finger at them. "The festival last year! You didn't go to the bathroom! You went and bought this!"
They stare at her in shock. "Wow. I… did not expect you to remember that."
"Well, I do!" she declcares triumphantly, clenching the ring in her first. Then she opens her fist to stare at the ring again, confusion coming over her face. "Wait… were you… w-were you planning this since then?"
They feel their heart drop a bit at her words. All of a sudden, they realize that buying your girlfriend a ring on your first date for a Valentine's Day months in the future is maybe a bit creepy in hindsight.
None of this is going how they hoped it would.
"Well," they say, desperately trying to think of a way to salvage this situation, "k-kinda? I mean, yeah, that…. that was the plan. I just thought of you when I saw it, and it didn't cost that much… n-not that it's cheap for anything!" they add after a second, realizing how bad that sounded. "It's sterling silver, and the gem is a moonstone! I wouldn't get you something cheap! And as for how long I've been planning this, I… i-it was more like a 'just in case' thing, you know? Like if we made it this far, I'd give it to you. Obviously I had no way of knowing if we would, but I… I hoped we would, and we have, so…"
They shrug helplessly, and a nervous smile twitches at their lips.
This wasn't in their plan.
Their explanation doesn't seem to do much good. Noelle is looking between them and the ring with a furrow in her brow and a frown on her face, like they're two puzzle pieces she's trying to fit together. That doesn't seem like a great sign, and they suddenly wish they had at least bought her fancier chocolate instead of just making them from scratch.
To their surprise and immense relief, however, the next words out of her mouth aren't about how they're creepy or that she wants to break up. Instead they're, "Why me?"
They blink at her for a moment, struggling to process her words. All they can come up with in response is, "What?"
"W-Why me?" repeats Noelle, a bit more uncertain this time. "I… I-I mean, I really, um, like you, don't get me wrong, I just…" She swallows thickly, and they're startled to see tears in her eyes. "I just, uh… d-don't understand why you like... me. W-What do you like so much about me?"
Of all the things they expected her to say, that wasn't one of them. They're too stunned to speak for a second, and then they're too confused to speak for the next few seconds after. Their mind kicks itself into hyperdrive as they try to analyze her words, deduce some sort of logical meaning from them.
They can't, though. It's like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. They don't understand what she means or what she's talking about. Or, rather, they don't understand the why. Why she's asking this.
She's asking it, though. And that means they have to answer.
"I… like you, Noelle," they say, their thoughts only a few scant milliseconds ahead of their mouth. "I… I like your eyes and how expressive they are. I like your hair, the way it's all curly and bouncy, and how you take such good care of it. I like how even though you're scared of a lot of things, you never let them hold you back. I like how you always stick up for me when you need to. I like how smart you are, and how much you love learning. I like how you one hundred percent every game you play. I like your 'fahaha' laugh. I like how excited you get about video games. I like how nice you are to everyone and how you always want to help. I like how much you love scary things even though they terrify you. I like how brave you are."
They pause, staring at her, and then they just huff a laugh and smile. "I… I don't just like you, Noelle. I... love you. Everything about you."
They stare at her, feeling a blush racing across their cheeks. She's staring right back at them with wide eyes, seemingly frozen. When a full second passes by like that, they have the terrifying thought that maybe that was a little too much. Are they moving too fast? They've been dating for about five months, but… is that too soon to be throwing around 'love'? They have no idea, this is their first relationship, but… it felt right, when they said it. That has to count for something.
Then again they weren't really thinking when they said that, so maybe-
They're so busy thinking that they don't notice Noelle is smiling at them with watery eyes until she says, "I-I love you too, Kris."
For a moment, their head is completely blank. Then they process what she said, and a nuclear explosion of happiness goes off inside their body. It sends warm fuzzy electricity racing through their head, and they can't keep the wide, beaming smile off their face, not that they even try.
"I love you," they say again, breathless. They huff a laugh and reach for her, cupping her cheeks. "I love you." They press a quick kiss to her lips. "I love you, I love you, I love you! Oh, I've wanted to say that for so long!"
"I-I love you too!" she says again, so excited that a puff of frost accompanies every word. "Gosh, I… this is so… I love you so much, Kris!"
Hearing those words sends them soaring. This level of happiness… they never knew it existed. They couldn't have possibly even imagined it before.
Then their mind catches up to their heart, and as always, it has an idea.
"You love me?" they say with a grin, leaning in a bit closer. They reach down to take hold of one of her hands, lifting to press it against their cheek.
"O-Of course I do!" she says, too overwhelmed with emotion to catch the sharp edge lacing their smile.
"What do you love about me?"
She freezes completely. Truly like a deer in headlights. "What?"
"You asked me what I liked about you," they say, leaning even closer. They trace one hand up her neck, along her jaw, to take gentle hold of her chin. "I told you what I loved about you. So… only fair you return the favor, no?"
She continues to stare at them, smile frozen on her face. It remains frozen there even as she blushes bright green, eyes dropping to the ground.
" Ooooohhhhh no," she breathes to herself, and then mutters, "(I really should have expected this.)"
They chuckle evilly and press a chaste kiss to her lips. "You should have," they say, and she snaps her attention back to them with a bit of a scowl.
"I really need to break that habit." She says it half to herself and they laugh again, leaning back.
"If you want," they say, dropping the evil act. "I do love it, though. It's really cute."
That gets her blushing again, and she rolls her eyes with a sigh.
"O-Okay," she says after a few moments, looking back to them. "I, um… I really… I-I like your eyes. They aren't, um, like monster eyes, they… the pattern is different, and I… I just really like them. Um… I like how fashionable you always are. You always look just so… so great, with the makeup and the little embroidery on all your clothes. A-And you're always so… so brave, and confident, and relaxed. You aren't scared of anything, or worried about anything, and I… I love that so much. I love how you always listen to me, and, um… you're always there for me. I, um… I like watching you play the piano, because you always look so… I-I don't how to explain it, it's just, um… there isn't anything like it. I… I like your hands, how soft and dainty they are. And, um… I… uh… I-I really like how you… smell."
They don't reply immediately, too caught in the strange fuzzy haze that had settled over them from hearing their girlfriend compliment them so much.
Then their mind catches up, and they ask, "You like how I smell?"
She just stares at them, smile once again frozen on her face.
"O-Okay, wait," she says, raising a finger as they start laughing, "that sounded a lot weirder than it did in my head!"
"You think?"
She sighs heavily, rolling her eyes.
"I-It's just-!" she says before cutting herself off. She takes a deep breath, squeezes her eyes shut, and then opens them again. "Monsters... always smell like our magic, you know? We always smell the same, but you, um… I mean you obviously smell a bit like burnt sugar, since you use your magic a lot, but you also smell like… like apples and flowers, from your shampoo and stuff, plus whatever deodorant you use, but there's this… there's this other smell, you know? Like this… kind of musky… h-human smell, I guess? And I don't know, I just… I, um… find it… nice, I guess? I-I don't know, it's stupid, forget it."
"No!" they say quickly, stepping in closer as she shakes her head. They can tell that they maybe crossed the line. "No, it's… I-I'm actually kind of… insecure about that. That I don't just smell like my magic like you guys. So… it's nice to hear that you like that. Really. Thank you."
"R-Really?" she asks, surprised, and they nod. That seems to surprise her even more. "Wow, I… i-it's kind of weird to think about you being insecure about stuff. You're usually so... confident."
"I'm only human," they say with a shrug, and she laughs a bit. Then she pauses, looking at them thoughtfully.
"Is there anything else?" she asks, and they look at her confusedly. "That you're insecure about, I mean."
"Oh," they say, surprised. After a moment though, they nod, looking away. "My… my height, I guess? I… wish I was taller."
Noelle looks a bit shocked, but she quickly recovers, pulling them close with a reassuring smile. "I… never knew that," she says quietly. "That's… kind of cute."
This time it's their turn to roll their eyes.
"You might grow up to be giant, you know," she says with a poorly hidden amused smile. "Bigger than even Uncle Asgore, maybe."
"Okay," they say, huffing a laugh as they pull away. "That's enough."
She pulls them close again, though. "No, no, I'm sorry!" Her laughing makes her apology fall a little short, and that only seems to make her laugh more. "S-Seriously, I do like your height. It might be a little selfish, but I, um… I like… well, honestly? I like that I'll never have to worry about hitting you with my antlers when we cuddle. When they, um… f-finally come in, that is."
They hold it together for all of a second before they burst out laughing. They fall to their knees, laughing so hard that they can't breathe, and they're half sure tears are pouring down their cheeks. Noelle joins them, pressing her face into their back as she giggles helplessly.
Honestly, though? It does make them feel better about their height. They love nothing more than nestling their head against hers and feeling her so close to them. Having to worry about getting an eye poked out by one of her antlers would certainly ruin that.
They eat most of the chocolate together there, by the lakeside, and they're reassured when she seems to love hers. She also slips the ring onto her right ring finger, blushing all the while but seemingly in love with it, which is also reassuring. It's a bit big, but hopefully that just means it'll fit perfectly once they're all grown up.
And with the Angel above and gods surrounding them as their witness, they hope more than anything else that they'll give her a matching one on her other hand one day.
Thank you to JungleDragon for posting his own fic, Incidence! While I've been writing this fic in some way since before even Chapter 2, don't think I would have had the confidence to post it without another complicated Kriselle-flavored AU fic being posted. His is definitely better though, and that's not just my bias against my own works talking. Incidence is probably one of the best written fics and most fascinating AU's I've ever read on this site, so it definitely deserves as much as attention it can get! Please go check it out!
As for this fic, I will confess that I despise it. I have spent so long working on it and finetuning it that I'm honestly just kind of sick of it. I think it's pretty objectively trash too, honestly, but I've been working on it for so long that I felt committing to finishing it and now that I have, I feel committed to posting it. I'll be completing the sequel part as well for the same reasons. It'll hopefully be far shorter and easier to write, though, so we'll see if I end up hating it as much as I hate this fic, lol.
That said, I did do some pixel art for this fic which will be over in the notes on the AO3 posting of this fic. I'll also be posting any additional art made for the fic on that version, so make sure to check it out!
Finally, just to clarify, all chapters of this fic are written, edited, and ready to be posted. I'll be releasing them every Monday unless unforeseen circumstances prevent me, so keep an eye out! And yes, I could release them all at once, but I want some time to work on the next part of this series. I'm really hoping to have it ready to be posted by the time this fic completes. Also I kind of just want to hopefully see people's reactions chapter by chapter, and I don't think I'd get that if I posted the whole thing all at once, lol.
As an aside, the Misadventures fic on my account is kind of technically the first part in this Deltaread: fic series. The reason that one was posted so long before this one, though, is because this is an idea I've had in some form for a long time. I just didn't have the confidence or wherewithal to fully write and post until now. The format, however, which is separate, largely self-contained smaller stories was used for that Misadventures fic! It was always vaguely meant to be in the same universe as this one, though I obviously kept out any mention of the weirder stuff. I did some edits for continuity's sake on the AO3 version, such as Dess' and Kris' gender and some ages, and that was carried over to here. Aside from that, though, it's pretty much the same as when I first posted it.
But that's about it, so thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed!