Gumball lay on his bed, softly crying to himself as his heart ached.
He and Penny had gotten into a fight during their date earlier that day, and she had walked away and ended the date early, incredibly annoyed at him, leaving him on his own to think about what had happened.
He felt horrible that he'd upset her, but also a little mad at her too. After all, she was the one that had started it, she kept pushing him and pushing him instead of just letting the subject go...
He sniffed as he felt the warm tears falling down his face faster. The whole ordeal kept replaying in his mind, over and over and over, making him feel worse and worse.
What was it they had fought over exactly? Well...
A couple of hours earlier, at the Dinner diner.
"and then we erased him from the painting, which erased him from real life, but we felt bad about it so we made Banana Barbara draw him back in."
"Uh-huh..." Penny replied with a tone of complete uninterest as she was forced to listen to yet another story about Rob. That seemed to be all Gumball talked about.
Gumball noticed her lack of interest. "What's wrong? Do you not like my story?"
"No, it's just...all you talk about is Rob. You're infatuated with him, and it's starting to get really annoying."
"What? Pssh, no I'm not!"
"Yeah, you are! You talk about him all the time."
"I don't talk about him that often!"
His phone received a ping and he immediately pulled it out with excitement. "Ooh, I wonder if it's from Rob?!"
She leaned on her elbow and raised her eyebrow.
"Okay, fine maybe I do, but that doesn't mean I'm obsessed with him!"
She sighed. "Look, Gumball, we both know you like him."
"Yeah, of course I do, he's my nemesis."
"One, you aren't supposed to like your nemesis, two, I meant you like like him."
He spat out his drink. "What?! No, no, no, absolutely not!"
"Come on, it's obvious. Just admit it, you like him."
"I don't! I just really like having a nemesis, that's all."
"Uh-huh..." She said not believing him in the slightest.
"It's true!"
"You're in denial Gumball. The sooner you accept that the sooner we can work on getting our relationship back on track again."
Gumball raised his voice slightly, getting defensive. "I don't like Rob, there's nothing for me to deny!"
She let out an annoyed sigh. "Look, I understand if you're scared to accept your feelings for Rob, really I do, but there's nothing to be scared of. I'll still love you just as much, regardless of who you like."
Gumball was starting to get frustrated at her constant accusations and snapped. "For the last time, I don't like Rob, I don't like guys, I only like you. There's nothing for me to deny or accept because I have absolutely no feelings for him!
Penny turned red, starting to get angry as well. "Well, whatever you feel about him you need to do something about it as I'm fed up with being ignored and disregarded. It's like all you care about is him!"
"That's not true, I'm not ignoring or disregarding you at all! I love and care about you so much, you know that!
She raised her voice, beginning to shout at him.
"Then maybe show that to me once and a while instead of hiding in denial and gushing about Rob all the time! I'm fed up with it!"
"I'm not in denial! Stop saying that!" He shouted back.
She lost it and turned into her medusa form, slamming her hands on the table.
"YES, YOU ARE!!! YOU LIKE ROB, YOU LIKE GUYS, STOP BEING SUCH A COWARD AND JUST ACCEPT THAT ALREADY!"
Everything suddenly went quiet as everyone stared at them.
She breathed heavily, trying to calm herself down, and turned back to normal, "Look, I'm gonna go home. I don't feel like talking to you right now and I'm not in the mood for this anymore. I just need to go and calm down by myself. Please, just...think about what I've said, alright? I'll talk to you soon."
She stood up and began to walk away.
"Wait, Penny, no, I'm sorry!" Gumball panicked, realising he had upset her.
She ignored him and continued walking.
"Penny, wait! COME BACK!"
She walked out, leaving him alone.
His ears fell and he teared up, upset that he made Penny mad.
He remained there, sitting in silence and thinking about what had just happened for the next 15 minutes before eventually getting up and leaving the diner distraught, the events that had just occurred replaying and echoing throughout his head the entire walk home.
Back in the present day Gumball sniffed and wiped his eyes before letting out a sigh. He couldn't just lay here moping, he had to do something.
He heard Penny's voice echoing in his head.'Please, just...think about what I've said, alright?'
He sighed again and closed his eyes.
She claimed he had feelings for Rob, that he...that he liked guys. That couldn't be true, could it?
No, he knew it wasn't. He liked her, no, loved her, there was no way he could like Rob.
The more he thought about it though, the more he began to doubt himself.
Could she...could she be right? Could he really be gay?
I mean Rob is his nemesis, surely he can't like him in that way...right?
His thoughts wandered and he began to think about Rob, beginning to smile subconsciously.
I guess I do feel kinda weird whenever I'm around him...he always makes me feel...happy and excited and I never really know why.
He began to grin.
and I mean, he is pretty cute, especially with that amazing smile which always makes me feel so warm and fuzzy inside and-
He gasped, eyes shooting open, cheeks blushing deeply and quickly covered his mouth with his paws, even though he didn't actually say anything.
Oh my god...did he...did he really just think that!? Does he...does he really think Rob is...cute?! Does he really think he has a nice smile?!
No, no there's...there's no way he could like Rob! He's a guy, and guys aren't supposed to like other guys, right? Besides, he likes Penny, he really likes her, there's no way he could like Rob too, right...right?
Unless...unless maybe he likes girls and guys? Was...Was that even possible?
He held his head in his paws and began to cry softly again. This was making his head hurt so much, he felt so confused and overwhelmed by all these new thoughts and ideas and he didn't know what to do, he felt like screaming.
He looked around his room, trying to find some inspiration, and his sight landed on the computer.
Maybe the internet could bring him some answers...
He got up, sat down at the computer and opened a private tab.
He hesitated before searching 'Can you like guys and girls at the same time?'
He spent the next half an hour reading about different sexualities, learning terms he never knew about before like 'Bisexual', 'Pansexual, 'Aro' 'Ace' and more and what they all meant.
I had no idea there were so many different kinds of sexuality out there...
Two of the terms stuck out to him. 'Bisexual' and 'Pansexual'. He could like both guys and girls, there were actual terms for it, but did he? Was it really possible he liked both Penny and Rob? How could he know for sure?
He thought about what to do and had an idea. He researched how to know if he was attracted to someone and began comparing the things it described with what he felt towards both Penny and Rob.
He slowly realised he'd felt some of the things it described towards not just Penny, but Rob too.
He..he did. He liked Rob...
He closed the tab and sat back in deep thought, comprehending what he'd just discovered before finally saying aloud to himself.
"Oh my...oh my God...Penny's right...I'm gay..."
He sat there in the chair, completely still, processing everything he'd just learnt and discovered.
This was a lot to take in...
He was gay...he liked guys...well, guys and girls. There were even terms, 'Bisexual' and 'Pansexual', though, he wasn't really sure which applied to him more...whatever, picking a term didn't really matter right now. What matters is Penny was right. He did like Rob, he had been in denial this whole time.
The more he thought about it the more he realised a part of him had always known too, he'd just refused to accept it but...why?
He heard a knock on the door and looked up. "Come in!"
Darwin opened the door and leaned in. "Hey, dinner is ready, we're all waiting for you."
"Oh, alright, I'll be down in a second, thanks."
Darwin nodded and closed the door, leaving Gumball alone again.
Seeing Darwin made Gumball have another sudden realisation.
Oh god, how do I tell the others about this? Do I tell them? I mean what if...what if they think I'm wrong for liking guys...what if they think I'm a freak? What if they hate me?
No, no, this is his family he's thinking of, they'd never hate me or turn on me, no matter what, especially not because of who I like...right?
The more he thought about it, not only did his doubt grow, but he also realised something else, as everything began to click into place...
Of course...
He didn't want to accept that he was gay because he was scared. Scared of what everyone else would think of him, scared they'd turn on him, leave him, look at him in disgust and laugh.
"Gumball are you coming or not?!" He heard Darwin call from the stairs.
"Oh, uh...yeah, coming!"
He got up and went downstairs, still in deep thought about what to do with his new discovery.
A couple of minutes later he was sitting at the dinner table, picking at his food, not feeling hungry as he was too distracted by his dilemma.
Should he tell them? How would they react if he did?
He looked at them and began to imagine them all glaring at him, judging him silently. He could have sworn they looked disgusted.
He zoned out from the conversation they were having and heard them begin to laugh. Were they laughing at him?
He began to sweat and he felt a knot in his stomach form as the conflict inside him grew. He wanted to tell them, really he did, but he was terrified of their response, terrified of what they might do.
He realised that right now he was genuinely terrified of his own family.
"Honey, are you okay?" Nicole suddenly brought him back to reality with her question, noticing he'd barely touched his food.
"Hmm? Oh err, y-yeah I'm fine."
"Are you sure? You seemed pretty upset earlier when you came home. Did something happen?"
He hesitated and then sighed. "Yeah...me and Penny kinda had a fight and...she ended up leaving our date early."
"Oh no, really?"
He nodded tearing up slightly and she leaned over and hugged him.
"Oh, I'm so sorry. It wasn't serious was it?"
"No, it wasn't too bad, just a... disagreement over something, that's all."
"Well, I hope you two make up soon. I hate to see you mad at each other, you get along so well normally, and I can tell how happy you make each other. I'd hate for you to drift apart..."
"Yeah, me too...don't worry, I'll talk to her soon."
Nicole nodded and sat back down and they went back to eating before Anais spoke up.
"So what was the disagreement over anyway?"
"Huh? Oh, uh...it was nothing." He replied, trying to dodge the question.
"If you fought over it then it can't have been nothing.
"Well, I...uhhh..."
Oh god, oh god, what does he do? Does he lie or does he just tell them the truth?
"Well? Don't keep us in suspense!" Richard spoke up.
"I-I-It was nothing, really."
"Aww come on dude, tell us. It can't be that bad!" Darwin smiled at him.
Gumball began to shake and his ears lowered as he panicked. "I...I-I-I don't know if I can..."
"What do you mean?" Nicole asked him.
I suppose I can just try to keep it as vague as possible...
"It...was about me, or well...a part of me...one I've thought about a lot today and came to a realisation about."
"Oh, and what would that be?"
Gumball hesitated again, beginning to shake even more and sweat, letting out a whimper.
Oh god, it didn't work, he was cornered...
"Gumball? What's wrong sweetheart?" Nicole asked starting to get concerned.
"N-Nothing, I'm fine."
Anais placed her paw on his. "You can tell us. Whatever it is, we won't judge you."
He teared up, beginning to cry lightly as he let out another quiet whimper.
"P-promise you won't get mad o-o-or shout o-or hate me..."
"Or course we won't nothing you could ever tell us would make us hate you." Nicole assured him.
"a-a-and you won't tell anyone else? Absolutely n-no one."
"We promise, whatever it is, it's safe with us buddy." Darwin placed his fin on his shoulder.
Richard nodded. "Yep, this mouth will remain completely sealed."
Gumball hesitated again, gulping as his entire family stared at him awaiting his response.
Well...here goes nothing...
He sniffed as he tried to hold back his tears.
"I...I-I-I'm...I'm gay." He quickly closed his eyes tightly and let out a whimper as he braced himself for a torrent of shouting.
He heard them all gasp in shock.
Oh God...here it comes...
He waited for them to shout or show their disgust but he heard nothing but silence.
He slowly relaxed his face and opened his eyes again to see his family looking at him in shock, processing what he'd just revealed.
"You're...gay? But I thought you liked Penny...?" Nicole asked confused.
"I do, a lot! l just...like guys as well..." He blushed.
"Oh, really? Well...alright then! Whatever makes you happy." She smiled and went back to eating.
He felt more tears falling down his face. "Wait t-t-that's it? You aren't mad? You...you don't think I'm a freak o-o-or hate me or anything?"
She looked up at him with a look of sympathy.
"What...?"
She noticed how hard he was shaking and the tears falling down his face and her ears fell as the realisation dawned on her.
"Oh, honey...is that why you were so scared to tell us...?" She asked softly.
He nodded as the tears began to stream down his face.
'Oh, sweetheart..." She got up, walked over to him and hugged him tightly and lovingly as he cried over her shoulder. "No, no, of course we don't. We could never, ever, ever hate you because of who you love."
"Yeah, that doesn't matter to us. It's what's on the inside that does." Darwin smiled at him reassuringly.
Anais nodded before lovingly hugging him with Nicole. "You're our big brother and we'll always love and support you, no matter what."
Richard smiled at him. "All that matters to us is that you're happy, we couldn't care less whether it's with a girl or a guy."
He sniffed as he spoke quietly. "R-Really? You all mean it?"
Nicole crouched down and looked him in the eyes with a smile. "Of course we do, and I want you to know, we're so, so proud of you, not only for having the courage to come out to us but for being able to accept it yourself as well. I know how scared and confused you must have been, but you've handled this all so maturely and we couldn't be prouder of you."
She ruffled the fur on his head as he spoke up on the verge of tears again. "I...I don't know what to say...you all being so supportive and proud of me...it...it means so much I...I really don't deserve this..."
"Hey, don't put yourself down, of course you do!" Richard replied.
He smiled weakly at them all, his eyes welling up. "Oh, you guys I..."
He suddenly burst into tears, overwhelmed by how supportive, kind and understanding they were all being.
They all awwed at him before Darwin and Richard smiled and got up as the four of them hugged Gumball in a big family hug.
Gumball happily embraced them all back as he continued to cry.
"I love you all so much!" He looked up at them with big wet eyes, letting out a sniff.
"Awwww, we love you too Gummypuss, so, so much, and nothing will ever, ever change that." Nicole replied as she stroked his head.
After a little while, Nicole kissed him on the forehead before they released him and sat back down as Gumball continued to smile.
"So...who's the guy you have the hots for, ey?" Darwin suddenly spoke up as he grinned and playfully punched Gumball's arm.
"Oh, err..." He rubbed his arm and mumbled, beginning to blush.
"What was that? I didn't hear you."
"I said I have a crush on.." He cleared his throat "..on Rob..." He looked down and blushed harder.
"Rob?!" He grinned even harder and held back laughter.
"Hey, don't laugh!" His cheeks turned completely red.
Darwin managed to speak through his laughter. "Hahaha, I'm sorry...it's just...I knew it! I knew you liked him!"
"What?! You did?!" Gumball asked shocked.
Darwin regained his composure. "Yeah dude, with how much you talked and gushed about him, and tried to keep him your nemesis, it was pretty obvious!"
"Oh..." He rubbed his arm embarrassed.
"Rob? Who's he?" Anais asked confused.
"Oh right, you haven't met him. He's our nemesis."
"Your...nemesis...? You know what, I'm not gonna ask. So, are you gonna tell him then?"
"What?! No way!" He blushed again.
"Why not? Are you too embarrassed?" She began to grin.
"No, it's because we're nemesis...es...nemesi..
.neme...enemies! We're enemies, he can't know I like him!"
"Nah, you're definitely just too embarrassed, admit it!"
"No, I'm not!" He blushed harder.
"Then why are you blushing? Is someone embarrassed about his cruuuush?" She giggled.
"No, of course not!" He blushed even more, his entire face turning a deep red.
She held back her laughter. "Yes, you are! You're so embarrassed!"
"No, I just...I just...shut up!" He crossed his arms and gave her an annoyed look, really embarrassed and unable to come up with any other response.
She began to laugh. "Aww, I'm only teasing you!"
He tried to continue looking annoyed but he couldn't help but slowly begin to grin too before letting out a chuckle. "I know..."
She eventually regained her composure. "You do need to something about him though. You can't just go on bottling up your feelings. I mean, it's already caused an argument between you and Penny."
"I know, I know, I just...I need time to think, it's a lot to think about..."
His ears lowered as he worried about what to do.
She took his paw and gave it a squeeze. "Hey, don't worry about it too much. I know whatever you choose to do, you'll make the right decision."
He smiled. "Thanks, sis."
They finally finished dinner, Gumball feeling much happier and more comfortable now that he doesn't have to worry about his family's reactions, happy to know how supportive they are of him.
Now he just had Penny and Rob to work out...
After helping his mother with the washing up, Gumball was back in his room again, contemplating about what to do about Penny and Rob.
He likes Penny a lot, but he also likes Rob. Who did he really want to be with though?
He thought about them both and everything he'd been through with them, and the more he did the more he realised he already knew the answer. He had known right from the beginning.
Rob was attractive and made him happy and excited but he didn't long to be with him like he did with Penny, he didn't feel the same deep connection as he did with her.
The two of them have been through so much together. They've helped each other through thick and thin and gotten through some of their toughest moments together. They've grown and changed as people together, belped each other to come out of their shells, in her case quite literally.
They love and care about each so deeply that he just couldn't imagine himself with anyone else. She's who he really cared about, she's the one who really mattered to him. They were meant for each other.
So what does he do about Rob?
Anais was right, he couldn't just bottle up and ignore his feelings, he had to do something about it. If he didn't his relationship with Penny was at risk of falling apart...
He didn't want to get together with him but he still liked him a lot, he still wanted to spend time with him. There had to be something he could do, but what?
He sighed. If only he could just hang out with Rob more often, doing normal stuff like with all his other friends. They could never do that though, he's his nemesis, they aren't meant to like each other. Unless...
Unless he wasn't his nemesis anymore...
I mean, who says that they had stay that way? Why can't they just be friends? He just had to make an effort to befriend Rob, show him that he had no reason to be his nemesis anymore and they could easily become great friends!
He smiled. Yes, this was the perfect solution! He'd get to stay Penny whilst still spending time with Rob.
That could wait for another time however, right now he had someone needed to apologise to...
His face fell as his thoughts turned to Penny.
His ears lowered as he realised how poorly he'd been treating her. He was so caught up in denying his feelings for Rob, denying that he was gay, that he'd been completely ignoring and disregarding the person he really cared about. He'd pushed her aside like she meant nothing to him...he'd been such a terrible boyfriend to her...
He had to do better, he had to make things right.
He looked at his phone. He had an apology to make. He picked it up and texted Penny.
'Hey Pen, I've thought long and hard about what you've said and I've realised a lot stuff, about myself, and I really need to talk to you about it. Can we talk?'
He sent it and waited for a response.
After a couple of minutes he was starting to get worried. She hadn't replied yet. Was she was still mad at him? Did she hate him?
Suddenly he heard a ping as his phone received a message.
He eagerly checked it. 'Sure! How about we meet at the park tomorrow afternoon, about 1pm?'
He smiled and began typing. 'That's perfect. See you then, I love you so much!'
He sent it and smiled, holding the phone to his chest. This was it, he was going to make things right.
(If you can play 'How Can I Tell You' by Yusuf/Cat Stevens please do so now)
The next day the two of them met and sat under a tree together, with leaves falling down around them.
"So, uh...about yesterday..." He began.
"You're sorry, I know. I am too. I shouldn't have pressured you like I did. I can't just push you into something so difficult like that. It's needs to be handled delicately, in your own time."
"It's okay. Like I said, I thought for a long time last night about what you said. About being in denial and...you were right, I was. I am gay.. I do like guys."
She gasped lightly before smiling as he continued.
"I always knew deep down, I just... I didn't want to accept it, because I was scared. I was scared about what everyone would think of me. I thought I would be ridiculed, bullied, hated. I didn't want to think about or acknowledge what I already knew, and I was content with doing so, until last night..."
"Our fight was the wake-up call that I needed. It finally pushed me to accept what I had known all along. I'm not gonna lie, I was terrified at first. I was terrified of what my family would think of me if they found out. Eventually, during dinner I took the plunge and told then, and..."
He began to cry softly. "They were so supportive...so kind. They made me feel so happy and proud to be who I am. I couldn't wish for a better family than them..."
He took a hold of her hand and squeezed it.
"That's when I realised, I had all the love and support I could ever need, right in front of me the whole time. As long as I had my family, as long I had you, I had no reason to be scared."
He sniffed as more tears fell. "I realised I had been so blind. I was neglecting you, pushing you away because I let my denial and anxiety about myself take over. I began over compensating and fixating on the very thing I was trying to deny and I lost focus on the person that truly mattered to me."
He held her other hand and started into her eyes as she also began to tear up.
"I'm so, so sorry for how I've treated you. I've been such a terrible boyfriend and I promise, I'm going to do better. I'm going to give you the love and attention and care that you deserve because I love you so, so much and I want you to know that. I almost lost you because I was too scared to just accept who I was, and focus on what was right in front of me, and I swear, I won't ever let that happen again."
She sniffed, crying herself and began to smile before hugging him lovingly.
"Thank you so much! That apology was so beautiful and...and so genuine and you have no idea how much it means to me..."
She looked up at him, tears still falling. "I'm so, so sorry for everything I said yesterday. I didn't mean to upset you or push you into facing something so daunting and overwhelming. My anger just got the better of me, that's all."
"I know, it's okay. It was my fault for being such a coward.
He looked down upset.
She held his paw and squeezed it, raising his head with her other hand.
"You weren't a coward, not at all. You were scared and confused and that's completely normal. I'm really, really sorry I pushed you so hard...I was just as much of a jerk as you. I shouldn't have tried to rush you into something like that. I know how terrifying and difficult and daunting it must have been for you to wrap your head around and come to terms with it and I'm so, so proud of you for having the courage to finally accept and embrace who you are and I want you to know that no matter what, I love you so, so much and nothing will ever, ever change that."
He smiled and wiped her tears.
"Thank you, Pen, you have no idea how much that means to me, and hey, don't worry about the other day, it's alright, I get it, you were frustrated at how I was treating you and you got annoyedd and snapped, that's perfectly understandable, and I forgive you."
She wrapped her arms around his neck. "Oh Gumball...I don't deserve such a kind and forgiving boyfriend like you..."
He smiled. "and I don't deserve a girlfriend as understanding and patient as you...
He wrapped his arms around her waist, looking her in the eyes as they both smiled.
He looked in awe at her. He would never get over how beautiful and mesmerising she was...
"Hey, have I ever told you how beautiful your eyes are?" He raised one of his paws to her cheek.
She blushed and let out a cute giggle.
"Awww, Gummy...C'mere!"
She pulled him in for a long, loving kiss.
She finished and leaned back again as they continued to gaze at each other in awe.
He grinned and affectionately rubbed his nose against where hers would be, making her giggle again.
She snuggled up to him and rested her head against his shoulder, him wrapping his arm around her as they watched the orange leaves blow in the cool autumn breeze
Gumball began to purr lightly, happy and proud to have finally accepted who he is, and incredibly happy to have such a kind and supportive family and girlfriend.
He lightly nuzzled against Penny's head as he continued to purr.
"I love you so much Pen..."
She lifted her hand and tickled behind his ear, making him close his eyes in delight and purr louder, as his smile grew. "I love you too Gummy."