John Phoenix was walking home from the court one sunny afternoon. It was 2 o clock and all the babies were getting picked up from school. If John Phoenix were an ordinary person, he would probably be on his way home from preschool right now, as he was still only two and a half years old. But he grew at a faster rate than most people, and thus he was one among the workforce.
As he was strolling down the road, a scruffy haired boy brushed past him!
"WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING!" John Phoenix snarled and the boy started crying and ran away. John Phoenix shook his head and continued walking. But then he stepped on something!
"Ouch!" said someone. He wasn't sure who. It certainly wasn't John Phoenix, because stepping on this thing did not hurt.
John Phoenix picked up the thing and closely examined it to determine its identity. It appeared to be a three-sided gray pencil. Each side of the pencil had two black dotted lines running down it. It looked nice so John Phoenix held onto it. He did not report it to the lost and found because he declared himself the owner, therefore it is no longer lost.
John Phoenix went home and his Uncle Phoenix Wright was waiting for him.
"John Phoenix it's time to finish writing up that legal document."
John Phoenix groaned. He was holding off on writing this legal document, because John Phoenix had trouble spelling difficult words like "document." His old sea-faring friend Peter Murray also had trouble with fancy words so he took solace knowing he was not alone.
Anyway John Phoenix sat down and started writing.
"How do you spell document... dockyoumint? Yes, surely," said John Phoenix. And so that's what he wrote. Or so he tried to. But instead of spelling it that way, he spelled it as "document!"
John Phoenix glared at his pencil.
"It seems my pencil is writing for me while clearly trying to make me think it's my own work."
"Oh fiddlesticks you noticed!" said the pencil.
"State your name! And then apologize for interfering with my work!"
"I'm Penny the Pencil, and I wasn't interfering, I was helping! Dictionary told me that's how you spell that word so I couldn't help but correct your mistake!"
John Phoenix stroked his chin in awe.
"That's great. I'm gonna use you from now on. You can do all the work for me while I daydream."
"Uhh you can't do that, I've got to get home to Ralph because he's my owner."
"Objection no you aren't. Ralph doesn't deserve to be your owner because he lost you because he is stupid. I, however, am John Phoenix (better)."
"Good point John Phoenix. I'll let you own me from now on."
John Phoenix and Penny the Pencil entered what they call a symbiotic relationship (it means they both benefit from each other's existence), because John Phoenix had Penny sign all his documents for him and he could sleep through it all and Penny the Pencil got the honor of working for John Phoenix which made her famous.
Until the next morning...
Dylan Fitchar walked in!
"Guess what John Phoenix you owe me a million bucks!"
"What? OBJECTION!" shouted John Phoenix and they went to court.
"Plantiff state your case against John Phoenix," said the judge.
"Okay," said Dylan. "I loaned John Phoenix one dollar with an interest rate of 1,000,000% per day. He has failed to pay back the interest and as such I am suing him."
"OBJECTION!" said John Phoenix. "I didn't loan shit from you!"
"You're right, you didn't loan shit from me, you loaned a dollar from me," said Dylan and he threw the loan contract in John Phoenix's face and he read it and was shocked to find out that he did indeed sign the contract! In pencil.
"PENNY THE PENCIL! WHY WOULD YOU SIGN THIS!" said John Phoenix.
"Sorry John Phoenix I only know how to read elementary school level words," said Penny the Pencil who was sorry.
"Wait a second," said John Phoenix. He peered closer at the document. "If you look really closely a lot of this contract has been crossed out and someone's written most of the contract over it in marker! It's a clear forgery, Dylan!"
"Um, no?" said Dylan. "In order to forge this I'd have to have a black texta and I do not have a black texta. Get owned you little shit!"
"I don't think so," said Penny and she sprang across the courtroom!
"Heavens me, is that pencil alive!" said the judge.
"Yes."
Penny landed next to Dylan and jumped into his back pocket and pulled out a black texta!
But it wasn't just any ordinary black texta. The black texta had been melted into a pile of sludge, and it was covered in panda shit. It was a black texta befitting of Dylan Fitchar. And this black texta had a name.
It was Penny the Pencil's nemesis, Black Texta! And his puppy Rubber was there too.
"Well met, Penny!" said Black Texta. "But now it's time I destroy you forever, gfahahaha!"
"Um, death threats? Police?" said John Phoenix.
"Shit!"
Black Texta hopped away but the bailiff picked him up and laughed as the stinky piece of goop flailed his surprisingly buff arms around trying to punch him, then put him in his pocket.
"O-Objection!" said Dylan. "John Phoenix still signed the contract so he has to pay!"
John Phoenix yawned. He went over to the prosecution bench, picked up Rubber and used him to erase his name from the document because it was written in pencil.
"I didn't sign anything."
"FUCK YOU JOHN PHOENIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIX!" Dylan Fitchar ran away.
John Phoenix and Penny the Pencil then became good friends.