It was now or never.

"Can I show you something?"

There was only the slightest hint of a trembling in Will's voice, but he was entirely sure that Mike must have heard it. Anyway, he decided not to deviate from his plan anymore. If this wasn't the moment, then it would never come. And what a moment it was. While he was painting, Will had imagined so many possible occasions when he would show Mike the results of his work – one more romantic than the other. The hot, stuffy and pretty uncomfortable interior of a yellow pizza bus rumbling through the desert of Nevada never had come to his mind though. This surely must have been just another one of those times when fate showed its strange sense of humour.

Whatever…

He took a deep breath and, after a split second of hesitation, handed the roll of paper over to his best friend. Then he quickly made sure that his hands had to do something and cupped his kneecaps with them, so Mike wouldn't recognize how they were shaking right now.

Will watched closely as he unrolled the paper, trying not to miss any sign, any movement of his features. He desperately wanted to see the first and most honest reaction of the dark-haired boy, the boy he secretly loved now for so many years.

And Will's heart jumped when he saw Mike's eyes widening, his best friend obviously stunned by what he just saw in front of him.

"This is amazing!" There was so much happiness in Mike's voice, so much overwhelming that it made Will melt away right on the spot. His best friend turned to him, beaming.

"Did you paint this?", Mike asked, sounding almost breathless. Will had to smile too as he nodded in response. He was so relieved - and of course proud like hell - that Mike actually liked his work. The picture in which he had invested so much time and, most of all, so much emotion. The painting that showed exactly how Will pictured him.

"Yeah. Yeah." And then – he didn't exactly know why – all the bravery suddenly was gone. "I mean-, I mean, I mean El asked me to. She commissioned it, basically. I mean, she told me what to draw." It was almost as if the words came out of Will's mouth automatically. And he hated himself for it. For being a coward once again, not daring to take the risk, not strong enough to stick to the truth.

"Anyway, my point is…" He leaned at little closer to Mike and pointed at the hero in his painting, the one in the forefront. The strongest, the most courageous, the most handsome one. His personal hero. "See how you're leading us here? You're guiding the whole party, inspiring us. That's what you do." Mike blinked. "And see the coat of arms here? It's a heart. And I know it's sort of on the nose, but that's what holds this party together. Heart."

It was a lie. At least partially. Because he, William Byers, wasn't held together by Mike's heart but much more likely ripped apart by it. Because he had fallen for this heart. For Mike. And his own heart was hurting and burning in longing and desire.
But what he said was also the truth. Because his love for Mike kept him going even though he knew all too well about the unlikeliness that it would ever be returned. Mike loved El. Period. But still, the feeling kept on being Will's fuel, his elixir of life. For all the butterflies in his stomach and even the painful twisting in his guts when he saw Mike and El happy together were constant reminders that there was more inside of him than just the darkness One had left behind.

"Because, I mean, without heart, we'd fall apart. Even El. Especially El."

He never had intended to mention her in the first place but right now, it felt right. He could use her as a vehicle, as a vessel to transport his own feelings for Mike. To say out loud what he wanted to say for such a long time. Without saying it directly. A hidden message. More for himself than for Mike, actually. And at the same time, he would help Mike with his words, make him feel better. He would be what a best friend should be. A support. An adviser. And he would help El as well, something which was very important for Will, because he loved his stepsister deeply, even though she was the reason why Mike had turned away from him last year.

"These past few months she's been so lost without you", Will continued, not recognizing the concerned look of his brother Jonathan who was watching him through the rear mirror. "It's just, she's so different from other people, and when you-", he turned away from Mike and looked out of the window as he felt his eyes start to burn, "when you're different, sometimes…", he bit his lip and let out a long breath, "you feel like a mistake."

Then he turned back to Mike and forced himself to look him straight in the eyes. "But you make her feel like she's no mistake at all, that she's better for being different. And that gives her the courage to fight on." That part of his speech was indeed only based on El. Since Mike's presence always reminded Will of what was wrong with him. Of the fact that he was loving whom he shouldn't love. Of the painful truth that his father Lonnie had always been right about him. That he was a fag, a fairy, a mistake in every sense.

"And if she was mean to you or she seemed like she was pushing you away, it's because she's scared of losing you, like you're scared of losing her." That part of course was referring to both El and Will. "And if she was going to lose you, I- I think she'd rather get it over with quick, like ripping of a band-aid."

He looked at Mike who had followed his words silently the whole time, and now Will had to gather all his strength to suppress the tears from flowing. "So yeah, El needs you, Mike. And she always will."

"Yeah?" Mike's voice was so soft, so tender and the smile in his face was so genuinely happy, happy about his words, that Will just wanted to grab and kiss him. And in that moment, he once again realised that this was never ever going to happen. The pain inside of him increased its intensity and Will knew that he wouldn't be able to control himself much longer.

"Yeah…", he just managed to whisper as he felt his eyes filling with tears.

Mike looked down at the picture and back to him, with another short but heart-warming smile. One that Will couldn't see anymore, for he had already turned away from him, the first silent sob escaping from his lips. He put a hand over his mouth to muffle any sound and let the tears flow, hoping that Mike wouldn't notice.

The car was filled with silence for a short time while Will cried silently about the misery that his whole life was. About the injustice, about all the bad things that happened to him and kept happening. Why me? How often had he asked himself that question. How often had he wished to be someone else. Someone with a stronger personality. Someone who would have been able to distance himself from his best friend the moment he noticed that his unrequited love would destroy him on the long run. But instead, here he was, trying his best to help Mike and El find together again, so at least they would get the happiness they both deserved. It was his sacrifice. His martyrdom.

Through his blurred vision, Will was staring at the landscape that was rushing past him, once again wishing that the Mindflayer would have consumed him that day, when he suddenly felt a warm hand on his shoulder. Skinny, long fingers that instantly made him feel safe and comfortable.

"Will?"

Mike said his name silently and cautiously. But Will didn't dare to turn around, since he didn't want his best friend to see his red and puffy eyes, didn't want him to see him weak and fragile again. So, he just stayed silent.

And Mike was considerate enough to accept it. Instead of forcing Will to look at him, he just let his hand slide to Will's back, placed it between his shoulderblades and started rubbing gently and comfortingly. For a certain while they just sat there, Mike trying to give him some hold and Will enjoying his touch. And whatever magic Mike had in his fingers, it worked. Will felt how the tears slowly subsided and how the sobs were more and more replaced by his normal breathing.

Obviously, Mike must have noticed too, because after a few more seconds, he wrapped his arm around Will's shoulder and pulled him to his side. Will still couldn't bring himself to look at his best friend and so he just closed his eyes, leaned in and tried to be as close to Mike as he could.

A few more minutes passed until Mike almost whispered into his ear: "Why did you just lie to me?"

Will winced, completely caught off guard by the question. Almost instinctively he became defensive. "What, I didn't-"

"In one of El's letters she wrote about the picture, Will." The young Byers-boy froze as he realized what was about to come. He had fucked it up. But the same time as his heartbeat started to quicken, he felt Mike's fingers on his arm starting to move. To… caress him? "She told me back then that you're working on something. Something big. And that she didn't know for whom it was. She suspected it was for a girl." He paused for a second. "El didn't commission anything, Will, I know that."

Even though his words could have been understood as offensive, as an accusation, the touch on Will's arm could not. And Will was confused, to say the least. He was entirely sure now that the movement of Mike's hand wasn't unintentional. He was actually caressing him. What the…? They had always had a friendship in which physical contact wasn't a forbidden thing. The hugged, they often sat close to each other. But caressing, that was new. And even more surprising, considering the fact that they were sitting in a car with two other guys.

"I-, I-…", Will started to stutter. "I was afraid you could take it the wrong way…"

"Which way?", Mike breathed in Will's ear which made the other boy shudder.

"I-, I thought, I mean…" Will had to pull himself together because the whole situation made his head spin. "I feared you may think that I have… romantic feelings for you. I mean, it's not the typical gift for a best friend."

"It's the most beautiful present I ever got", Mike just said. This time, Will turned around to look him in the eyes and – to his horror – recognized how close their faces were. He could count every single freckle on Mike's skin. Maybe he should do that, Will thought, just to make sure he wouldn't lose his mind.

"It is?", he whispered instead.

Mike smiled. "Of course, you silly. It's awesome. I don't know how to thank you…" And Will could swear that he felt Mike pulling him a little closer.

"You don't have to. I'm happy that you like it."

A moment of silence.

"Do you?" Now it was Mike's turn to hide the little trembling in his voice.

"Do what?", Will asked blankly.

"I mean, like, …have romantic feelings for me…"

That was the second time Will was caught off guard. And he couldn't prevent his body from stiffening. The frankness of Mike's question was too much to handle.

"I-…", he managed to say before his voice broke. In an instant, his eyes were filled with tears again. "I don't know what to say…", he whimpered.

It was the moment when Mike lifted his hand from his arm. But instead of leaving Will, the fingers just found their way up to his head where they started to run gently through his brown hair. "It's okay, Will. Relax. How about the truth?", Mike said quietly. "Friends don't lie."

It was weird in every sense. Everything in him screamed at Will not to say it. To lie once more. To keep his secret hidden. But then there was Mike. The warmth of his body. The tenderness of his touch. The way he spoke – not judgmental, not aggressive, not rejecting. Just curious.
And finally, Will's shield crumbled.

"For years…"

Again, there was silence. But only that. Their position didn't change a bit, Mike's hand didn't stop to stroke his hair.

"Wow…", he finally breathed out.

When Will was sure that his best friend didn't intend to say more, he again turned his head to face him. "You don't hate me now? You don't think I'm a freak?"

Mike smiled. "Does this feel like I hate you?", he asked.

And the other boy couldn't believe what just happened. This must be a dream. It just couldn't be true. And indeed, Will not only couldn't believe it. He didn't.

"But…", he stammered. "I don't understand…"

"Me neither…" Mike replied. "…but it feels damn right."

"Mike", Will finally managed to pull himself out of Mike's embrace, leaned back in his seat and looked at his best friend sceptically. "Please, of all possible times, don't make fun of me now…"

Mike withstood his gaze, then shook his head energetically. "I'm far from making jokes, Will, you have to believe me." He sighed. "It's just…, everything's become so complicated, you know? My brains are wrecked, so I just thought it would be wiser to trust my heart."

Will looked at him, puzzled. "I don't think I can follow."

Mike buried his face in heads for a moment, with his fingers rubbing his temples. "Aww, Will, where should I even start?" He sighed a second time, then pushed himself a little closer to Will again, obviously seeking the closeness of his friend. He swallowed hard, then pulled himself together visibly and turned to Will. "Since you all moved away from Hawkins, everything felt so...different. I felt different. Lonely. Lost. Incomplete. I don't know exactly how to describe it. At first, I was convinced that it was only just me missing El." He looked down at his hands.

"Didn't you miss her?"

"Of course, I did", Mike instantly replied. "But the more days passed, the more I became confused." Before he spoke on, Mike lifted his head and looked at Will almost shyly. "Because what I felt wasn't new to me at all, Will. In fact, it was the exact same feeling I had when you had been lost in the Upside Down."

Will thought to see Mike's eyes getting watery and this was enough to make his eyes burn too.

"That's why I didn't write you any letters, why I called so rarely. Because those feelings scared the shit out of me, Will. I thought, maybe if I avoid you, everything will become clearer to me." A single tear run down Mike's cheek. "It's not like I did want to break off contact with my best friend, it's like I had to."

Will fought hard against his own emotions. "And did it help?", he gulped out.

"Well, in a way, I'm-, I'm not sure exactly. You know, I tried to handle it the way every left behind boyfriend would handle it. Write letters to El, call her frequently. For a while I thought to have ruled it out. But…"

Mike made the final move to close the gap between them, so finally, they sat side by side again, their arms and legs pressed together.

"…every time I went to bed there was this nagging feeling again. That feeling when you really, like really, miss someone. And with every passing day I was more convinced that it wasn't about me missing El in the first place. But about you…"

Will felt a wave of happiness rushing through him before Mike continued.

"…and now everything's beginning to make sense, I guess. Why I couldn't write "Love" on my letters to El, why I couldn't say it to her. Why I was so incredibly happy when you just gave me that picture…"

Now, for the first time since the beginning of their conversation, it was Will's turn to make a move. Overwhelmed by everything he just had heard he lowered his head to the left and rested it on Mike's shoulder.

"But Mike", he whispered, "for all I know, you are not like me. You're not", he hesitated for a second, "gay."

"Yeah, don't think so, right", Mike agreed. "On the other hand, never thought about it before, to be honest." He shrugged his shoulders which made Will's head bounce a little. "Maybe I like both." Then he breathed out loud. "Hell, why does it matter anyway? I like you. That's what I know for sure. And that's all that matters."

And with that, Mike took Will's hand in his own and let their fingers intertwine. It was enough to send the other boy's small rest of self-control over the edge. His head still resting on Mike's shoulder, Will burst into tears of relief and happiness.

"I can't believe this is finally happening", he finally managed to choke out between two sobs.

Mike just squeezed his hand and gave him a loving smile. Then after a moment of silence, he nodded to himself and mumbled: "Definitely the best decision of my life to talk to you on that swing back then…"

"Mine too."

Then, with his left hand, Mike grabbed Will's painting and put it in his lap. "But there's a problem", he stated. "As much as I like this masterpiece, I'm afraid you have to make a new one." Will turned his head and looked at Mike confused, thick, salty drops still running down his cheeks. Mike just grinned, then pointed at his image. "I feel a little lonely there in the forefront. I would prefer to have you by my side."

Will couldn't supress a chuckle. "And I would love to paint it."

Then he rested his head on Mike's shoulder again and closed his eyes, enjoying…well, enjoying just everything.

And again, Will missed the look of his brother who was watching the two boys through the rear mirror. Only this time, in Jonathan's eyes there was no concern at all.

The yellow pizza bus continued to rumble through the desert of Nevada.
Its interior was still hot, stuffy and not very comfortable.
But right now, for 14 year old Will Byers it was the most wonderful place on earth.