"The thorn easily removed from the blossoming flower of our lives."
Her hand resting on the doorknob, Kate freezes as she hears Lord Bridgerton utter those words coldly.
The thorn. That is how he sees me, she thinks. An obstacle in his way to fulfilling his duty and living a perfectly content life with his intended, his diamond, as he had set out from the start. She had convinced herself that perhaps what was between them was more than lust, but now she was not so certain. For even in these precarious circumstances, such a choice of words was so harsh she felt them deflate her very soul.
She had come back to speak with Edwina again and had hoped, somewhat vainly, that she could explain. And silently prayed that Edwina could understand that she did not choose this fate. For her, loving him came as naturally as her next breath. She could not help it any more than she could deny herself air. Except upon her return, she heard voices and as she approached, she realized it was Lord Bridgerton, no doubt pleading with Edwina to continue on with their botched wedding. To save his honor, his family's reputation, the very Bridgerton name.
And when she heard him utter those words, she felt herself grow incredibly sad, then sick, and then finally numb. She felt nothing at all. She vaguely heard Lord Bridgerton continue on that she would have no role in their lives, and she almost laughed humorlessly at just how quickly she had been cast aside. Not just by Anthony, but by her mama and Edwina too. All those late nights pouring over her family's financial situation, drafting and redrafting that dreadful letter to the Sheffields. Teaching herself and then Edwina every language and dance possible. Imprinting upon her the importance of etiquette in this stuffy society. Giving up every hope and aspiration she may have ever had regarding her own future match and family, perhaps even love. Without a thought, she had meticulously planned her life around securing Edwina's and mama's future.
And so easily, she had been sent away while her mama cooed over Edwina's fleeting heartbreak. For while scandal might mar the Sharmas and Bridgertons for a bit, it would not last forever. The Ton would soon sink their teeth into the next scandal and this would be but a distant memory, perhaps gossiped about occasionally when the scandal well ran dry every so often. But Edwina would recover. She would find a match, perhaps even an actual love match, one that Kate had initially tried to insist upon and had been promptly ignored and talked over. But Edwina was not heartbroken over Anthony, not truly. Not the way Kate was. For while Edwina dreamed of life at Aubrey Hall, hosting dinner parties and throwing balls, Kate had fallen asleep at night dreaming of the way Anthony's lips curled up slightly when they would argue, the genuine, hearty laugh he had let out during their tumble in the mud that echoed in her mind. She thought of long afternoons sipping tea and debating the best strategy for Pall Mall. She dreamed of their children, perhaps they would name a boy Edmund after his late father, and she hoped he would have Anthony's thick brown hair and her eyes.
Their love and visions for the future were not the same. And while there was no right answer, there was certainly one that had been worth fighting for. And Anthony had chosen wrong, again. So why should she keep fighting? For a man or for a family that was not hers, had never truly belonged to her to begin with. And with that thought, Kate let her hand fall from the door, turned on her heel and left.
She could still have a future. A happy one, perhaps even filled with love or at least a companionship. A match based in friendship and respect, but a future worthy of living nonetheless. For love could grow out of such circumstances, so long as it was tended to accordingly, Kate was sure of that. As she walked down the grand staircase, through the wide entrance and out into the courtyard, she felt the many eyes of the Ton staring at her, starving for answers. As she continued on without meeting a singular glance, she felt a soft smile grace her features. For the first time ever, she was truly free.