"Geez, don't do that!" I said to the Elf as I waited for my heart to go back down my throat where it belonged. I sheathed my sword and dropped the shield, replacing the leather sleeve on my hook.

"You have my apologies, my lady," The Elf said and bowed. Two more golden-haired Elves dropped out of the tree behind him. The three were clad similarly in matching light beige trousers and tunics, and shirts of varying shades of gold. All three had white longbows, intricately carved, and full quivers of long white arrows.

"Gîl síla erin lû e-govaded vín, i eneth nín Elaura [S. A star shines upon the hour of our meeting, my name is Elaura]," I said and bowed.

"Mae govannen! [S. Well met!]" he said, obviously startled at my ability to speak Sindarin. "I am Haldir, marchwarden of the Galadhrim of Lothlórien. These are my brothers, Rúmil and Orophin. They do not understand the Common Speech."

"Mae govannen, [S. Well met] Rúmil, Orophin," I replied and bowed to them. "I understand Sindarin, but your accent is unfamiliar to me, I humbly request that you speak slowly to me."

Haldir relayed my request to them and they greeted me and bowed. Then Haldir spoke again, "Let us not tarry on this side of the river. Our boats are this way, come."

"I need to get something out of my boat." I turned and left the shield in the canoe and grabbed my pack and the white arrow. When I turned back to the Elves I held out the arrow in my right hand, "I believe this belongs to you?" Rúmil smiled and took it from my hand, his eyes lingered on my hook and his smile faded.

I followed Haldir and his brothers to two small grey boats. Haldir and I got into one and Rúmil and Orophin boarded the other. Haldir and Orophin paddled while Rúmil stood watch with his bow ready. He seemed to be looking in all directions at once.

"Haldir, I can paddle if you need to stand guard," I said and reached out for the oar.

He looked hesitant but handed it to me. "Follow my brothers, my lady," he replied and stood with his bow.

I did and we reached the other side quickly. I got the feeling Haldir was a little surprised I was able to control the boat against the current and keep up with the others. Actually, I was more than a little surprised myself. I wouldn't have been able to do it when I arrived in Middle Earth; my arms had strengthened in my training with Gimli. I'll bet I could max out my PT now.

I followed the other boat into a hidden inlet. Orophin pulled the canoe onto the shore effortlessly and helped me step out. He was on the right side of the boat and I took his hand with my right one and again I noticed a lingering glance at my hook.

Orophin saw that I caught him staring and said quickly, "Goheno nín, híril nín [S. Forgive me, my lady]."

"Ú-moe edaved [S. It is not necessary to forgive]," I replied and smiled.

"Manen [S. How]?" he asked as we followed Haldir into the forest.

"Nago-flingil [S. Spider bite]," I replied, not really wanting to go into the whole story right then and not having the vocabulary to do it anyway.

"Nae, gerich naergon nín [S. Alas, you have my expression of deep regret]," Orophin said with a sigh.

"Nad dithen [S. (it is) Just a little thing]," I said and shrugged.

We stopped for a moment and Haldir spoke quickly to his brothers. They bowed and disappeared into the trees. Then he spoke to me, "I am to take you directly to Caras Galadhon; the Lady wishes to speak with you. Let me know when you need to rest."

I nodded and we continued deeper into the wood. The mellyrn were more beautiful than I could've imagined. Their white trunks grew straight and tall like alabaster pillars. Their branches grew straight out from the trunks and burst into great bouquets of golden leaves at the ends. The tops were almost higher than I could see, but appeared to split at the trunk with another bloom of leaves at the canopy.

Haldir moved soundlessly and I walked as quietly as I could. The wind in the trees was musical and the air was sweet and warm. There was little wildlife to be seen on the ground; only an occasional chameleon, or the cotton tail of a bunny hopping away. I got the feeling most of the business of this forest was conducted in the canopy, even by the critters.

As I've said before, I'm a terrible judge of distance, but it felt like we'd gone at least five miles into the wood without a single stone to mark our way when we finally approached the city.

I saw under my feet a path. It began as leaf-covered dirt and slowly widened into a treeless expanse that ran in a huge circle and appeared to go all the way around a high green wall. Circling the wall was a crystal clear moat that separated the golden afternoon sunlight and projected it onto the wall, a rippling waterfall of color. The grass that ran to the brink of the water was lush and green.

Beyond the wall rose a grass-covered hill tightly crowded with mellyrn growing higher than I could see; a gleaming tower of white, bathed in dappled sunlight. The branches of the trees seemed to be woven together so the beginning of one tree was indistinguishable from the end of the next.

Haldir led me in silence along a white stone path leading south around the outer edge of the moat. I was glad he was not speaking because I couldn't find my voice. As I followed him, I stared in wonder with my mouth open at the beautiful city.

At length we came to a white bridge. What I first took to be vines carved in the wood were actually living, twining branches. The bridge was not made from a tree, it was a tree, alive and coaxed to grow in an arc over the clear water from the inside of the circle.

We passed over the bridge around the edge of the great green wall into a passage where the two walls overlapped. At the near end of the passage were the gates of the city. Haldir knocked and spoke and the gates opened without a sound.

He led me inside and the tall, sturdy gates swung closed behind us. The passage between the walls continued on for a short distance and when we exited, Haldir turned to me and said proudly, "Behold, Caras Galadhon!"

"It's beautiful," I whispered reverently as if I had entered a great cathedral. I had yet to see another Elf, but I heard singing from above that drenched me in harmony that so far outshone the fullest Gregorian chants I had ever heard that I thought it would lift me to the gates of Heaven.

Haldir nearly had to pull me along the paths and up the many staircases. Whenever I would stop to listen he would gently remind me to keep walking with a smile and a soft, "Tolo, aphado nín [S. Come, follow me]."

We came to a wide glade, high up on the hill. In the middle of it rose a glittering white stone fountain, which emptied into a large silver bowl. The bowl then spilled over into a stream lined with sparkling white stones.

On the southern side of the glade was an enormous mallorn. Its trunk was easily as large as a California Redwood, but it was as smooth as glass and a pure, silky grey. It was taller than any tree I had seen so far and when I shaded my eyes to look to the canopy all I could see was a cloud of golden leaves.

Beside the tree stood a wide white ladder and three Elves in grey chain mail. Each link appeared to be faceted and the reflection of the sun off their bodies dazzled my eyes. They also wore long white cloaks. All three had hair in varying shades from gold to silver, though the silver did not appear to be from age. Haldir spoke to them and one of the Elves answered him. They were speaking quietly and fast and I didn't pick any of it up.

When they were finished with their conversation, Haldir turned to me, his eyebrows raised, "The Lady is waiting for you." He gestured behind me and I turned.

Standing by the fountain was Galadriel, the Lady of Lothlórien. I could see Haldir was surprised she was already in the glade and that we had walked right past her, but I knew she hadn't been there before.

I immediately dropped to one knee with my head bowed. I swallowed hard and stared at the grass, waiting for her to speak. She said nothing and suddenly I was looking at her bare ivory feet. I felt her long, cool fingers cup my chin and raise my face to hers. I looked into her eyes, they were timeless and yet seemed to hold the starlight of millennia. She smiled the kind expression of a mother looking on her own baby for the very first time.

I heard her voice, like the fall of rain on crystal, deep inside my head, "You have traveled a long road through time and space to bring wisdom and hope to the wisest of Arda so that we may give counsel and comfort to those who must do great and terrible deeds. It is no accident that you have come to Laurelindórnan [Archaic Elvish for Lothlórien]. Though you have answers to many of my questions, I have no answers for you. Perhaps you may find the answers you seek in my mirror; do you dare to look?"

I swallowed hard again and barely nodded, holding her gaze though I felt naked in front of her. She broke the gaze and I stood.

Galadriel looked to Haldir, who stepped forward and removed my knife, harness, belt, hook, and glove. I felt no reason to question this at the time, though now I suspect she believed it was possible that what I might see in the mirror would have driven me mad enough to use my weapons against the Elves or myself. Why Haldir took my glove, I learned soon enough.

She led me wordlessly past the three guards and behind the great tree. Down the southern slope of the hill we walked, her feet barely touched the ground and her upper body showed no sign of movement. She wore a white dress of flowing chiffon and silk and her golden hair was long and loose. As the sun set, her skin took on an ethereal glow. I followed as if in a dream.

We continued along the path of the white stream until we reached a tall hedge; we passed through a narrow opening in the hedge into a small, treeless garden. I followed her down a long stair opposite the opening in the hedge. At the bottom of the steps, she walked to a low stone sculpture carved in the shape of a mallorn; in its stone branches was nestled a silver basin. Hanging from an outstretched branch by its handle was a silver pitcher.

I looked up and saw a single star shining down on the basin and the water of the stream above issued from the wall. Galadriel took the pitcher and filled it from the stream. Then she poured the water into the basin up to the very edge and blew across the surface. When the ripples ceased, she turned to me and nodded.

I stepped up to the basin and just as I bent my head to look, she spoke, "Do not touch the water."

I nodded and pulled my hair back and secured it with the leather and stick again. Then I gazed into the mirror.

At first I saw nothing but the reflection of the star above, then blackness. The next thing I recognized was the face of my mother, happy and glowing as if I had just come home from leave. Then my stepfather carrying my favorite cake, his face lit up with joy. Next was my brother, wearing his beret, saluting with a broad grin. Then my uncle laughing.

The next image I saw was Legolas, sitting alone in a dimly lit hall weeping, with Gimli standing distraught by his side, his hand on Legolas' shoulder.

Then the mirror showed me my mother again, her face thin and drawn with grief. In turn, the faces of my stepfather, my uncle and my brother reflected in the mirror, all stricken and confused.

Then Legolas again, this time he was laughing; he had two children on his knees. One, a boy, held a toy spider and the other, a girl, clutched a teddy bear. The children had my hair.

I stepped back from the mirror then, blinking back tears of rage. "How?" I demanded. "How can the Valar give me a choice like this? It isn't right! It isn't fair!" I turned and ran back up the stairs, stumbling and cursing. I felt like I was suffocating in the deep, dark hole and I had to get out and as far away from there as I could just to breathe.

When I got back up to the garden I ran out on the opposite side from where Galadriel and I had entered. I was on the level of the gate and I ran towards it, in my hysteria I pounded on the door begging and crying to be let out. The gates did not open and I fell to my knees, sobbing. "It's not fair, it's just not fair." I repeated over and over through my tears and buried my face in my hands.

I felt something then, a cool breeze against my face. I opened my eyes and again saw Galadriel's perfect ivory toes. I looked up at her, my eyes still blurry with unshed tears. She smiled again, the same motherly smile, and held out her hand. Without thinking, I held out my scarred right hand and she lifted me gently. Her hand felt cool and warm at the same time and the ethereal glow enveloped mine.

We stood there for a moment. I looked up into her eyes like a child who had scraped her knee. I felt the light caress of her mind, "You have been given a rare gift, a chance to see two paths each with joy and sorrow. Know too that neither is a certainty. Let your heart lead you and you may avoid the sorrow of either path, turn away from your heart and you may find sorrow no matter which destiny you choose. The Valar do not wrap their gifts in evil tidings, though even one such as I cannot always fathom their ways. Come."

She turned and I followed her back up the hill the way we came. We did not stop at the fountain; we passed Haldir, who was still standing next to my weapons, and the three Elven guards and climbed the white ladder. She led me up and up to a talan [S. wooden platform ('flet' in the Common Speech)] halfway up the tree. She stopped then and led me into a bedchamber.

"Sleep, child. You will be refreshed with the dawn and all will be bright and new again," she said and disappeared into the canopy above.

I still felt her warmth in the palm of my hand and I looked down at it. The blackened flesh was glowing white and the pink scar had faded to a thin line; I felt a tingling in my pinkie. I lay down on the soft cushions of the bed and was asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. Once again, I dreamt of flying.

When I opened my eyes it was a new day. The morning sun was shining through the leaves above my chamber and I could hear the Elves singing to the dawn. I couldn't help but be happy; the strains of the music compelled me to be joyful. I sighed contentedly and wondered what day it was. I couldn't remember the last time I had slept so peacefully and woke up so refreshed.

I lay there in the bed thinking. My mind was very clear for a change and I had a lot to consider. First thing was sorting out my apologies to Galadriel for acting like a spoiled child. I felt like she'd given me a wonderful present and I threw it back in her face because it wasn't what I wanted. That'll probably have to wait until she sends for me. I don't think it would be appropriate for me to just climb the ladder and show up unannounced.
My right hand tingled a little when I thought of Galadriel. I held it up in front of me so that the sunlight shone on it. My signet ring was still on my finger, though for the life of me I couldn't figure out how Haldir had removed my glove without taking it off first. The back of my hand looked the same, but when I turned it over I saw that what I had seen the night before was not an illusion. The black tattooing was gone and the pink shiny scar had healed to a thin line that almost looked more like a wrinkle.

My pinkie was also longer. It still had only one joint, but the end of it had grown to where the last joint under the fingernail would have been. Amazingly, speaking of fingernails, a very small, almost baby-sized nail had grown on the little tapered tip of finger. I flexed the finger and it was no longer tight or sensitive. In fact, although I hadn't worn my glove since Haldir removed it the night before, my wrist wasn't aching either.

My hand actually looked as if I had been born with only two fingers and a thumb, and if not for the very straight wrinkle in my palm and the diminutive size of my pinkie, it looked normal.

I marveled at my hand for a bit, and then I thought about the images I saw in the mirror and what Galadriel had said about them. Maybe I misinterpreted them? What if they were out of order? One thing I do know is that if I have a choice, to stay or go back, my mother would KILL me if she found out I left the love of my life and the possibility of happiness and children to save her from grief. If only I could get a message to her, just to tell her I'm okay.

There's no doubt that my leaving would hurt Legolas, but I'm going to leave him anyway . . . I'll die, long before he's ready for it. On the other hand, if we have children, at least he won't be alone and he'll have two very good reasons not to let himself fade.

All that consideration was assuming I would have a choice. Since I didn't know for sure, I let Galadriel be my guide. "Let your heart lead you . . ." she said. Okie dokie. I can do that. At that moment, I dropped my hand to my side and caught a whiff of myself. And right now, my heart is leading me to a bath, whew!

I glanced around the talan and saw my pack, though there was no sign of my weapons, hook or glove. I sat up and looked at the room for the first time. The floor and walls were tightly woven branches, smooth on the surface and velvety, but alive. The ceiling was golden leaves. There were openings in the walls, natural windows and a door also made of closely gathered living branches.

There was no furniture in the flet; the bed was actually a thick down mattress laid directly on the floor. It was covered in marvelously soft cushions and a light coverlet of grey velvet. I rolled to the edge of the mattress and felt the floor with my hand. It was as soft as it looked so I took off my boots. I was quite warm, so I took off my jacket and tunic as well.

I stood then, wondering whether or not I would be assigned a guard or guide. As if on cue, the door opened and Galadriel stood in the doorway. The sun filtering down through the leaves made her hair glow like a river of molten gold flowing down her back.

She smiled and spoke, "You wish to be clean again." It was not a question. "Bring your bag and follow me."

"My lady, I want to apologize for . . ."

"There is no need to apologize, Elaura. I have seen uncounted warriors weep at what the mirror has shown them. No one sees and remains unchanged."

"Still, I shouldn't . . ." She continued smiling and the words died in my throat. "I mean, thank you. I needed to see, but your words were what I needed most."

"Come, we have much to discuss," she replied and I picked up my pack and followed her to the ladder.

The strap on my pack had been mended and I put it over my shoulder. It was then that I thought of my water skin; I hadn't seen it since I was in Beorn's boat. I couldn't remember Haldir removing it; for that matter, I didn't remember putting down my pack either.

I began to think that maybe I hadn't been completely conscious from the moment I entered Lothlórien. Everything in Caras Galadhon had a dreamy quality, it was quite possible I became a part of that dream the second I set foot in the Lady's realm.

When we reached the bottom of the ladder the three guards stood and bowed. She took my right hand in hers and we walked side-by-side through the dewy grass. I didn't feel like I was being led like a child, but like I was walking with a dear girlfriend, the way I had seen so many women walking hand-in-hand in Asia.

"My lady," I began almost in a whisper, "I would've thought you had much more important things to do than take me to the bath. Why didn't you send someone else to accompany me?"

"I do not expect you to understand. I saw the light of the two trees in your eyes. It has been long since I looked upon them and I have never met a mortal who has been possessed of their brilliance."

"You're right, I don't understand."

"You are unique. You are young, yet very old. Wise as a Maia, yet naïve as a Hobbit. I also see that you are both male and female."

I looked down at my travel-stained trousers.

She grinned, "No, not only in your dress, but in your heart as well. There is Eldar in you; we are often thought by mortals to be genderless."

I laughed at that, "To hear Gimli talk I've got to be part Dwarf, too."

"Probably," she stated simply. "Orc as well." The grin did not leave her face, but my laughter stopped. "Do not fear the darkness in you," she said when she saw my brows furrow. "You draw strength and understanding from all that you are."

We were halfway down the eastern slope of the hill by then and approaching a level area with a tall hedge similar to the one surrounding the garden on the southern slope.

She continued to speak as we entered through a gate into an enclosed garden, "If, as you believe, we are your past, then you are our future. You are a representation of all the races of Arda."

"Can I assume then, that you know everything about me?"

"You laid yourself bare to me as few have done. I know you, even as you do not know yourself."

She stopped at the edge of a small, steaming spring and let go of my hand. I dropped my pack on the grass and she slipped her beautiful white dress off her shoulders. I followed suit, removing my shirt and trousers, then my bra. Though I should have been utterly ashamed to be naked in front of this perfect goddess, I wasn't.

She stepped into the spring and sat on a stone ledge that ran all the way around it. I stepped in after and sat across from her. I could not possibly describe her body, I don't remember now if I even looked at it. The impression the experience left with me was of bathing with an angel, she was the embodiment of purity and light.

End of Chapter 32.

Chapter End Notes:

I've changed a few details from the books, such as the pedestal of Galadriel's mirror. Also, I felt Galadriel would understand Elaura's need for answers and would give her the opportunity to look into the mirror immediately rather than make her wait until the Fellowship arrived.