What is good in the neighborhood? It is your boy, your homie, the one and the only, Eccentric Dez! Welcome back to the Madhouse!

Today, I have returned with new heat! Be sure to like, comment, and subscribe fanfiction-style. With that being said, LET'S GET CRAZY!

My Hero Academia is owned by Kohei Horikoshi.

Here's a life lesson I've learned over the years: life sucks, get over it. No matter how much good you do in this life, you still get screwed over.

Hi, my name's Izuku Midoriya. You may recognize my name from the several million different My Hero Academia fanfiction stories. Here's a hint: I'm getting fucked in most of them, mostly by my childhood-friend-turned-bully Katsuki Bakugou.

Yeah, if you've just started watching My Hero Academia, here's something you need to know. Most of the fandom thinks me and Bakugou should be together because "we look good together." Yeah you've seen the show. You understand how toxic that relationship is, right?

Anyway, now that we've gotten that out of the way, I've got a story to tell. One of heartbreak, vengeance, rebirth, loss, basically everything Deadpool is before Disney somehow fucks it up.

And it all started with a visit to the doctor.

Every person remembers the day life decides to pistol-whip them in the balls with a chainsaw. Mine started at the age of four, in the doctor's off- Wait, what?

You have to explain the Quirk thing.

The fuck? Why?

How are they gonna know why you're in the doctor's office?

They watched the got-damned anime! They should know already!

I told him that! He wants the explanation.

sigh*

The fuck you sighing for? I'm the one who has to write it.

Okay, fine. What Eccentric Dez is talking about is the Quirk.

Basically, 100 years ago, people started getting rare abilities called Quirks. Now, 80% of the world's population has Quirks and they received them at a young age. You can choose to be a hero or a villain.

Of course, that means 20% of the world's population is Quirkless. Why is that important? We'll see in a second.

IS THAT GOOD ENOUGH?

Yes, and I can do without the attitude.

You could also do without that hairline!

So what I'm hearing is that you want me to erase you from existence?

…I'll be good.

Uh-huh.

…punk-ass…

What was said?

…

Yeah, that's what I thought.

Anyways, I'm sitting in the doctor's office with my mother, awaiting the news on what Quirk I'd get. My mother and my father both had amazing Quirks. So it was clear I would get a combination of their Quirks. Right?

Suddenly, the door opened and the doctor walked holding my file. In that file was the answer to everything. I watched with childlike wonder at the doctor's grim facade, intently watching as he opened the file to my future, and opened his mouth to form the four words I'd been waiting to hear!

"Sorry, kid, you're Quirkless."

I froze up as my brain shattered into a million pieces. Quirkless? There's no way I could possibly be Quirkless.

"What," my mother said in surprise. "There's no way Izuku could be Quirkless. His father and I both have excellent Quirks."

See?

"I'm sorry, Mrs Midoriya, but the file says he's Quirkless. Take a look at this x-ray." The doctor put an X-ray of my feet on the screen and pointed to my pinky toe. "Notice how Izuku only has two joints in his pinky toe? Well, a person who has a Quirk usually has one joint. So that means Izuku will never develop a Quirk."

Izuku will never develop a Quirk.

Hold up a second, Dez. Readers, does that explanation sound like bullshit to you? Think about it. Having a double-jointed pinky toe means you're Quirkless? Do you know how rare it is to have a double jointed toe?

Well, 20% of the world population have double joints in real life. So you're not far off. But it's not common for toes. Especially pinky toes.

MY POINT EXACTLY!!!!

So what you're saying is the theory of the doctor stealing your original Quirk could be true…

Come again?

I'll explain later.

Okay… Anyways, we came home in a somber mood. To try and cheer me up, Mom decided to put on my favorite YouTube video of All Might saving people on a crashed train.

All Might embodies everything I thought superheroes were: super-strong, super-fast, and always saving people with a smile. I smiled as he stood on the train, carrying three people and laughing triumphantly.

Then he said, "Citizens, never fear! Why? Because I am here!!!"

Tears rolled down my cheeks as I remembered what the doctor said. Izuku will never develop a Quirk. I turned to see my parents standing in the doorway in a somber mood, their eyes on me. "Mom, Dad, can I be a hero?"

My father stepped forward and pulled me into a hug. "Son," he said, tearfully. "I don't care what that doctor said. Quirk or not, you'll be a great hero."

Mom walked over to me and hugged me. "And know that no matter what, we will always support you."

I smiled, then cried again as they hugged me tighter.

"Izuku, I know something that'll cheer you up." Mom chirped.

"What's that?"

"I'm making your favorite dinner tonight!"

"Yaaaay! Katsudon!!!"

A man by the name of Waderow Winston Wilson once said, "Life is an endless series of train wrecks with only brief commercial-like breaks of happiness." Well, as luck would have it, my next train was leaving the station and the countdown to my regularly scheduled program had just begun.

I was lying in bed after one of the best family dinners I'd ever had, slowly drifting to sleep, when I suddenly heard a loud crash. I jolted out of bed and quickly made my way to the living room. My eyes widened at the sight before me.

Blood. Fire. Destruction. And three bodies in the middle of all of it. My parents, lying on the floor, and a bleeding woman with a glowing blue blade standing over them. "You took him from me," she sobbed. "Now burn in hell."

"Mom? Dad?" I breathed. The woman turned around as blood and tears ran down her face.

"Hello, little one," she said, a creepy smile forming on her face. "Who are you?"

Run, little dude, RUN!!!

I begin to run for the exit. She's injured and limping, there's no way she can catch up, right? She throws her blade at me. I duck and it impaled through the wall. I blinked and she stood in front of me, throwing a kick that sent me flying back, skidding into a wall of the living room.

"Where are you going, little buddy," she said, an unhinged smile. "Don't you wanna join your parents?"

I tried to scramble to my feet, but fear took me over. Tears start to run down my face as the woman gets closer, lifting her blade.

"Well, I guess this is it," I thought. "This is how I die. Leaving the world the same way I came in: useless and crying."

I close my eyes and await the final blow when suddenly, the sound of breaking glass enters the room. Instead of Stone Cold Steve Austin, however, a white-haired woman kicks through the window, slamming into the attacker and sending her into the wall. The woman slumps to the floor, out cold.

I look up at my savior, recognizing her immediately. The highest-ranking female Pro Heroine, The Rabbit Hero: Miruko.

She turns towards my parents and lowers her head. "Dammit, I was too late. Izuku, right? Are you okay? Izuku?"

You know that space between perception and reality that only happens in moments of tragedy? The unthinkable has happened but your brain tries to convince you it's some horrible nightmare you have yet to wake up from. But the more you blink, the faster reality seeps in, and that nightmare comes alive. You don't realize the world has continued to move because your vision is focused on the horror in front of you and anything beyond it becomes distorted.

It wasn't until Miruko kneeled in front of me that I was pulled from that void. I noticed the tears in her eyes.

"I'm so sorry," she said, pulling me into a hug. "I should've been faster. I'm so sorry."

It was then I began to cry.

The funeral was a blur. I remember holding Miruko's hand the entire time, the both of us silently shedding tears for my parents. It turned out she was a friend of my mom's. My father was a retired Pro Hero and my mother was one of the best nurses in Musutafu. It was completely expected for several Pro Heroes and Heroines to attend. All Might even showed up and said some things about my father.

The next few months were spent with Rumi (Miruko's real name) as she fought for my custody. In my mother's will, I would live with Rumi should the unthinkable happen to her and Dad. However, the government contested the will due to Rumi being a Pro Hero. It took some time but eventually, Rumi became my mother. And a few months later I became used to living with Rumi.

I still missed my parents. I would mourn for their deaths silently, away from the public eye. I decided in order to not have people worry about me, that I would put on a smile. Hopefully, that would alleviate the typical questions: "How are you feeling?" and "Are you okay?"

Meanwhile, news of my parents passing and my Quirklessness spread like wildfire, and all sympathy for me went out the window after a week, to be replaced with bullying. The ringleader of all this was my former friend, Katsuki Bakugou, who found a hobby in beating me up and wearing down my self-esteem.

But through all this, I continued to put on a smile and found creative ways to hide my bruises from Rumi. I suspected she knew but she hadn't questioned me on it.

And just when I thought the train wreck that was currently my life had slowly stopped crashing, another one rolled into it. This one was labeled "unknown fatal sickness." One moment I was getting lunch in the cafeteria, the next I was lying in a hospital bed. The doctors couldn't figure out what was wrong with me and in retrospect, I think when they found out I was Quirkless, they just refused to try. The only thing they could tell me was that I had two years left to live.

It would be the third time in a very short period that my dream died and it would be the first and only time I died with it.

Ok, guys, that's gonna do it for this chapter! Please be sure to like, comment, and subscribe fanfiction-style! I do encourage you to review and I will try to respond to as many as I can. And until next time, Madhouse vibes forever!