**so sorry I've been MIA. I really try to write but I never have inspiration or time anymore, sadly. Fortunately, Taylor's new album fueled some creativity and I was able to churn this out pretty quickly. I hope you like it!
Midnight Rain - Taylor Swift
When the rain at midnight sounds like pebbles pounding against glass windows, she thinks of him; the boy she loved in the town she hated. Nathan Scott. She thinks of him now as she stares out into the damp abyss of another lonely city. Her eyes trace the trail of a single rain drop gliding down the large window pane overlooking the blurred streets.
She remembers how it was raining when he first kissed her at sixteen, back when she swore she'd never allow anyone to have access to the heart she kept hidden. But when he showed up with his slanted smile and haunting blue eyes, Haley James found a wonderland in the midst of a wasteland. She remembers how his cradling palms felt against her wet cheeks, as she clung to him like an umbrella despite being soaked from the summer storm. She remembers the feeling of her heart, how it floated weightlessly without wings when his lips lapped against her tongue like sailboat swept by a gentle current.
Haley remembers wanting to stand out in the rain forever- how ironic it was that sunshine never felt as happy. She wanted it to rain everyday if it meant being in his arms while the rest of the world floated away.
She remembers how the rain pelted the metal roof of his car while they lay wrapped up tangled in the back seat, sweating, panting, steaming. Nathan stared into her soul, another summer come and gone, begging her to stay. She remembers how she told him she would. The shadow of his smile still steals her peaceful sleeps.
Her eyes lose sight of the raindrop as it melts or morphs into another. She wonders how far rain could fall if it weren't for gravity- but the fleeting moment of contemplation disappears as more memories of Nathan Scott permeate the forefront of her mind.
This happens every time it rains and on midnights when she can't sleep. The ghost of his body lay between cold sheets. And sometimes when she walks down memory lane, he's standing at the end- in front of the house they once talked of buying, as faceless kids sprint through the sand, laughing- but then the dream fades into a nightmare, and the woman he's holding isn't her. Instead, she's up on stage, the life she chose, strumming her guitar in a crowded room that still feels empty. In an echo of voices shouting her name, she'll forever strain to hear his.
Regret now feels like rain; she's drenched in it. There's one memory she wishes she could forget- or maybe relive it to change the ending. He's on his knee, a shaky grin, eyes wide with hope and promise. A diamond, square and simple, but elegant and enticing, flashes before her. She wasn't expecting it. He says he loves her, she stays silent.
Oh, how she wishes she said yes. Yearns to have told him she loves him, too.
But she didn't. She couldn't.
He didn't know she'd already had plans- tickets to New York, chasing a life of fame, not yet ready for a new last name.
If his eyes had been candles, she'd watched them burn out all in a single second. His smile crumpled like plastic, his heart crippled into carnage. She stood there looking at the wreckage she'd caused.
Years later now and Haley knows she should be happy. She got the life she thought she wanted- every night, a different city. Fame and fans. It's a life she should feel lucky to have, but with it comes a life she'd never have and wanted more.
She'd give it all up now- the luxury wasn't worth losing the love of her life. She knows that now, but didn't back then.
She wonders if he ever thinks of her. If he knows every single song she plays is written about him. If he knows she can't kiss another man without hating herself. If he knows she thinks of him when it rains. Does he see her on TV and change the channel? Or does he stare and smile? Is he happy now? Did he get what he wanted? A wife and a family- a life of simplicity and soccer practice. Suburban streets and cheap beer. Happiness.
Is he haunted, too, by the what could have beens… the what should have beens- if only she had said yes.
A roll of thunder shakes Haley from somberness. She looks at the time on her phone. 12:23 A.M.
She stop thinking and starts pressing the numbers, hoping they're still the same.
Three rings.
Her heart is a hammer.
"Hello?"