Chapter 3: Double O Donut

Caboose and Tucker are watching Sheila and Lopez from the top of Blue Base

Tucker: Man, Lopez and Sheila have been spending a lot of time together.

Caboose: I don't like it. He is not good enough for my Sheila.

Tucker: But they seem happy together.

Caboose: He is a bad influence and he is taking advantage of her because she is young and naive...and delicate.

Tucker: Delicate? She weighs like 200 tons, dude.

Caboose: She is a precious flower.

Tucker approaches Sheila and Lopez

Tucker: Hey guys, I have to ask you a favor. This might sound strange, but I think Caboose is getting kind of jealous of your relationship.

Caboose: *from a distance* Sheila! Come back to me! I made you a muffin!

Tucker: Anyway, could you just try to keep a low profile or something? We don't want some weird, horribly disgusting love triangle.

Sheila: Tucker, I've been speaking with Lopez, and we feel that the machine has been treated unfairly in this canyon.

Tucker: What're you talking about?

Sheila: On a regular basis, we are either being blown up, possessed by spirits, or just left out to rust.

Tucker: Huh?

Lupin came out of Base towards where Tucker was, to see was going on.

Lupin: hey what exactly is going on..?

Sheila: huh I didn't really expect to have some new recruits..

Lupin: hold on a second did that tank just talk!?

Tucker: oh yeah I forgot to mention that this tank of our has an AI called Sheila.

Lupin: I'll explain that and why is Caboose older over there..

Lupin pointing directly at the top level of the base where Caboose was.

Tucker: well let's just say Caboose and Sheila had a bit of a love relationship..

Lupin: I can't believe that is the most idiotic thing ever heard of.. of someone like him to actually be in love with AI..

Sheila: We have decided that until conditions improve, we are not going to help you in your battles.

Tucker: You're kidding, right?

Sheila: *barrel pointing right at Tucker's* face Do I look like I'm kidding?

Lupin: I think you really had pissed her off..

Tucker: yeah certainly seems she's really pissed off..

to Red Base

Sarge: It's very simple. We use a flea flicker maneuver with a run and gun two by two approach, tactical ops will be... aw hell, who am I kidding? Grif, Donut, just go stand in the way of their bullets while me and Simmons 2.0 sneak around back to grab Lopez.

Donut: Sounds like a plan!

Grif: No it doesn't! How about this time we try something that doesn't involve me being shot at or run over.

Simmons: Would electrified be okay?

Grif: No!

Simmons: Well, I'm out of ideas.

Grif: Look, instead of running straight into enemy gunfire like we usually do, why don't we try some reconnaissance this time?

Donut: You mean like spy stuff? That would be cool! I could wear a spy tuxedo-

Sarge: No.

Donut: -with a hidden spy camera-

Simmons: No.

Donut: -inside a tiny spy bow-tie-

Grif: No.

Donut: -or, I could wear a flower on my lapel-

Sarge: I said no!

Donut: -that sprays water in people's faces-

Simmons: Shut up Donut.

Donut: -no, a secret spy liquid, that would be awesome. (he chuckles, everyone stares)

Sarge and Simmons: No!

Grif: Maybe! Uh, I mean, no.

Donut: Oh, come on! I could be Double O Donut.

Simmons: You mean like, Doonut?

Donut: With a license to thrill, or be thrilled!

Sarge: Alright, since you're both so into the idea, Grif, Donut, you're on recon. Find us a way to break into their base, and report back on the double.

Grif: Great, more time alone with the idiot.

Donut: Grif, Grif, Grif, Grif, Grif, Grif! Lets pretend we're wearing super spy jet-packs! *Grif groans* No, no, no, no. Like this. *he makes jet-pack sounds as the scene transitions to a cliff while Donut continues to make jet-pack sounds*

Grif: Hey, can you not stop that for 2 seconds?

Donut: Come on Agent- *he clears his throat to speak with a lower voice* Come on Agent Grif, we've got to hurry if you want to save the princess from the evil goblins.

Grif: What princess? I thought you were pretending to be in a spy movie?

Donut: Look, my secret spy character gets to marry a beautiful princess in a castle, alright? Deal with it!

Grif: Donut, can you go find some higher ground or something?

Donut: But we're on higher ground now.

Grif: Why don't you use your jet-pack to get to the highest ground?

Donut: Good idea! I bet the Blues won't think of that.

Grif: No, if they were that stupid we probably would've won by now.

Donut: Secret Agent Donut, to the rescue! (he makes more jet-pack noises as he runs off)

Grif: I could just shoot him, no one would ever have to know. No one.

Scene cuts to Blue Base. Church is looking out over the canyon, Tucker approaches him

Tucker: Hey Church, we might have a problem.

Church: Is this a new problem, or did Caboose get his head stuck in the freezer again?

Tucker: New one. Sheila and Lopez are now considering leaving to form their own robot army. They said no one would dare oppose them.

Church: What?! Did you try to talk them out of it?

Tucker: No way, I wouldn't dare oppose them!

Lupin: yeah unless you want your whole head to get exploded.

Church: really new guy..

Lupin: you guys got some cool high-tech armor and I don't got into to protect myself from tank bullet.

Church: you know I should keep that noted to command..

Lupin: who exactly is in charge of command..

Church: I have no freaking idea who they are..

the cave Doc is in

Doc: You know, I really think we should try a non-violent approach to resolve this.

O'Malley: I agree, except replace the words "non" with "extremely!" And after the word "violent" include the phrase "blood explosion extraordinaire!" *he laughs evilly. Donut approaches the entrance to the cave.*

Donut: Hey, what's going on in there?

Doc: We can't do this! They're gonna find out! They'll find out about us, the machine, everything! *O'Malley laughs evilly again. Donut gets a little closer*

Donut: What the-! Those voices sound suspicious.

O'Malley: I will rip out their guts and feast on their entrails!

Doc: But I'm a vegetarian!

Donut: Oh, it's that guy whose name I forget. But where's the guy he's talking to?

Doc: We can't just sabotage their equipment. That's rude!

Donut: Sabotage? That doesn't sound too good.

O'Malley: I will devour their hearts and crap out their souls!

Donut: That sounds even worse!

O'Malley: They will all taste oblivion, which tastes just like Red Bull, which is disgusting.

Donut: Whoa!

O'Malley: All will perish! *he laughs evilly again*

Donut: All? That includes me! Oh man, I gotta tell the guys! *he runs away*

Doc: Hello? Who's there? Please help me! I'm scared of myself!

Donut arrives at the cave's exit

Donut: Gotta get back to base! *he begins running away* Back, to base! Oh man, there it is! *he approaches the base* Guys! Hey guys! Where is everybody? I saw something really weird in that cave that... *he sees Sheila* hey, that's cool. When did we get a tank? *also noticing the Fiat as well.* Sweet car even though it doesn't have a turd but I also looks cool whoever actually has good taste and automotives.. Wait a minute, this looks like the store. Except Sarge told me there is no store. *turns around* Oh no!

Caboose and Tucker along with Lupin are pointing their pistols at Donut

Tucker: Oh yeah!

Lupin: so this is one of the red guys..

Grif is watching from the cliff with a sniper

Grif: Oh crap! I knew I should've just shot him! *he turns and runs towards Red Base*

To Be Continued...