Author's Note

Submitting info

Stacked with: By Any Other Name; Snicket Fence

Individual Challenges: Snicket Fence

Representations: Secrets; BC Use

Primary Secondary Bonus Challenges: Spinning Plates; Unwanted Advice; Second Verse (Sneeze Weasel); Chorus (Peddling Pots; Machismo)

Tertiary Generic Bonus Challenges: T3 (Terse, Thimble); CM (N/A); Flouting Regulations (Evolution)

Beta: Aya

Word Count: 976

Sirius sighed deeply as he ate his dinner. There was a frown that graced his features as he munched on his mashed potato. It had been a while since he had taken part in his friend's conversation, and he was surprised they hadn't bugged him about why he hadn't spoken, but thankful at the same.

His eyes narrowed, somewhat suspiciously, at the Slytherin Table. Why? Well, it was their last year at Hogwarts, and his relationship with his brother was far from perfect, but he could tell something was wrong. Regulus was hiding something, and even though Sirius was supposed to not care about him anymore, he couldn't help it.

And he was going to make it his job to find out Regulus's secret.

He didn't care how long it took to do that, but he wasn't going to leave it alone. What if Reg was in danger? What if all of it was his own fault for not being in Slytherin? He could go on and on about his list of all of the wrongs, but he didn't have the energy. Most days he pushed it all back in his mind, in a box, refusing to open it.

"Siri, are you alright?" Remus whispered in his ear, concern written all over his face.

Sirius was about to respond when Regulus up and left the Slytherin Table, with one of his friends Evan Rosier in tow, both chatting quietly.

"Come on," Sirius replied distractedly. He pulled on Remus's robe sleeve, standing up, and abandoning his dinner.

"What?" Remus questioned, clearly confused.

Sirius rolled his eyes as he made a beeline for where he saw Regulus leaving, his pace quickening so they didn't lose him.

"Sirius, tell me what's going on?"

"It's my brother, Remus. He's hiding something, a secret. I can tell," Sirius whispered as they turned into a corridor that lead to the Slytherins common room. Don't ask how he knew that. That was a story for another time.

"Why are you worried? You don't see Regulus concerned about your secrets, do you?" Remus responded, not very tactfully.

Sirius paused, midstep, as he raised his eyebrows at his best friend. His hand unconsciously found its way to Remus's wrist, stroking the wrist while trying not to smile. His heart skipped a beat, as he bit his bottom lip somewhat nervously.

"I'm worried, because what if Regulus is on the wrong side of the war? What if something happened during the summer because I wasn't there to protect him? What if…" Sirius trailed off, shaking his head. They couldn't get distracted. He had to find out if something happened.

"You mean, if he got the mark…?" Remus's eyes shone with worry.

"Let's find him."

It didn't take long after that, with the help of Remus, and their map, they found Regulus in an unused classroom, with Evan. Sirius's hand hovered over the door knob, shaking slightly. He didn't think it would be this easy to find him.

Sirius looked at Remus, and nodded at him, before opening the door.

"Regulus, we need to–" He started, but stopped half-way through. His eyes widened with shock, his mouth parting slightly. There his brother was, no doubt about that, wrapped in the arms of Evan Rosier, kissing him, in a heated embrace.

Sirius covered his eyes straight away, pulling a face, "Okay," He said loudly, "I did not need to see that."

"Sirius!"

He heard chuckling from Remus beside him, and Sirius elbowed him in the ribs. "Don't laugh at this, Remus! That's my little brother! It isn't funny!"

"Alright, you can look now, Sirius. I'm not little anymore. I'm certainly not your brother."

Sirius removed his hand and opened his eyes once again, his heart stinging in pain at the last statement. He kept a neutral expression, and gulped as he tried to think of something to say. Anything to say. But he quickly realised it was too late, it was too late to mend their sibling relationship. He should have realised that, the moment he had run away to the Potters, that was when he had ruined it forever.

"This is what you're hiding?" Sirius asked, bluntly.

It took a moment, but Regulus nodded. "Yes, why, did you think I had done something stupid? Sorry to disappoint."

"Although, it depends what side of the war you're on to whether it's stupid or not," Evan said, before his eyes widened, realising he probably shouldn't have said that.

"Evan, you're an idiot," Regulus stated, rolling his eyes, somewhat fondly.

Sirius paled drastically, once he realised what Evan was implying. He looked to Regulus's left arm, which was covered by his jumper, and his robe.

"You didn't…"

"Don't, Sirius. That's what happens when you aren't there to protect me. When you failed to be the Heir mother and father wanted. This is on you. And you will have to live with that for the rest of your life!" Regulus spat out before storming off. Evan followed behind, while doing a mock salute to both Remus and Sirius as they left.

Sirius didn't notice.

He didn't see anything with the blurriness of the water swelling up in his eyes. Regulus was right. It was his fault. All of it.

But the secret that Sirius was hiding, and had been since he ran away, was that he wouldn't change anything. He wouldn't take it back, or change what happened to his brother. Because without James, without the Potters giving him a welcoming and warm home to be safe in, he wouldn't have known what love was.

He wouldn't have known what it was like to be part of a proper family.

And he and Regulus had lost that, a long time ago.

"It's okay, Siri."

Sirius wrapped his arms around Remus, burrying his face in his neck.

"It's not. It's not okay."