Declaration: I don't own anything. Nothing that follows is original creative work. Everything belongs to the owners of their respective belongings.
Chapter 1.What a surprise !!! NOT!
He would love to say he was surprised. But sadly one of the last things to truly surprise him was how his red headed wife turned into a carbon copy of his mother in law. In retrospect he had it coming. After all he was the One and only ...the one who got screwed in the end that is.
Our friend here was always touted as dark broody and handsome. And honestly he was self aware enought to accept that he was indeed handsome. Dark no sir no!!! he was the master of dark conqueror of light ehhh or was it backwards..meh...he had stopped caring about light and dark for what seemed to him like eons ago.
In his expert and humble opinion the only thing his long and fulfilling life has resulted in was his own brand of bountiful wisdom and twinkling eyes copyrighted as the previous owner was too busy holding a fake wand inside his own grave. What a beautiful euphemism.
And brooding now that was a completely bogus rumor spread by a horned dung beetle during his 5 th year in a completely normal school year. And an upstanding gentelman supported that fact just five minutes before. Well who was that well considering he was alone for about 510 million km square it was himself and no it did not not count since there was no other opinion in present and he was a big fan of democrazy.
After spending a millennia having impossible adventures and making friends and killing dark lords with the power of friendship and rainbows he could honestly say and emphasize on the honest part he had lost the ability to be surprised .
After 300 years of blissful solitude with enough radiation to depopulate a decent sized planet and finding out he was immune to radiation but not hunger . Guess what his best friend was right. Gamp's law didn't care for his long earned too long hyphenated titles made him to be Master ..boy and man...food was not in the list buddy.
And that's why when one normal day filled with Infrared sunbathing and an solitary walk among the sights resulted in him stumbling in a metaphorical metaphysical rock and falling through a Gate he could swear he had fed to fiendfyre that he was not at all surprised when he heard a voice for the first time in a long long time "Vacations over Master We are back in business".
AN: Typed and published in a rickety android mobile. Keep expectations low