"So…" Ezreal began. Smooth as ever, Ez.
"Yes." Kai'Sa replied, used to his segues.
"We've been dating for a while. Like, a long while." He held his hands out like a fisherman describing the size of his latest catch.
"That is correct." Kai'Sa said, and Ezreal was pleased to note that she sounded a little smug.
"Would you ever want to… you know?" Ezreal asked vaguely, waving his hands in a meandering gesture.
"I don't."
"Oh…" he said dejectedly, then forced himself to brighten, continuing, "that's okay, not everyone has the same wants and needs. We don't need to always be on the same page. All relationships are different and all that, yadda yadda yadda…" He rolled his wrist.
"No, I mean I don't know. What you're talking about. You gave me no context." Kai'Sa explained patiently.
They were sitting in Ezreal's League dorm, relaxing during down time between matches. They spent most of their time together as of late.
"Oh! What I mean was, um-" Ezreal's courage faltered like a candle in the wind. The runes on his cheeks flaring as he blushed.
Kai'Sa tilted her head at him, intrigued at what could possibly be getting him so flustered after all the time and secrets they had shared with one another.
"How do you feel about families?" Ezreal asked suddenly.
The mood between them shifted. Kai'Sa stiffened, her face grew carefully blank. She stared at him for a moment.
Ezreal felt like he had fucked up somehow.
"It was nice having one." She said quietly.
He winced.
He had definitely fucked up.
Nice going, stupid.
Hey, it's okay! We can salvage this!
"Yeah, the whole orphan thing, am I right?" He forced a chuckle, running a hand through his hair.
She continued to stare at him.
She didn't blink.
Shit.
Shit.
Say something that isn't about your probably dead parents! Anything!
"Hey, what if we had a baby! Wouldn't that be crazy?"
NOT THAT.
She squinted at him in disbelief. "What?"
EZREAL. WHAT ARE YOU DOING.
"I've always wanted kids. Do you want kids? I think we should have kids. A lot of them." Ezreal was talking way too fast but he couldn't stop, it was like a dam had burst inside of him. He took Kai'Sa by the hand and used his other hand to gesture wildly. "We could have a great big family and go on adventures together! You could teach the kids to hunt void creatures and I could teach the kids how to avoid temple traps. You would make a fantastic mother. I think we'd be like a power couple mother and father or something, right?"
Kai'Sa tilted her head to the side, studying him.
"This is something you want?"
"Absolutely!" He said eagerly.
She considered this seriously.
"I too have always wanted a family of my own." She admitted.
"Really?" Hope sparked in Ezreal's chest.
"Yes, but after spending a decade hunting the void I thought it would never happen. I figured I would spend my entire life alone as a hunter."
"You always have me, Kai." He said gently.
She gave him a small smile. "I know."
She continued, "I want to give a child the upbringing that I never got to have, the safety and security."
Ezreal nodded. "I get that. I always hated being left behind when my parents went on adventures without me. It was always the waiting. Waiting to see if they'd never come back and one day… You know." He blinked hard.
She placed an empathetic hand on his shoulder and looked at him steadily.
He shook his head quickly.
"So we're both in on this?" He asked, grinning, eyes sparkling.
"I would like to plan to have a child together, if that's what you mean."
Ezreal stood up, throwing his arms in the air, exclaiming "Woohoo!" To the world.
Kai'Sa stood up as well.
"Just to be clear, this is also a fetish thing as well, correct?" She asked, raising an eyebrow.
Ezreal grinned slyly.
She pushed him against the wall and began unbuckling his belt, torturously slow, while humming thoughtfully. "Tell me about it." She purred.
"Just the thought of your belly being swollen with my child makes me so hard I can't even think straight." He said without hesitation.
"And?" She pulled his hardening cock free.
He clenched his eyes shut and grit his teeth, blushing. "I want to drink your breast milk."
Kai'Sa tutted and squeezed his length. "Ezreal, that is for our children. What kind of father are you?"
"Fuck." He groaned lowly.
She started jerking him slowly, with a slight twist of her wrist.
"Do you want to knock me up that bad?"
"Yes." He breathed.
"Do you want to cum inside me?"
"Yes, Kai, please." He leaned his forehead against hers, their breath mingling together.
"Do you want to start a family together?"
"Kai'Sa, I'll do anything, just please let me cum in you." He panted.
She leaned forward, pressing her lips to his ear and whispering huskily, "Today is a risky day for me, I'm ovulating."
"Fuck, I'm im gonna-!" Ezreal cried.
She immediately stopped jerking him and pulled back, a serious look on her face. "Save it for my womb." She demanded silkily.
They collided in a frenzy of exploring hands and desperate kisses, clothes flying, tripping over each other to get to the bed. Kai'Sa landed on top of Ezreal, pulling him up to meet her.
She wasted no time putting him in, savoring the burning stretch as he pushed up against her walls.
"We normally do it like this, but I've heard that it's better for fertility if the man is on top."
Ezreal grinned. "You got it!" He rolled them over.
He pounded against her cervix relentlessly, relishing in the way she cried out, rocking her hips back against his, trying to make him thrust harder, deeper. The concentration on her face, her eyebrows set, her eyes sparkling with fierce determination set a fire deep in his belly.
Breeding her felt so damn good. The sensation of her underneath him, bare, raw, and unprotected. Ready to be knocked up. Just for him. He bit her neck, sucking hard at the spot on her throat where her suit didn't cover her neck. Usually she was the one to leave visible love marks but he felt like staking his claim.
She made a low sound and ran a hand through his hair.
They kept up a frantic pace, the bed creaking beneath them. Wet, slapping sounds and their harsh breaths filled the room.
Kai'Sa bit her lip, trembling with the intensity of their lovemaking. She gasped Ezreal's name, licking the shell of his ear.
He swiped a thumb over her clitoris in a figure eight pattern.
"Fuck!" Kai'Sa growled, throwing her head back, her raven-dark hair splaying out on the pillow behind her. "Fill me with your seed, put a baby in me." She gasped. Her nails raked along his back, hard enough to leave marks. She wrapped her legs around him, ankles locked, toes curled in pleasure.
"Kai, I love you!" He cried, squeezing his eyes shut, as his orgasm tore through him, slamming his hips into hers repeatedly. He fucked her as deep as he could, right up against her cervix. Hot, thick spurts of essence pouring out of him and filling her.
Her mouth opened in a soundless gasp and her body convulsed as she was pushed over the edge, her hips canting up to writhe against his, her pussy wringing out as much cum as it could.
They both clung to each other, breathing heavily, sweaty and replete. Kissing lazily, they basked in the hazy afterglow of their babymaking, wholly content.
Ezreal was normally the second most insufferable person on the Rift (second only to Draven, of course) but now he was, by far, the worst.
It was horrible.
He wouldn't shut up about how he was pumping Kai'Sa's womb full of cum every night.
"Did you hear that Kai'Sa and I are trying for a baby?"
Katarina threw a dagger at him.
He was so damn smug about it. He had to let everyone know that they were mating like wild animals in heat.
"We're hoping for twins. Kai has wide hips so she should be able to bear them without a problem."
Sett put him in a headlock.
He was unbearably smug about it.
"We went at it five times last night!"
Xayah stabbed him with a magical quill, her ears flat.
"She's really voracious! She just wouldn't stop riding me!"
Mundo hefted a cleaver at his head.
"Did you know that when a woman lays on her back after getting filled with cum her chances of fertilization go up?"
Vi punched him in the nose.
"Have you heard of a position called the mating press?"
Kog'maw threw up, which wasn't unusual but it was humorous timing.
"She really likes it when I-"
"Shut it, Piltie! No one wants to hear you brag about your sex life!" Ekko shouted at him from across the river. Nami and Tristana were covering their ears, dreading finding out what exactly Kai'Sa enjoyed in bed.
"You're just jealous!" Ezreal crowed, slapping Kai'Sa on the ass, producing a satisfying jiggle. She slapped his bony ass in return and he yelped in pain. Man, she was strong!
Kai'Sa held the pregnancy test in her hand, fingers crossed, eyes closed. Ezreal paced in front of her.
"What does it say, what does it say?" He asked.
"My eyes are closed."
"Open them!"
"The allotted time hasn't passed yet. The timer will go off when it's ready. Then I'll look."
Ezreal fiddled with his gauntlet nervously.
"I can hear you messing with your gauntlet."
"It calms me down." He sniffed.
"I don't know what you're so nervous for, we can just have more sex if it's negative." Kai'sa stated, brow furrowed.
"But I want a baby now." Ezreal whined.
Kai'Sa made a face, eyes still closed. "It takes months."
"I know that."
"Do you?" she asked.