This is a story all about how
An imposter marinated me and then slashed me down
And I saw Red's ghost, they said 'I told you so'
And then faded away... Woah!
When I came to, I was in the medbay hallway, me, Good-Old-Goody-Two Feet... I also said 'came'...
Okay!
I've been in the hospital for months now and not ONE person has sent me chocolate or flowers. Oh yeah, personal contact would've been nice to but-
Thwack!
Someone lightly smacks on thoust shoulder blade, and it's annoying.
The pears and the pairs have left me so distraught these day...
I'm sorry I still can't get over that I said the word 'came' so I'm gonna point that out now- k thanks bye!
"Orange you a sight for sore eyes~" Orange winks and nuzzles my check. Is this what it's like to be loved? I back away out of Orange's clammy grasp. Green in right behind me and I freak out comically. I think I've gone to Heck, well it's about schmuckin' time (cue crazy 'losing me grip on reality' laugh).
...Ha!
"Green apple!" Kuudere Green Senpai UwU says in a monotone and slowly, ominously, holds up an apple that I highly suspect may be poison and/or toxic, or both. I eat it anyway. BadA$$!
"This is all happening like really REALLY fast, is the room spinning... Am I... Dead!" I look around and lean into Green's side. I whisper the grim reaper's true identity like it always just rolls off the tongue- like my head on the floor.
This wasn't as funny and light-hearted as I hoped it would be... Oh well.
"...You're not dead, but your friends are!" Orange's eyes widen and my head is throbbing. Ouch, wait what?! Jokes on you Mister Orange, Blue has no friends-wait I'm Blue-wait what?!
10 weeks later
"I'm Blue, dada dee... Daba die~" I'm faintly unconscious as I get the words wrong to like every song. Close though! I yawn real loud for none of my friends to hear (because I'm a schmuck loser) and I stroll around without even stretching first. Ow my back!
"Hello, friends that I specifically don't have... Orange?" I peep into electrical and a cold gust of wind greets me. Then, darkness becomes me only friend (Because the lights went out). WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN! CAPITALISM!
I chuckle to myself for my finally decent into madness before joining me ejected dad-because I lost the Spelling Bee that one time-out the airlock. Then, I realize there is no airlock. Note to self, breathe air.
"Help! UwU!" A cry pierces my struggling to grasp reality deep philosophical thinking about my untimely demise, and I trip over myself into the STARTING ZONE. OoooooooooooowowowowowO. Woah!
"I'll save you from thymyself!" I announce loudly and take to the air like an extreme BadA$$ might do it I was one. I flinch as Red catches my ankle-aggressively mind you, no I don't mind- and tips me over like a cow... Hurdling toward the hard knock life! Nice~
Oh wait, what's happening? I am dazed and confused, albeit crazed and abused, as I blink thrice. Yeah... Blinking... I should go lie down again. The only thing being abused here is MY EGO.
I whimper and almost blackout for the third time in like a year. Red judges me, and then viciously exclaims in my face that Cyan is an imposter and I'm a loser schmuck with no friends. Well, when you schmuckin' put it like that (cue crying laughter).
Does any of what I do really count as Dramatic? Yes!
"She is the imposter, you weirdo, annoying schmuck... How are you still alive!" Red brings up a very good point. Well, when you put it like that. I pick myself off off the saggy floor- littered with blood and vomit (I hope I can look cool for like 5 seconds).
"I am not a doe, orange you glad I didn't say banana." I gasp every time in take a breath. My brain feels like it's MALFUNCTIONING as I capitalize my words in my EXTREME ANGST of having no friends, and being a schmuck loser. Whelp, that's are show!
"What are you even talking about loser, I'm gonna kill you- and I'm not even an imposter yet!" Red tells me in his crazed confusion. This all must just be some huge, gnome-eating, shattered illusion- And it's not even reality. I'm a good story writer, so I just write about having friends.
"Orange you gonna pick on someone thy own size?!" Orange steps in- looking like a real idiot. Green backs him up with a... Machine gun. I squint through air. No, neverminded, it's just my old friend Batty the baseball bat. I feel like just an endearing SIDE CHARACTER. AGGRESSION! I charge full speed and bump my head as Red dodges the attack. Ouch! I hear a snort of a chuckle of a giggle of a muggle.
"Ha... Sorry, you're just an incredibly stupid schmuck~" Cyan cracks a smile and my heart (if I had one) flutters like the butters of July... I'll just write about having a heart too.
"Tsk, I'm out of here, stop cleaning the vent and let's go team!" Red waves his companions into a forward march and I look away with extremely impressionability. Whatever man, I stopped listening like for 5 minutes.
"Thank you for saving me, I'm Cyan, and you're gonna be Dyan!" Cyan slowly rises to full length, and I size her up. I couldn't take her... I was not aware of this Name Change. I'm awesome!
I hope you are okay with this, I am happy you read my work, no matter how schmuckin' lame I still am. But I am also awesome!
I guess Blue is Blue without a Clue (Lame name by the way me) will get a three-parter, I enjoy the silliness of extinctual torment, but I'll try not to make it too ridiculous- and I definitely won't be reading this!
...
K thanks bye! It was all a joke by the way, remember it (I'm looking at you me)