Dear ejected 'dad', this story has reached its three-part conclusion, and I will die soon- Perhaps by Cyan's hands if we're all lucky enough to see that coming~

I'm trying to do that thing where you told me to breathe normally like a regular CREWMATE! No one's gonna like you if you flaunt your glorious imposter wings repeatedly.

What was I talking about?

I'm actually just listening to a spotify playlist and getting me all distracted... UwU!

Anyways, do you remember when fake mother pear-ished in the fire and revealed your evil plans to me-that I was your ward and you were gonna train me the WRONG WAY?

I remember it was a sunny Tuesday... And what's the right way popperoni? I'm so great at nicknames...

Anyways, Burn in Hell Old Man, I'll see you there soon! Muhaha muhahaha UwU!

I close my journal and put it to the side. I think for a moment, and this time it's not always about how to not think about thinking. I grab the water bottle, chug it, and release a wealthy sigh that says 'I have money'. If anything, that old man left me with a healthy, generous, humungous debt that require loan sharks to take my kidney if only they could find me-

Oh look, a butterfly!

Me bright eyes dart after the creature- mocking me! I would too if I could truly escape this treacherous torment of being an emotion. I smirk dully.

You know, karma's gonna bite me in the butt over this one. I look at the journal like I'm in a newly formed trance. I scoop it up gently and aggressively ponder opening it thrice. The first time was simply to stare down at the blank pages before me. I need Orange to be here. I slam it open.

Dear 'fake' papa, orange you glad I didn't mean anything I just wrote down, other then for the 'playlist' part and my obvious distracting all of my distractions! I mean, you're dead, so you wouldn't care but-

...

...

Well, it should've been me.

"There!" I slam the journal close and throw it to the side. It jumps off the side and falls to its death. I sulk for a bit as I like onward, because my HAPPINESS was just crushed. Well, enough about me...

Thwack!

Some oblong object hits me square in the forehead. I gasp and dramatically fall backwards accurately. Somehow, I manage to come face to face with my obvious worse enemy in this life- my appetite, I mean the bounty of a pear. My hands quiver before the belly of the great beast I am holding. I, Blue, the imposter slayer... This round...

"Hey schmuck, schmuckin' loser, schmuck schmuck..." Green's voices drown out as I am still thinking about OTHER THINGS (mainly faux Mama's ghastly screams over the gasoline). Well, that's enough about my 'game of thrones'-esque backstory. Ha haha... Chuckling to myself.

Green gives a ghastly sigh of relief and gratitude for being my friend as they plop down next to me. They nudge at my shoulder with theirs- brutally. The gesture to the pear in an aggressive and anxious manner that is so out of character...

"Eat the pear, it might or might not be laced with Cyanide... But only if you dare! UwU~" Green grins like the loan sharks sent him to offer me my day's worth of PRETEND FRIENDSHIP. But the UwU convinced me as far as well-being, caution, and logic might be concerned. I am the master at words!

I think, and think, and think... About other things.

I study the pear... You could say I learn about its pear-tern (cough) Well whatever.

"Hey, do you think paranoid's a weird word? Pear, annoyed, and what's up with the word Weird Doe?!" I'm a great conversationalist to keep quiet. Green judges me and closes their eyes. They open them sharply again.

"Yea buddy, and the word Cyan-ide though~" Green says as they grasp the pear and shove it towards my pursed in confusion, and unwilling lips. I gently fling their hands away from my meditative mind space... Words...

"You know, I don't think Cyanide's such a bad word. I mean, sure it will kill ya..." I pause as Green gets up and tries to get away from my eerie forever presence. Not on my watch! I do nothing to stop it. I'm so awesome.

"You haven't even asked yourself why we're on the rooftop of an Anime School Building... Well whatever, I'm bored, eat your pear of deadly poison and then come find me for a quick make-out session before Cyan eventually finds you and wrings your neck- now does that ring a bell, you dumb in dangered schmuck!" Green casually says all this whilst brushing dust from their fake jeans.

"Orange you gonna ask me about the closet?" I ask about the number uno go to make-out spot for a kawaii make-out session on this godforsaken ship. I ship that, friendship that is. Also, making-out... Nice~

"Oh yea, I know, wait for me there, now eat your pear!" Green's manically laughter trails off as he life's the rooftop area that I did not totally plagiarize from all the Anime. I nibble on the pear. Green is a paranoid, weirdo schmuck loser schmuck nerd...

Bang!

I collapse on the floor and am at the mercy of the frigid cold and fondness I feel in thy own heart... Elements take me now! I don't know, I blacked out... Thrice!

...

5 aggravating seconds later

Water hits my face, and my heart begins to race. Back and fro, back and fro. Here we go!

"Wake up you schmuck weirdo!" I glimpse up at the ghost of Purple's past. He surely will teach me how to fight and defeat Cyanide- I mean, Cyan.

Be a man~

I look sideways two times. Orange is there and he is dressed like a serial killer with a chainsaw... Because he is a serial killer with a chainsaw. Ooooooooohwo.

"Okay, now kill each other!" Purple can barely contain any excitement at the thought of me probably most likely getting my soft a$$ kicking of a lifetime... Oh yeah, and death.

"...Huh?!" My eyes liven up as Orange screams out a really funny 'pun' as he rears up the chainsaw-my demise- and cries out comments about my untimely time of death to the world. This will surely make me stronger for my final battle with the imposter... Or imposters- if, I survive that is.

"You're gonna die at 4:20 for all your sins!" Orange is crazy and my heart is racing. I do my ultimate technique- of just standing there, looking truly pathetic. Out of nowhere, a lone piece of fruit hits the slippery steel, and we all stop moving- even the soon-to-be murder weapon.

"F**k this, it's jammed!" Orange's pretty orange hands and fingers are sticky with a tremendous amount of jelly- even though a pear saved my life and disrupts an untimely death. He throws the chainsaw at Purple guy, who teleports away. Purple guy reappears behind me. Awww man, have I done it now!

"You idiots, I'm trying to sleep!" Red's voice hollers from nowhere. I can only assume that the afterlife has their hands firmly grasped around him like a beach volleyball. Lucky bastard!

Slash!

We all ignore the stabbing and running footsteps, and twice the maniacal laughs, as all of us focus on the real problems in life- me, alive, for now. Who am I kidding, I thrive under all this great, totally not conjured up, attention.

"Purple Sensei, what now!" I look toward my guide and probably only friend-who just tried to get my other 'friends' to kill me by the way-for the direction in life I most likely don't need but will gladly accept if it come from this apathetic bastard. He purses his lips together and crosses his arms over his chest in disappoint. He lets out a 'tsk' so thicc that it could be a twig snapping in the distance. What a strange schmuck.

"I guess we could make-out!" My heart leaps and celebrates at his half-hearted 'I have nothing better to do' way of saying 'make-out'. And I've already made up my mind ro DO IT!

"Yeah alright... Hold on a sec~" I bit my lip in my non-existent thirst as I get up and struggle to pick up that chainsaw. I approach orange ominously. Orange's eyes are pleading.

"Hey, I was just kidding about dying for your sins, you can do that later..." He pauses as I give him back the chainsaw, mumbling about how he dropped it and silly nonsense. Then I punch him in the face for the final 'K'O' A$$ kicking.

"Here catch!" After I'm done, I decide to make-out with Purple guy before he fades away and I never love until tomorrow.

"Nice~" Purple chuckles and 'tsks' again because it should've been me. We leave in style.

8 hours later

Cyan chops me in half. When did that happen? Was it after Purple tried to suck out my soul like an incubus. No, I couldn't possibly fathom it. But I die anyway!

I puke out some blood which isn't my own. I obviously when this battle. Duh!

"I believe in my schmuckin' friends are my power!" I cringe and suddenly my being stops malfunctioning- unlike my brain... UwU.

Gah shut up Blue, shut up, shut up, you stupid smart incredibly awesome schmuck loser schmuck... Aaaaaaah!

I obliterate my enemy with all the power of my final technique- the throwing pears. I eject pear after pear that is actually a weapon in disguise- much like the pinecone.

Now the room is spinning to me advantage as I try not to puke out my potentially poisoned pear lunch.

I win by my own accord and Cyan is like 'no you cheated' and I'm like 'no'.

"Wanna make-out in the closet?" She smirks and grimaces through all the blood and severed body parts that clutter up our potentially tomb. I pretend to think about it.

"Sorry, I don't talk to cops!" I wear my sunglasses that I looted Orange's cold, unconscious body to get back. And walk away for the apparent explosion of being me.

Next stop, airhead town.