A/N: Hey everybody! So basically, this fic is basically a bunch of one off ideas stitched together for laughs and giggles. Originally, none of them had anything to do with Halloween, but considering I wrote this a few days ago and its set in Dracula's castle, it sorta fit the Halloween vibe, so I tweaked a few background points and here we are. So, uh…. here it is….

On a mildly spooky Halloween night…

Luigi aimed his flashlight down a dark corridor, scanning the area.

"Ya see anything, brother?" asked Incineroar.

"Nothing. You smell anything?"

"Yeah. That jabroni definitely dragged his sorry behind though this area."

"Good. King Boo will not escape our clutches," said Simon from behind them.

"Nor that fiend Dracula!" added Richter. "We shall take Castle Dracula before the night ends!"

"Hah! Those two are dead meat! Right Greninja?" chuckled Incineroar.

One of the shadows next to them sighed. "Yes. And if you'd stop stomping around and grandstanding after busting through every single door, we'd have defeated them by now."

"C'mon brother! Ya gotta celebrate the small victories!" said Incineroar.

"Your guts. I hate them."

"Hah! Get in line! You ain't the first and you're not gonna be the last! Come on! We're doing too much sneaking, not enough suplexing!"

"Incineroar's right. We need to keep moving. We still haven't seen Dracula, which means he might not have fully revived himself," said Simon. "Also, not having to find keys for the doors is saving us more time than Incineroar's grandstanding is taking. We're still saving time."

"Bah, when's the part where we loot all of Dracula's treasures?" demanded Wario from somewhere in the back of the crowd.

"After we slay the fiend," said Richter. "Say, Lucas, are you still all right? I admire your bravery coming with us, but you didn't have to."

"Nah, I'm fine," said Lucas. "Dracula has nothing on Porkey's abominations. I've seen haunted houses spookier than this castle."

"Uh, right," said Richter. "Anyway, I think that's the throne room ahead of us! Prepare yourselves!"

"That's my secret, brother! My body is always ready!" said Incineroar confidently.

"Is everybody here? Let's do a quick headcount," said Simon. "Richter?"

"Right here!"

"Luigi?"

"Present!"

"Incineroar?"

"Ready to pummel some jabronis!"

"Lucas?"

"Right here."

"Wario?"

"Here!"

"Greninja?"

"Still here."

"And our secret weapon?"

"Ready to strike!"

"All right! Let us proceed!" said Simon.

"Ahead of ya, mullet man!" shouted Incineroar. "Flame Charge!"

And with that Incineroar plowed straight through the double doors.

"Oh COME ON!" screeched a surprised King Boo, who was floating next to a coffin. "C'mon, Drac, wake up! Don't let me down!"

Suddenly, Dracula burst from the coffin. But something seemed…. off.

"Dude, what's with the afro and the get up?"

"I got sent back to the '70's for a while, man! That's where I got this groovy get up and hairdo! I'm a proper cassanova now! I'm gonna bring disco back, baby!"

Incineroar stomped through the hall in the lead, and took a dramatic stance, pointing at Dracula.

"Listen here, jabroni! They say all fighters are created equal! But if you look at me and if ya look at you, you'll see that statement isn't true! See, let's say you went up against a Belmont! You've got a 50%-50% chance of winning! BUT I'M A FREAK OF NATURE! IF YOU WERE FROM WHERE I WAS FROM, YOU'D BE FREAKING DEAD! That gives me a 60%-40% matchup against anybody!"

"Well, I mean, being dead is kind of a prerequisite for being an undead vampire….." started Dracula.

"And then you factor in King Boo, and your chances go drastically down again! That brings it down to 75%-25%!"

"Hey!" snapped King Boo. "You think I'm that useless!?"

"And then you gotta factor in all my friends! We got 2 Belmonts, a ghostbuster, a literal ninja, the most powerful PK user this side of the multiverse, a guy whose greed can beat basically anything, and a secret weapon! Your chances go down again to 87.5% to 12.5%!"

Greninja face palmed. "And so much for the element of surprise….."

Lucas shrugged. "Eh, Kumatora's grandstanded for longer. It's fine, let him get it out of his system, he's not gonna let us hear the end of it if we interrupt him."

"But then you gotta factor in the fact that I'm the undisputed champion of VGC since 2017 and I've got the belt to prove it! Not only that, but I've only got better as time goes on! I've got Fake Out, Parting Shot, AND Intimidate! I've got Flare Blitz, Heat Wave, Snarl, Throat Chop, Earthquake, Outrage, Taunt, Superpower, Close Combat, Heat Crash AND Darkest Lariat! Yeah, that's right, I've got my own signature move AND I stole Emboar's signature move! And he's gonna like it! Not only that, but I hard counter all the other big players! Zacian Crowned, Calyrex Shadow, AND Rillaboom are scared of me! You think I give a crap about Regeleki? You think those jabroni Ultra Beasts scare me? I singlehandedly ended the CHALK meta! I ended the VGC careers of Arcanine, Scrafty, Pangoro, Krookodile, Entei AND Landorus Therian before they even began for two generations in a row! I'm better then legendary Pokemon! I throw down with the best of them and come out on top! Even Dexit couldn't keep me out of the ring! You think you stand a ghost of a chance against me?"

"Isn't that a bit of an overstatement?" wondered Luigi. "I don't think you're that strong….."

"Your chances go down another 47.25%! That gives me a 134.8% chance of winning this fight, rounded to the first decimal! Now, if you want to surrender, I wouldn't blame you. And I'll accept those terms on one condition! That condition is that you write us a letter of apology! It will read as follows! "Dear Humanity, we regret being jabroni vampire bloodsuckers! We regret coming to Smashville! And we most definitely regret that you had to send the VGC champion Incineroar to kick our raggedy butts out! And it's gonna be signed Dracula and King Boo!"

"Hey! I'm not a vampire! I'm a ghost! A Boo, more specifically! Doesn't the name 'King Boo' mean anything to you, musclebrain?" snapped King Boo. "Also, I'm not a Brony, get it straight!"

"Jabroni, not Brony, ya jabroni! Get it right!" shouted Incineroar.

"You know, that math isn't very nifty," said Dracula dangerously. "I think you'd better be ready to get your groove on."

"Get my groove on? HAH! You know I'm gonna keep my title as world champion. You heard the numbers! And they spell disaster for you Dracula! Come on, try your best! But it's hard math! What are ya gonna do against hard math?"

"I have four PhDs in math you, fuzzy goof," said Dracula. "Your freaky deaky numbers need to take a chill pill! They're not even close to being funky fresh! Isn't that a bummer for your 'hard math', youngblood?

Incineroar scoffed. "You think I can't do math, brother? Hah! You know what PhD's stand for, right? Pretty horrible decisions! Which describes your math and your decision to bring your stinking castle here! SO! To ya fine dandies, so proud, so cocksure, PRANCING ABOUT WITH YOUR HEADS FULL OF AFROS! Come and get me, I say! I'll be waiting! The numbers don't lie, jabroni! They spell disaster for you!"

"Bah, enough of this crap! I'm getting outta this dump before the sun rises!" yawned Wario, as he reached into his pocket, fishing out a clove of garlic. "It's Wario-Man time!"

With that, Wario downed the clove of garlic in one gulp, and transformed into Wario-Man. Quickly he turned around and ripped a massive waft, engulfing Dracula and King Boo.

Dracula let out an inhuman scream and fell to his knees.

"Drac? Drac! NO! Don't leave me with that muclebrained moron! Come on, man!" shouted King Boo in a panic. "I don't wanna have to wait for you to come back again! We were gonna take over the world!"

"That….garlic…..waft….wasn't….. very….. groovy….." gasped Dracula, before fading into dust.

"Air, I need air," gasped Richter.

"Tis foul! But potent against Dracula!" exclaimed Simon.

"It's fine," said Lucas, seemingly unaffected. "It's not any worse than New Pork City's sewers."

"Keh! I need to escape!" grumbled King Boo.

"Not on our watch, you don't!" shouted Luigi, who had produced a respirator out of nowhere and was securing it tightly over his face. "We still have our secret weapon!"

"Are you ok?" asked a voice from the shadows.

"Of course, I'm not! I just had two and a half years of planning blown away by a single fart!" snapped King Boo.

"TOO BAD! BUSTER WOLF!"

Suddenly, Terry leaped from the shadows and Buster Wolf'd King Boo. King Boo slammed into a wall and slowly picked himself up, as Terry strode up to him. Terry held out his fist, with his pinky finger extended. King Boo gasped.

"You know the Pinky Finger Death Strike?"

"Oh yeah! You bet I do!" said Terry cheerfully.

Terry tried to poke King Boo with his pinky, but his hand went straight through King Boo.

"Wait! Being a ghost means I'm immune to the Pinky Finger Death Strike! I'm invincible! INVINCIBLE!"

"POWER GEYSER!"

"GAAHHHH!" screamed King Boo as he was blasted straight into the ceiling, before crashing unceremoniously into floor.

"Pinky Finger Death Strike to Power Geyser is a true combo!" announced Terry cheerfully.

"Listen here, you might have mastered the Pinky Finger Death Strike, but so have I! You're no match for…. Huh?"

King Boo looked over and saw Luigi revving the Poltergust, before pulling the trigger.

"Wait! NO! I WILL DEFEAT YOU ALL WITH THE PINKY FINGER DEATH STRIKE! I WILL DEFEAT YOU ALL! NOOOOOOO!" screamed King Boo as he got sucked into the Poltergust.

"Well, that's that, I guess," said Luigi, ignoring the muffled screams of rage coming from the storage tank of the Poultergust. "That wasn't so bad. Thanks for coming, everybody!"

"Anytime, brother!" said Incineroar, slinging his arm around Luigi's shoulder.

"Say Terry, you don't actually believe that death poke stuff, do you?" asked Greninja.

"Nah. But King Boo does! It was in Luigi's notes on King Boo that he handed out earlier," said Terry. "Now, come on everybody! Let's get out of here and get some egg rolls and cheese pizza to celebrate!"

"And we're getting them from anywhere but a gas station this time," said Greninja. "Even Wario got indigestion last time. And you know how strong his stomach is."

"Hey! That wasn't indigestion! I just ate a few too many beans beforehand! You gotta be prepared for the likes of Boolossus, you know!" Wario yelped.

Suddenly, the Smashers felt a rumble beneath their feet.

"What was that?" asked Luigi.

"Uh…. so Dracula's Castle tends to collapse after Dracula is killed," said Richter.

"AND YOU DIDN'T TELL US THAT BEFORE HAND?!" demanded Greninja.

"Well, I mean, it doesn't collapse sometimes," said Simon. "Like 20% of the time?"

The other Smashers glared at the Belmonts as the shaking got stronger.

"Our bad?" said Richter sheepishly. "Kinda forgot in all of the excitement."

"You're paying for the food," said Greninja flatly. "All in favor, say I?"

"I!" chorused the rest of the Smashers, moments before the castle collapsed beneath them.

A few hours later…..

"Man, these are some great egg rolls!" said Terry, as the Smashers sat around the table in Smash Mansion, eating egg rolls and cheese pizza. "I think climbing out of the rubble and having to walk home because the warp stars got crushed makes it taste better!"

"Yeah, no," said Greninja. "It doesn't. Absolutely not. 100% does not."

"I second the frog," said Wario.

"At least we didn't have to hand out candy at the door," shrugged Luigi. "And considering the fact that King Boo didn't kidnap Mario this time, I'll take it."

"You know, brother? We take those!" said Incineroar. "And we got that jabroni Dracula too!"

"You know, it is Halloween, isn't it? Let's see if there's anything left to raid from the candy bowl!" said Wario.

Greninja stood up. "You know what? Sure. Let's do it!"

And with that our heroic smashers went off to raid the candy bowl. There was nothing left, so they went to the store and found that it was closed. So, they came back and found that Isabelle and Pichu had eaten the rest of the egg rolls and pizza, so they went to bed still sorta hungry and disappointed. But at least they didn't get indigestion, so that's something. The end.