JENNIE

"Dirty martini, please," I shouted to the bartender over the noise of the crowd.

It was a Wednesday night, and I'd been sent to an album release party for an up-and-coming singer. According to my editor, there would be major gossip to pick up at the party, but so far all I'd done was eat too many fried goat-cheese balls and listen to bad pop music for an hour. The singer was only eighteen, and I'd already had to dodge groups of drunk teenagers on more than one occasion. I decided a drink was necessary to get me through the rest of the night.

I sipped my martini as I walked through the party. My mind wandered to Lisa, and I wondered what she was doing. The last we'd spoken, she'd been getting ready for a date with that bitch from Lily's school.

Okay, she wasn't a bitch. But I hated the thought of Lisa out with her. And while I was dying to know how it had gone, I wasn't about to ask Lisa about it. I refused to seem like a needy girlfriend, especially because we weren't dating, and even more so because I was the one who'd encouraged her to go on the date in the first place.

Someone tapped me on the shoulder, interrupting my thoughts.

"Hey, gorgeous," a voice said as I turned around. It was Kai, a fellow columnist.

I winced at the greeting. We'd hooked up a few times, usually after drinking too much at these events. He was attractive and fun to hang out with, but I hated when he called me pet names.

"Hey, Kai." I smiled as he pulled me in for a hug.

"I haven't seen you in a while." He grinned, his gaze lingering on my cleavage for a moment too long. "You look great."

We filled each other in on our lives after Kai bought us another round of martinis. Usually, I was happy to see him—he was fun and easy to be around—but tonight our conversation felt stale. I wasn't in the mood to flirt with him, and I certainly wasn't in the mood to go home with him. In fact, the more I talked to Kai, the more I missed Lisa.

Shit. I was really in deep.

I told Kai I had to use the restroom, but really, I just wanted to be alone with my thoughts for a few minutes.

Lately, I'd been doing a lot of thinking about relationships. All this time, I'd thought that by avoiding a relationship I was being strong and independent, but in reality, I was just afraid to grow up. I was too old to be at this party, and I was too old to keep being afraid to live my life. It was time to make adult decisions and take a risk. Yes, I'd seen my sister get burned, but that didn't mean I would. And if I did, I'd pick myself back up. That's what a truly strong and independent woman would do.

I looked at myself in the bathroom mirror. For so many years, I'd been missing out on having a real connection with someone because I was afraid. But now I was ready.

Excited by my new realization, I smiled to myself. As I left the bathroom, I took a sip of my martini and looked through the party again, hoping to spot a budding romance between the pop star and one of the partygoers, or even maybe a fight. I hated to leave without any takeaways for my column.

Before I could find anything, my phone vibrated in my pocket. I pulled it out and answered. "Hello?"

"Jennie, hey, it's Lisa." She sounded frantic, and I couldn't hear the rest of what she said over the noises of the party.

"Whoa, slow down," I said, quickly stepping out onto the balcony where a group of models were smoking. "What happened?"

"Lily's in the hospital."

My heart sank, and I put a hand over my mouth in shock.

"Is she okay?" I asked, already heading for the door.

"I'm not sure yet. We just got here, and the doctors are taking a look." Her voice sounded close to breaking. "I guess I just wanted to let you know."

"I'm coming," I said as I stepped out the front doors.

"It's okay, it sounds like you're out. You don't have to," she said, but I cut her off.

"Lisa, I'm already on my way. I'll be there soon."

• • •

I got to the hospital in record time and practically flew up the stairs. When I spotted Lisa in the waiting area, I ran up to her.

"How is she?" I asked, trying to catch my breath.

"She's in surgery," she said, worry etched on her face. "It's her appendix. They said it's a simple procedure and that it's nothing to worry about."

I could tell that she wasn't convinced. I could only imagine how it felt as a parent to have your child in surgery.

I threw my arms around her and held her tight. She wrapped her arms around me as I rested my head against her chest. It felt so comfortable to lean on her like that, so much so that I lingered, not wanting the moment to end.

"She'll be fine," I said, pulling back to meet her eyes. I hated the pain and anguish I saw reflected in them. "I had the same surgery when I was her age."

"Thanks for coming." She reached out to brush a stray hair from my face.

We moved into the waiting room and sat in the hard plastic chairs.

"Of course I came. I didn't want you to be here alone."

She looked into my eyes, and my heart sped up. Now wasn't the time to tell her what I'd realized, but being here for her felt really good.

"Have you eaten anything?" I asked, glancing at my watch. It was almost nine.

"No, actually." She ran a hand along the back of her neck. "I totally forgot about it."

I stood up. "Let me go grab you something."

"No, you don't have to," she said, but I held up a hand.

"Please, it's the least I can do."

She smiled as I grabbed my purse and headed out the doors. Ten minutes later, I was back with a sandwich and some fruit from the hospital cafeteria.

"Any news?" I asked as I set down the bag.

"She's out of surgery," she said, smiling. "She's fine, just recovering, and I can go see her in a bit."

I let out a sigh of relief and smiled back. "Thank God. I haven't been that scared in a while."

"Having you here meant a lot," she said as I handed her the bag. "Sorry if I interrupted your date."

Confused, I stared at her for a moment, then shook my head. "Oh no, it wasn't a date. It was a stupid work party."

She nodded, and I could see the relief on her face.

I stared at her for a moment before smiling to myself. The realization that Lisa was jealous caused a fluttering in my stomach.

"I'm glad you called me," I added, unable to hold back my grin. I wanted to tell her how important it was to me to be here for her and Lily, to be included in moments like this, but I didn't know how to say it. Instead, I gave her another hug and melted into the feel of her arms wrapped around me.

We were interrupted by the doctor approaching.

"Lily's parents?" the doctor asked.

Lisa rose to her feet. "Just me."

I stood by her side, our fingers clasped together tightly as the doctor dismissed me and looked directly at Lisa with concern in her eyes. "Lily's awake now. She did very well. Visitation is for family only if you want to go see her now." She motioned down the hallway.

Lisa turned to me. "Thanks again. I'm probably going to stay the night while Lily recovers."

"Yeah, of course." I nodded. "I'll keep watch at the house."

I smiled, but my heart was sinking. I didn't want to leave without them and go home to an empty house. I gave Lisa's hand a final squeeze before heading out.

As I pulled in the driveway, the house looked huge and menacing in the dark without any lights on. Usually when I pulled in, I could see Lily watching TV or playing a game in the living room window. I was struck by a pang of loneliness as I got out of my car and walked to my apartment. I'd gotten so used to having them around that I hadn't realized how it might feel when they were gone.

Once I was inside, I lay down on my bed, staring up at the ceiling. My phone rang, and hoping it was Lisa, I answered it quickly without looking at the caller ID.

"Lisa?" I said into the phone without thinking.

"Who's Lisa?" It was my sister, Irene.

"Sorry—nobody. How are you?"

Between moving and everything happening with Lisa, I hadn't talked to Irene in a couple of weeks.

"Good," she said, drawing out the word. I hadn't heard her sound this cheerful in a long time.

"What's with you?" I asked. "You sound giddy."

She laughed. "Can't I just be happy?"

I bit my lip. I didn't want to say it, but I didn't think I'd seen her happy since before her divorce.

"All right, fine," she said before I had to answer. "I met someone."

I sat up in bed, my eyes wide. It was the second surprising phone call I'd had that night. "What? Tell me everything."

"Jennie, he's amazing," she said, practically swooning over the phone. "His name is Jackson. He's so sweet and caring and helpful. Everything Jim wasn't, basically."

"What do you mean?" I'd always thought she and Jim seemed like a great couple. Honestly, I'd never really understood why they didn't work out. "I thought Jim was all of those things."

She sighed. "Look, Jennie, there's a lot I didn't tell you about Jim and me. There were problems from the start that I didn't want to admit. I pretended we were this perfect couple so nobody would notice that we weren't that great for each other."

I was floored. I'd never heard her talk this way before about Jim. He'd always seemed nice at family events, but I guess I'd never really known him that well.

"So, you think things are different now? With Jackson?"

"Absolutely. Seriously, I've never felt this way before. I know it sounds crazy, but he's such a great person, and he understands me."

I could tell she meant it. Looking back on it, I realized she'd never said things like this about Jim. I'd just assumed everything was great because they always seemed happy enough.

Irene interrupted my thoughts. "I think I love him, Jennie."

"Wow, that's amazing," I said, wandering over to the window. I automatically glanced at Lisa's window before remembering that she wasn't there. "Seriously, I'm really happy for you."

We caught up more on everything that had happened with her and Jackson before I told her I had to get to bed.

After I hung up the phone, I curled back up on the bed. I truly was happy for Irene. After everything she'd gone through with Jim, she deserved to find someone else. And if after her divorce she was brave enough to try again, then I really didn't have an excuse to be afraid.

I didn't know how, but I needed to find a way to let Lisa know how I was feeling. I just hoped it wasn't too late.