The disclaimer telling all of you that I don't own any Ghosts characters is having a party. Okay I put in a couple of my own characters in the mix here. Just for fun. They're not based on anyone in particular. So enjoy the show, it's…

Live With Blake And Suzie

"TV! TV!" Thorfinn cheered as the ghosts came to watch in the living room.

"Oh, not this show again," Hetty rolled her eyes.

"I like this show," Sam said as she held the remote. "It's a fun way to start the morning!"

"So is taking a spoonful of cocaine," Hetty remarked.

Trevor shrugged as he sat next to Sam. "She's not wrong."

An announcer spoke up over some colorful credits. "From Studio 34 C! It's Live with Blake and Suzie! Today's guests are from Blue's Morgue, Mason Morales. From FBI Boston, Kiki Kimero. From the movie Hottest Bodies On The Beach, Riley Van Valentine. Plus we'll learn about fireworks safety and how to make Suzie's special crème brulee!"

Isaac paused. "I'm guessing the point of these morning talk shows is basically a vehicle for most actors and actresses to promote themselves or their latest movie?"

"That and to promote other things," Alberta told him. "Like a chef's new cookbook or a singer's album."

"In other words, they're commercials," Isaac guessed.

"It's not just about promoting actors, singers and chefs," Sam told him.

"Yeah, the hosts do a lot of self-promotion too," Sasappis added.

"No, I mean…" Sam paused. "They also do recipes and health tips. And they talk about their lives and their day. It's kind of like having a little cup of coffee with a friend. That's on TV."

"And are trying to sell you things," Sasappis added.

"They're informative commercials," Isaac paused. "Infomercials. Oh, that's what that term means!"

"What happened to Regis?" Pete asked.

The announcer spoke again. "And now here are your hosts: Blake Bannerman and Suzie Sunstone!"

Two very blonde and tan people in fashionable clothing strode across the stage waving to their fans. "Oh god she's dressed like a whore," Hetty grumbled. "And why is her face frozen like that?"

"Botox," Sam explained. "It's a serum people inject into their faces to make them look younger. But it was originally developed to be a potential weapon in World War Two."

"It's a neurotoxin that makes cocaine look like candy," Trevor grumbled. "I once dated a model who had a bad reaction to Botox and died from it."

"Oh, that's horrible," Sam gasped.

"I know," Trevor sighed. "I mean she looked great at the funeral but still…"

"Why are both their lips so fat?" Alberta asked. "It looks like they got punched in the mouth."

"Lip plumper," Sam explained.

"If their lips are any plumper they would starve to death," Isaac quipped.

"Hello everyone! Hello!" Suzie waved to the crowd as she and Blake sat down. "It's Monday again!"

"Ugh Mondays!" Blake laughed. "Another day back to the grind!"

"All you do is sit around and talk," Hetty remarked. "Not exactly a day at the mill, is it?"

"I know right?" Suzie laughed. "Oh, I had such a busy weekend!"

"Me too!" Blake told her. "First my girlfriend and I went to this fabulous place for brunch. La Noellea. They had all sorts of good healthy breakfast dishes…"

"Yes, but I was talking about my weekend," Suzie interrupted with a smile. "Spending time at this fabulous ski resort in Vermont."

"I could do this," Isaac blinked.

"And of course, it isn't a show where Suzie doesn't mention her family at least once," Blake said in a chipper voice.

"Well, I am all about family," Suzie smiled. "And the good times we have."

"If we had television in colonial times, I would so have been a Suzie," Isaac remarked. Everyone looked at him. "I mean I would have easily been a celebrity. That would have shown Hamilton a thing or two!"

Trevor thought. "I can actually see that."

"Me too," Sasappis blinked.

"We had such fun laughing and bonding and skiing," Suzie went on. "My son Blaze loved it. As well as my daughter Tiffany. Then of course I had to call my publisher to get ready for my new cook book coming out. You're Cooking With Suzie!"

"Had to really think hard to come up with that title, didn't you?" Blake smiled. The audience giggled.

"Boy, do I miss Regis," Pete sighed.

"But I'm guessing your new book has a lot of healthy recipes you can enjoy with your family," Blake added.

"Yes," Suzie smiled. "And if you ever get one you should try it. Oh, I mean if you ever have kids. That you're willing to acknowledge."

"No, I don't have any little ones," Blake smirked.

"I know," Suzie smiled back. "I think the youngest is in college now, isn't he?"

"I think you mean my supermodel girlfriend," Blake smiled. "She just finished New York State."

"Like Debbie finished Dallas," Suzie added.

"I'm sensing tension among Blake and Suzie today," Isaac remarked.

Alberta remarked. "My friends never talked like this."

"Nor mine," Hetty paused. "It would have made those ghastly ladies' functions so much more interesting."

Suzie went on. "There are a lot of healthy recipes for the whole family in my new book. Fun and interesting ways like kale salad, and kale…"

Suzie then stopped. "No. No. No. I can't. I can't talk about kale anymore! I just can't pretend that I actually care about kale!"

"Who cares about kale?" Blake added. "I'm sick of hearing about it. As well as other things."

"You have something to say Blake?" Suzie glared at him. "Why don't you say it? You've been saying a lot to people behind my back!"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Blake smiled. "Get a grip Suzie."

"Get a life, Blake!" Suzie snarled. "And stop trying to horn in on mine!"

"Wow," Trevor blinked. "And I thought we got on each other's nerves here."

"You think I don't know what you've been trying to do?" Suzie snapped. "You're trying to replace me! To kick me off my own show!"

"Like you did with this show's original host?" Blake snapped. "And his replacement? And the replacement after that?"

"I know about your secret talks with the network!" Suzie told him. "You're not the only one who has connections!"

"Well, I'm the only one here who pays attention to this new thing called ratings!" Blake shouted. "And face Suzie! Yours are sinking! Faster than your last book sales!"

"What makes you so sure it's not you that's the reason this show is tanking?" Suzie growled. "Like your last movie! I haven't seen a flop that big since you tried a belly dive at the last company pool party! Remember? Right before your liposuction!"

"Suzie's finally snapped," Sasappis grinned. "Man do I love TV."

"Oh, you want to go there?" Blake snapped. "Let's go there! I hate hearing about how perfect your family is! Newsflash! It's not! We all know your husband has been sleeping around with all your so-called friends! And I don't just mean the women!"

"Oooh!" Isaac squealed with joy.

"Now I wonder why you didn't tell the audience the name of this wonderful ski resort you went to this weekend?" Blake went on. "Because you can't resist dropping a name of anywhere you like or think is so fancy. You drop more names more often than a guy who drops a phone book!"

"Nobody uses phone books anymore, Blake!" Suzie hissed. "Hello! I think your true age is showing!"

"Why don't you tell the audience where you really went this weekend?" Blake asked. "The New Beginnings Family Therapy Institute in New Jersey!"

"My family is not in therapy," Suzie made a false giggle.

"They should be. Your son is an arsonist who burned down half the school and your neighbor's garage," Blake added. "The only reason he's not in jail was that you bribed your neighbor with a new car. And a new auditorium for the school!"

"That's what you get when you name your child Blaze," Hetty sniffed in distain.

Blake went on. "And your daughter has sold more drugs than a Mexican cartel."

"Those drug charges were never proven!" Suzie snapped. "They were dropped!"

"That's because you slept with the district attorney!" Blake shouted.

Pete winced. "Okay this is veering slightly away from the family friendly atmosphere of morning television."

Suzie got into Blake's face. "I would not be going around badgering people about who slept with whom if I were you! Considering how many casting couches you've been on!"

"I got this job based on my talent!" Blake snapped.

"Oh yeah, I'm sure that's what the Head of the Network's wife called it!" Suzie added. "And also, the Head of the Network if those rumors about threesomes are true!"

"Well, you're an expert on that considering your early porn career!" Blake snapped.

"It was a student art film!" Suzie snapped. "It was very tasteful! You can barely see anything!"

"That's because the director chose a body double for half the scenes!" Blake snapped. "Due to that large weird mole you had on your backside!"

"That was a possible cancer tumor and I had that removed years ago!" Suzie snarled. "I am a survivor!"

"Oh, please your father is a famous movie producer and your mother was a socialite from Beverly Hills!" Blake snapped. "The only thing you've ever survived was bad room service! And that operation for your bad nose job!"

"That nose job was for my sinuses!" Suzie snarled. "And I did have cancer!"

"I checked your medical records," Blake told her. "You never had cancer! You are a cancer!"

"This from the human skin tag!" Suzie snarled. "At least my hair is all natural! You want to talk operations, how about that rug they sewed onto your head? I've seen rodents with more natural hair!"

"You are an expert on rodents seeing that you are one!" Blake snapped. "But not even rodents would eat your cooking!"

Suzie gasped. "You take that back!"

"That's what people's taste buds wish they could say after eating your food!" Blake snapped.

"GASP!" Isaac gasped dramatically.

"Maybe we should watch something else?" Sam suggested.

"Don't you dare!" Alberta told her. "It's getting good!"

"Okay now I see the appeal of shows like this," Isaac remarked.

"You can say what you want about me," Suzie snarled. "You can say anything you want about my family. But don't you dare criticize my cooking!"

"Why?" Blake asked. "Does your personal chef take offense? Personally, I'd take more offense at you taking credit for her recipes! You wouldn't know what to do in a kitchen if Julia Child herself came from the great beyond and told you exactly what to do!"

"I know how to use a blowtorch!" Suzie pulled out a hand sized blowtorch. "Wanna see my recipe for Blake Flambee?" She turned on the flame.

"Hey! Hey!" Blake jumped up and backed away. "What are you doing? What are you doing?"

"What's the matter Blake?" Suzie got up and followed him around. "The spotlight getting a bit too hot for you?"

Sasappis blinked. "This took a turn."

"Regis would never do that," Pete said. "He was a true professional!"

"Somebody help! Help!" Blake ran around as Suzie chased him on set.

"Oh dear," Sam winced. "Oh dear…"

Blake screamed. "AAAAH! FIRE! SHE SET ME ON FIRE! AAAHHH!"

"So that's how you set someone on fire with a small blowtorch?" Thorfinn remarked. "This show is very informative."

"Oh no!" Pete gasped. "Blake! Turn back! Turn back! Don't go into the part of the set where they have the…"

BOOOM! POW! KAPOWW! FIZZZZZ! ZZAAAAAPPP!

"Fireworks safety display," Pete winced.

"Wow," Trevor blinked. "It's a bad day to bring a blowtorch to work."

"Whoa!" Alberta gasped. "There goes one of Blake's toes!"

"BEST SHOW EVER!" Thorfinn whooped.

"This is a bit too violent for my tastes," Isaac winced. "And you're talking to a guy who's witnessed a few public executions."

"AAAAHHHH!" Blake was heard screaming.

"There goes another body part," Alberta winced. "Although I have to admit whatever that hair is made out of, it's resisting the fire very nicely."

"It's not even burning," Trevor blinked. "That's impressive."

"Oh no! Don't go that way! Watch out! Watch out!" Sam shouted.

"They can't hear you, Sam," Sasappis told her. "Welcome to our world."

"Watch out for that…" Sam shouted.

ZZAAAAAAAAPPP!

"Wire that got cut by one of the fireworks," Sam winced as she saw Suzie get electrocuted on TV.

Suddenly the screen changed to a sign with a picture of Blake and Suzie as bees. And the message saying. WE'LL BEE RIGHT BACK!

"I think they're going to have to change the title of that show," Sasappis blinked.

"You mean to something like Dead with Suzie and Probably Live With Blake?" Thorfinn asked.

"I'm sure Suzie isn't really dead," Sam gulped. "She's probably fine. Right?"

"Uhhh…." The ghosts winced.

Meanwhile back in New York…

Suzie stumbled around. Her hair was sticking up everywhere, her clothes were singed. Her makeup was smudged.

And her body was on the ground right in front of her. "What the hell…?" She gasped.

"Hey Suzie. Over here."

Suzie turned around and did a double take. Standing behind her was a Native American woman, a Hessian soldier from the Revolutionary War with a huge brown mustache and a bullet hole in his uniform around his chest and a young black woman in a white flapper costume.

"Hello!" The Hessian said in a German accent. "I'm Hans Gutenbrau, that's Nami and that is Sissy Banes." He introduced the two female ghosts. "And you are dead. Sorry about that. Love your show."

Suzie blinked in shock.