"A daughter?" Elizabeth asked, "And he just told you now?"
The sisters were alone, walking along Oakham stream. Mary had shared the existence of the girl with her sister, as Mary and Wickham had agreed the night before at the ball.
"He has not known me for very long, nor has he had many chances to speak to me alone. It is not as if he kept it from me."
"But should he not have told Papa when you first became engaged?" asked Elizabeth.
"And what difference would it have made? I was compromised. It would have just made them prejudiced against the child before they even have a chance to meet her."
"And you do not wish for Mama and Papa to know?"
"Not now. They may know later, closer to the time when we will fetch her from her school before Christmas."
"Who else knows of the child?"
"Well, her school, obviously. George said he would tell Mr Darcy as well, but as he has no other family, I do not think anyone else knows. Everyone will find out when they meet her. I want her to live with us, as it seems very lonely for her to be so small and far away at school with no family about."
"It will cause a scandal," said Elizabeth, "Are you prepared for the prattle that will go on when Wickham's love child is residing in your home?" Mary shrugged.
"If a child coming to live with her father causes a scandal, then people are far too ready to speak ill. A father is supposed to care for his children, and how can I ask him to care for any I may bear him and also request that his daughter remain sequestered away somewhere. She is just a child. She does not know of scandals or what it means to be legitimate or illegitimate."
"Certainly, but so soon?"
"And why should she remain at the school longer? I will be home to care for her while Wickham is working, and we shall hire a governess to see to her education."
"It seems you have it all settled. Why are you then informing me?"
"So Wickham and I can speak of her in the next week as we prepare for our wedding. I also want to make some rag dolls, both for the Gardiner girls and for Esther and to make her some embroidered handkerchiefs. If you know, then I may work on these things in your presence."
"You are too good, Mary, my dear sister," Elizabeth said, squeezing her arm, "I do not know that I should be so understanding if I were to find out that a man I was to marry in a week's time had a child."
"Well, you simply must ask Darcy before it comes to that point, then," Mary said, laughing.
"Darcy? What of Darcy?" Elizabeth exclaimed, "Certainly not. I could not marry such a reserved man, and besides, men of his consequence do not marry penniless nobodies. He is my friend, and nothing more."
"Speaking of your friend, here he comes with his sister, and my fiancé," she said, waving at the trio coming down the path. After they exchanged greetings, Miss Darcy begged leave to go to the house, for Kitty and Lydia had promised to teach her how to fix one of her bonnets that had been torn. After she left them, the four split into two pairs, with some distance growing between the couples as they walked, Elizabeth and Darcy walking ahead while Mary and Wickham dawdled behind.
"Did you tell your sister?" asked Wickham.
"I did. She was surprised. Not displeased, nor pleased, simply surprised. She said she does not know if she would be as understanding if she were I."
"Indeed, you are likely rather singular in your reaction to my news, although I could not be more grateful for such singularity."
"I suppose I am simply practical in my nature. There is a child, and nothing shall change that fact. She needs a mother and a father, and I am to be your wife. It seems to all fit together well enough. I understand the necessity of her being away at school now, as she needs supervision and education, but as I will be home when we wed, there seems to be no need for her to be so far away from her family."
"Then I praise your practicality," he said. They were silent as they walked for some time when a thought occurred to her.
"Where is Bingley? I would think he would want to see Jane," she asked.
"Then you have noticed their unannounced courtship as well?" He replied with a laugh, "He is still abed. I believe he drank rather too much punch and remained at the ball until nearly sunrise."
"I would need to be blind to not note it, especially as I must hear of Bingley fifteen times an hour when I am in her presence."
"She is rather reserved around him. Darcy and I had not been sure if she returned his regard," he said.
"She certainly does. She is just very modest and does not wish to show too much enthusiasm, for she does not feel certain of his regard yet. I assure you, in the safety of our rooms, she is insufferable."
"I will encourage him to come to the point, then, for he is likewise insufferable. With Miss Bennet's reserve, Darcy and I were uncertain if she was being pressured to accept his advances due to your mother's matchmaking or if she wished for his company."
"I do not know if she is ready to accept his hand yet, so do caution him. She certainly is rather infatuated with him at least. She extolls his many virtues and repeats their every conversation after we retire in the evening if that entirely gives away the nature of her feelings. However, it has been but a fortnight, which I know is a bit odd coming from me, but they have the luxury of time. My mother may be tenacious in her matchmaking, but my father would not allow her to pressure Jane overly much."
"And what of you? Do you extoll my many virtues and our every conversation to your sisters every evening?"
"I think…I think it is different. Bingley and Jane are infatuated with each other and are trying to make out each other's character while adhering to the strictures placed on couples that are not betrothed and thus, she analyses his every phrase for signs of affection. We have skipped all of that as we have never had those strictures, being engaged since the start. I do not have to tell my sisters, for I may simply talk to you."
"And yet, my dear, other than you telling me that you like me last evening, I have not heard of what your feelings are for me." He said, taking her hands and leading her a little off the path into a copse of trees.
"I do like you."
"And?" he asked, stepping closer to her.
"And I am glad it was you that night, and not someone else," she said, causing him to smile. She touched his cheek, her thumb stroking his dimple. "And I rather like your dimples and your smile. If one must be compromised, at least I was compromised by a handsome and kind man." He kissed the palm of her hand that was on his cheek.
"And I am glad it was you that night as well, for you are lovely, generous, practical, and intelligent. I am very close to being in love with you, I believe, my dear Mary," he said, now very close to her.
"You are?" she breathed.
He nodded and continued "and unless you say you do not want me to, I am going to kiss you now." He waited for a moment, and she closed her eyes to await his kiss. He touched his lips to hers very lightly, allowing her to adjust to the sensation. She liked the feeling, for she felt warm and his lips were soft. He pressed his lips a bit more firmly against hers, just for a moment, then pulled away. He smiled at her when they parted, and she returned the smile, unsure of what she was supposed to do now.
"Are you well, my dear?" he asked. She nodded.
"Very well," she said with a laugh, "Just uncertain as to what is the correct thing to do or say after a kiss."
"There are many things that can be done or said after a kiss, very few of them correct, that I will teach you in time," he said with a roguish smile, which made her blush. "But for now, I believe we had better catch up to Darcy and your sister," he added, gesturing back to the path.
They walked together, slowing their pace once Darcy and Elizabeth were in sight.
"Mary, I know sometimes matrons find it amusing to scare young brides about the marriage bed. I do not know why this is done, but I know it is common. Please, do not be afraid. I want you to enjoy all of my attentions, from the kisses to everything else to come. Do you know what is to come?"
"Not in detail, but I do live on a farming estate, so I have some idea. I surely hope it is more pleasant for human women than seems to be for mares," she responded. He burst out laughing to the point of tears. She was unsure of what in her statement was so very amusing, but she waited for him to calm and explain.
"My dear Mary, I am sorry to laugh. I should not. It will not be very like horses, I promise. I shall not bare my teeth at you, and I do hope you will not kick me. The principal body parts are the same, however, you are correct. For humans, of both sexes, it is enjoyable, even pleasurable. The first time, for women, is somewhat painful I have heard. I do not know how much, as I have not been with a maiden, but after that, it should not hurt." Mary nodded, suddenly very aware of what was to come, his greater experience, and of the women who he had been intimate with, giving them pleasure.
"Mary?" he asked, searching her face.
"I'm sorry. I was just thinking."
"It seemed a rather serious subject on which you were thinking."
"I was being a ninny, that is all."
"I am sure you were not being a ninny. Pray tell me," he asked.
"It's rather silly and petty. I- Just- Just the way you speak of it. How many women you have likely been with, and…" she paused, unsure of how to phrase her thoughts, "and I felt a bit jealous and rather like I might not be able to measure up, I suppose. It is rather silly as you have a daughter, so obviously, you have, and Darcy said you had been a rake, but it is different hearing of your daughter than hearing you speak of the act," she said, speaking and walking faster as she continued.
"Mary, please slow down," he entreated. She slowed to a more regular pace, and he pulled her into the trees again and into an embrace. "Mary, I cannot change the past. I am not sure I want to, for then I might not have Esther. There have been many women, I will not lie to you. Most were courtesans, but some, like Esther's mother, were actresses and singers and the like. I am not proud of my past. I do not desire a repeat of it, and I shall be faithful to you. I will teach you what you need to know, and it will be different, for it will mean something. Do you understand, my dear Mary?"
She relaxed into his embrace as he spoke, listening to his words, but still unsure. She wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him. "I do not understand, George, and I do not think I really can yet," she said, "But I do believe you."
"I suppose that must do well enough for now," he said. They stood thus embracing until they heard the voices of Darcy and Elizabeth. They stepped onto the path again, each blushing as they were uncertain of what Darcy and Elizabeth might think. Elizabeth gave Mary a quizzical look, but neither Darcy nor Elizabeth made any comment on their prolonged absence.
"Thank you, Fitz," Wickham said as they sat together over their port late that evening.
"You're welcome. I am not sure for what you are thanking me, however," responded Darcy.
"For allowing me a bit of privacy to speak with Mary. She would not have spoken as freely if she might have been overheard."
Darcy shrugged. "As you are to wed in eight days, I do not see the harm in whatever privacy you need."
"You will stand up with me, will you not?" Wickham asked.
"Certainly, I will, George," he replied.
"Capital," Wickham said smiling.
"Shall there be dancing at the wedding breakfast?" Bingley asked, "I would dearly love to dance with the Miss Bennets."
"I am certain you would. Particularly the eldest, if I understand you properly," Wickham cajoled.
"I would like to dance with them all, and your dear new wife, but yes, Miss Bennet is everything lovely and I would dance with her happily."
"By the by, Bingley, Mary says that Miss Bennet is just as annoyingly besotted with you as you are with her. I believe her exact words were 'extolls his many virtues 15 times an hour' and 'she is insufferable'. It seems the poor girl is uncertain of your regard and thus is hesitant to show hers," said Wickham. Darcy laughed.
"To think, they have so much in common. They can both be absolutely insufferable when speaking of each other and both are too modest to show too much feeling. You shall be perfect for each other," Darcy added.
"Are you certain?" asked Bingley.
"I am not sure how one might misunderstand Mary's words," Wickham said, "To be sure, she also said Miss Bennet might not be yet ready to hear your proposals, but she certainly returns your regard."
"Did you spend the entire time we left you alone discussing Bingley's courtship of his Miss Bennet instead of wooing your own?" Darcy asked.
"There was plenty of time for both activities. And what of you and Miss Elizabeth? Shall I play the older brother and ask what you did in the private moments when you were not with Mary and I?"
"Yes, let us ponder the circumstance that makes you the older brother in this situation, my friend. What a singular experience this must be for you. I suppose you must have a great deal of experience being lectured and beaten by male relations, so you do know what methods to employ. Yet, there is no need. We walked to Oakham Mount and discussed your child and your upcoming marriage. It is not as if I am in the least romantically interested in Miss Elizabeth."
"Hmmm. I am not quite sure I believe you, for I have known you far too long for that," Wickham said, teasingly. "I shall, however, let the matter rest for now, as you are far too honourable for anything of any concern to ever occur."