"Do I look hot or what?" James says, bursting out of the bathroom into the Gryffindor boys' dorm where his friends are getting ready.
Sirius snorts seeing James with the eyeliner he stole from him drawn into two thick wings from the corner of his eyes. "I thought you were supposed to be 'seducing Lily'."
"I am."
"It would probably help if you didn't look like a massive homosexual then. You're almost giving me a run for my money."
Remus giggles when James turns to him in outrage and he sees his badly done make-up.
"I don't look like a massive homosexual, right Moony?"
"Uh." Remus thinks he totally does, but James looks despairing so he tries to break it gently. "It certainly gives you a certain... feminine aspect."
James groans. "Fuck's sake. How am I supposed to impress her now?"
Peter pats his shoulder as he passes. "Do yourself a favour and wash it off, mate. You'll find another way."
Sirius gives his outfit its finishing touches and goes over to Remus, who's already received many compliments about how his robes accentuate his 'hot as fuck body'- Sirius' words, of course.
"How do I look?"
Remus does a grabbing motion with both hands. Sirius steps closer and lets him play with his bow tie and run his fingers over the fabric, definitely not just an excuse to touch him.
"Sexy," he says to Sirius's delight. "Shame I'm going to have to share you with everyone."
"I think you'll find I am all yours," Sirius says in a low voice, playing with Remus' bow tie.
Peter throws them a dirty look. "Can you two save it for the shack? I'd rather not throw up on my dress robes."
"Suck it up," Sirius says. Nothing can stop him from losing himself in Remus' deep, brown eyes.
"Bets on how long it'll be before Snivellus calls someone a slur?" James announces when he returns with the eyeliner washed off. "Or should we take bets on who?"
"Considerate of us to offer him such a wide selection," says Remus. Snape always has something to say about either his disability, Sirius' sexuality, or James' skin colour.
"It could've been you if you kept that eyeliner on," Sirius says to James. He receives a swift middle finger.
Remus listens to them bicker between themselves and tries to quell the urge to tear his dress robes off his skin. He hates the fabric, it's scratchy and restricting, and he's already more anxious than normal thanks to the uncertainty of the approaching ball. He'd meant to be sitting on his chair in the common room at this time, reading, ten minutes away from going upstairs to the dorm and getting ready for bed. Instead, he has to trek down to a hall for an unspecified amount of time with people dancing randomly and nothing how it should be.
"You still all right for this evening?" Sirius says once he lets Peter take over arguing with James, seeing Remus standing stiffly in the corner.
"It's going to be shit," Remus says, crossing his arms.
"We can stay-" Sirius starts but Remus shakes his head.
"It's fine. We should go now. Wouldn't want to be late for the fun," he adds darkly.
Sirius grins. "That's the spirit." He claps his hands together. "Right everyone, let's go. Time to bring the life to the party."
Remus follows Sirius into the Great hall. They agreed to go together since people tend to put their increasingly public affection down to standard marauders shenanigans. Neither are concerned with hiding their relationship since Sirius moved to James' and no longer lives with the fear of being outed to his parents, and Remus' biggest obstacle was accepting himself, which he eventually has.
Immediately when they enter the hall, Remus hates it. The music is uncomfortably loud, the lights attack him from all angles, there are too many colours, layers and layers of voices talking over each other, itchy robes sticking to his skin. None of this is supposed to be happening. He's supposed to be in the bathroom brushing his teeth at this time.
Sirius is the drop of certainty he's clinging onto so he's forced to follow him further into the hall where the music is louder and all he wants to do is run back out. The voices blur into one big uncoordinated blob of loudness, too much noise, and he squeezes his eyes closed to block out the colours. He can't think. He can't breathe. Everything is too much. He just wants it to stop, but it won't stop, because no one sees things the way he does. Too loud. Too bright. Too many voices.
Sirius doesn't notice Remus is struggling until he checks to see if he's laughing along with him at James trip over his feet when pretending to dance. He should've been paying attention, he knows he should, especially when this evening is everything Remus hates. When he looks back, Remus is crouching on the floor, holding his hands over his ears with closed eyes, rocking back and forth and muttering to himself.
"Shit," he mutters, signalling James over urgently. Already, people are starting to stare. It won't be long before they're laughing, and that won't help Remus one bit.
"Moony, it's Sirius," Sirius says, sitting down next to him as James stands next to them and glares at anyone daring to stare.
"You're okay, darling. Take a few breaths," he says quietly. "I know it's loud in here, so we're going to leave now, all right? Can I squash your head first? Would that help?"
Remus doesn't open his eyes or stop rocking, just nods. He can't focus on anything right now, but Sirius gets through to him. Feeling two hands on the sides of his head firmly pressing together, 'squashing him' as they've termed it, it eases the tension a fraction. He likes being squashed. For some reason, it's soothing.
"Take my hand and we'll go up to the dorm," Sirius says, trying to remain calm for Remus even though he hates seeing him like this. It's all his fault for making him come along. "It's going to be okay."
Remus grabs Sirius' hand and opening his eyes, goes with him away from the brightness and the noise.
Remus lies in bed, exhausted. His dress robes have been discarded for his favourite jumper, loose and a smooth brown fabric, and James lit up several candles so only their soft glow illuminates the room. The music and voices from earlier spin around his head, but it's quieter now, more like a bad memory. James After nodding when James said 'no speaking?', he got comfy lying completely still in bed.
He nodded that Sirius and James were fine to talk quietly to each other, so they do, muttering between themselves on the adjacent bed.
"Moony, you look like you could do with being lied on," Sirius says, also undressed into his normal black vest and sweatpants. Remus nods from facing into the pillow, so he gives a thumbs up to James who's eager to get back to impressing Lily.
"We wish you good luck," says Sirius, waving him off. "If you want somewhere to fuck, you're not welcome here."
James throws him a look. "That's rich coming from you."
"You haven't seen us fuck in here."
"Yeah, but I know you do.
"Sirius raises his eyebrows. "Come back with evidence and I'll listen. Go and get your girl."
"She's not my girl yet," James says with a pout.
"Yet," Sirius emphasises. "Impress her with your dancing skills, she'll be diving into bed when she sees you trip over your feet for the sixth time."
"Ha, fuck off."
James glances at Remus before he goes. "I'll be back midnight latest," he says, knowing he likes to know what's happening when. Remus doesn't reply, not that he was expecting him to, so he waves goodbye and leaves.
"I'm going to lie on you," Sirius says now they're alone, going over to Remus' bed.
Remus wriggles around in anticipation. One of his favourite things is being lied on. It's like a whole body squash, and the only thing he has to look forward to after having a 'funny turn' as his parents call it.
Sirius climbs onto the bed where he tucked Remus tightly into the duvet, and flops down on him, making a starfish shape to try and reach every part of him. Unfortunately, and a constant hilarity to Remus, he's about half a foot smaller than him, and Remus is still mid growth spurt while Sirius thinks he stopped growing when he was fifteen.
Remus closes his eyes, and with Sirius' weight on him, feels much more relaxed. He wiggles around under his weight and opens his eyes to see Sirius grinning at him.
"You're so fucking cute," he says, copying Remus' wiggle but not in a mocking way how Snape and the other Slytherins like to imitate his stims. "And I would kiss you, but I wouldn't want to take advantage of your ever so fragile state."
Remus shakes his head, a don't be ridiculous of course I want you to kiss me, and smiles encouragingly. It doesn't matter when it is, he always likes kissing Sirius.
"Bite me if I accidentally crush your dick," Sirius mutters as he clambers over Remus to get closer to his face. "I'm not gonna completely go for it, but you know. It'd be a shame not to kiss you when you look so cuddly."
Remus bangs the back of his head against the pillow for Sirius to hurry up, and he gives a mock frown.
"God, all right. Eager."
Sirius gently takes Remus' face in his hands and kisses him. It's sweet and soft and Remus takes his hands out of the duvet tucking him in to grasp Sirius' face before he gets any ideas about going easy on him. The transition into making out is as effortless as it has been over the last few months, and Sirius doesn't twice about breathing a little heavier into Remus' mouth.
He flops his head down on the duvet after a minute or two. Glancing up, he can immediately interpret the playful look in Remus' eyes flickering between him and the duvet.
"You're such a shit," he says with an annoyed grin, knowing he's silently referring to the first time they made out on the covers of his bed, and he declared it wasn't gay because it was 'on a bed, not in bed'. Remus and James haven't stopped teasing him for it since.
Remus watches Sirius get up, licking his lips to savour his lingering taste when he's not looking.
"I have an idea," says Sirius, going over to the dorm's tape player. "We can have our own mini Yule ball in here, just us two. What do you think?"
Remus smiles seeing Sirius looking pleased with the brilliance of his idea, and thinks it would be rude to refuse, so he rolls out of bed deciding he's had enough marinating time.
"You pick the song," says Sirius, shaking his head to get the hair out of his face. "Don't put anything shit on, though. I better not hear a single fucking chord of Bob Dylan."
Remus throws him a look but relents and puts one of his favourite songs on, Eclipse.
"Pink Floyd. Predictable, but good choice," says Sirius as the mellow music hums out at its lowest volume. The music carries a much better melody than whatever harsh classical music was blaring in the Great hall. Remus is feeling much happier now, though he doesn't rush himself to start speaking again because he knows Sirius doesn't mind when he goes non-verbal. 'He likes it because it means he can get more out of his own fat gob' James once helpfully said.
Sirius offers a hand. "Would you like to dance?" he says in a posh accent. He watches Remus hold his arms up and flap them up and down because he loves the feeling of that jumper on his arms. Remus is charmed by the notion and the corners of his mouth turn up into a shy smile as he takes Sirius' hand.
"I have no fucking idea how to slow dance by the way," Sirius mutters, awkwardly taking Remus' hands and doing a vague swaying motion.
Remus does know how to dance, or rather he's spent too long watching other people doing it when he was younger and wishing he had someone to dance with. He didn't understand why he was never as enthusiastic as James about getting to dance with the girls at the annual ball, that was until Sirius hit fourteen, announced he was gay to the dorm, and never stopped going on it about his 'devastating magnetism for men'. That along with James' aggressive and Peter's eventual support made it easier to come to terms with his own sexuality.
He puts his hands on Sirius' waist and pulls him closer, patting his shoulders. Sirius takes the hint and wraps his arms around his shoulders, leaning right in so his head is resting under Remus' chin.
"I know you're just doing this to make me feel small," Sirius mutters into his neck. "You're a dickhead. A really fluffy, annoyingly adorable dickhead."
Remus hums along to the song, listening to Sirius' half-hearted complaints as they sway side to side. It's not conventional; they're both dressed down, almost in pitch black, the music barely audible, but Remus loves every second of it.
Sirius plants a small kiss on Remus' lips, a tiny admission of all the feelings he's too scared to say aloud. Remus doesn't mind. He understands what it's like not being able to say things aloud. He just clutches Sirius' waist tighter as a silent confession of his own feelings and loses himself in swaying in the darkness.