Matrix Recollections

Written by Omnicrom

Standard Disclaimer: This work is a non-profit derivative work of fanfiction. I claim no ownership to Digimon or its characters.

Case Number 004 - MT/Gm

Office of Network Administration and Security - Records of File 1022022:

Summary: Transcript of subject responses from a series of voluntary interviews undertaken to record the relevant personal experiences of ONAS children of concern (hereafter "Tamers") and their associated Realized AI symbiont (hereafter "Partner Digimon"). All participants were asked a series of questions related to their subjective experiences related to the Quantum Pairing Phenomena (hereafter "Partnership") they have undergone. Participants universally stated verbal language would be inadequate to fully express their feelings, but nonetheless agreed to be interviewed.

Editorial note: this project was the first time ONAS attempted to create a case study profile related to the partnership phenomenon from three different angles. Conclusions based on this material remain pending.

Begin Transcipt:

Hello? Does it work? Can you hear- you can hear Guilmon? Yay! Guilmon has never-

Oh, okay… Guilmon will… Ahem, I will answer, um, what's "for posterity" mean again? Is it like pasta because Guil, um I- oh! So gui, so you'll remember what I say? I get it, it's like a picture but for voices! What should I talk about?

The first time we met? Well Takato drew a picture of Guil- of me (I've seen it!), and then he… Oh, you know? Okay. Well then we were partners. No, I don't remember before that, I wasn't there until we were partners, so I don't know what it's like to not be partners. I've never not been partners, and I'll always be Takato's partner.

Evolving? Which? The first time? That was in the park when I met Impmon back when he was being bad. Takato thought I did a bad thing, but I didn't know what a bad thing was, and I wasn't good at talking back then and Takato, Takato got scared. Takato thought he was wrong and Takato was afraid he'd been a bad partner. When he found out it was Impmon being bad and not Guilmon he was so relieved, and I was glad he was happy. Takato believed in me so I evolved and became Growmon! It was all hot feeling and Voosh and Rawr and Wam! And Growmon won! But it was really hard to turn back into Guilmon after that, we had to practice.

Which time? Well Guilmon, I mean I evolved to Ultimate for the first time two times! But the first time wasn't good. If you're sure…

That time was right after Beelzebumon killed Leomon. Takato got really angry. I was Megalo Growmon then, and I got really angry too. Takato wanted me to evolve to hurt Beelzebumon really really bad. I did too, so I evolved.

I was Megidramon. I was really angry. I wanted to kill Beelzebumon. I didn't want anyone else to be hurt. And it was really really hot. And Takato wasn't there for me anymore so I couldn't win. It was too hot, I couldn't keep the hot from spilling out without Takato so I broke a lot of things and hurt a lot of other Digimon even though I didn't want to. It wasn't any good, Takato didn't want me to just fight, he wanted to be friends and Megidramon can only fight.

After that Takato came and got Guilmon. Out of all the Guilmon that there could ever be, only Guilmon is Takato's partner! And so Takato and Guilmo-I mean, me tried again but this time as partners working together and we evolved into Dukemon. Dukemon doesn't have to hurt people, Dukemon has Takato to make him strong, and Dukemon can do more than just fight so Dukemon is a better Digimon to evolve into.

Okey! You're welcome!

I never really thought I could become a Digimon Tamer. I mean I always wanted to have a Digimon partner since the first time I saw Digimon on TV, but I didn't think Digimon were real. Then I found a Blue Card, and when I scanned it the card turned my card reader into a digivice. That got me really excited, and so I invented Guilmon. But I still didn't really expect Guilmon would come alive and become my partner... I mean on the TV they were all special Chosen heroes but I wasn't anyone special, right?

I also didn't realize how hard it was to have a Digimon partner. On the show never have to worry about hiding their partners while they go to school, or being scared of them getting taken away. None of that happens on the TV, it's way easier. And when their partners evolve they go back to normal right away but the first time Guilmon- oh you heard about that?

Um, so what do you-? Oh. Well, if you're sure it'll help...

So, for a while I was really worried that Guilmon was going to stop being my friend if he evolved too far. It was cool see the Digimon I imagined become real, Growmon and Megalo Growmon were amazing! But they were also so much bigger and scarier and they were always ready to fight, but that's because Guilmon evolved to fight and protect me! I think I knew that, but because it was so different from the show- no that's no excuse. What really happened was that I wasn't brave enough to be Guilmon's Tamer. The first time he had to fight one of the Devas I was holding him back, and when we fought against Vikaralamon, Jiang and Ruki had to remind me Megalo Growmon was my partner and he would never be any less a friend. The only one who could make that happen…

The first time Guilmon evolved into an Ultimate I… I wanted him to be like that for a moment. I let him down. I made him evolve like that. And then I let him down again because I was scared and I couldn't be his partner. He was still doing what I wanted, he was still fighting for me and trying to be my friend even after I'd- but I didn't want him to be like that! Digimon aren't just fighting monsters, they're our friends and a Digimon like that is, is just sad. Maybe if I had been there as his partner he wouldn't have gotten hurt, but I really didn't want Guilmon to just be that. After that, well a lot of stuff happened and I don't really know if I understood it all, but Guilmon came back and we evolved the right way, like we were meant to.

I think we became Dukemon because I wanted to be brave, I wanted to be as brave as a Digimon Tamer should be and Dukemon is- no that's not right. When I evolve with Guilmon into Dukemon I'm still me but I'm also Dukemon. When Dukemon runs I can feel the wind. It always feels warm when we're Dukemon, but when it's cold and it rains I can feel that too because Dukemon feels that. If I'm brave when I'm Dukemon it's both me and Guilmon being brave.

Evolving like that, maybe it sounds weird but evolving with Guilmon made me think about me, and all the other tamers. It feels like we're all so different now, but it also feels like we didn't change at all. Jiang and Ruki and Juri and everyone else are all the same even after we've come so far. We're all still friends. But I also want to keep evolving myself, I want to be braver like Dukemon and smart like Jiang and strong like Ruki and kind like Juri, I want to keep being Guilmon's partner and friend and Tamer. I'm not special, but I still want to be more like the characters on the TV show.

Yeah, I can. No, we don't need to be fighting or anything to evolve, it's actually really easy! Oh? Um, okay, but- No I don't mean that, it's just if you've already asked both of us- Sure, okay.

I, Dukemon, am a Holy Knight Digimon that evolves via Matrix Evolution from Guilmon when I join with Takato, but undoubtably you know this already. Yes, he is. He can, what I hear Takato hears. That is not strictly possible. Of course. If answering what you ask will help you find what it is you seek then I will oblige.

My evolution? I can speak to it again, but I am afraid it would be fruitless. I have already told you what it was and how it happened twice, there is nothing more I can add to what you have already heard. Naturally I remember.

That question I, Dukemon, can answer. The act of evolution in itself can be neither right nor wrong, whether it is one or the other depends on the circumstances and motivations surrounding it and how its power is used. Megidramon was the wrong evolution to emerge because I cannot use that power to protect those things that were precious to me. I hold a shield to defend, Megidramon wields only blades that destroy.

I could, yes. No, only by choice. It was also my choice the first time. I can imagine it. Yes, though I pray to the contrary, there may some day be a time when that is the right evolution. Megidramon's power to wreak devastation is greater than mine own. No, that is not what I mean, I, Dukemon, am not weaker than Megidramon and Megidramon is not stronger than myself, the difference comes from how my power is expressed. As I have said, the power of Megidramon can only destroy and so is useless to my purpose and my desires. Like comparing a sword to a bomb? Yes, I would agree that is an apt comparison.

Who I see myself as? An interesting final question but a simple one. I, Dukemon, am myself. Yes, even if previously I was seperate, and even if I will again become seperate. No, I do recognize your confusion. Takato is also me and Takato is a human so I know what it is to be human, but I am a Digimon and such things are normal for Digimon so it is normal for me. Yes, right now it is normal for Takato as well. Correct, as I said I am a Digimon and I am the same but also different as I evolve. If I speak and act differently that is why, but I repeat that I am also the same being as I was.

No, with all due respect to you, I, Dukemon, must disagree. To change and grow and transform and still be ourselves, and furthermore to strive towards becoming who we are, that process is the same whether you are a Digimon or a human.

I have been sitting on this one for an embarrassingly long time, and I figure it's about time to actually post it if only because it has been cutting into my productivity in a way I do not like. Believe it or not my struggle has just been coming up with the title for it, and I'm still not totally satisfied with what I've landed on, but here we are. If anyone has a better title I'm all ears to it, I'll absolutely credit you.

As for the body of the story, this is another one that's been percolating around my brain for a long while. Not Black Stranger long, but long enough. The end result is this, a shorter, more experimental story told using a different perspective than I usually use with a much greater emphasis on voice. Hopefully that came through.

This story, like every one of my other stories, is also drawn from my particular read on the story and its characters and my desire to explore my particular pitches. I think the major portion of why I decided to buckle down and actually write this had a lot to do with reactions and interactions regarding other fan works, both one that is brand-new that ran against the grain of my mind and another very old one that portrays one of the concepts of Digimon Tamers in a way that feels less and less true the more I reflect on it. But really that's not important, what is important is that this is yet another take on some of the most intriguing parts of Digimon Tamers. Hopefully if you've read this far you enjoyed it.

Next: Case Number 002 - LJ/Tm