She couldn't believe she was in bed with Patrick Jane. But here she was, propped up on her elbow, staring down at him.

That they hadn't done anything was beside the point. The fact was, just a few hours ago, her life had changed forever because she had gotten off that plane finally knowing she loved the man who had been her friend – and irritant – for years.

He was sleeping soundly, so she decided to simply gaze at him while she had the chance. For most of the years she had known him, she hadn't really thought of him as a man – at least not a man with normal, everyday desires. Rather he was a man bent on justice for his family, who would help with other cases on the side. Oh, he had become her friend, one who counted on her and who she knew would be there for her. Beyond that … well, there hadn't been a 'beyond that'.

But since his return to the US, things had been different. His search for justice was complete, and he had become – what? She hadn't known, and she suspected that neither had he. They had stumbled along over the past few months not quite knowing how to relate to one another and the strain had just about killed her.

Patrick had hidden it better, but she was positive it had been the same – probably worse – for him. She at least had Marcus – she grimaced, knowing she'd have to deal with him soon – but that burgeoning romance had kept her mind off Jane, at least as much as was possible.

But all during that time, that fun and romantic time, there had been something bothering her, a yearning that she hadn't been able to put her finger on. It had made her less patient, more frustrated at Jane but she still hadn't known what was causing it.

And then he had told her, had told a whole airplane of people in fact, that he loved her, that he didn't want to wake up without her in his life.

After the first few moments of stunned embarrassment, it was as if something had clicked in her brain – or more likely her heart – and she had known. She had quickly gathered her things, thanked the woman beside her, apologized in general to the other passengers, and demanded her way off the plane. She was pretty sure everyone was glad to see her go.

As she'd walked back to the airport it had gotten clearer and clearer. Of course she was in love with Jane! She had been for years, but she had repressed it, thinking him unable to love another woman after the death of his wife. He'd never shown himself as someone who needed or craved that kind of love and so she had closed off those feelings in herself. With his words, they had sprung free.

And now, here she was, in bed with the man. She smiled slowly and reached out and very gently trailed her finger along his unshaved jawline. He moved slightly but did not wake. She was glad, because she wanted to simply take him in and allow herself the pleasure of just loving him.

He was a handsome man, she thought, a very handsome man. It's funny that she'd known that intellectually, but it hadn't really meant much to her. She grasped that it was because she'd only seen his wounds and had responded only to his outrageous behavior.

Now she was able to appreciate how gorgeous – and sexy – he really was.

He'd aged, of course, but then so had she. There were lines around his eyes and down his cheeks. But rather than detracting from his looks, they added character. Here was a man who had truly gone through hell, but who could still laugh and love.

But he was also still tender, she knew. He was both frightened and unsure. Both had taken a leap of faith but in many ways, Jane had more to lose than did she.

So, she'd have to be gentle with him – and understanding. She'd have to be patient as he worked to open up, not just as her friend, but as her lover.

And she'd have to ask for his patience as well. Neither of them was good at wearing their hearts on their sleeves. It was going to make for an interesting courtship. Two tough nuts who needed to shed their shells.

"Hey," his voice croaked at her. She glanced down to see him blinking rapidly, trying to clear the sand from his eyes and wake up. "You're awake," he stated.

"Mmm hmm," she replied. She leaned down and gave him a brief kiss on the lips.

"What were you doing," he asked as he yawned and stretched.

"Just looking at you," she told him.

His eyebrows went up and he pushed himself up slightly, so that he could look directly at her. "Looking at me? Why?"

She shrugged. "I was just thinking how handsome you are," she told him matter-of-factly, "and now I get to enjoy that."

She almost laughed to see how embarrassed Jane was at her statement. He tried to hide it, but she could tell he didn't know quite what to do or say. It was a rare, but enjoyable moment, when she could make Jane squirm.

He finally just rolled his eyes and rolled over onto his side and put his arm around her. "Thank you," he was able to say. "And I get to enjoy you – and not just looking at the beautiful you," he told her, as he leaned down and gave her a much longer and deeper kiss.

"Now that's a nice way to wake up in the morning," she said when she was ultimately able to speak. Thankfully Jane looked as stunned as her.

"What time is it?" Jane asked, knowing they each needed a moment to compose themselves.

She grabbed her phone from the night table. "It's 1:20," she told him. At the same time, she grimaced slightly when she saw there were a number of texts from Marcus. She was going to have to call him soon, something she was dreading. She'd texted him last night when she'd decided not to go to DC, although all she'd said was that something had come up and she couldn't make it that night. She told him she'd call. He was probably frantic.

Jane stretched again and then sat up, his legs over the side of the bed. "Shall we get dressed and head out?" he asked her. "I wouldn't mind grabbing a bite to eat and then maybe we can explore a bit."

"Sounds good," she answered, but knew she had to make that call. "Uh – I have to call Marcus," she said quietly. "I haven't told him yet."

"Then you should call," he told her calmly, although he turned away and stood up as he said that. He stretched his arms above his head and then dropped them. "Why don't I get dressed and head down to the lobby. I can look up some things we can do. When you're done, just come down and get me."

She nodded, biting her lip and looking nervous. "Okay. I really wish I didn't have to do this."

"I know." He walked up to her and lifted her face with his finger. "I'm sorry."

"Why?" she frowned. "There's nothing for you to apologize for. It was my decision to go to DC."

"I should have said something sooner."

"Yes, you should," she smiled, "but I still shouldn't have said yes to Marcus when I had feelings for you. I was just – confused – and he offered me something I thought I wanted."

"Uh – what was that?"

She grinned. "A normal life," she told him.

He didn't smile back, but instead looked nervous. "Teresa – I " he stopped, as if unsure how to continue.

"It's okay Jane – I was just teasing. I know what I want – and what I've got. You really don't need to feel sorry, nor to worry. I just need to let him know. Everything will be okay."

He nodded and finally gave her a smile, although both of them knew it was a half-hearted one. He grabbed some clothes and headed to the bathroom to change.

As soon as he was gone, Teresa closed her eyes, dreading what was to come. As much as she'd said to Jane that Marcus would understand, she knew that this was going to devastate him. He really loved her and had been so excited to have her move to DC.

And she had told him she was going to marry him! "Oh God," she murmured, dropping her head into her hands. What had she done? Out of anger for Jane she'd said yes to a good, kind man, whose heart she was now going to break.

"You are an idiot, Teresa," she told herself. "Well, I might as well get this over with."

She stood up and grabbed some jeans and quickly pulled them on over her shorts. There were chairs on the balcony, so she headed there, grabbing her phone and a bottle of water. Her mouth was pretty dry.

Jane dressed quickly and then headed back into their room, just as Teresa was shutting the balcony door behind her. He watched her for a few seconds, sighed, grabbed the key, and headed to the lobby. He would give her the privacy she needed and pray to the god he no longer believed in, that Pike wouldn't change her mind.

As he walked down the hallway to the stairs, he admitted to himself – he was terrified.