Chapter Four:

A Rescue Mission and Production Drama with Guns

After arriving at Nintendo HQ, the staff untied Mario, who reluctantly got ready to star in the next game project; NEW SUPER MARIO LAND UNIVERSE ULTRA, which was a weird title idea and led to the plumber feeling concerned that Nintendo was desperate for ideas.

He spent some time reading the script, then the bell rang and he was ushered to the shooting area for his big scene where he would once again battle Bowser and save the Princess.

While that was a little... redundant... to say the least, it was a hero's job.

Mario had rescued Peach from Bowser so many times, it felt like a walk in the park at this point. However, the plumber felt bored and frustrated with being at this place. He'd much rather make memes with SMG4 and do something with Meggy such as, well, help her with her sports coach career.

"AND ACTION!" The Director shouted.

The set was outdoors, with metal bars surrounding a series of platforms and a drawbridge with Bowser awaiting on the other side with a tied-up Peach. Mario stepped forward with his best attempt at a heroic face. Despite his mentally-challenged mental state, he was begrudgingly willing to go along.

"MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Bowser howled, "YOU CAN'T GET ME, MARIO! I AM UNBEATABLE! You may have bested me before, but this time, THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO STOP ME FROM MAKING HER MY QUEEN AND OBTAINING THE POWER STARS OF THE UNIVERSE! WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Yahoo…" Mario whooped in response, he became cross-eyed, "WITH A GUN! TM" The silly plumber man whipped out a pistol, aiming it right at a shocked Bowser while Peach cried out in terror.

"CUT, CUT, CUT, CUT!" The Director yelled, the cameras stopped rolling and everyone looked at Mario with dumbfounded expressions, "No guns! This is a Super Mario Bros game! We do not use guns unless this is a Metroid game or a Splatoon game! No guns!"

"But Mario feels safe with guns…" Mario groaned, "SMG4 lets me use them..."

"I call bogus!" Bowser called, "You know that's bullsh..."

Mario pulled the trigger and the Koopa King yelped in shock as the bullet pierced his leg, Peach screamed and medics raced in to attend to Bowser, who clutched his leg and groaned Peter Griffin style.

"Hey, the director said no guns!" Lawyer Kong yelled, "You're supposed to obey your creators, Mario, do not make me come over there!"

A frustrated Mario stamped his foot. "Mario hates it here!" He snapped. 'I should be eating yummy plates of spaghetti, helping SMG4 make memes or napping, but no, stupid Nintendo and stupid Lawyer Kong coming to milk me for their video gaming business money because I'm their mascot and number one IP.'

"Alright, we do a take two when Bowser has healed!" The director yelled, "Someone get him a healing potion or a 1-Up and get our villain healed up right away, we cannot delay this game and you put away that stupid firearm, Mario! I WILL NOT ALLOW GUNS TO BE USED IN AN E FOR EVERYONE GAME..."

"OBJECTION!" Someone yelled.

Security guards pulled out service pistols and something landed on the ground with a clattering sound, followed by a whining noise and an explosion that sent a couple of people on-set flying with orange ink going everywhere.

A couple guards looked around, wondering what was going on. Then a gunshot rang out and a guard fell over, half of his face tainted with orange paint.

Mario heard a battle cry and turned to watch as his friend Meggy entered the set and pounced on a Nintendo Ninja, she kicked him in the head and knocked him to the ground.

The Inkling-turned human raised her Splattershot and splatted another guard, then she threw another Splat-bomb and the following explosion damaged several pieces of Nintendo equipment and scattered more staff members.

"You need some saving, Mario?" Meggy called.

"WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Mario yelled, "Now that's what I'm talking about!"

"NO! NO! NO!" Lawyer Kong screamed, "YOU! CANNOT! POSSIBLY! DO! THIS!"

Mario joined Meggy's side and flipped off the Nintendo guards; Star-Lord style. He fist-bumped Meggy and she took his hand, giving the staff a serious look as she fidgeted with a Splat-bomb. "Sorry, you guys, but Mario is a FREE person and has freedom!" Meggy yelled.

She threw the orange ink-colored explosive in Lawyer Kong's face and the explosion knocked him over, along with The Director and several more staff members as well.

An alarm wailed and guards raced onto the set, Meggy made a run for it with Mario by her side with the former Inkling inking up more of the area and splatting several Ninjas and security guards along the way.

On the way out, Meggy threw three more Splat-bombs onto the set and she bolted with Mario, just before the Splatoon explosives went off, splatting more staff members and ruining the area even further.

Lawyer Kong slowly got back up, a ninja poofed onto the scene and offered the monkey a towel to wipe the ink off.

The corporate monkey looked at the splatted Director, who sat up and rubbed his head with a moan. His shock became replaced with loathing, Lawyer Kong's ears steamed and his eyes narrowed with rage. He grabbed his brief-case and left the set; the Kong knew what to do.

Nobody stole Nintendo's mascot from them, nobody...